Pretty, Popular and Too Much

Last week, Maureen McCormick, who played America’s favorite oldest sister Marcia Brady, revealed she has struggled with bulimia for a decade, as well as cocaine addiction. The former child actress, now 50, joins the ranks of countless others in the spotlight who, whether they’ve declared it verbally or not, have battled an eating disorder - illnesses that have the highest fatality rate of any other psychiatric disease.

McCormick is no longer bulimic, but succumbed to the pressure of the disease for six years, starting in 1969, just after The Brady Bunch ended its run. That she had to deal with this sad secret for so long (she learned about purging as a dietary method when she returned to public high school after filming and discovered her girlfriends were doing it) is not what shocks me. After all, she was America’s sweetheart - boys loved her, girls wanted to be like her; she represented the ideal young woman and that’s a lot of pressure to live with. But what I find to be such a pleasant surprise in the wake of her public announcement is that she simply revealed it at all.

Nowadays, star after star denies having an eating disorder, and for some, this may be true. A fast metabolism or a medical condition can be the underlying factor. But for others, anorexia or bulimia IS, in fact, a reality and you know what? It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to many, many people. Millions, in fact. It happened to me. It may have happened - may be happening right now - to some of you. McCormick, who had never told anyone about her bulimia, was recently on Entertainment Tonight and the question came up. As she reported in the press:

"It's so weird. I've always wanted to [tell someone], but I've never been asked the question, 'Have you ever had an eating disorder?' And they did ask me and I couldn't lie."

Bravo, I say, for her candor. I think a lot of women who still love The Brady Bunch will look to her as an example of bravery and strength. A eating disorder is not something to be embarrassed about. The more we bring it out in the open, the more we can get people the help they need. Hopefully this is a lesson many, including McCormick’s teenage daughter, can absorb, before it’s too late.

Comments

I agree completely; as a recovered(-ing) anorexic myself, I applaud Maureen for admitting her problem. I know it's not easy to do. It's a two-edged sword, though, lessening the stigma of eating disorders. One has to be careful,though. It's good to admit the presence of an eating disorder, but it's vital to acknowledge the deathly severity which accompanies them. I fear that eating disorders may become too trendy, like purse-pooches and giant sunglasses.

I agree completely and I think we need to educate everyone on the dangers of eating disorders, too. In high school, several girls I knew decided to go anorexic together. And they all lost weight, quickly. It started with 3 girls and by the time I was a senior, there were 6 that weren't eating together (that I knew of). It was a trend, and as a teenage girl, who doesn't want to be skinny?

I wish there were more celebrities who would talk about their eating disorder problems to show it's not an easy way to lose weight - there are serious consequences.

Don't you think that some of these celebrities choose to bring up certain subjects when their popularity seems to be on the decline? Like Hale Berry bringing up her suicide attempt. I just don't want to look up to celebrities for ways to relate and get information. If someone has a problem and they understand that it's a problem, they should get PROFESSIONAL help, get a support system, not watch TV and read magazines. I'm sorry if this is harsh, but I don't think that is any disorder anymore that isn't out in the open and public and we all hear about it all the time, so I don't understand why people would feel they're alone and nobody else in the world is dealing with the same problem. Lets promote ways for people to get help, lets promote the people and organizations that devote their time to help others overcome their debilitating disorders. Lets educate our daughters and sisters of the dangers and be women they can look up to for support & wisdom. Real women, not celebrities, that's who they should look up to.

Too much has been written over this ugly subject, and to be honest, I'm sick of reading about stars coming forward about their past issues and people talking out of both sides of their mouth about these illnesses. Doctors and the health industry don't and have not figured out how to help patients, and from the way things are going now, they never will.
I was anorexic too, and dabbled in bulimia, and I've hit rock bottom because of an eating disorder, been locked up in places I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to ever see.
And through it all, I never went crying to anyone, or felt the need to stop the problem in other people. I'm so ashamed of it and how it destroyed my life, I just find it's best to never speak of it and let the past be what it is. I'll admit to having problems, but that's as far as it goes. You talk about it, and things just get complicated and people get weird. Girls are going to do what they do. If they get better, fine, but it won't be a happy ending for every girl who develops eating issues.

