You Guys RULE! -- Our One Week Anniversary!

Ok, so I might have stated this in my very first post - this whole blog world is a bit new to me...but I must tell you - I LOVE IT so far! Your kind, funny, and thoughtful posts are really making this a most enjoyable process...so thank you! And please...keep writing!

I wanted share some thoughts that are inspired by some of what's been posted...

The iLose It For Good Community Challenge - from what I can tell we have 13 signed up so far and I promised if we can get 20 - I am joining in and taking a taste of my own medicine...I have no doubt you will hold me to my promise!
If you want to enroll in the challenge and truly begin changing your life from the inside out go to: http://diet.ivillage.com/plans/ilose/0,,9wjzpfjm,00.html

And I want us to think about this... a lot of people may look at the challenge as a way to just drop some weight. I'd like to offer up something deeper...it's important that when we try to shift our body shape and size that we do so lovingly and with as much grace as we can muster.

I think all of us have been on diets before where we jump in with a vigorous and punishing attitude and when we falter a slight bit in our 'plan' we berate ourselves mercilessly or give up on ourselves completely. Yes, you may be holding on to some extra weight. And yes, you may be frustrated with how that makes you feel but could we also look at this challenge as an opportunity to change our bodies (inside and out) differently than we have before?

Can we look at this challenge as a way to get to know ourselves better? To explore our 'bad habits' and to gently talk to the negative voice in your head that doesn't know how to turn off the overeating or self-loathing? Can we use this challenge to help us gain confidence in our goal setting skills? Can we support each other to not speak so horrendously about our bodies once we've had a child and instead really challenge each other to look at the bigger pictures in our lives so that we don't lose focus on our blessings and gifts?

That's the kind of challenge I'd like to see. There are enough diets and weight loss plans out there in the world that tell you the quickest and 'easiest' way to lose weight. I am more interested in changing the mind sets, beliefs, and patterns that hold us in a thought that our lives will suddenly begin 5 pounds from now. That allows us to believe that thinness is a pre-requisite for happiness.

Our lives are now. Not 5, 10, or 50 pounds from now.

And lastly, I wanted to share with you this killer quote that will become my mantra throughout the challenge:

" Forget the clock and take the compass. The direction you are headed is more important than the time it takes to get there."

Love,
Jess

Where Everybody Knows Your Name...

There is something quite magical about going to your local diner or restaurant and being greeted by familar faces.
I have a diner around the corner from where I live called Factors and on some mornings it feels like my neighborhood has jumped into my kitchen. There is Tom, our local city council member who always has something to say about how runny the eggs are and how he one day plans to run for president. (He is 76 by the way). Then there is my recovering alcoholic server friend, Neil, who checks in with me on his sobriety process every time I see him. (He has been sober 3 years now) And then Lisa, who can't wait to get out of this diner, (and finish her screenplay) who greets me with a glass of fresh OJ and always inquires about my book sales.

Maybe this doesn't sound new to those of you who live in rural communities or small towns. But I live in LA - where you don't have to interact with another human being all day long if you don't want to - because you are stuck in your cars and cursing the very existence of that stranger trying to change lanes without a signal. I relish the fact that in this god forsaken town of body obsessed and beauty fanatical people - that I can slip into the corner booth at Factors (no make up, no bra even!) and just enjoy my juice and runny eggs.

Baby Weight

I am sure this will become an ongoing conversation on this blog...but today my friend Jeanine called me in tears because she just had twin boys a month ago and she hasn't lost her 'baby weight' yet. I wanted to reach through the phone and shake her awake....she had such a hard time conceiving these beautiful boys, had a hard pregnancy and was on bed rest for a while and yet here she is only one month after giving birth and her focus and attention (to me) was in all the wrong places.

She said she had just seen some stupid special about Britany Spears and how much her body has changed since having her baby and she was actually comparing herself to this Hollywood train wreck. Forgetting completely that she (Jeanine) used to work in PR and knows dang well that these starlets take weight loss pills, hire fancy trainers, have chefs, and most times resort to incredibly obsessive work out routines and restrictions to drop their post baby weight. She eventually copped to remembering that Hollywood was a fantasty town and the pressure placed on women's bodies here was obscene and often times cruel.

