EDs aren’t just for teenagers

Before I post the second part of the energy/nutrition bar roundup, I wanted to write something about a growing phenomenon that’s been making headlines lately…the increasing number of women in the their 30s, 40s and 50s who suffer from eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia. Usually we thing of these as illnesses affecting teenagers or college students - and they do, in heart-breakingly high numbers - but now, doctors are seeing more and more middle-aged women using the disorders as mechanisms for control in their lives. Of course, that’s not how they (the women) see it - when you’re in the throes of an ED, you simply think you need to lose weight - maybe you can’t shake those baby pounds, or you’re nearing menopause and your body is changing, or you’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer and are adjusting to a new frame. And it doesn’t always have to be physical - it can be a divorce, a new job, your kids going off to college. All of these are major life changes, things that can appear like an ocean flooding in out of nowhere, and hyper-focusing on the scale, or on calorie-counting, are very easy life vests to grab on to.

There’s also the theory that women in their 30s and 40s are facing pressure from the media to look a certain way -- much like teenagers feel they need to measure up to pin-thin starlets like Nicole Ritchie or Mischa Barton, more physically mature women are watching TV and who do they see? Teri Hatcher (or any of the women on DH, for that matter.) The very skinny Ellen Pompeo, the ridiculous Posh Spice, the never-seems-to-age Michelle Pfeiffer. Add these outside influence on the increasing demands in an everyday woman’s life, changes she’s going through at work, home or marriage, and her own body image, and it can be a potent recipe for problems.

It’s a very tough issue. I’ve spoken with women going through these kinds of struggles while pregnant, while raising a family, and it is so hard to hear. They talk about feeling as if they’ll never measure up, that they’ve failed their families, that their bodies are ugly - the same kinds of sentiments you might expect to hear from a high school senior or a college freshman who, like I did, struggled with anorexia during that crucial time change. But when it’s a mother, a grandmother even, saying the words, there’s an extra layer of sadness. No one should have to live like that, in a constant state of self-hatred...certainly not after living through all the angst of being a teenager and emerging with the knowledge and freedom of adulthood. Of course, when the woman in need is an adult, it makes it much more difficult to get them help than, say, a minor. Still, I urge you all to keep an eye out for any friends or family members who:

*Demonstrate a dramatic change in eating patterns
*Lose a significant amount of weight for no apparent reason
*Turn down invitations to dine socially
*Often leaving the table to use the bathroom
*Display major changes in mood

These are all possible signs of an eating disorder. Approach them with love and concern, free of judgment. Have concrete examples ready to show why you’re worried (“I notice you’re spending hours at the gym every day…are you feeling stressed out?” or “Those jeans used to fit so nicely but now they seem baggy - why the sudden weight loss?”)

But I will say, in my opinion, you can’t force someone to get help. You can just do your best to show them you care, keep loving them and hope that time will come when they realize that all of this junk just isn’t worth it.

Comments

interesting. i'm 47 and started binge/purging about 3 months ago. seems to be quite the slippery slope :(

Can't say I've noticed any middle-aged women or indeed men suffering from eating disorders in the UK, so perhaps it's just a US thing. Certainly none of the papers here have published any such reports to my knowledge. That said, I found your article interesting and informative. I'm new to this blogging lark by the way. I've just started writing a blog about the life of a middle aged man. Feel free to check it out and leave a comment on www.sundaysun.co.uk/howay-five-0

I just turned 38, and had been exercising 2-3 hours a day until recently, trying desperately to lose not just the 12 pounds I've put on in the last year (since leaving Los Angeles!), but also the weight I'd been trying to lose since the birth of my second child nearly four years ago. I'm getting help, but those nasty thoughts are sometimes hard to banish.

Gayle and Alyssa - I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling. I can absolutely say I know what you're going through, and it's not a good place to be. I hope you are able to reach out and ask someone for some help, Gayle; b/p is no way to spend your time and there are very effective ways to retrain yourself to deal with the stress that is causing you to do this (like medication or therapy.) Alyssa, I'm so happy for you that's you're already seeking help - sometimes saying something...even on a blog...is the first step. And congratulations on the birth of your second child!

also, Ken, I wanted to welcome you - it's nice to hear from a man every once in a while! I will say, tho, that ED's are a big concern in the UK, particularly amongst older women. Just trying Googling "older women eating disorders UK" and a whole slew of articles will come up, such as this one http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/features/article2222740.ece

I'll be sure to check out your blog!
Leslie

One Way to Look at an Eating Disorder--
When speaking of layers, an onion comes to mind. When you chop an onion, you find layer upon layer of onion skins wrapped around one another, all of varying sizes. Then those layers lead to the soft, tender core of the onion. The core of the onion symbolizes the core or the truth and essence of any story. This core and its on-going layers germinated from a healthy seed that was destined in its future to grow into a complex, multi-layered onion.

P.S.--Hi, Leslie! It's good to blog here again...Do you mind if I post any of my poetry here, regardless of whether or not it's about issues relating to those discussed on this message board? I write about a variety of topics yet am always struggling to find or write any poem or written work relating to this blog's discussions. Thanks!

Muslim Poet - you are always welcome to post your comments as well as your insightful poetry and pose. Or, if you ever have a diet/body image/self-esteem-related poem, you can email me directly thru my website and i can perhaps feature it as a post-of-the-day!
Thanks! good to have you back,
Leslie

Thanks! It's nice to be back. Sometimes I disappear but always come back--like a returning guest in your home (or blog).

Just an added note: I saw this quote from Sally Fields, age 60, in the current (September) issue of Health Magazine and, though it's not related to eating disorders, I think her words definitely speak to older women and body image/self-esteem:

When asked how she stays looking so hot, Field said, "It's hard for me to answer that question. I think I look like dog poop. I'm not any different from a lot of American women who want to put a piece of black velvet over the mirror when they turn 50. The good news is that I'm healthy and I'm here."

Dog poop? Never! This comment saddens me deeply...

Leslie- Is it fair to say that you still struggle with your eating disorder? Your daily menu sounds pretty unhealthy as it is lacking in essential nutrients...