Let's be realistic. I agree with nomad, not every girl will feel the need or pressure to 'try' what all her friends are doing. I've never felt the need to smoke or drink, even when everyone around me did. I was smart enough to realize that while you may get ostrecised by your peers and not be considered 'cool', that's not what's going to keep me alive. The allure of being popular is not going me be at my deathbed when I weigh 70 pounds or have lung or liver cancer. Why are girls today so easily pressured?
Some people seem to be programmed to go down the wrong road and choose not go get better because the pain of letting go of what you've clung to so badly is stronger than the pain and agony of stepping into a new direction and making a positive change. It takes a lot of courage and I hate to say it, not all of us have what it takes to make it in this crazy world and have to settle for being mediocre, ordinary, full-figured or skinny. There's no female mold, we need to accept that and celebrate our unique selves!

the brady bunch STARTED in 1969; get your facts straight.

I think for a young cutie like Leslie, just knowing WHO the Brady Bunch was is quite an accomplishment! I, on the other hand, remember when that show was in its hey day, and WE ALL wanted to be Marcia Brady.

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! She had it all, didn't she? Pretty people have it so easy. If I have to be a size 2 to get what I want out of life, then I have to do what it takes to be that size! I have to watch every morsel of food and weigh it and and steam it and order my dressing on the side and then not put any on. I have to avoid soda and chocolate and strap myself on a treadmill 3 hours a day! I go tanning and get my fake nails glued on. It's what it takes for a big girl like me to wear those hot skinny jeans. If you don't want to do what it takes, then be fat. It's just that the world doesn't like heavy people. You have to have an awesome personality if you're big. At least then people will have something nice to say about you. Oh, she's really funny! She'd be so pretty if she lost like 80lbs. I'd go out with her if the chairs didn't buckle under the her. I don't want people to look at me like I'm lazy and a slob, so I do what it takes. It sucks, but hey, you have to grin and bear it to enjoy the perks of life!

I think there are many reasons people with eating disorders feel they're alone in this world, despite the fact that so much attention is paid to anorexia and bulimia in the media. First, these diseases are often made fun of, the words used as mere hyperbole for describing an actress who's looking a little thin or, in real life, women tend to use the words as adjectives when being, shall we say, catty ("Look at that girl in line...she has no butt - she must be anorexic!") Such overuse and frivolous treatment of the word makes sufferers feel like their illness - and it IS an illness - is not real. This can be a very lonely, isolating feeling. Also, just as with binge-eating or emotional over-eating, eating disorders of all kinds can be quite shaming, and women don't want to speak out, for fear it will make them seem out-of-control, unattractive, "crazy," etc. It's very hard to say "I made myself throw up for years" or "I eat to the point where I can't get off the ground" or "I'm so afraid of failure that...

...I starve myself to take my mind off of it." So I think women who ARE able to say that can be looked to as sources of strength.

As for thinking the answer is to simply stop talking about it, well, I have to respectfully disagree. There are many sad, negative issues - war, poverty, racism, illness - but remaining silent does not mean they cease to exist. When it comes to such a tricky topic like eating disorders, speaking out and sharing your story, your sources of strength, is a great way to spread wisdom and allow other women to realize that they CAN be real, that their inner beauty can shine through rather than wasting years of their life obsessing over calories and fat and things that really won't matter in the end.

I cannot tell you the pain and tears that confront me every time I speak at a college or high school - young women approaching me, their eyes wet and red, their sobs choking out between words. They feel ALONE. ISOLATED. LIKE NO ONE CARES. LIKE PEOPLE THINK THEY JUST WANT ATTENTION.