It just killed me to hear my beautiful friend who worked so hard to give birth to her babies - lament over her mishapen body that oh, by the way, just performed a MIRACLE!!

It's sad to me that we forget how forgiving our bodies are - healing when we are sick - allowing us to carry a human being inside for 9 months, etc. I wonder if the obsession with losing the weight is really just a misplaced control issue because something super scary and new has happened in her life and she can't quite wrap her arms around it all - but one fall back she can employ is the universal obsession women share in hating their bodies.

I know she is hormonal and worried and overwhelmed right now. I get it. And trust me, I am venting more here to you guys than I was with her on the phone. But even though I do this for a living, sometimes, it just trips me out when it hits close to home and my delicious friends and family forget just how precious they are. And just how precious life is. Being a mother is a great grace and gift.

If only the world valued that process more...

More Today...

My friend Tamara just sent me the funniest picture! It's of her family right after their Thanksgiving meal and they are all lying on the couch (her mother, father, and brother) with their pants unzipped and their hands on their bellies. All around them are trashed plates of Thanksgiving remains. This is what my friend wrote:

"Every year we tell ourselves we won't overeat and every year we end up on the couch with a big bellyache!"

As many of you know - I just did an appearance on the Today Show about the pitfalls of overeating during the holidays. In case you missed it check it out at:

http://ivillage.feedroom.com?fr_story=bbfa1322e1a903ebc68ac5e59816da7608dc9dc1.

Is overeating during the holidays - especially Thanksgiving - just something we should come to expect? What tricks or tips worked for you guys on Turkey day? How can we make sure we don't end up with belly aches on Christmas, too?

If you are still nursing a full belly hang over from the holidays - stress no more! You can sign up to take part in our iLose It For Good Community Challenge. I am excited about this challenge because it is going to be addressing a lifestyle/body change from the inside out.

In addition to being the self-esteem coach for the challenge - I am also thinking about being a participant! Would you join me? If I can get at least 20 people on this site to pledge to do the challenge, I will do it along with you and take a taste of my own medicine (ouch!) :)

Could be fun - what do you say???

The Perfect Sunday

It's 2:30 in the afternoon in LA and I am still in my pajamas.
Just watched "In Her Shoes" and "Shopgirl" back to back.
Cooked up a big bowl of Chili and ate it in bed while I watched my onscreen heroines move through their growing pains and self-discoveries. It's the kind of Sunday I dream about when things are work get really busy or tense.
And I am enjoying every single second of it.

My daydreams are leading the way today, trying to turn off 'writer' brain and just allow my thoughts to drift and be...
I am a single woman in search of great love and romance...so I am going to seek out a cheesy romantic movie on cable and dive right in. Just to finish the cliche', I may even eat some ice cream in my bathrobe! :)

What a perfect Sunday.

Enjoy your weekend...

"FOR THE SLIM AND SHORT"

So - check this out...

Last night as I mentioned, my sister and I went to the Dixie Chicks concert here in LA.
We made reservations for dinner at a restaurant called The Pacific Dining Car in downtown LA near the concernt venue. We were excited to go because we had heard great things about this place AND they offered a free shuttle to the concert so we didn't have to worry about parking. (bonus!)

When we arrived the place was virtually empty minus a few tables of early bird diners. It had an old school steakhouse vibe - we were stoked. A man went to seat us and lead us to a table in the middle of the dining room. I asked if he had a booth available. And he said:

"You don't want to sit in the booths. They are uncomfortable. Because they are primarily for the slim and the short."

I looked at him and he could tell I understood his subtext. His eyes got wider and he tried to make it better by pointing to himself and saying "I am not slim nor short so I don't sit at the booths, either."

I was silent as he continued to dig himself a hole.

"The cushions on the back of the booths were reupholstered so that they don't give much room between the back of the booth and the table."

Seriously? Is he still continuing?

He was offering us this lecture at the top of his lungs in front of other diners and the two couples already seated at the booths were staring.

"FINE" I managed to muster under my breath as I grabbed the back of the chair to sit down at the table. I felt scolded, shamed, and reprimanded and all I wanted was a FRICKIN booth.

