Tell iVillage YOUR story!

Before I begin with this post, I must share the BEST (sarcasm) comment I received yesterday at temple for Yom Kippur. I was hugging and kissing my grandparents hello when one of their friends (an acquaintance, actually), looked in our direction. "Is that your granddaughter, Morty?" he asked. Profuse bragging ensued, followed by an introduction. The other man stood to shake my hand and about halfway-up, he realized the full extent of my tallness, which overshadowed him by a good four inches. His eyes bugged out and he gave an exaggerated shiver, like he had just rolled over in bed and found a dead, beheaded horse on the pillow next to him.

"Oh, boy!" he said. "My, you're a big one, aren't ya!?"

Let the atoning begin....

And now, the actual point of this post:

Looking for a shot at fame this weekend, a chance to have your words of wisdom immortalized and published for all to see? I mean, really, what else do you have on tap - a matinee of Beverly Hills Chihuahua and some Thai takeout? Seriously, just do this:

iVillage is starting a new site all about fitness, diet, nutrition, body image - basically, the stuff you all know and love. My editors are gathering answers to a whole slew of questions (read 'em after the jump, below, by clicking on "Read More.") We want you to share your lessons, struggles and successes by emailing in any fun, poignant or practical stories and tips about weight loss or leading a healthy lifestyle. The only guidelines:

-Keep your answer to 250 words or less
-Provide your first name (or user name of your choice). Note that this name WILL be posted publicly online (hence the chance for fame!)
- Provide your email address (which iVillage will not share with any users. It’s only for verification purposes and so we can send you a link to your story when it’s posted, which will happen on or before Nov. 18)
-While not required, you may also tell us: how many children you have, your age, marital status, city, state and occupation (if you provide this information, it WILL be posted on our site along with your story)
-Email your answer with the subject line: Diet Stories, along with your name and email address, by Friday, October 17th to conqueryourcravings@nbcuni.com

Here's an example of a funny one that's already been submitted.

Q: What's the wackiest diet you've tried?

A: Years ago, my mom found this recipe online for something called "Joggin' in a Jug". The name alone should've been my first clue that this crazy scheme would never work. Apparently, this horrid concoction was made with a blend of apple cider vinegar and other ingredients, all mixed, of course, in a jug. Then you'd have to drink this vile liquid every day, or was it multiple times each day? I can't recall... I've a memory block from the trauma of it. Anyway, the theory behind "Joggin' in a Jug" was that the vinegar would cause your stomach to shrink so you'd feel full faster and therefore eat less, causing you to lose weight. What the author of the diet failed to mention, however, is that you'd also lose weight from spending your days in the powder room, not to mention the blood loss from cracking your skull on the floor when you fainted from hunger and malnutrition.

-Stephanie

As you'll see after the jump, you can write in about anything from your fave class at the gym to post-baby bump patrol to your go-to healthy dinner to make when you don’t want to cook.

Go on...brag! And don't be scared...I'm only 5'10". And a half.

To fast or not to fast?

Today is Yom Kippur, the holiest day in the Jewish religion. It's like our version of weekly Confession, all rolled up into one long 24-hour period of reflection, asking forgiveness and, in true Jewish form, punishing ourselves via food. As in, we don't eat. Well, many Jews don't eat - I just washed down some Fage yogurt and honey with three hardboiled egg whites. But I am not built for fasting (emotionally speaking). In fact, the only time I ever successfully fasted was during my freshman year of college, and really, why was that day different than any other day? I was already in starvation mode, so I thought nothing of waking up, running, then hitting campus for a full day of classes armed with a mug of water (this was pre-bottled water. Now I feel old.) I remember feeling extremely virtuous.

My grandma fasts from sunset (last night) to sunset (tonight) and she goes full-throttle...no food and very little water. But she's a 60-years-plus Sunday school teacher and temple founder and more observant in certain capacities than I am. For women and men like her, fasting on Yom Kippur, our Day of Atonement, is a way to enhance the self-reflection process and help lend clarity in the quest of deciding who/how they want to be in the coming year. A clean slate, if you will. (So you can imagine how crappy I felt when, on the phone with G-ma last night, as I wished her an easy fast, I was actually eating frozen Cool Whip straight from the tub.) According to a 2008 study by Ynet-Gesher (don't ask...it could mean "Corn and pink ribbon comes from cows" for all I know), 63% of Israeli Jews plan to fast this year. Here in the states, I don't know what the numbers are but I DO know that in the past, some of my Jewish girlfriends have fasted because they felt is was a sanctioned way to avoid eating for the day. A diet kick-start, essentially. To me, this is really similar to my Christian friends giving up carbohydrates and alcohol and sweets for Lent - I've flat-out heard them say, "I'm going low carb for Lent."

