Weighting to exhale

Hi everyone!

We don’t know each other (yet), but I have a feeling we’ve already met…

Maybe it was this morning at the coffee shop, when I almost took your non-fat, sugar-free vanilla latte instead of my extra-shot espresso – room for milk – because I was so tired from staying up late last night, working on a deadline.

Or maybe it was yesterday at the gym, when we each raced to nowhere next to one another on the treadmill.

Or was it last week, walking through downtown, when I complimented you on your skirt? It showed off your killer curves so well (but I was too embarrassed to say that, so I just blurted, “Great color!”)

No, I know – it was this afternoon, in the locker room, as we each watched an endless stream of women stepping on and off the gigantic scale. We resisted…we really don’t want the number to rule our day…but I think maybe we were both semi-eyeballing the number.

Yes, we are busy, productive women with lots and lots on our minds. Work, working out. Relationships, family. Food, life. Though we all have woven such different fabrics to represent our worlds, it’s amazing how common some of our threads are. And that is why I absolutely cannot wait to start forming a smart, active, insightful community here at The Weighting Game. For the past few months, I've been paying careful attention to your interactions with Jess to get a sense of what you're looking for, how things work, what you expect of a blog leader. I know I have some important shoes to fill. But I also have my own pair of well-worn silver Nikes, some really cute olive suede Pumas with a pink cat, and killer black and silver-heeled stilettos (5'11'', and not afraid to push it, baby!) With them I bring my own experiences, my own body image battles, my own background...my own voice.

So, a little bit about me: I'm a 30-year-old writer with an absolute passion for women's health. My goals are to shake things up, make people think, make people laugh - my favorite compliment! - create new friendships, write my butt off, MAKE A DIFFERENCE! I love running, yoga, reading (I have a strange tendency to pick memoirs of addiction but am slowly weaning myself away, towards fiction), dancing, chocolate and fresh fruit, my husband-my best friend in the world, and of course, writing. I also tend to be a bit clumsy – when you’re this tall, extremities can get in the way; I love sarcastic, goofy humor; I am extremely open and will reveal most anything about myself...so go ahead and ask because I'm willing to share (just not my sushi. I don't like sharing my sushi.)

If you’re into books, you may have read mine, Locker Room Diaries: The Naked Truth About Women, Body Image and Re-Imagining the “Perfect” Body (Da Capo, 2007) – I was fortunate enough to be on the Today Show with it last year when it first came out in hard cover and I’ve since been touring college campuses, speaking about life in the ladies’ locker room, my own past eating disorder and how to beat down the bully that is distorted body image. If you’re a magazine junkie (me, too!), you’ve likely seen my byline in publications such as Women’s Health, Shape, Runner’s World, Redbook, Health, the Chicago Tribune and more. To learn more, come check out my web site, www.lrdiaries.com And yes, I will have many, many tales of locker room experiences (hilarious, heartbreaking and everything in between) to share with you over the course of this new Weighting Game.

Like I said, I am a woman with a voice, and I am incredibly eager to hear your beautiful, unique voices in return. To start, I'd love if you could throw out some ideas--topics you'd like to see addressed here, questions you have, burning issues you want to discuss. Let's make this really interactive, supportive, friendly (but differing viewpoints are always encouraged)...a place you want to visit, read about, intermingle with, exhale and relax at...everyday.

Until tomorrow,
xoxox,
Leslie

Comments

Hey Leslie, welcome! Looking forward to reading more and interacting! I don't like sharing my sushi either ...

Hi Leslie! sounds like you are a chick I'd want to be friends with! I am also 30, also a freak about health & fitness & have been working on opening my own gym for the past 2 years... & I'm getting closer to making it happen! But my gym is not like any other... I am anti diet & don't believe in scales!!! looking forward to reading all the topics that are shared here :)

Hello Leslie! Here's to hope and overcomming distorted body images! I love to read too and I will check out your book. Read a fabulous quote today, "A superior person brings out the best in others. . ." Have a beautiful day!

GREAT JOB! Looking forward to more of your insight....

Hi Leslie - you sound fabulous.. I would like to see a support system in place - where people like me can come to boost their self-esteem.

