Happy Binge

My sweet, sweet girlfriend, Joanna called me tonight in half tears/half giggles. She had a beautiful day at work - everything seemed to go her way. A big project she was pitching was accepted and she is beginning to fall in love with a sweet new man in her life. Her mother, who has always been on her back about her lifestyle choices (not enough money, needs to buy a house, etc) even seemed to be more accepting towards her today.

So in all this celebration, acceptance, and love, Joanna decided to do one thing she was familiar with.

Eat.

She came home from work with her mind all pumped up from the day's activities and she reached for a bag of chips. Not having any in the house, she grabbed her keys and found herself at a store and quickly stocking up on her junk food of choice. She ate and ate in the car until she came home with a belly ache.

By the time she called me - her half tears/half giggles had really taken over. "How can I do this to myself?" she said.
"I didn't even have a bad day - I had a GOOD day and I still binged."

I just sat in silence, completely relating to her struggle and I said "Jo, sometimes a binge can be happy."
We both burst out laughing because it wasn't exaclty how I intended to say it - I meant to say you can eat over ANY emotion even a happy one. But the thought of a binge having an emotion like happiness just made us both laugh harder.

We both talked about how easy it is to just eat over anything because we are out of practice just feeling an emotion and allowing ourselves to really just feel - joy, celebration, contentment, pride, satisfaction, happiness. We rush to the next food fix because it is comforting, numbing, and takes us away from feeling.

Talking about it seemed to help Jo. So today if you find yourself eating over happy (or sad) feelings - just stop, take a deep pause, forgive yourself, and share your feeling with someone instead.

We are allowed to feel happy.

xoxox
Jess

PS Have a great and rewarding weekend, everyone. Keep posting, keep sharing, keep learning....

Comments

Jess your words keep me going. And your stories warm my heart. I know all too well a 'happy binge'. It happens when you lease expect it. But if we aren't aware of why we are eating everything we eat then we can just steamroll our feelings iwth food.

By the way, I saw you on CNN last night. You were marvelous!!!

Yeah. I know the binge thing. Mine tends to be with Doritos. Not sure why, but I always want the entire bag. So I don't buy them. My fiance is NOT allowed to buy them, unless we're having a LOT of people over...and then he has to buy them on the day.

Today has been good. I went to the gym and did 1/2 hour cardio. And I haven't over eaten. So far, so good.

One thing I just trained myself to do is reward myself with at home spa treatments. For $10 I can get a bag of mineral salts with oils from Whole Foods. They are pure, relax you, give you aromatherapy, and draw toxins out of the system.

ukyankee- both you and feefee are in the same timezone, so make sure to ping her in our team.

Day 3 now and we are going strong, we were chatting into the night last night. This first weekend is critical- dieting on weekends is hard!!

There are 38 of us now, new members are welcome:

http://www.peertrainer.com/TeamDetails.aspx?GroupID=16309

Good Morning Sweet Sisters! I have been reading all of the messages from Jess and our responses and although a few tears did fall, I am totally inspired. Thank you ivillage for putting this program together! I would love to know how I can chat online as I have never joined a blog. What is the URL requested in the "Post a comment" area that I am currently in?
Peace,
Vee

Thank you Jess,u rock girl. I have really been examining myself. It seems I am great in procrastination, I have good intentions, but do not follow through with many. Does it make me a horrible person? No, but it does make me have a negative opinion of myself. I will have the good intentions of going to the gym everyday, or running a paticular errand, or many others, and I seem to put them off for one more day. When I say I am going to do something, and then I do not, it makes me feel like a failure. I even find myself disliking myself, and feeling very weak. Now that I am reconizing this about myself, and having been reading and chatting with self esteem Princess Jess, I am realizing that I should not worry about the week, but just for the day, babysteps, one foot in front the other, moment by moment, as Jess says, life doesn't start 5lbs from here, or after I get to the perfect size, I think I should be, after I meet the right guy, get rich, etc its right here and now, minute to minute,Carpe Diem,seizing the day

The celebrations are hard! I have a big family and everyone has kids, so there are endless birthday parties, baptisms, weddings. And there is always the excuse that "it's a special occasion". In my family people are offended if you don't stuff yourself and compliment them on every single dish at a party. So I learned a trick, serve myself a plate early on, snack on that same plate little here and there, don't sit in front of it during the whole event throw it away at the end with food still on it, and still compliement the hostess on a job well done!

Thanks Gail for the reminder of the "babysteps". I too start out with good intentions only to find myself at the bottom of chex mix bag. Generally this occurs when I come home after work as a reward for myself. Some reward,eh! But if at those moments I realize that I am not in this perdicament alone, that there are others out their facing this open bag syndrome, then maybe it can give me the strength or at least the awareness to walk away and take on a healthier habit. (yes I have removed most of my irresistable edible temptations but I have an 18 year old son and 22 year old daughter and cannot have my cupboads totally devoid of prepackaged foods). Perhaps in the late afternoon I can turn to this blog and all of your words of wisdom and encouragement to feast on. Thanks ivillage

You gals sound like a great group to keep in touch with. You all sound so motivating. I just found about the challenge,and I would like to join. Hope to return and chat.

