Does every woman have an eating disorder? Q&A with Dr. Stacey

Dr. Stacey is a young, hip clinical psychologist in NYC whose blog, Every Woman Has an Eating Disorder, I've been going to for as long as I can remember knowing what a blog is. She's smart, insightful and has developed a loyal following among readers as she bangs out blogs which will one day (she "hopes"; I know :-) become a book.

Over the weekend, Dr. Stacy and I chatted over the phone for a little friendly cross-examination. Below is my interview with her (plus a quick poll - everyone's new favorite!) and she'll be posting my answers on her blog today, too! If you're looking for a fun writer to add to your list, someone who waxes philosophical about something as absurd as fried Oreos and something as monumental as women's collective loss of body innocence, she's your gal. Just don't forget about me!

WG: Do you really think every woman has an eating disorder?

Dr. S: I think we think about food too much, and we think about our bodies too much. There’s a continuum of having a healthy relationship with food and our bodies, and having somewhat of a distorted relationship, and having a clinical eating disorder. All women fall somewhere on that spectrum.

WG: Do you think it’s rare to find women with healthy attitudes about food and weight?

Dr. S: Honestly, I do. My perception might be skewed because I see patients all day…but I almost feel like it’s the norm to hear women complain about their bodies. I think for just that sort of "Every Woman" eating disorder issue, it’s socio-cultural: magazines, the media, the Britney Spears performance. In a sense, it’s a way women can connect, by putting ourselves down.

Quick reader poll:

WG: How do you find inspiration for your blog topics?

Dr. S: How do I not? Every single morning I just have to wake up and look at the computer and there’s something for me to write about. The other day I was at the store, Anthropologie, trying on clothes and there were couple of women in their early 20s next to me having one of those dressing room "freakouts" - I could hear them saying “Oh, my god, I can’t fit into a size six anymore!” I wanted to just throw my card over the dressing room door, but of course, because of professional and ethical reasons, I can’t do that.

Actually, I see people all the time - women at the gym who look really unhealthy, a girl who looks like she might pass out at any given time. There’s such a pull to say something, but I shut my mouth, because it’s not my job to approach people on the street.

WG: What are some of your favorite posts?

Dr. S: I really like the Weight Watchers post - when I went to the meeting. I like that one because I learned so much, like the fact that the average attendant at a Weight Watchers meeting in NYC is probably a Size Six. I may be exaggerating, but there really weren’t that many fat people. And I like the dog one. Also, the one about body innocence is a favorite. How far back do you have to go to where you weren’t aware of your body or to where you had a good relationship with food? Like, some people have to go all the way back to when they were three and at the beach with their families.

WG: Have you personally ever struggled with an eating disorder?

Dr. S: I knew you were going to ask me that! I will say I fall into the “Every Woman” category in that it’s a struggle we all have. I am one of those women— it’s part of the title of my blog. I don’t think it would be a very effective book to say, "Every Woman Has an Eating Disorder… Except Me."

WG: Is it hard for you when women write in asking for help? How do you draw the line between blogger and psychologist?

Dr. S: Personally, I feel a sense of obligation, but professionally, it’s the opposite - I can’t be providing professional advice over e-mail. In fact, I’ve referred a few readers to professional help other than myself. But I do think the blog world can be really helpful. People are finding a network - kind of like a support group. I would always recommend therapy - even if you don’t have an eating issue, it’s always good to learn about yourself. And I think [toward the goal of having a healthy relationship with our bodies], if we can capture moments when we’re using our bodies but not aware of them, that’s really useful. For example, I was recently in the ocean, body surfing with a friend. There was no room or time to be aware of our bodies. We were watching the waves and getting sun and focusing on what our bodies were doing, rather what they looked like.

Comments

Hey Leslie,
I enjoyed reading both yours and drstacey's answers. That must have been a great conversation/interview for you both.

you're both wacky

skinny girls annoy me, cant they see that they look disgustin?! you need 2 interveiw skinny girls and find out WHY IN THE WORLD they think they look GOOD! lol.

going off that last one why in the world do over weight girls who have their fat rolls hanging over their jeans and their thong pulled why up think they look good? isn't that as nasty as super skinny bones showing girls? oh and I think we need to better clairify what kind of skinny you mean 110 to 120 skinny or 100 to 95 skinny and they think they look good because they have "a distorted relationship" with food and how it relates to their body and body image which ties into self esteem. what do you think about your self do you love everything about your self, really love wouldn't change anything because you think you look amazing all the time no matter what mood you're in? Until you get to that point don't judge other people about how they think about themselves!

I am Calina. I mostly shop at Couponalbum.com for purchasing beauty items at discounted prices.........There are so many offers available related to the beauty and home & garden products ............!!!!

I kind of agree with you...women in our society focus so much on food, exercise, and looks that we really are all kind of obsessed to some extent. I wish I could "rewind" my brain back to when I was in high school and didn't care so much about how my body looked. Back then I was a size 12-14 and I didn't obsess about food or exercise. Of course, I like my body better now that I do exercise, but I'd like to get over my food obsessions.

I'm going with Calina on this one "......!!!!"

I love Dr. Stacey and her blog! (Even quoted her in a HuffPo article!) I'm not a regular reader but I'm always glad when I do get over there. And this interview finally reminded me to put her on my feed. I love how she wants to accost sick-looking women on the street for commando therapy. I totally have that same urge. Except I'm not a doctor. Still though;)

Um, I can't find your interview with Dr. Stacey on her site! But palmtreechick read it so it must be there somewhere. Do you have the permalink, Leslie?

I agree that it seems as though nearly every woman has at some point had some kind of problem related to eating and to her weight and all...its a good thing theres people like Dr. Stacey to help!

This is a fantastic idea and I am sure it will help quite a few people out there!

Yeah, Ty-Ty's brick shithouse curves are making me sing! Daaaaamn, girl! "I put my hand upon your hip;

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