And check this out - more proof I'm not making this up: In 1999, The Renfrew Center (you may know of it from the documentary THIN), issued a press release, "Jewish Women Worldwide Warned of Health Risk on Upcoming High Holy Day - Rabbis and Health Experts Caution Fasting on Yom Kippur Can Harm People with Eating Disorders."

Of course, the best part about fasting/supposedly fasting is "breaking the fast" - the meal we're all salivating over at my grandparents' house in which we gorge on bagels/lox/cream cheese, smokefish (again, just don't ask), corn on the cob, jello, kugel and other assorted light-but-actually-very-heavy sorts of foods. My tummy be rumbling already.

I do want to point out that I am observant on Yom Kippur in that I attend services and absolutely DO take time to reflect on what I've done wrong in the past year - how I may have hurt others, as well as myself, and how I can improve in the coming year. I truly value this meditative time and am trying to incorporate more of it into my everyday life. I also get to dress up in high heels, which I enjoy more than I should. Truth be told, if Dan built me a Confession booth in our second bedroom, I'd hire a freelance priest and park my butt in there every freaking morning. Alas, my therapist shall do for the time being.

So tell me, no matter what religion you may be, have you ever gotten the meaning of a holiday mixed up with food? Take the survey and then leave me a comment. And Happy New Year...to everyone!

Tina Turner, cheese hands and more

1) If you heard the faint rumblings of a tonedeaf woman singing "Private Dancer" Monday night, fear not: It was me, whispering along to Tina Turner as she performed in Chicago! My mom and I went and had a ridiculous amount of fun - Tina is 68 years old and looks like this (on the right, people!) and has more energy than a toddler hopped up on Pixie Stix and Yo Gabba Gabba. True, the crowd was a veritable clusterfudge of Germans, smokers, the elderly, gay men, and many people in sequins and bad leather. But Mom and I didn't care! "Proud Mary" was on! "You're Simply the Best" was playing! That's a once-in-a-lifetime experience, people.

At one point, during the encore, she was standing in a little circular area that magically lifted out of the stage and swung out over the crowd, and she was leaning half-way over, singing upside down, then danced her way in heels, no harness, along the narrow (maybe two-feet-wide) arm of the rig. The whole time, she was rocking super short sequined dresses to show off those legs, with the exception of a Mad Max song, when she sported a crazy metallic get-up while singing next to a gargantuan behemoth of a man clad in huge, warrior-like shoulder pads and a codpiece. That's right, I said codpiece. (Click here to see sketches of her outfits.)

I must add that I was more-that-slightly obsessed with one of the backup dancers, an Amazonian blonde named Ferley. I swear, she was 6'2" with the wingspan of a pterodactyl (Who knew that word started with a P? Thanks, Microsoft Thesaurus feature!), and I could not keep my eyes off of her. That's my dream - to perform in front of millions in tiny little sparkly gold hot pants and high heels. I mean it. Shaking my booty to the Pointer Sisters' "Neutron Dance" at age nine gave me my first taste and I've been hungry ever since..

2) I took public transportation to the concert and my curiosity was piqued by a US Cellular ad asking "Would you rather...Have lips made of chocolate or hands made of cheese?" Let's create a Pro/Con list, shall we?

Lips Made of Chocolate
Pros: Instant PMS help; No need to purchase Lip Smackers from Target anymore; So long as it's DARK chocolate, you've just become an antioxidant powerhouse; Everyone will want to kiss you
Cons: Weight gain; Not everyone looks good in brown lipstick; Summertime face-melting; Everyone will want to kiss you

Hands Made of Cheese
Pros: No problems meeting your RDA of calcium; Just add crackers and you're a party-on-the-move!
Cons: Friends will start inviting you over purely for your nacho-enhancing abilities; Smelly; You'll attract mice and other assorted vermin; Strong probability of earning nickname "Cheese Hands"

Which would you choose?

3) Dan and I bought a new car! The Honda CR-V. Please note that I have not owned a new automobile since 1998 and have been driving that red Mercury Cougar into the ground ever since. The bumper was literally pasted on with plaster and the key was stuck in the ignition for - I kid you not - four years. And no one ever tried to steal it. Anyhow, we grabbed two Hefty bags to fill with garbage from the old car and among the various Britney VHS tapes, crusty black tank tops and hard-copy manuscript of Locker Room Diaries I found in the trunk, you will NEVER, EVER guess what I came upon.

Go on, guess.

Hint: It's a meat product.

It was extremely old.

It was packaged ham. With an expiration date of JUNE 2008 so who the hell knows when I actually bought it (that crap has so many preservatives in it, the exp. dates are usually months away). My meat product must've fallen out of a grocery bag and sat in that trunk, baking in the Midwestern sun all summer. And you know what? It was perfectly preserved. No mold, no odor. Just ham. I shall never purchase said product again.