My sister didn't know right away how to process what just happened. All of sudden we both felt incredibly uncomfortable and found ourselves eye balling the booths. The men sitting in the booths had bellies - all of them. And they didn't seem uncomfortable or inconvenienced by the new upholstery.

I opened the menu and wanted my feeling of disgust to go away. It didn't. I couldn't help but have that conversation ring in my head. Did he just exercise sizism on me? I wanted to find a way out of feeling aware. Obviously in what I do - I have a heightened sense of these things so I spent a few minutes trying to talk myself out of what I was feeling.

Couldn't do it.

As I processed with my sister we both decided I wasn't crazy - we did hear and felt what we heard and felt - and decided to leave. I didn't want to patronize a restaurant where they wouldn't let me sit where I desired. I think it was his job to seat us at a booth and let us decide if we are uncomfortable and want to move. He asserted his opinion that we were neither "slim nor short" - and I didn't have to accept that.

We got up and asked for a manager.

The man who sat us was the manager. Holy cow. So I said to him:

"Sir, you have offended us. Your comment as to why you wouldn't seat us in a booth is ridiculous and insulting"

He wasn't surprised - he knew exactly what he was doing.

He said "I am sorry. I just thought you'd be more comfortable at a table."

I said "I didn't ask for a table. Did you make the same lecture to the people you sat at the booths?"

He replied "No, they seem considerably smaller to me."

HA! There you have it. He said it. He was being sizeist. And now I didn't have to beat myself up for feeling what I felt. My gut never lies.

I said "Well, that is disgusting for you to discriminate like that. And for that we won't be patronizing your restaurant and I will make sure to tell everyone I know not to as well."

We turned and walked out. Drove to the concert venue - found a lovely new place to eat and attempted to put this akward moment behind us.

Truth is, to a less trained or aware ear, his comments could have just lodged themselves in the general data base of self-loathing, non-acceptance, discrimination that most people feel about their bodies. I did go through my own process of thinking "am I THAT big that he had to say that?" or the "why me?" thoughts poured through me. And then I stopped myself. It wasn't for me to figure out. It was his ignorance, his issue not mine. And I took the action I could - which was to remove myself and speak up.

Was it comfortable? No. Did I want to do it? No. Did I have to do it? Yes.

I have come too far in my own self-love and recovery to not call something as I see it.
As I feel it.
And raise my voice.

Shut Up and Sing

Just got back from seeing the Dixie Chicks' documentary: Shut Up and Sing -- and I am blown away!
I have been a huge Chicks fan for a while now - and of course I have followed their recent media exposure after they made a comment about Bush back in 2003 before the war began. And if you have never really wrapped your arms around what went on with that whole scenario, I highly recommend this movie as it tells a very interesting behind the scenes story about courage, sisterhood, and strength.

No matter what your politics or personal leanings may be about the Chicks, it did make me want to share a few thoughts about how this film and it's subject matter really resonates in my life and our body image/self-image.

The Chicks to me are real women. Flawed, imperfect, vulnerable, and super ass talented. They look like girls you grew up with or friends you share coffee with each Sunday afternoon. They are wives, mothers, sisters, and friends. Throughout the whole ordeal they didn't turn on each other - they stuck in there and allowed themselves to feel angry, hated, violated, frustrated, envied, ridiculed, and uncertain. And although I am fairly sure there were a lot more tears shed than the ones I saw in the movie, you rarely saw them break down and hide from all that went on - instead they smiled, they laughed and they found the humor where they could.

That is amazing INNER STYLE to me - and something that defies conventional focus on looks and beauty. This was so beautiful to me because it was raw, fresh, and relatable. There were plenty of shots with the Chicks sans make up- bellies soft, in comfy clothes - literally letting it all hang out. You didn't see them work out obsessively or stop eating in order to control the feelings they were having. They showed them eating non-diet foods (sandwiches with white bread, etc) stuff that jars your Hollywoodized eyes and you don't realize that you have been conditioned to NOT watch women eat on TV. They had babies and allowed their bodies to be filmed while in their fullness never making apology for the state of their physical shape (as you often hear some celebs do).