Thanks,

Richelle

What a wonderful welcome so far! It sounds like many of us are on the same wavelength in terms of interests and what kind of forum we'd like to see this develop into. I can't wait!

Dana, best of luck on your business venture - a gym with no scales sounds like heaven! In my book I interviewed a woman named Lisa Tealer from Redwood City, Calif., who co-founded a gym with the same philosophy, the Women of Substance spa and health club, geared especially for the plus-size woman. They even had a sign above the locker room door that said "You are now entering a body disparagement-free zone." Can you imagine? We all need that sign! Unfortunately, the club closed but what a concept - go get 'em!

I am very excited to read more, and interested in everything that everyone has to add to this forum! one thing that i have personally battled with is accepting myself. I am only 22 and in pretty good shape, but when i look back at when i was 16 and a competitive swimmer, all i can think about is how much i wish i looked like that now. but what is worse, is when i was 16, i thought that i was too fat. I am sure that this will develop into a cycle and when i'm 35 with two kids, all i'll be able to think about is how i wish i looked like i did when i was 22. I'm hoping for some insight, or maybe someone to tell me to stop obsessing :) thanks for all the input!

Hi Leslie--
Welcome! I wish you the best on this blog and I hope you accomplish everything you set your heart on.

I write poetry on body image issues from time to time. I hope you don't mind my posting some of my poems. I sometimes feel my poems offend some people because they feel that I, as a Muslim woman, can possibly relate to them and the issues they have with their bodies.

In general, people are not very accepting of hearing about issues commonplace in the West from a Muslim's perspective because they don't think we can relate. Somehow, because I wear the head scarf, I am alienated from everyone in the sense that they do not try to come forward and be open and friendly with me as they would to somebody who is exactly like them--Westernized.

Yet we're all human and bleed and face the same issues--regardless of some differences. I don't know how any individual reacts when they read my poetry--which is why I rarely post poetry here. Anyways, my heartfelt welcome and best wishes to you.

A_Muslim_Poet

A Piece of My World--

Pairs of eyes look at me!
I shuffle in, take a seat
So visible, yet a nobody
Not gonna be discreet...

I don't wear my heart on my sleeve
I'm so quiet, as I come in and leave...
But there is a PERSONALITY inside
Yet I'm too shy to confide...

So hesitant to introduce myself to you
To wisecrack and be wise, warm and true...
Kind of dying in a crowded setting
Dying to get away from what is so upsetting.

I can't change so easily--
For I am navigating life slowly
Coming to my own solutions
My own unique conclusions.

Yet this I leave with you--
A smile is charity, a blessing
When you see a silently observant girl
Smile and introduce yourself :)

Only then will you be invited into her world...

Hey Leslie! Well, I have an eating disorder like you had. I'm in recovery for it. It is so hard though! I have such a disordered body image and I think almost evey woman does. I wish there was a way to fix that. Why can't we love ourselves just like we are instead of 10 pounds thinner? I also love to run like you do. Although I can't run right now because of my health. And I also like to read like you do! And I have a passion for women's health and I love to write and I love magazines! We have a lot in common! lol! You sound like a great person.

Poet - your work is beautiful. What an athentic voice you have. Thank you for sharing your work with all of us.

And Alex, I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say congratulations on your recovery. It is a tough road but I get the sense from the tone of your post that you have a strong will, and that will help you thrill. And of course, reading is always a great escape...even the occasional gossip mag!

Keep posting - when things are good, if times are rough. I want this space to be a place where we all help each other.

Good night to all! Thanks for making my first day at The Weighting Game so wonderful...
xoxox
Leslie

I hope there will be a lot of discussion on how to wrap your mind around what your body is now...instead of what it used to be, what you'd rather it be, who you'd rather look like, etc. I often find I am down about the fact I would rather look different. Almost like I don't want to accept what I am. It's very hard to shake off that voice that says you are not okay the way you are. Hopefully you will have some thoughts about that.

