My, What Beautiful Eyes You Have!

Hanging out at a funky little coffee shop yesterday, I took a break to buy myself a much-needed Americano. When I looked up to order, the barista behind the counter had the most beautiful eyes – big, round, and light brown. A light Peruvian roast, if you will. They so caught me off guard that I found myself staring for a moment. She looked back from beneath her orange kerchief, waiting and so, a tiny bit embarrassed, I just blurted, “Your eyes are gorgeous!”

She smiled and thanked me, and we moved on as normal. (Yes, she charged me!) And then a funny thing happened: As I stirred in my milk and sugar, I began to smile, too, because it feels good to compliment another person! In fact, a few years ago, researchers at Kansas State University conducted an experiment on this exact topic and discovered that regardless of whether a compliment addressed a woman's character ("You sound like a nice person,") or her appearance ("You're a nice-looking person,") the receiver reported a little mental boost.
Now that I really think about it, I actually often do try to say something randomly positive to at least one other woman every day. Sometimes it’s a comment about a stranger’s cute yoga pants (why is it that they are always from another country or some store but five seasons ago?!) Or maybe it’s my friend’s ability to divide the dinner bill by four and add the tip after we’ve all plowed through two pitchers of sangria. I suppose I do it because I know (a) it feels good to get an earnest compliment and (b) in today’s world, we women need to stick together.

So tell me, when’s the last time you gave a fellow female some props? What was it for? And do you remember an especially nice, unexpected compliment you got, be it from your boss, your trainer, your significant other? Share, share!

XOXOX, Leslie

PS Have I told you what fabulous commentators you are? ;-)

Foodie-licious

On the plane yesterday, I happened to sit next to a friendly (and handsome!) chef, born and raised in Barbados, who was headed to Los Angeles on business. We got to talking about our respective interests and passions and Myles handed me his business card, splashed with colorful pics of mouth-watering foods, from piles of tomato and mozzarella bruschetta to filet accompanied by asparagus bundles to mounds of shrimp skewers whose spice rub seemed to sizzle off the postcard. He described one entrée to me - a seemingly simple salad - in such tantalizing detail that I was practically drooling by the time we took off.

"First, we take lavash, an Indian flat bread, and we brush it with truffle oil, parmesan cheese and salt," he explained. “Then we wrap it like so (making an oval with his well-manicured hands), secure with a toothpick and bake it so it forms a hard shell,” which is filled with fresh greens. He went on to describe how goat and cream cheese are blended together, formed into a small ball, coated in Japanese bread crumbs and baked, which is placed at the base of the salad tower. A simple garnish of dried Turkish apricots and figs (oh, did I mention he grows fig trees in his living room?!) and a balsamic reduction finish off the lovely beginning course.

So, here is this caterer, describing a frigging salad, and I am, like, salivating – not necessarily over him (though his dreadlocks-and-business shirt combo was definitely appealing) – but over his obvious zeal for his craft. I love it when people are passionate about what they do. It makes everything about them seem more intriguing, more attractive, more energized! Sure, maybe the fact that I was stuck on a plane for five-plus hours with nothing but two fruit and yogurt parfaits and a mini Rolo to tide me over contributed to my response. But don’t you agree that people who are fiery and eager to talk about their work/interests/loves are, I don’t know, just so satisfying to speak to? Kind of like tucking into some delicious lobster versus eating the same old turkey sandwich.

This weekend, go for the lobster instead of the sandwich. Be exotic, erotic, and outgoing. Show your passion. Rock your world. Rock someone else's world! Step out of the box in whatever way you can.

Can't wait to hear what you do!
xoxoxo,
Leslie

In LA LA Land

Sorry for the delayed post: I was on a flight from Chicago to LA that took just a wee bit too long due to mechanical issues and then had to hustle it to a speaking engagement. The crowd, though small, spanned three generations and was wonderfully intimate, allowing everyone to express their feelings. Mothers voiced their concerns over saying the "right" things in front of their daughters and sons; new mothers spoke of relishing their incredible capacity to feed their babies; a model who had struggled in the past with body image was inspiring in her words as she spoke of being careful to keep that world separate from her daughter in one sense (ie having to look a certain way) but is so glad her child has the unique opportunity to view airbrushing up close and personal, so perhaps she won't get sucked in to the media's illusion machine so easily.

I'll be here throughout the weekend and am excited to shop, try my first In n' Out Burger, and spend time with my brother and sister-in-law. Expect more from the West Coast...and until then, sweet dreams!

Playing favorites

After reading through yesterday's initial responses (all so warm and welcoming, BTW--thank you!), it seems like one common goal shared by so many women...and this certainly isn't an earth-shattering surprise...is our constant struggle to love ourselves AS IS. To embrace the curve of our hips, the muscle in our calves, the swell of our inner thigh (it's there for a reason, ladies: to protect a little baby's head during childbirth!)