I had a "Ladies Breakfast" to attend this morning and thought of not going because I would want to eat all the different things they have. But, I attend every month and didn't want to stop the things I enjoy doing. I was really good and took a spoonful only of eggs, 1 piece of bacon, 1 small pancake and 2 small bowls of fresh fruit salad. I was satisfied and had a great time. I know I can do this. Nice to read everybody's comments. Cheers

I just have to tell myself over and over and over. food is not medication. It will not make me feel better. Food is NOT medication.

hey everyone...keep up the good work. i love some of the tips you are sharing. as you can tell from my weekly action steps i am a big fan of writing things down. i do believe our thoughts create the language that creates the action. so practicing putting out there what we want can help us feel and stay motivated toward our goal.

and tbuaw - yes! food isn't medication. it is nourishment. necessary, loving, nourishment for our fragile, amazing, miracle filled bodies.

:)

When I was in therapy for my eating disorders in college my therapist used to tell me to "ride the wave of emotion." What she meant was that I shouldn't use food to numb myself from life. I should give myself permission to feel ALL my feelings, good and bad. As an anorexic, I tried to starve myself numb and as a bulimic and binge eater, I tried to fill myself numb. Riding the wave of emotion sounds simple enough, but even years after college, I still use food to protect myself from my feelings--good and bad.

So I understand eating for a happy emotion. I used to reward myself with bad foods when I lost weight...until I realized that I was over rewarding myself. Good stuff for like, every pound! So now I only reward myself with milestones. At least thats what im doing now...with this bout of weight loss atempt that is!

It's so funny how life brings you the things you need. I ate way more than I would usually yesterday (in a state of hangover!), and although not out of control, there is the usual feelings of guilt attached .. and here this blog is waiting for me this morning! So I release yesterday and any negative emotions attached to it. Thank you all and wish you a good, happy day.

hi hi every one
i just started my challenge today and when i wake up i did 60 min cardio on stationary bike and then dance 10 minuts
and now i am eating an apple
sorry my english is poor
i read all your posts since december and i love you all :)
i understand english completely but i have trouble writing and speaking
but i just wanted to say i am doing the same challenge with you and really happy
thank you

Happy Sunday morning to everyone. I did well on my Saturday I actually cleaned my bedroom as I wanted to, no procrastionation. That felt good to know I stuck with the days plan, I also did great as far as eating, portion wise as well as quanity. BUT, for me it is a daily, hourly even, thing, talking to myself. Reminding myself that my body derserves to be taken care of in a loving way, fueling it with the things that are best for it 99% of the time.
Taking babysteps we shall get there...
waaaa, I think I want my binkie...lol

I enjoy reading the blogs. It's extremely helpful. I had an excellent day yesterday, with excercise, food and my emotions. Don't get me wrong, thoughts crept in, such as: "Stop trying, you are going to fail anyway, so give up now." However, I told that part of myself to shut-up because I'm not going to listen to you. You always lie to me. It worked. At least for yesterday. Today, I'm going to RPM class at 10:30am and then will see where the rest of the day leads me.
Keep trying. Your worth it.
Best Wishes,
Lisa E

Hi everyone,

Well, I'm not off to a very good start. I've been having to work this whole weekend which got me right off track. Really bad timing. Not exercising, not eating right. However, I have to say, I'm not inclinded to eat alot of junk that I normally would. Not sure why that is..except maybe this site motivating me!! :-) But like the others, I'm not going to let that get me down and I'm going to realize tomorrow is another day. Good luck everybody and hope you are having a great day!
Barb

My biggest diet challenge has always been the weekend. So far I have done well and even ate out without ordering the fries. Its odd how the smallest actions make such a big difference in how I feel.

I did really well for lunch yesterday - salad and a piece of fish, BUT - I went to a holiday party last night and totally blew it! I sampled just about everything; the tables were laden with food.

Things happen - I can't beat myself up for it. Tomorrow is another day...

For me, the holidays are such a happy time...no stress, no worries, spend time with my family. But it didn't help my stomach when we had so much good food on the table. Christmas is the time for the traditional menudo and tamales (if anyone is familiar with menudo, you know what menudo is made of!)...also the traditional cookout during the New Year's. To me the worries about dieting comes around September where not only do I have to worry about the holidays, but also the birthdays as well...time for birthday cake, ice cream, and another traditional cookout. It's funny how when I'm working, I don't think much about food, but when I come home, I come home to the couch, and to the fridge. Like you said Jess, not anymore. This year, I have to make the time...time to walk, time to use the weight machine (which was collecting dust until last night when I used it...yea!) And time to relax properly...I mean really think about stretching and meditating. Say a prayer for me-I wish you ladies the best of luck!

I have been reading some of your messages .stressing out how I had blown it yesterday. I guess can try again

I just started reading these and "Happy Binge" was a wonderful insight. Yes, I tend to run to the convenience store & binge in the car when I am just not in my "healthy eating state of mind". I could be happy, sad, anxious, whatever, and that is where I go and what I do. I need to focus more on what I am feeling & why and then not go to that store!!!!