My, What Beautiful Eyes You Have!

Hanging out at a funky little coffee shop yesterday, I took a break to buy myself a much-needed Americano. When I looked up to order, the barista behind the counter had the most beautiful eyes – big, round, and light brown. A light Peruvian roast, if you will. They so caught me off guard that I found myself staring for a moment. She looked back from beneath her orange kerchief, waiting and so, a tiny bit embarrassed, I just blurted, “Your eyes are gorgeous!”

She smiled and thanked me, and we moved on as normal. (Yes, she charged me!) And then a funny thing happened: As I stirred in my milk and sugar, I began to smile, too, because it feels good to compliment another person! In fact, a few years ago, researchers at Kansas State University conducted an experiment on this exact topic and discovered that regardless of whether a compliment addressed a woman's character ("You sound like a nice person,") or her appearance ("You're a nice-looking person,") the receiver reported a little mental boost.
Now that I really think about it, I actually often do try to say something randomly positive to at least one other woman every day. Sometimes it’s a comment about a stranger’s cute yoga pants (why is it that they are always from another country or some store but five seasons ago?!) Or maybe it’s my friend’s ability to divide the dinner bill by four and add the tip after we’ve all plowed through two pitchers of sangria. I suppose I do it because I know (a) it feels good to get an earnest compliment and (b) in today’s world, we women need to stick together.

So tell me, when’s the last time you gave a fellow female some props? What was it for? And do you remember an especially nice, unexpected compliment you got, be it from your boss, your trainer, your significant other? Share, share!

XOXOX, Leslie

PS Have I told you what fabulous commentators you are? ;-)

Comments

"We women need to stick together" - SO TRUE! I just had to toss that out there and further emphasize how important it is for women to build each other up instead of tear each other down.

I love dishing out compliments to other women, but I have a really difficult time receiving them. However, recently someone complimented me on a great race that I had - something I was definitely proud of because my body did something I wasn't even sure it was capable of doing - and I smiled widely and confidently said, "Thank you." It felt good to finally drink in a compliment instead of immediately deflecting it.

I love your energy, Leslie!

I used to have a hard time accepting compliments on my appearance. Once, a woman saw me at Costco (I looked like a mess) and said, "Gosh, you're so beautiful". All I could do was give her a nervous half-smile and stammer out a thank you.

But I'm getting better at just saying a simple thank you graciously. I don't mind people complimenting me on my abilities or personality traits--but appearance is different. I don't know why.

When someone says something nice about your personality, intelligence, abilities to give advice, draw, write, etc.--you feel good because the person who complimented you actually noticed those traits through observing for a while. Those kinds of compliments usually come from people who have known you on a deeper level and go deeper themselves.

My friend always tells me that I give some of the most unique, coolest compliments on a wide range of traits (appearance included).

Some Favorite Compliments
In No Particular Order

1) You're poems are like a treat for the eyes (member on a list-server I send my poems out to)

2) She's so gentle that she wouldn't hurt a fly! (friend)

3) ******, you ask some of the most detail-oriented questions that even I have to go home and look up the answers. (former chemistry professor)

4) If Zaha Hadid were to see what you are doing, ******, she would be proud to ask you to join her architecture class (former art professor on the precise measurements of the angles on a mosque that I was drawing--Zaha Hadid is a famous architect)

5) You would make a great therapist--did you know that? (a friend when I gave her advice)

6) You have given me so many nice compliments that make me go, awww! (a friend)

7) ****** is my favorite sister out of all of you (my brother).

8) There's a certain pretty symmetry to her face (my brother)

9) You know, I love all of my children. But you, I like you a little more above the rest (My dad).

Masha'Allah

Leslie, I like your positive attitude!

I compliment my friends a lot and they do to me vice versa. It is a nice boost to your day!

oxoxoxoxo

I love your blog, and just commented on the great insight you gave about how as women, we dread weighing ourselves and yet at the gym we are like "moths to a flame," and are almost always drawn to that scale, getting on it, and half peeking at our "number". That "number" which will ultimately make or break the way we feel about ourselves.
http://blog.thewinningpitch.com/

I had some random guy on a train tell me I should be in penthouse. That was a little weird.

But I recently got a haircut and stopped wearing my signature bun so I got a lot of hair compliments. Both quality and cut, so that was nice.

I can't remember an exact day that I gave out a compliment, but I tend to toss them around at work to my coworkers and the people I interact with. Feels good.

The last compliment i gave was to a girl i saw at the gym, i told her that she looked so beautiful and that she has lost alot of weight and looks great, she said i made her day and i felt good about that...Last night my bf told me that i always look beautiful no matter what even when i've just woken up and my hairs a mess...Its nice to kno you don't have to try to impress the one u love becuz they love u for u..Have a good day ladies

One of my recent comments to a friend-
"Whoa, your hair makes your eyes look like the waters of Bonaire (an island in the Carribean we went scuba-diving at) She'd just gotten a color touch-up and her hair offset her eyes so nicely
!
As to recieving compliments, my boyfriend recently was watching me as I was getting ready to go out when he said, "Your so beautiful you don't even need to wear make-up. You just naturally look amazing" It made me feel so great.

lol my eyes are pretty :D