Hearing from another woman helps them, they say - it shows them that there is hope. That, even though there may be stumbling blocks in the road, they can get better. No, it won't be a happy ending for every girl who develops an eating issue. But there IS help for some. For many, even. And to give those women a chance, we need to keep talking. Maybe not in the pages of celebrity weeklies, but in forums such as this. But we do need to keep talking.

Boo, you may not understand this, but having an eating disorder is only one of many problems that people face that can make them feel alone and marginalized. Anyone from victims of domestic/sexual abuse to men who suffer from erectile dysfunction can all feel that way -- and it doesn't matter one bit that there are others in the world going through the same thing.

And just because "not every girl will feel the need or pressure" to go down that road, doesn't give us license to ignore those who do.

I don't have all the answers, but I do know one thing: NOT talking about it is the surest road to making it worse.

Hey Leslie,

Somewhat related, or maybe totally unrelated -- what are your thoughts on the ED websites out there right now? I'm talking about the Pro Ana/Mia websites that girls put up. Personally, I read them and I'm like, "How can anyone possibly believe any of this?" But obviously, some girls out there do. I guess the reason I was reminded of these websites is because they illustrate perfectly why I can't relate to people who have eating disorders. I just don't understand where these girls are coming from with this stuff. Not that I've never had issues with body image, but having an eating disorder is a totally different world as far as I can tell. Anyway, just curious what other peoples' thoughts were on the topic...

Johanna's post is the perfect example of what you would find on one of the ED websites I referenced. And I don't understand how anyone can actually believe that garbage. "You have to be a size 2 to get what you want out of life"? Please! Tell that to America Ferrera, Jennifer Hudson, Chandra Wilson, or Oprah Winfrey. Girls can have role models who are successful and completely NORMAL looking.

And how about looking beyond Hollywood for role models? That'd be a nice change. There's Condoleeza Rice, Hillary Clinton, Amy Tan, Maya Angelou, Dolores Huerta... The list could go on.

What I'm saying is, when I hear someone say, "I have to be thin to be successful" or "I have to be thin to be beautiful," I don't get where that comes from. I know some people will say it's in the media, but for every size 2 blond model, there is a Beyonce or a Jennifer Lopez. It seems to me if you believe you have to be stick-thin to be beautiful, it's because you WANT to believe it, not because it's true.

eating disorders are extremely hard. if you don't have one then you can't possibly understand but don't judge someone who has it just because you don't understand what they are going through. just because you don't have that problem doesn't mean that it's not a extremely difficult problem. recovery is so hard. you have to face your worst fear which is eating and gaining weight. and if you don't your doctors will throw you in the hospital. your basically being black mailed to eat. it's really hard and I stuggle with it and I know a ton of girls who do too.

Nikki,
I have seen (and written about) these pro-ana websites, which glorify eating disorders, using extreme, graphic pictures to, in a sense, personify illness such as anorexia ("Ana") and bulimia ("Mia"). Visitors often say that for them, EDs are a choice, a lifestyle; these pics of waif women and tips on staying hungry give them "Thinspiration."

For many in recovery or trying to get better, these sites can very triggering - this reminds me of an Oprah show on addiction that just aired and a man who struggled with crack addiction for a decade. He mentioned that watching a video of a woman shooting up brought back the taste of the drug in his mouth for the first time in his eight years of sobriety. It was a trigger. And that is what these pro-ana websites do - they trigger viewers.

For someone who has never struggled with a psychiatric illness such an eating disorder, the best way I can explain the allure of these sites would be to point out just that - these are psychiatric illnesses,

like depression or anxiety. People are not thinking clearly and therefore, there's no telling where they might seek comfort. I can tell you, I know how bizarre it seems…after all, as I once read a doctor propose, imagine if there were web sites encouraging cancer patients to forgo chemo, or celebrating how wonderful it is to have lupus? It just wouldn’t happen. To clarify: I don't read these sites or see the allure, but from an objective standpoint, I can comprehend why those who struggle may be drawn to them. I urge you to stay away.