Comfort Food

What do you reach for when you really need to be pampered? What do you crave when you are really hurting inside or just truly need to be hugged? What comes to mind when you know you've had a bad day and just want to shut the world out and disappear for a while?

Do you ever think about where those cravings really come from? When was the first time you reached for ice cream instead of reaching out to tell someone how angry you were? Or how sad you felt? When did you shovle down chips because you were shovling down the anticipation of a blind date or new job?

As I came from my shrinky-dinks office today (my loving term for my therapist) I was thinking about all the layered comfort foods you learn as a girl in the world. From watching mom make pop corn instead of dinner after a rough day at work or watching dad sneak candy bars after he is over his 'allotted' amount for the week - where do we first learn to equate food with comfort? How about reward? Most families use food to show love, support, and connection. Is that such a bad thing? When does it go too far?

And at what point do we as adults get to heal that wounded hungry girl inside and finally feed her what she desires? Letting go of all the past cravings and allowing her to finally feel full...on life?

Clearly I am in a pondering mood today...thought I'd throw these ideas your way and see what you think.
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts...

Comments

Wow, self loathing much?

I think these questions are rhetorial and reflective.

I for one have thought a lot lately about all the messages about food that I got from my parents - my mom was a big 'no carbs' woman her whole life and treated them like they were the enemy. Food then became my enemy and it is just now as an adult that I am feeling more secure in making decisions about feeding myself that aren't about pleasing my mother or anyone for that matter.

I am looking forward to more postings, Jess, keep up the good questions!

I never really turn to food when I'm emotional, like angry or sad. I tend to binge when I'm bored.
I just saw you on the Tyra Show. You're really an awesome woman! I want to be a dietitian and you are quite an inspiration.

I binge when i'm bored also, it is kind of like mindless eating. I need to find a way to slow down and think when im eating at night.

Like most American families, mine too celebrates so many things with food. Now as a mother of 3 boys, I'm finding myself questioning what message I'm sending my boys by rewarding them with ice cream or focusing a birthday around a meal. Especially with the holidays here, I'm trying to make a conscious effort to focus my attention on the time that I'm blessed with to enjoy my family instead of focusing all of my energy on the preparation and celebration of the actual food/meals. Explaining the value of gratitude for all we have been blessed with will hopefully allow my boys to understand that food only nourishes us physically, but the emotional connection we have with the loved ones around us is what truly "fills" us up during this special time of year. Food can and should be enjoyed. However, why not use the energy we usually waste on worrying about how much or how little we're consuming to sit and talk and enjoy eat other for who we are and all we've been blessed with!

Jess,
This is a wonderful addition to your book, your media appearances and your
e-mails. You walk the talk, and I love it. I'm a Weiner groupie!

Thanks.

I think food is the easiest 'treat' to give a child - looking back, if i was acting up in a supermarket then my mum would give me a lolly-pop to keep me quiet, and i now do the same with my own children. Why as parents do we give children food/sweets as a reward for good behaviour-surely this is just confusing their natural hunger desires?
(I'm going to break the chain!)

I eat Dorito's when I am bored also, I don't know that I look for food when I am angry, but maybe when I am feeling lonely. I don't know why we do that either. Maybe we need to just find something to do when we are bored that is away from the kitchen!!

I eat when I want to be in control of something. Whether it be something that happened at work or in my personal life. My mother always mentioned my weight, mind you I never had a bad problem until 10 yrs ago, if I was up 5 pds she would say something down 5 lbs same thing. I think I put on alot of weight as a way to be in control and not live as she wanted me to. But any way I'm getting in control but I still eat when I feel I need to control.

I always eat when I'm depressed. It's something that, because I'm aware of it, when I lose control I feel worse about. All I can do is try to be more positive and handle what is upsetting me instead of turning to foods for the answer. You are an inspiration and I love your viewpoints.

Hello,
At a young age I began to eat because I was bored and felt loney the majorty of the time. My mother worked 12 hour days and my two older sisters did not have the time to spend with me so I turned to eating. I know what it is to eat for comfort. I have found that I still do it at times. I spent my life battleing my weight and now that I have quit smoking it is even worse. Instead of smoking I have been snaking.I gained 50lbs since and did not even relise it until I put on my fat jeans and they were tight. So now I need to find my self disapline and get my butt moving.

I don't think I would consider myself an emotional eatter, I don't think I necessarily eat when I am angry, or sad, or bored. I think once I start eatting something - I can't stop. Like why bother eatting one chip - because that will lead to me eatting the whole bag! and I don't even like chips. Same with Ice Cream or cookies... I can't have one.

Well, once when I was younger I was sick and a friend got me some mashed potatoes with gravy. It made my day so much better, so now when I need a comfort food, you bet I'll go for the potatoes. It's all about past experinces, and the connotations associated with foods and how they made you feel. In this case, positive. Once I ate a chili dog, got sick, AND had to dump out the left over chili the next day, and got sick again. Think I'll ever eat a chili dog again? Hell no.

By the way, food is an object that your body needs when it needs it. That's that. So why does that bag of chips sitting on the counter look so good after dinner? Another reason to just LOVE being a woman. We can't control it!

Just the other day I went grocery shopping after I had a sob fest over a relationship issue with my boyfriend. Bad idea.
Everything I bought was crap. I crave salt and cheese when I'm down - frozen pizza, mac & cheese, cheesy chips. And coke...
I don't binge on food - I just make bad food choices.

The diet does not lead to health and cannot result in it because at present there is no still a worthy not medicamentous program on loss of weight. WBR LeoP