Is this diet?

Am I the only one who feels like a neurotic dweeb when I order, say, a Diet Coke at a restaurant and, upon taking my first sip, decide it tastes “too good” to be diet…leading me to believe the waitstaff is conspiring to sneak extra calories into my diet in an attempt to thwart my healthy eating and exercise plans and, at the same time, silently daring me to speak up because they know I’ll feel paranoid doing so?

Please say I’m not the only one.

A similar thing happened to me at Cosi yesterday when I was drinking an Americano – they make them sooo good there – and the woman asked me if I’d like any milk? Why, yes! About an inch of steamed skim, please and thankyouverymuch. She brought the buzz-inducing treat to me about three minutes later whereupon I took a sip of what I swear tasted like coffee mixed with delicious, satiny vanilla ice cream. If I knew how to cock one eyebrow up, indicating cartoon-like suspicion, I would have. Instead, I turned around to see if she was watching me (and no, contrary to what it sounds like, I was not smoking pot at the time) and then took another sip. Candy. Whole milk, I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-whole-milk candy in a cup.

Ashamed of my OCD-like tendencies (but obvs not too ashamed…) I walked up to counter and asked Nikki if she had made my Americano with skim milk. “Yes, just like you ordered,” she said in the most innocent of voices. “An inch of steamed skim milk.”

“Well, then, damn, this is the tastiest coffee drink I have ever had!” I said, taking a sip as if I were starring in a Cosi commercial and plastering a giant smile on my face. I skulked back to my seat, totally unconvinced. My palate has been trained over the year to detect skim from whole milk, Sprite from 7-Up, low-fat from fat-free cheese. How could it be failing me? Or was The Man playing tricks?

I drank the thing, trusting in Nikki’s ability to frigging read a milk jug label. But I didn’t enjoy it – with every swallow, I thought “Am I undoing yesterday’s workout?” I’m the kind of girl who shuns salad dressing in favor of balsamic vinegar, but will blow her wad on Warm Apple Crisp; I’ll eat steamed veggies at lunch but oh, Dairy Queen Cookie Dough Blizzard! There are very specific foods (mostly sweets) that I want to spend my “treat” calories on, and coffee is not one of them. I don’t even like coffee! I’m like a binge drinker who consumes alcohol solely for the purpose of getting drunk: I use coffee to stay awake. That’s it.

OK, so now is where you’re all supposed to calm me down and soothe me by saying, “No, Leslie, you’re not THAT crazy. We all do things like this. We send back Coke masquerading as Diet Coke. We wonder about supposedly “baked” fish that seems coated it oil.” Etc.

Right?

PS This reminds me of an article I wrote for Women’s Health last year where I ate at a bunch of restaurants to see how healthy the food really is – at Ruby Tuesdays, my center cut filet with “steamed broccoli” arrived positively glistening with butter. I asked the waitress (who did not know I was a writer on assignment), “Miss, is this broccoli steamed like it says on the menu?” She just looked at me blankly and said, “Oh, did you want it steamed?” Um, ya think?!

June 27, 2007 at 11:33pm | Permalink | Comments (15)

Comments

No worries!
I definitely ask about Diet Coke all the time. I can't drink regular soda anymore, and will ask for another if I know its not diet. I'm also picky about sugar-free syrup in my non-fat lattes. But I feel that you should get what you ask for in a restaurant - provided you're not looking for pig foraged white truffles at Chili's.

Posted by bostonvixen on June 28 at 09:06am

All I can say is that I LOVE Cosi! I was thinking about it this morning. There is not one remotely close to where I live, but I was treated to its wonderfulness in Evanston, IL last year. Oh Yummy!

Posted by Katie on June 28 at 09:55am

I am at Cosi as we speak. Er...type. Whatever - I'm here and I love it.

Posted by Leslie on June 28 at 10:43am

too funny-I've worried about the diet/regular thing too, but I usually find so much variation in the way they mix the soda syrup to be sure enough to ask. I agree that you should get what you want while eating out, or at least what the menu says.