4) Lastly, I've decided to start posting especially hilarious or ridiculous press releases that find their way into my in-box - some of this stuff is just too good not to share. For example, I opened the following yesterday:

Hi Leslie,

Have you ever complained about having to use a condom? Too tight. Too loose. Sensation-robbing. Sound familiar?

Note to LifeStyles: I AM NOT A MAN. But if I were, yes, I'm sure I would have experience with it being too tight.

Besides, don't they know that as long as the guy says he loves you, you can't get pregnant? Sheesh! I learned that in, like, fourth grade.

Have a wonderful, cheesy hands, petrified ham kind of day everyone!

PS For those of you who didn't get my Yo Gabba Gabba refence, you must watch this...not even Tina can sing "There's a Party in my Tummy" like this guy:

Jillian Michaels giggles.

...and I am here to whup your ass. You're welcome.

Last week, I told you about an upcoming interview with the fiery, passionate, bounce-a-quarter-off-her-butt specimen that is Jillian Michaels. I asked for questions and they poured in. Your inquiries were inspiring, and proof that many of you truly want to make a change for the better in your lives. But sometimes it's not as easy as simply tossing the TV remote in the garbage disposal and churning out a 10K. We need motivation. We need mentoring. We need Jillian Michaels.

My Monday afternoon interview with her was - I swear - Absolutely. Freaking. Delightful. Listening to her talk is not in any way the same as watching her on Season One of Biggest Loser. I was expecting a woman who forces people to Ellipticize themselves to the point of puking; who hops on the backs of overweight men and makes them carry her around like a human backpack. Jillian may very well do those things on camera, but in real life, it was like talking with a girlfriend. She giggles. She pokes fun at herself. She - I'm not making this up - quotes Madeline Albright. (When discussing the importance of women lifting each other up, she referenced Albright, who famously declared, "I think there is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women.") We also discussed girl crushes, as many of you professed undying love for Miss Michaels in the previous post. And yes, I asked who who hers is. You'll have to read on to find out.

"Have you ever struggled with your weight? How did you make the decision to change?" - Chloe

"Absolutely. I was an overweight teenager, from childhood into my early teen years, about age 14. My mother had the insight to get me into martial arts. That was the catalyst for me to make that transformation into health and wellness, using it as a means to change my life. But it’s consistently a struggle and I’m sure it will be until the day I die. Every day you wake up and you make a commitment: Are you going to be self-destructive or are you going to commit yourself to positive change? "

(I added in a question about how martial arts influenced her workout philosophy): “Martial arts was really the beginning for me of core training. Also, martial arts helped me understand the importance of intensity in my training – of focus, discipline, using my body weight as resistance like push-ups, pull-ups, squats. Intervals, bursts of energy. The ability to overcome pain. It’s pretty much the foundation of my [fitness philosophy.] On Biggest Loser, I mix it up for them- everything from spinning to yoga. They’re working out six days a week for five months at a time, so you gotta keep it fresh for them. So I do a lot of martial arts with the contestants - it helps them get out their aggression.”

"When you're short on time in the gym, what are your go-to moves? How much time is enough spent on cardio, and what is a good ratio of cardio vs. strength training?" - Meg

“I always like to use moves that I call hybrid or combination lifts, which work multiple muscle groups at am time. A lunge with a bicep curl. Or rows in a plank position. A squat and a press. Anything with upper and lower body in it is a great way to go.

Cardio is the bread and butter of weight loss. You could do hours upon hours – we have contestants that do four hours a day of cardio. But I never let them do more than four hours of strength a week. That would be overtraining – your muscles never have a chance to heal. I would say no more four to five hours of resistance training a week. Two times a week is ideal [for a single muscle group.] If you don’t have weight to lose, make sure you’re balancing out your cardio with calories (if someone told me she was doing two hours of cardio a day, I’d say make sure you’re taking in an extra 500 calories.) But if you have a lot of weigh to lose, you can do as much cardio as you want. It’s not realistic at all, but it is possible.”

Me: If you only had 30 minutes to workout, would you do cardio or strength? “Both! It’s called circuit training. You’re heart rate is constantly elevated, so you can do both cardio and strength and get the benefits. It’s an ideal weight to burn fat, shed weight and tone your muscles all at the same time.”

"I'd like to know what is the worst workout Jillian has ever tried and what is her new fave? How often does she change things up?" - Charlotte

"This is going to sound really terrible but anything like, “Eight minutes in the morning” – that kind of false message. Those 10-minute workouts…anything that promises you a workout in less than 10 minutes is a crock of you-know-what. Personally, I’m bored to tears with Pilates but people love it. If don’t have weight to lose, it’s great for flexibility and core strength and rehabilitation. But I want to get the most bang out of my buck when I hit the gym – I want to burn calories.”