I recently attended a super-fun book party where about 12 smart and sassy women gathered to discuss my writing, what it meant to them, their own body image struggles and celebrations. As the wine flowed and the martinis got dirtier, stories unfolded about college struggles with anorexia; current - albeit very slight - weight gain (and the accompanying great breasts that came with it!); a recent broken leg and the frustration of not being able to work out. One woman recently grew her hair back after a year-long struggle with cancer and, not even 30 years old, is about to get married to a fabulous guy. Her friend was fantastically fiesty and rallied the group to ignore sizes when shopping and rip the tags out once home - after all, one store's size 6 can be another's size 12. It doesn't matter!

At one point, we decided to go around the room (the women had rented a private back room - complete with stripper pole! - for the event) and say what our favorite part of our body was. I suggested this game because so often, we focus on the parts we dislike: "My stomach is too flabby." "My chest is so small." "I have cankles." (OK, I admit...I have long yearned for slender ankles, but 'tis not my genetic fate.) So around we went, starting with me. I said I love my height, because I feel it gives me a strong presence, and my stomach, because it's nice evidence of my healthy lifestyle. Around we went and it was so interesting to hear what everyone had to say. One woman loved her nose, with its teeny tiny silver stud. Another loved her "ba-dunk-a-dunk," which never fails to garner her positive attention from the male persuasion. One woman loved the proportions of her curvy figure, because everything "just fits together." Hair; eyes; chest; everything! It was so empowering!

So let's try it here. What do you love about your body? What are your favorite parts...and why? Let us know how beautiful you are, inside and out.

Weighting to exhale

Hi everyone!

We don’t know each other (yet), but I have a feeling we’ve already met…

Maybe it was this morning at the coffee shop, when I almost took your non-fat, sugar-free vanilla latte instead of my extra-shot espresso – room for milk – because I was so tired from staying up late last night, working on a deadline.

Or maybe it was yesterday at the gym, when we each raced to nowhere next to one another on the treadmill.

Or was it last week, walking through downtown, when I complimented you on your skirt? It showed off your killer curves so well (but I was too embarrassed to say that, so I just blurted, “Great color!”)

No, I know – it was this afternoon, in the locker room, as we each watched an endless stream of women stepping on and off the gigantic scale. We resisted…we really don’t want the number to rule our day…but I think maybe we were both semi-eyeballing the number.

Yes, we are busy, productive women with lots and lots on our minds. Work, working out. Relationships, family. Food, life. Though we all have woven such different fabrics to represent our worlds, it’s amazing how common some of our threads are. And that is why I absolutely cannot wait to start forming a smart, active, insightful community here at The Weighting Game. For the past few months, I've been paying careful attention to your interactions with Jess to get a sense of what you're looking for, how things work, what you expect of a blog leader. I know I have some important shoes to fill. But I also have my own pair of well-worn silver Nikes, some really cute olive suede Pumas with a pink cat, and killer black and silver-heeled stilettos (5'11'', and not afraid to push it, baby!) With them I bring my own experiences, my own body image battles, my own background...my own voice.

So, a little bit about me: I'm a 30-year-old writer with an absolute passion for women's health. My goals are to shake things up, make people think, make people laugh - my favorite compliment! - create new friendships, write my butt off, MAKE A DIFFERENCE! I love running, yoga, reading (I have a strange tendency to pick memoirs of addiction but am slowly weaning myself away, towards fiction), dancing, chocolate and fresh fruit, my husband-my best friend in the world, and of course, writing. I also tend to be a bit clumsy – when you’re this tall, extremities can get in the way; I love sarcastic, goofy humor; I am extremely open and will reveal most anything about myself...so go ahead and ask because I'm willing to share (just not my sushi. I don't like sharing my sushi.)

If you’re into books, you may have read mine, Locker Room Diaries: The Naked Truth About Women, Body Image and Re-Imagining the “Perfect” Body (Da Capo, 2007) – I was fortunate enough to be on the Today Show with it last year when it first came out in hard cover and I’ve since been touring college campuses, speaking about life in the ladies’ locker room, my own past eating disorder and how to beat down the bully that is distorted body image. If you’re a magazine junkie (me, too!), you’ve likely seen my byline in publications such as Women’s Health, Shape, Runner’s World, Redbook, Health, the Chicago Tribune and more. To learn more, come check out my web site, www.lrdiaries.com And yes, I will have many, many tales of locker room experiences (hilarious, heartbreaking and everything in between) to share with you over the course of this new Weighting Game.

Like I said, I am a woman with a voice, and I am incredibly eager to hear your beautiful, unique voices in return. To start, I'd love if you could throw out some ideas--topics you'd like to see addressed here, questions you have, burning issues you want to discuss. Let's make this really interactive, supportive, friendly (but differing viewpoints are always encouraged)...a place you want to visit, read about, intermingle with, exhale and relax at...everyday.

Until tomorrow,
xoxox,
Leslie