Basically, without meaning to - I took away a lot of visual cues that these women really do allow themselves to be women in a world that clearly still doesn't value a woman with a voice - let alone a voice of discord or political difference. The world tried to silence these women - and right, wrong, or otherwise - they didn't let it dampen their spirits or impact their image.

There was no publicist warning them they needed a 'make over' or image overhaul. Instead, their team dealt with the harder, deeper issues of self-confidence, defiance, and strength. You imagine standing up to a huge record label like Sony, a huge industry like country radio, and huge hatred like that which was spurred their way.

I thought about all the times I get upset if someone writes in a nasty e mail to my website or dare I say it, calls me 'ugly' or 'fat'. How I want to shrivel up and die. And here I am watching three powerful women navigate through a most unexpected emotional upheaval in their lives - and do it with a majority of grace, class, and love.

I was really impressed and more so, I was grateful. We need more images of flawed, real, available women in the world - so that those of us who want to walk upstream through the mainstream- don't feel so alone.

PS I am going to their concert tonight in LA and I can't be more excited!! I'll let you know how it is....

Gobble Gobble

Hi Everyone - just wanted to pop in and say that I hope you are all enjoying your Thanksgiving and finding many things in your life to be grateful for.

I, for one, am grateful to begin this blog journey with you and already am so excited about your interaction. Let's keep connecting - whether we all agree or not - the best thing we can do is not be afraid to communicate and share our stories!

Oh and if you are interested in an update on the Thanksgiving "Weiner Style" - both Becky and I have successfully "lied down" for turkey day. We spent all day in our sweats - eating take out - and watching TV. It was gloriously uneventful and at times a bit boring (just how many Christmas commercials can one person watch, anyway?) But in the end - we loved not doing anything. What a concept!

And while we missed our family and friends - it was nice to just...be.

Have a safe holiday, everyone!

Today became tomorrow....

Hi everyone -

I just flew back to LA from NY where I was on the Today show this morning doing a segment on holiday stress and the tendency to overeat! I am exhausted...but I am also energized to see your comments and feedback - thank you!!

I had two really weird body image experiences flying home. I'll paint the pictures for you briefly. Both had to do with mothers and daughters.

On my outbound flight there was a Paris Hilton clone sitting next to me who spoke at the top of her lungs and wore those crazy Chewbacca furry boots on top of her leggings - as if we were going to Antartica- not NYC. (Is that how you spell Antartica? Why don't blogs come with spell checks?)

Anyway, when we landed she was putting on her winter coat and she said to her mother "Mom, I haven't tried on this jacket since last year it is a little tight." To which her mother replied "Why would it be tight? Haven't you lost weight?" and the daugther snapped at her mother and screamed "No Mom, I gained 500 pounds - I am big and fat - are you disappointed?" This clearly made a huge scene and I wanted to slap some sense into both of them. They continued to speak to each other in the language of fat, sniping at each other along the way - discussing how much they were going to work out and not eat before the holidays. And all I kept thinking was man, that must be a miserable and unsafe relationship to be in - always feeling scrutinized or unable to communicate without screaming to each other. Yuck.

And then on my way home tonight there were three girls and their mother traveling. The two older sisters were almost identical and had very similar body shapes - tall and lean. Their little sister had a different body type - she was shorter and rounder. The little sister asked her older sisters for some of their potato chips and the older sisters proceeded to dole out the chips to her one by one - telling he she can't eat too many or else she will get 'fat'.
They giggled as they said this as though they were enjoying this twisted body image torture. Until the little one started to cry and announced to the plane "I hate my family". To which her sisters replied "I hate my family MORE".

Happy Holidays! HA!

Comfort Food

What do you reach for when you really need to be pampered? What do you crave when you are really hurting inside or just truly need to be hugged? What comes to mind when you know you've had a bad day and just want to shut the world out and disappear for a while?

Do you ever think about where those cravings really come from? When was the first time you reached for ice cream instead of reaching out to tell someone how angry you were? Or how sad you felt? When did you shovle down chips because you were shovling down the anticipation of a blind date or new job?