HI Leslie,
I am 30 yrs old and have been overweight my whole life, around a size 16/18. I've yo yo dieted forever and just recently decided to not "diet" anymore and focus on eating healthfully and doing things like exercise, stictly to make myself feel better. I'm not focusing on burning calories. Since I started doing this a year ago, I've stayed exactly the same weight for a year which is unheard of for me. I've always been losing or gaining weight. It's a good feeling to stay the same. I eventually want to lose some weight but I am finally appreciating things about my body and not putting myself down anymore. I dress better and take the time to put on a little make up and some earrings. No more putting things off til I lose some weight anymore. I have 2 little girls ages 3 and 5 and I want to set a good example for them. I feel like I've wasted so much time hating myself. I wish I had come to this realization earlier. At least my girls can see me this way now. Thanks

Hi Leslie.

This is incredible -- what a perfect thing for you to be doing! I could not be prouder to know you and call you a friend.

We miss you here at the AMA -- but now I know I have a place where I can come visit and see how you're doing.

Leslie,

I am so exited that you will be blogging. As you know, I love your book, Locker Room Diaries. You make such a difference in the world of women's health.

Jenni

Nice writing and a topic that I find fascinating personally and generally. I do feel that the tide is turning very slowly against unhealthy attitudes to thinness and fatness, and that we can be sexy, gorgeous and fit by adopting moderation. Great to hear another voice joining the chorus.

Arpi

Hi Leslie. I'm a formerly fat person, that tries hard not to be the annoying fit person. My biggest prejudice I have is that I think it's a cop-out when people say they can't lose weight or that obesity or diabetes brought on by being overweight is unavoidable because it is genetic. While partly true--I firmly believe that is a very small part of it. The rest of it is lifestyle. Too often many people inherit unhealthy lifestyles from their families as well as genes. I also get annoyed when people say they love their bodies when they are fat. I'm all for being comfortable in your own skin, and being who you are regardless of your weight--but if you really love yourself, you learn to care more for yourself physically and by what you put into it. I am also into yoga, tennis, writing (first published book due out 3/08) and sushi. Best of luck dealing with lots of strong opinions and helping us all grow smarter, kinder, fitter. : )

Hi Leslie: I am a 41 year old divorced single parent. All my life I have battled with being overweight. Since joining Weight Watchers last year I have lost 43 pounds and took up running on my treadmill. I have slowly changed my bad habits into healthy habits by revamping the way I shop, cook and think about food. I want to be healthy for myself as well as to be a good role model for my daughter. My biggest accomplishment this past year (besides losing the weight and getting fit) was learning to love myself, even when I am less than perfect. When we love ourselves, everything else falls into place. Ironically, my boyfriend (now ex!) told me that my weight held us back sexually and that I was the heaviest girlfriend he's ever had. Luckily, I love myself enough to know that that's his issue, not mine. When women stop relying on others for validation and begin relying on themselves, we'll all be healthier for it! Keep up the good work!

Hello Leslie,
I am a 45 year old woman who was a scholarship athlete in college (track and field). Now that I'm older and my body is no longer the athlete's body (after childbirth and simply getting older) I struggle with accepting my body as it is today. Could you talk about this challenge for us post athlete types.

I love this blog. I can relate to so many of you. At 44, I feel the best about myself when I'm doing the most I can to be the happiest and healthiest I can be. I am more physically active now then I was in my thirties (I took a 3 year hiatus while having babies.) And even though I'm probably in the best physical condition of my life, age takes its toll (even if just a little bit!) Things just ain't as hard and tight as they used to be. But that's okay, because I'm the healthiest and strongest I can be at this stage in my life. Kudos to all of us who embrace, value and take care of ourselves.

Leslie come tour WVU's campus!

i love the comments ladies! i too spend a huge amount of time looking back at how my body USED to be. ugh...i find that i'm not as happy or that i miss things that would have made me laugh, on any other day.it's hard to silence the voice in your head that says "you USED to be this way"...but i am learning to look around me instead of just focus on myself and this gives me motivation to excercise and just feel better through LIVING.i would regret if something happened to someone i love, and all i could say to myself was -"i missed out on so many things with this person because i was focused on me. and my weight. and how I looked." i love the chats and will continue to tune in. have an awesome day and enjoy!