Does Santa need gastric bypass?

Oy vey.

Apparently Santa's eaten one too many midnight cookies and now he's catching flack for his muffin top.

The acting U.S. Surgeon General recently said in an interview that Kris Kringle needs to slim down - as a role model for children, the doctor reasons, Claus should be in better shape than your everyday fat man in a red felt suit.

In other saggy Santa news, Tim Connaghan, founder of the International University of Santa Claus, has actually surveyed more than 300 Santas and - to the surprise of, well, nobody - he found the average weight was 256 pounds.

Adding to the glut of info surrounding Santa's gluttony, the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas (oh, what I would do to be a fly on the wall during their annual holiday party) agrees with the acting Surgeon General that Santa is too jolly for his own good. The AORBS has suggested to its 800 members that they lose weight in time for their upcoming July convention, in order to “set an example.”

While I agree the childhood and adult obesity are absolutely problems that need to be addressed, I'm just not sure if attacking a fictitious holiday symbol is the most effective or practical way to go about it. Surely there are broader-based public health programs to help teach kids about healthy eating, as opposed ganging up on Santa? Maybe I'm not the best person to answer the following question, because I grew up spending Christmas at a movie theater, followed by Chinese food along with 100 other people with last names like Rubenstein and Rosenberg, but: Wouldn't a skinny Santa change the feeling of the holiday? Make it, I don't know, so California?

Ho, ho, ho!

Comments

First of all, every kid I know loves Santa but I've never met one yet who wants to *be* Santa. Seriously - who says "I want to be someone who only exists for one short month, has to read letters from every kid on the planet and only gets to give the gifts"? I think children emulating Santa is the least of our worries.

Secondly - The Santa at our mall in Seattle was of the skinny variety (real beard too!) and my kids never seemed to mind. Although I stopped taking them because when they're little they're just terrified of him and as they got older they started asking uncomfortable questions. I hate lying to my kids so, yeah, I'm one of those Santa-is-a-symbol-of-Christmas-but-he's-not-really-real parents. I guess that makes me anti-Santa in general. I want a t-shirt:)

I agree with Charlotte. Kids love Santa, but that doesn't mean they would love to be like Santa.

Of course I'm not sure how accurate this is, but all the drawings I've ever seen of the real Saint Nicholas show him as rather slim. I wonder where the tradition of Santa as a jolly fat man came from?

Oh, for crying out loud! I'm all in favor of fighting obesity in our kids, but is going after Santa and the Cookie Monster the best we can do? Sheesh.

OK, so let's say we make him skinny. What next? Maybe he should get rid of his toy factory. 'Cause he's up there at the north pole, and all the fumes from the paints the elves use are thinning out the ozone layer.
And the reindeer! He's forcing them into harnesses and making them fly all over the world! Can you say "animal cruelty?"
And who is he to decide who's been naughty or nice? Sounds like he's a dictator!
Honestly, if the guys who PLAY Santa want to lose weight, that's their decision. But for cryin' out loud, leave the fictional fella alone!

Well being Jewish, i never thought much of Santa. But i think kids enjoy the idea of a big jolly man giving presents, not so much a role model. I rather REAL people set a good example like those too thin celebs that have a mauch bigger impact of young ones that a fictional character like Santa. BTW, this may be just me, but i sort of hate when malls and dept stores have "hunky" santas with huge chested elves. sorry, but seeing that makes me a bit squirmish.

Hungry Waif, Amen to all that!
(P.S. I love your blog.)

i think this world is just goin a little too crazy with this obese thing.. yes.. its an issue in this country.. but so is anorexia.. seriously.. where do we draw the line!?
what amazes me is that i always hear someone sayin somethin about this or that bein a bad influence.. but when do the parents come in~!? where are they to monitor how the children are eatin?! how they are dietin.. we are always quick to blame someone else.. but never ourselves.. think its time that parents start takin toll of their childrens health and so on and so forth.. and not say that santa or any other figure needs to lose weight or change their ways to conform to the mentality of the worlds sick way of what is acceptable and what is not. just enjoy the holidays for what it is really suppose to mean and not worry about shape of a man who visits only once a year.