As I came from my shrinky-dinks office today (my loving term for my therapist) I was thinking about all the layered comfort foods you learn as a girl in the world. From watching mom make pop corn instead of dinner after a rough day at work or watching dad sneak candy bars after he is over his 'allotted' amount for the week - where do we first learn to equate food with comfort? How about reward? Most families use food to show love, support, and connection. Is that such a bad thing? When does it go too far?

And at what point do we as adults get to heal that wounded hungry girl inside and finally feed her what she desires? Letting go of all the past cravings and allowing her to finally feel full...on life?

Clearly I am in a pondering mood today...thought I'd throw these ideas your way and see what you think.
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts...

Thanksgiving - WEINER STYLE!

Ok, I have a confession to make. (Just know I will probably do this a lot here. Blogs are so freeing!)

I am not cooking this Thanksgiving. I am not even going to be eating home cooked food.
I am in fact doing Thanksgiving “Weiner Style” which in our family means….

Ordering In.

Yup, you can revoke my Martha Stewart Home Entertainer of the Year award now.

I am ordering a prepared meal for Turkey Day and enjoying it in my PJ’s with my sister, Becky. Just the two of us, a comfy couch, and some one else’s home made mashed potatoes.

Heaven.

Am I feeling a little guilty? Yes. Slightly lame? Kinda. But the truth is – I am not big on celebrating any holiday really – I like holidays like Thanksgiving but I wasn’t brought up to traditionally celebrate…well, anything. The kinds of celebrations we had at home were more about special events at work or school, big accomplishments in our careers, or landmark birthdays (10, 16, 21) But not really Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, or New Years.

I want to have what I call those ‘catalogue holidays’ – images of freshly scrubbed, cheery people gathered around a fireplace, eating ridiculously yummy home made food, and smiling giant smiles of contentment and holiday cheer. But I’ve yet to master this scene from advertisements and magazines. I have yet to experience a cozy gathering of happy sweater clad, egg nog drinking folks. Maybe it’s because we rarely break out the sweaters here in LA. Maybe it’s because….this image is created by art directors and set designers. Or maybe it’s just because…the holidays can look like lots of different things to lots of different people.

And for me, this thanksgiving will be all about my gratitude for being able to have someone else make my dinner while I chill with my best friend and sissy. Heck, I might even eat on paper plates – just so I don’t have to do another traditional post holiday task…the dishes!

Thin

I am disturbed.
Highly disturbed.

I just finished watching photographer Lauren Greenfield’s documentary “Thin” on HBO.
This doc follows 4 women as they go through treatment at Renfrew, a facility in Florida.

You’d think having lived through eating disorders in my life; I would be used to most of what I saw. And I was. Unfortunately if you traded the images of emaciated girls in hospital gowns for Hollywood beauties in awards show gowns, you’d see the same image, really. Bones jutting, sinewy arms, strained and tired faces.

Starving, ironically, is a lot of work. And the girls in this doc were real tired of fighting this disease. They were realistically portrayed as being complex, at times conniving (you always want to out fox your therapists – it is the disease at work), and most times in desperate need of unconditional love. My heart broke many times as they cried out wishing they were ‘normal’ and not possessed by this demon that demands them to starve and cut and mutilate their bodies with aggressive self loathing.

There is no doubt I was disturbed by the images and by the quiet desperation both the patients and their care givers were feeling. However, what I was most disturbed by was the ending. I have always been a fan of Lauren’s work – her book “Girl Culture” proudly sits on my book shelf and I thumb through it now and again to gaze at her beautiful and raw portraits of girl life in this country. I find her to be soul-searching and relevant in collecting the stories of girls in our world. But Lauren let me down with the ending to “Thin.”

I thought in her attempt to be real and raw – she left out a little shred of hope. Perhaps she was exhausted from the 6 months of recording a disease that takes the lives of 20 percent of the people who struggle with it. Perhaps she was disillusioned by watching the girls take 3 steps forward in their recovery and then 10 steps back when no one was looking. I understand that. I do. Battling this addiction is not unlike any other – it is harrowing, non-sensical, and down right depressing at times.