Posted by Karna on June 28 at 12:06pm

Totally the same as you, here, ma'am. I often get suspicious of restaurant staff. And also, I will definitely eat lean all day just so I can feel less guilty about hitting the DQ later!:) The important thing to remember is that while health is Very important, Life has other aspects that deserve a fuller focus sometimes. You know?

Posted by erose492 on June 28 at 01:09pm

I feel EXACTLY the same way. Reading this post was like reading about myself. In fact, just the other night, my boyfriend and I were eating at Olive Garden and I was absolutely convinced they had brought me regular coke instead of diet - a suspicion brought on by the seemingly too-sweet taste & compounded by the lack-of-lemon-wedge that characteristically accompanies Diet Coke there. I covertly eyed down another waitress (too paranoid to ask our own) and asked if she would kindly bring me another soda, this time diet. When she brought the replacement, it was equally sweet and equally without a lemon wedge. Needless to say, I remained unconvinced and stuck to my water. My boyfriend, completely oblivious, asked, "Can't you drink a regular coke just this once?" to which I responded, "No, you see, I want to indulge myself in 4 breadsticks with dinner and am not willing to settle for 2 breadsticks and a regular coke."

So, no, you are not alone. And all this time I thought I was the only one!

Posted by Alex on June 28 at 01:35pm

I'm with you and Alex on this one!! I am paranoid about that kind of thing too. It drives my husband (and other dining companions) nuts! I have been on the other side as well - I waitressed for 5 years. Mistakes happen. I know there were times when I brought the wrong drink or side dish or whatever and was happy to fix my error when/if it was pointed out. However, there were times when we were out of Diet Pepsi syrup and the management would just tell us to sub regular Pepsi for it and not say anything (and yes I worked for a popular chain restaurant). And, on the RARE occassion, when a customer was being particularly awful (which I am sure you never are), I am embarrassed to admit that the other waitstaff and I did sometimes intentionally mess up people's food. No spit or anything but I do remember one lady being so particular and difficult to work with about all her "diet" specifications that my coworker actually did pour a 1/4 c of oil all over her food before serving it. But that was rare:)

Posted by Charlotte on June 28 at 03:02pm

save yourself the worry... order water

Posted by mndrz on June 28 at 04:39pm

Hmmm...never thought about them messing up the order as I rarely ever finish those drinks anyway, too watered-down for my liking. Now give me a low-fat smoothie or iced-coffee and yea, it may be that they gave me the regular kind, but when it tastes oh, so good, do you really want to worry about it? A decadent treat is good once in awhile.

Posted by dawn on June 29 at 07:43am

I only drink, water, iced tea (unsweetened), or wine when I go out....dressing always on the side-I've had more than my share of drenched salads.
I'm a BIG fan of dessert. I will share, but I don't settle for berries -I have berries at home. I go straight for the tirimisu, warm brownie w/ ice cream, or flan. *sigh* Others may stuff themselves with creams and craziness - I pace myself and enjoy my dessert with a smile.

Posted by blackjade on June 29 at 12:49pm

I am seriously appalled at the former waitstaff that would dare serve regular cola or pour oil over someone's meal. What about diabetics? People with cholesterol problems? I have severe food allergies, and I'm sorry but if you dare use soy sauce anywhere near my plate, I could die. I am a former waitress, too. Even if a customer is awful, you'll feel much worse if they end up ill from what you've served them. Shameful.

Posted by Brett on July 02 at 11:08am

No, you're not the only neurotic one out there. I alway think that I'm not getting fat free dressing when I order it. I watch them put it on my salad carefully, as I order from those NYC delis. I often wonder if others are tricking me with the food they give me as well. So, you're not alone.

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Posted by wow on November 18 at 10:04pm

Dear friend
I have a question if will be great if you can answer me.
I am pregnant and I am living I 1600M altitude but because of my husband’s work .I may go to a ski slope 2days in week without skiing and stay there 4 hours. this slope is in 3700 M altitude .
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Posted by Mary on November 30 at 04:13am

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I am a women's health writer who loves spending time with friends, working out, dancing, reading, Riesling and, of course, writing…including my book Locker Room Diaries: The Naked Truth About Women, Body Image, and Re-Imagining the "Perfect" Body.

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