Me: What about 30 minutes broken up into three, 10-minute sessions? “It’s advantageous to do the 30 minutes all at once. You’re mobilizing more fat stores. But 10 minutes, three times throughout the day is better than nothing. But if you think doing eight minutes in the morning means you’ve worked out, that’s hysterical. The average person, if they’re lucky, burns 10 calories a minute. That’s 80 calories. That’s a glass of skim milk.”

Keep reading more after the jump...

PS Jillian was at our iVillage offices today as part of her Oral-B tour and answered a whole bunch of other questions – from lower tummy- and triceps-toning exercises (asked by Marie F and Kima) to avoiding junk food (Betty) to escaping a “fat kid” mentality leftover from childhood (thanks, Elizabeth!) We’ve got all of her answers videotaped and will be posting them week-by-week – I’ll keep you posted as to where to go for this fab expert info. Debi, Bette, Bdaiss, Farrah, Dee, Charlotte, Muriel, Joseph, Julie, Sally, Sharon, Crystal and Renee: Your Qs were picked, too!

Janice Dickinson: Plus-sized models in da house?

Working as a writer has many perks: I can workout in the morning one day and go for a long afternoon walk the next. Companies like Edible Arrangements and adidas send me swag to review - the likes of which, left to my own financial devices, I would be far too stingy to shell out dough for. It causes unbearable neck painIt's challenging. And while I don't lounge around in my undies, chain-smoking cigs and banging out bon mots while lying in the boudoir a la Carrie on SATC, I have been known to conduct an interview or 20 in polka dot flannel pajamas.

This weekend's perk: I got a sneak peak at Tuesday's episode of the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. Now, I *heart* this show and have a strange fascination with Janice. Some of the stuff that flies out of her mouth stuns me (and I've been assigned the task of trying out Karma Sutra positions that would make Pammie Anderson blush - another perk of being a writer - so not much stuns me) but one thing I've gotta say is, she makes no apologies for herself and stands behind who she is. So love her or hate her, I feel like you can at least respect her for not pulling any punches.

Which brings me to Tuesday's episode, which centers around bringing plus-size models into the agency to please costume company Seven 'til Midnight (Careful: Potentially NSFW. Unless you're a writer like me in which case, Who wants to be a Sexy Pirate for Halloween?!)

Previously, Janice has made no bones about only wanting skinny, high-fashion models in her agency. She constantly refers to the gorgeous Xian as being heavy and once forced Traci to squeeze into her (Janice's) pencil skirt to prove she wasn't fat.

Note: These two women are nowhere near overweight. But in the bizarro world of modeling, where I myself would need to shed 25 pounds to fall below the catwalk BMI cutoff, that's the way the low-carb cookie crumbles.

But Janice outdoes herself in this episode. Oxygen has been kind enough to provide us y'all with an exclusive clip of the episode...check it out:

In other parts of the episode, she actually "uchs" at the thought of having plus-sized models, covering her eyes as if the mere idea were slasher-pic scary. "I have a difficult time with plus-sized because I'm constantly trying to get my models to lose weight," she says. In the clip above, she declares, "Let it be known I am not into fat" and compares the Size 14 model in a cop outfit to "bad porn."

I'll let you be the judge once you watch on Tuesday but for now, I think it'd be interesting to hear your thoughts about the inclusion of these models...not only in Janice's agency, but into the mainstream as well. Torrid offers funky clothes in up to a 4X. One of the rappers from Naughty By Nature is launching Ladies First, a new clothing line of junior plus for girls with junk in the trunk. Whitney won ANTM last season and she's "plus-sized." Then again, I also just read a quote from Whitney in Allure Magazine in which she said she fits into anything from a Size 6 to a Size 14. (Which makes me plus-sized, too!)

It seems women with curves are finally being given the attention they deserve. But at what cost? Janice admits she's letting plus-sized models in purely for financial reasons - they generate revenue, duh, because the "average" woman wants to see clothes on ladies that aren't hangers. Does that mean the models are being exploited? After all, they are rather ruthlessly treated by Janice and certain thin models while in the agency. Then again, they're making money and a name for themselves. And on the Tyra tip, ANTM crowned a "plus" girl as Queen...but she's not really all that plus. New media may be rolling out the plus-sized red carpet, but this plus-size is actually normal. Will that make the actual plus-sized women of the world feel worse about themselves? What's next...are modeling agencies and clothing companies going to start featuring ''Utlra Plus' divisions where women are just Size 16?

Tell me! Get feisty!

Then tune in to Oxygen on Tuesday at 10/9C, and come on back to tell me more.