BUT there is also a lot of hope for this addiction and disease because people DO recover. Slowly but surely I know thousands of women who have untangled the tricky web of eating disorders that held their lives hostage. It wasn’t done in TV time – but throughout a lifetime – small steps of change yielding great big results. And I missed that in Lauren’s ending.

I don’t want to ruin it for those who haven’t seen it yet – but basically – we are left at the end of “Thin” feeling that there will not be a happy ending for the girls she followed. And while I respect her right as a film maker to leave her art in the shape she desires – I wished she would have thought about the impressionable, hurting, and hungry viewers who would be watching – hoping to catch a glimpse of something outside of a world hell bent on normalizing under eating for women.

It would have been grand, in my opinion to end with a hotline number, an encouraging thought – that recovery is possible – and perhaps even a follow up story from someone who is managing to move on past this disease.

Quite frankly – we see too many doom and gloom stories about eating disorders that I am afraid it numbs us all to the possibility of recovery and hope. And in this world, as it is today – I personally think we can use as much hope as we can muster.

More Cruise Thoughts

I had a few more thoughts to share on the cruise.
(and no, I am not talking about Katie and Tom’s wedding. Congrats to them – but enough already!)

I mentioned in my last blog that I hate buffets. I feel the need to elaborate. Lest I get some angry letters from the Buffet Union or something…

Here is why I hate buffets:

- All those DATELINE specials scared the bejeezus out of me. You know the ones where they expose hidden germs from the workers or cooks who don’t wear gloves or who do nasty things like spit in your food or…(well, you get the picture). I am sure this isn’t the case for every buffet out there – but if they found it in at least one – well, that was one too many for me.

- I am not a fan of sharing my food from a trough like horses or pigs. I just feel like there should be ‘moo’ sounds coming from the throngs of people who push and shove their way down the salad bar sticking their thongs messily in the tomatoes and ending up cross contaminating them with the peas.

- Buffets can stir anxious feelings of scarcity and competition in chronic dieters or from people who came from large families. Chronic dieters and compulsive overeaters may feel that there is ‘never enough’ available for them when they have to share food and that causes the feeling of scarcity and results in piling your plate with everything you can – even dishes you’ve never heard of – or even like.

And lastly – if the buffet is a free buffet – like the ones I experienced on the cruise ship – why, oh why, do we eat more food when the food is free? Think about it. I saw families piling no less than 10 deserts on their plates at one sitting – in a frenzied rush to try all of the deserts on the buffet – because god forbid they left the nasty looking plum pudding for another night? Perhaps it is because we all love food. And we all love free things. And when those two are combined – it is dangerous – feeling we must get our share – what we are ‘owed’ – to make up for all the times we overpaid for food in pricey restaurants and ended up getting decorative orange slices for $45.

There was a frozen yogurt and ice cream machine near every buffet line near every pool and outdoor eating area on this boat and the lines to put your own ice cream in a cone were mind boggling. And I am not talking about all the 10 year olds on the boat – grown ups – especially grown ups over the age of 40 – were standing in long lines waiting for their chance to make their own sundae!

Perhaps it was because there were finally no parents around telling us what we could or couldn’t have. Perhaps it was because we always dreamed of having an ice cream machine right in front of us for our use – any time of the day – or perhaps it was because we thought we were getting all that we paid for on this boat – by using up all that they offered to us. Even if that meant eating 4 ice cream cones a day.

Is it possible to refrain from overindulging when free food is around? What does it stir inside of you when all ‘rules’ disappear and you can have as much (and as many kinds) of food as you desire?

When we are at events or dinner parties and there is free food – how many of us are guilty of packing in our purses some extra pigs in blankets? Odds are - we’d cram in the spicy meatballs, too, if they weren’t so messy!

Fabulous Figures At Sea

I just spent 7 days on a cruise to the Western Caribbean, Central America, and the Bahamas. It would sound super luxurious except for one small fact: I HATE BOATS!

Ok, maybe hate is a strong word. How about – I am not a fan of sea sickness. Or giant floating casinos and buffets. That’s what a cruise is really, one floating hotel on water.

However, I brought my entire family with me (made them go, actually) and sucked up my fear of buffet lines and smoke filled gambling rooms – all for a GREAT reason. I was doing a week of speaking events for a special event on the boat called “Figure At Sea”.

