Back from the bowels of hell

Just keeping you all up to date on my gastrointestinal issues, which have been truly stimulating (to say the least) over the past week and I know are at the forefront of all your pretty minds.

While in Puerta Vallarta, some nasty little bacteria decided my stomach seemed like a sweet pad to chill at (in all fairness, it is a nice stomach. *blush*). The result: A mild case of Moctezuma's Revenge, also called, Montezuma's Revenge or, as I affectionately refer to it, "The Reason I Will Never %&*!ng Return To Mexico." It's estimated that 40% of all foreign travellers who vaycay in Mexico are saddled by the bacterial infection and considering the fact that four of the 10 of our family wound up puking/pooping copious amounts, I'd say Wikipedia's estimate is right on freaking target. And it's not like we stayed at a youth hostel or ate live catfish we found swimming in a gutter somewhere - we stayed at a very posh resort, drank lots of bottled water and while we did partake in ice cubes and salad rinsed in hotel H2O, we were constantly swilling and alcohol and I could have sworn that I learned in graduate school that vodka kills 99% of all bacteria. Bah!

The badness ran its course in about four days but suffice it to say, I spent the better part of that alternating between zoning out to Project Runway marathons and racing to the bathroom, cursing in Spanish. And I don't even speak Spanish.

A strange theory did enter my mind while sick and I wanted to run it by all of you - or at least, the three of you have continued reading despite the gross nature of this blog. Here's what I was thinking: I was on vacation, chowing on foods I don't normally eat. Greasy chips, still glistening with warm oil. Spicy guacamole. Fish carpaccio. Daquiries. Real chocolate ice cream. You get the point. After five days of such gastronomic indulgence, I started feeling bad. Soon followed by a feeling of complete and total emptiness. All I could eat for the last two days was crackers and even those made me cramp up like a premenstrual 15-year-old. Thank God for Pepto capsules (I absolutely detest the chewable pink chalkiness of the tablets. Even if they are pink). Without them, I never would have survived the plane ride home. As a sidenote, noise-cancelling headphones would've been fab considering the two dolphin-like children who squaled and sqwaked non-stop for four hours.

So I'm thinking, even though the obvious answer is that a bug invaded my system, do you think there's an possibility that perhaps my body was so perplexed by the different foods being introduced in such rapid-fire succession, it decided to send a major "Chillax" message to me by forcing it all out? Or is this just delusional thinking?

On an obnoxiously positive note, my abs were way flat and sunkissed tan for those four days of toilet-hopping. Gotta look for the silver lining in these things, right?

Comments

Sorry to hear you got sick on your Mexian vacation! :( I went to a very nice resort not far from Cancun, but I never got sick once...and for that I was very pleased. I kind of do agree with your thought that it was your body's way of telling you to slow down. That's what my body does in my very own home when I overeat on naughty things I shouldn't ;) Hope you're feeling a lot better now and I really hope that this doesn't deter you from going to Mexico again, it's a lot of fun when you aren't sick!! :( Love those daquiris too, sooooo good! hehe

I never really thought about it until now but my body definitely "reacts" whenever I eat anything outside of my regular foods in copious amounts which generally only happens when I travel. And I am not talking about travelling to exotic places like Mexico. No, these are places like Wisconsin and Ohio. LOL!

It could be that you were eating differently, but seeing as 3 other people in your family also got sick, it may well be a little, nasty bug. Either way, so sorry that it happened, and glad you are on the mend!

So nice to know you finally met my children, Leslie! Except I have 3, not 2. It's okay, the baby was probably hiding under your seat to give you a "stereo" effect.

As for your gastrointestinal woes, I have a similar reaction whenever I eat a lot really fatty/spicy food. Excruciating pain, massive diarrhea, I'm pretty much out for the rest of the day. My doctor told me I have IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). I don't medicate it but yoga really works wonders. Anyhow, I think eating a lot of junk when you aren't used to it can really do a number on your tummy.

I hope you feel better soon! I thought Moctezuma's revenge was only supposed to last 3-4 days...

ugh,that does not sounds like a great end (no pun intended!) to your vacation! I'm glad you are feeling better.

My body definitely feels "it" when I've been eating too much grease/sugar and not exercising. It makes me realize how bad people (who eat like that all the time) must feel.

i love, love, love that ecard! hilarious!

It definitely sounds like there was a bug involved, but generally speaking there's something to your theory that a person's system can simply get overloaded. This happened to me one day shortly before the holidays hit: We had had random goodies all day in the breakroom at work, included rich truffles. And then, brilliantly, I had Mexican fast food for dinner, leading to . . . intestinal disaster.

Heh, your "silver lining" reminds me of Bridget Jones in the Edge of Reason, as she optimistically figures that while she is locked up in a Thai prison, her thighs have "gone down a lot."

On another GI-related note, I've got some info for all of you on snagging free samples of Fiber One cereal (which packs a whopping 57% of your daily needs for fiber!) To receive a sample, visit http://eatbetteramerica.com/fiber

I did!

Most of your comments already say what I was going to. That foods outside of your norm can do that to you. Chances are you had the bug as well but perhaps you were knocked out a little more because of the vacation eating?

I don't know you, but I would guess that you eat healthy, clean whole foods most of the time? These are things that the human body was made to process and digest. Unfortunately, a lot of what is out there as 'food' (and which, incidently, tastes extraordinary) are things that the body was never meant to digest.

Hope you're feeling better!

mh...i personally don't think that you body would respond in such an extreme way...food is a good thing ;)
when i overeat, i just feel absolutely bloated and lazy, and this feeling comes a lot from my mind. but puking is something else!