The devil on my (toned) shoulder
This morning I woke up at 5:54am (on purpose, natch) and so did not want to crawl out of bed and dress for the gym. I blindly slapped the alarm clock and managed to hit the Snooze button, buying me a few precious minutes of pseudo-sleep. Then that freaking dumb-but-oh-so-catchy song, "AppleBottom jeans, boots with the fur..." blared on, shaking my very soul to the core. As I found myself mouthing the words, "Shorty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low..." - much to my sleeping husband's pleasure, I'm sure - I started thinking how nice it would be to not workout this morning.
I debated - one the one hand, I was already awake and my gym bag was packed my the front door. Plus, I had plowed through a post-nookie box of granola just five hours earlier, so I'd have energy to burn. On the other hand, I was in bed, in my birthday suit (just being honest! And we have high thread count sheets so I kind of have to), with a warm body next to me practically begging to be snuggled. The workout could wait until tomorrow, I reasoned.
But then I thought about the fact that we'll be in Mexico soon and I probably won't be hitting the gym too much while I'm there. That, combined with visions of non-stop guacamole and the blazing sun shining down on my bikini-clad tush got me out from under the covers and I slogged through 30 minutes of Elliptical at the gym.
These kind of internal battles go on all the time in women who workout - we go back and forth, some of us trying to justify a skipped cardio session, others being forgiving but then feeling guilty about ditching yoga. I recently stumbled upon this very amusing account of one woman's inner dialogue and thought I'd share because, wel, it's just so true.
"This is an Actual Conversation that occurred in Crabby's brain several days ago.
Crabby: I know it's getting to be time for the gym but I don't think I'll go today. I hate the gym.
Crabby's Conscience: Just go.
Crabby: But I don't wannnnna. I go to the gym plenty. Leave me alone.
Crabby's Conscience: You're due for aerobics today. A long one, remember you said? And you're way way overdue for weights. You haven't done them since Monday. You can't skip out again.
Crabby: F*ck off. Go away.
Crabby: Are you gone?
Crabby: Good.
(A minute or so later):
Crabby's Conscience: OK, now it's really time to go. Your caffeine will wear off.
Crabby: Shut up!
Crabby's Conscience: You'll be so happy once you're done.
Crabby: But I'll be so MISERABLE while I'm doing it! I'll go for a walk later. Scram!
(A few more minutes later)
Crabby's Conscience: So here's an idea.
Crabby: WTF? I said go away!
Crabby's Conscience: Suppose you just go to the gym and do a little of everything. A really quick aerobics. Only half your weights.
Crabby: But I'm supposed to do a long aerobics! And what about the other half of the weights? I can't do just part of a workout!
Crabby's Conscience: It's better than no workout. C'mon. Think of it as "fun sized." An "express" trip to the gym.
Crabby: You've been reading my blog! That's really sneaky. But hmmm, "fun sized"... that does sound oddly less miserable that a regular workout..."
In the end, Crabby McSlacker wound up working out for about half the time she normally does. So, kind of like what I did this morning (though 30 minutes is NOT half of a normal workout for me...I just mean I was way half-assed on the Elliptical and skipped stretching [bad girl!], crunches and focused more on the Jamie-Lynn controversy airing on CNN than on my exertion level.)
And now, I'm tired.
Comments
Thanks for the mention, Leslie!
And I'm really glad I wandered over-- I'm finding so much interesting stuff over here.
(Like... the ball bra! Who knew?)
lol I loved that conversation she had with her conscience (sp? sorry), I do that talk with myself almost every day :(
This was totally the convo in my head this morning, but the wierd thing it went sorta like this,
Conscience: Get up you lazy bum, come on, even Crabby did it!
Me: Yes, but she had a purpose, her conscience is amusing, your just a pain in the ass
Conscience: and your just looking for an excuse not to get up.
Me: true....but sleep is so nice
conscience: dude join the bandwagon, leslie and crabby gave it, come on... peer pressure...
Me: ugh...i love and hate you conscience, i hate you right now, but i'll love you after the workout when my bums all nice a firm :)