“Figure At Sea” was a promotional cruise on Carnival Cruise Ships and sponsored by Figure Magazine, the only fashion magazine dedicated to full figured women. There were about 300 women from all over the country who came on this cruise with their families, spouses, and children. The goal of the cruise was to allow these women to embrace and enjoy their bodies with like minded souls and take the emphasis off of body size or shape and put it on self esteem, healthy attitudes and Inner Style, a program I have created that is all about defining the core characteristics that make you…you!

Sense of humor, resiliency, courage, strength…these attributes are just as important as thin thighs and toned arms. Yet we often forget that in our quest for the fit outside body we have to also make sure we are firming up our insides, too.

One of the highlights of this cruise was a fashion show that the women participated in – about 70 women strutted their stuff in front of an entire ship (about 3000 people!) and all of them – every single one of them looked proud and empowered when they took the stage. The women that participated were all ages and all sizes. In fact, when a bunch of ‘plus size’ girls get together – you are amazed at how NORMAL most of them look. We think sometimes that plus size means huge or gigantic or unimaginably large.

But truly – these women were stunning and average and representative of real women from every state in this country. You forget that living on the coasts like LA and NY that not everyone out there is a super tall, abnormally thin woman (go figure!).

I was amazed and inspired by the women I met. All of them look like gorgeous people you’d come across in your everyday lives. They were mothers, sisters, girlfriends, and best friends and all of them connected through the desire to finally feel at home in the skin they were in. For at least one week out of their lives…mission accomplished!

And ask yourself this: would you have the courage to strut your stuff on a runway in front of 3,000 people??

The Daily Dance

Hey Everyone…welcome to The Weighting Game with Jess.
I am excited to have this opportunity to connect with you about two very important things:

WEIGHT and WAITING

The first one is obvious. I don’t know a woman alive who isn’t concerned, confused, or obsessed with her weight. It seems the number on the scale has taken on a value of epic proportions in our lives – it equals our self worth, it invalidates our loving relationships, and it often times holds us back from living the life we truly desire. However, I must share right off the bat – that I am not a huge fan of diets. This makes my placement on this particular site, interesting. I think dieting in it’s traditional and media saturated way really causes women to become more disconnected from their true hunger and their true sense of self-worth.

Diets that cause you to restrict your lifestyle to the point where you can’t communicate or enjoy normal, everyday activities seems pointless to me. And yet, everywhere you turn someone out there is trying to sell you the latest quick fix diet that will yield you happiness. I don’t buy it. And here’s why: I am a veteran of dieting. For all the time I have spent starving, wishing, hoping, and praying for a different body – I should have a PhD in dieting. Instead, what I had was a long and painful journey into the worlds of all three eating disorders: Anorexia, Bulimia, and Binge Eating Disorder.

Now, 16 years of recovery later (WOO HOO) I am here to be a conduit for discussing what is really going on behind our weight and body image issues. Because it is not about the food, the fat, or the weight. It is about the emotions, experiences, and feelings. And through this blog, I hope to explore the daily dance that women do with their bodies, weight, food, family, relationships, career, and LIFE.

In order to really get to the root of your own inner happiness and eventually an outer body to match – you have to be willing to tackle the question: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Are you waiting to be thinner, prettier, richer, or better dressed before you jump into your life? Are you waiting to lose those last elusive 5 pounds before you truly accept yourself and all of your accomplishments? Are you allowing past relationships, past hurts, and unfulfilled dreams to hold you back from being present in your life today? What is stopping you from owning and taking care of your total health – mind, body, and soul?

I have spent the past 16 years of my life asking myself these questions. I’ve even made a career out of it. You might have seen me on the Today Show. Or Oprah. Or CNN. I have written two books (Do I Look Fat In This and A Very Hungry Girl) and speak world wide encouraging women everywhere to develop a stronger sense of self-esteem.

But the truth is – I am a participant of this daily dance as well. I am still a woman in progress – searching for the answers. I’ll have the courage to write about my journey and share it with you and I hope you’ll do the same.

Come on, what are we waiting for??