Viva la Mexico!
(Caveat: I do not speak Spanish so I have no idea what "Viva la Mexico" means, if anything, but it sounds good so there ya go.)
So, I'm in Nueva Vallarta, Mexico, which is supposed to me the "new school" area of town but is actually just a gigantic compound of huge, beautiful resorts where one can roam for hours and still not find the gym but a mango margarita is always within arm's reach. Slurp.
Our trip here was (not) fun - stuck on the tarmac at O'Hare for three hours and, just before taking off, our captain informed us that the airport's luggage system failed and only 75% of our flight's bags were on board, but we had to leave anyway to avoid violating employee work hour rules. Sweet. (PS against all odds, our three pieces of luggage made it, staving off a gigantic potential hissy fit on my part.)
As many of you know/may have guessed from my last name and fantastic sense of humor, I'm Jewish, so Christmas in Mexico is a sort of rite of passage. What else am I supposed to do - eat Chinese food and get the crap scared out of me at Old Country For No Men? That is, like, so last year...and the year before..and the ten years before. If you need any further proof of just how popular this area is for My People around this time, look no further than my flight from yesterday. It was like being at temple on Rosh Hashana – everyone named Cohen or Rosenthal, lots of kippahs (those little round caps) and a pair of sisters singing “David Melech Y’Israel” at the top of their lungs.
I had a monster headache from sitting on the plane for so long with just water and Sprite Zero to sustain me (oh, I did have two McDonalds Fruit and Yogurt Parfaits with me – dah dah dah dah dah. I’m lovin’ it.) so I shoved my headphones on and lost a few brain cells watching an in-flight movie called The Gift. Eventually, we landed and took a cab to meet the fam at our hotel, which is muy nice and brings me cut-up fruit and Coca Lights and leaves delish dark chocolate Hershey’s Kisses on my pillow.
I hope everyone out there has a wonderful holiday (if you celebrate Christmas) or is doing something fun and relaxing. Tonight I’ll mentally toast y’all at dinner and if you hear a far-off shrieking in the distance, don’t worry – it’s just me freaking out because shrimp have eyeballs here and the waiters love to dangle the suckers over our heads until we pass out.
Feliz Navidad!
El Leslie
Comments
If it makes you feel better, we went to Mexico with the whole family 3 years ago. Our kids were 3 and 7 months at the time. We drove from L.A. to San Francisco, took a red eye to Chicago (with a 3-hour layover), flew to Cancun, took a 1-hour bus ride to Playa del Carmen, then a ferry to Cozumel (on which our 3 yr-old barfed), and a taxi to the house in Cozumel. It took us about 27 hours in total, and I was the only Jew there!
But we had a blast! Hope you have a WONDERFUL time!!!!!!!!
Have a great time, and enjoy your eyeball shrimp! (shiver)
Happy Jewish Christmas! I married a non-Jew who not only makes the most amazing Seder but on Christmas makes a standing rib roast and Yorkshire pudding to die for! Oh, and I managed a 60 min walk this morn! Yay me! Happy Holidays!
Ha, you should read the post i just wrote about holiday woes, anyhow, i feel "in the loop" again because i am the only jew i think at my culinary school and they wouldn't stop asking me, so what are you doing for Christmas??? the pathetic thing is that instead of spending somewhere nice like mexico, i spent it watching dewey cox ALONE (but in the company of other jews, of course, and btw the movie kinda stank). Is it really a tradition for jews to order chinese take out on christmas, my friend just told me that and now that i read the post i am begining to think i am missing something about these underground traditions?
Alyssa - that sounds insanely awful. At least the payoff was worth it - way to see the margarita half-full!
Crabby - "Shiver" is right. Those things look like something that would poke out of your stomach in an Alien movie. Yikes!
Gayle - is Yorkshire pudding actually pudding or something else? Please explain. And please invite me over for your next Seder.
Hungry Waif - you don't know about Chinese food on Christmas? For shame! (kidding) I'll have my bubbie give you a call and fill you in.
My maternal grandparents are orthodox Jewish but my whole father's side is Christian (Mormon). Try that for entertaining family reunions! The only way I could be any more freakish is if I married a Muslim. But the upside: Hannukah AND Christmas. yeah, baby! Strangely my grandma (bubbe) is in Mexico this Christmas and I never figured out why she always went to Mexico for the holidays until you explained it to me now, Leslie! If you see her, tell her hi for me! (She's probably one of the 80-somethings in the hot tub...)
Have a great trip and may all your luggage make the return trip with you as well!
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