A moment on the lips...

Today is a sad day for my mouth.

I was supposed to visit the National Restaurant Association Hotel-Motel Show in Chicago – a sensory overload of foods, beverages and all things edible – but got entangled in deadlines. That is why, to torture myself, I decided to check out the “Hot New Products” section of the meeting and tease myself with what I missed…including:

Savoir Fare Hors d’Oeuvres Caribbean baby lobster tail with coconut and Mediterranean salad.

Carla's Pasta Cuore Mio Ravioli made with whole wheat pasta, filled with edamame beans, zucchini, spinach, sweet red peppers, raisins, ricotta and imported romano cheeses.

Mariebelle New York Frozen Hot Chocolate.

Exclusive Caviar de Venise farmed Italian caviar (I don’t even like caviar, but still…)

Bubbies Homemade Haupia - Okinawan Sweet Potato Mochi Ice Cream.

Blount Seafood Shrimp Fra Diavolo, Seafood in Lobster Cream Sauce, Shrimp & Scallop Florentine.

Fresh Green Organic micro green mix containing arugala, mizuna, tendergreen, bull's blood, beet top, tatsoi, and kohlrabi. (I don’t know what five of the seven are, but they sure sound exotic!)

Greek Island Spice Sonoma Harvest Chutney with figs, apricots, peaches, dates, raisins, cherries, and pears, steeped in chardonnay wine.

Hoo Roo Outback Wild Hibiscus Flowers which, when placed in a champagne flute, slowly open from bud to blossom. Sigh.

Kona Kampachi™ sashimi-grade, sustainably-raised Hawaiian yellowtail fish

LÄRABAR® new flavors: Key Lime Pie and Pistachio

Love and Quiches NY Cheesecake and Chocolate Lava Cake

Breyers' Mrs. Fields® Premium Cookie Sandwich – rich, creamy premium vanilla ice cream sandwiched between two Mrs. Fields melt-in-your mouth milk chocolate chip cookies.

Oh, the sacrifices we make for our work.

Comments

Leslie
You're killing me here. I'll have the Carla's Pasta Cuore Mio Ravioli. Hmmm. and I'll have a nice glass of wine with that...

I'll be honest, I haven't gone through and read all of your blog entries, although it is something that I plan on doing soon. I am a huge fan of ivillage and what it stands for, and I always thought that I was a grrl genius (love her blog) and that I was tough. Come to find out, this chick is not so tough, and I'm struggling with weight and body image. I am by no means fat, but I wouldn't mind losing some weight. I'm a size 6, and I'm 5'7 (just to give you some idea) and very muscular. I am active(horseback ride) and like being outdoors. I've recently (the past year) been struggling to accept my body and weight. I've been contemplating starting a severe diet (I'm a yoyo dieter anyways..) and I've tried writing everything down that I put in my mouth. It's hard. I know you've written books and done quite a bit of public speaking, so if you have any advice on self image,or how to get healthy and maybe lose some pounds, it would be greatly appreciated. Your new fan, Meg.

Megan,

Your comment reminded me of a quote from Lily Allen I read the other day (she's a pop singer from England):

"I think everybody is self-conscious, not just me. When you turn on the television there are workout videos, Weight Watchers ads, Slim-Fast drinks... it affects you eventually. There's nothing wrong with the way I look. I'm not overweight. I'm just not really, really thin. I don't feel that I over-eat, I'm just not someone who wants to live on a diet. And I haven't got time to go to the gym for 90 minutes every day."

She pretty much summed up exactly how I feel. If you're working out and eating healthfully, that's what brings self-acceptance. But relying on your dress size or your weight to give you self-acceptance is like giving up all your power, because then it's no longer YOUR decision whether you want to feel good about yourself. Why would you want to give up your power to feel good and happy?

So much tasty food....

Welcome Meg! Thanks for your open and honest post. I think Nikki did a very, very nice job with her advice and I'll take a stab, too. From the info I've gotten from your post, you sound like someone who is candid, reflective and not afraid to come clean about her feelings. You're active, health-conscious and have had a pretty good self-image going but perhaps some of the outside forces which exist in our society are starting to weigh on you. And this last part can be touch if you are like me (which I suspect you are) in that you've long prided yourself on standing out from a crowd, on being above the cliched "I have to look a certian way" mentality...when you find yourself getting sucked into that way of thinking, it's incredibly frustrating because you/I always wanted to NOT be that person. I know when I fell into my eating disorder, I hated the fact that I became, in a sense, a cliche: the perfectionistic, overachieving, straight-A, people-pleasing anorexic. In my quest to stand out, I became textbook. Uch.

But I think it's great that you are recognizing these feelings before they get out of control (which, unfortunately, I was not able to do.) It sounds like you are at a beautiful size and weight, that your workout and maybe it's starting to become harder and harder to ignore the pictures and messages which surround us, hammering home the mantra that "Size X is Best." I hope I did not add fuel to the fire by listing all of those foods above...I definitely do not think writing down every food one consumes is a good or healthy way to monitor ones weight - in fact, I think it can pave the way towards some obsessive behavior. I think a good exercise might be for you to stand in front a mirror and take a look at all of the beautiful parts of you that perhaps you haven't given yourself proper credit for. You're a horseback rider - I bet you have killer posture, strong thighs and a nice bum...yes? Those are features many women would LOVE to posses! What about things like your eyes, your hair, your smile? Try focusing on

the positive rather than the negative (like wanting to go on a "severe" diet - severe ANYTHING is bad news). If you do ultimately decide you want to lose some weight, I hope you do it in a healthy way - perhaps you can book an appointment with a nutritionist or a personal trainer and make sure you are not aiming for an unhealthy or unrealistic goal. And community support is always so important, so check in here and tell us how you're doing, how you're feeling...there are tons of women with good advice and open arms eager to help. You can also email me personally through my website and we can chat.

I'm so happy you reached out...you do seem like a grrrl who I'd like to know better. Hopefully we can make that happen.
Love,
Leslie

Leslie,

Very good comments, as always. :) Sometimes it is hard for me to understand eating disorders and that mentality, because I haven't been there myself. But there are days when I can get really down on myself about weight and I can understand how feeling that way on a regular basis could lead to taking drastic measures. It is scary how our society can have such extremes (an obesity epidemic at the same time that women are starving themselves). That's why I love the quote, "There's nothing wrong with the way I look...I'm just not really, really thin." I love the simplicity of that statement.

Anyway, keep up the good work!