Gym class heroes...not

Crabby McSlacker over at Cranky Fitness just wrote about gym class memories and her stories got me thinking about my own experiences. And by “experiences,” I mean “being picked last for team sports, avoiding inadvertent locker room showings of my training bra and being clocked at 0.0 seconds in the Presidential Physical Fitness Test bent arm hang.”

Ahh…memories.

Truthfully, I have awful memories of PE - I was bigger and (unknowingly) suffering from hypothyroidism which, combined with a total lack of athletic ability, made me a social pariah in gym class. I remember running "The Mile" for the Presidential Physical Fitness Test in sixth grade (actually, "running" should be in quotes, as I walked most of it. This was due to both low stamina and a serious dedication towards my wall of hairspray-shellacked bangs). I think I finished it in 15 minutes and was sweaty for the next six periods of class. If someone had told me I’d be voluntarily running numerous miles a week when I was older, I’d have told them , “Yeah, right! Gag me with a spoon!” Then I would have danced around to the NKOTB which was perpetually emanating from my boombox.

In high school, things didn’t get much better. I stuck through gym for my freshman year, at which point we were given the choice of subbing in dance. Stunningly, while I possess the ability to trip over a cornflake and land flat on my face, I can hold my own in dance. Some might even call me graceful (thanks, Grandpa!) I loved dance, in all my black leather jazz shoe glory – except for my senior year when this bitch Krissy decided to make up a rumor that I was a slut and torment me in the dressing room. Mind you, I had never even had sex with a boy at the time – I did partake in my fair share of kissing, however – but I was still too young to embrace the S word and instead let her bully me. All 5’2” of her. I heard she got knocked up immediately following high school and dropped out of college. Sweet, sweet karma…you taste so good.

What are your memories of P.E.?

PS Thanks for the inspiration, Crabby!

Comments

Ugh, I hated and dreaded P.E. with every fiber in my non-athletic being! I was a shy nerdo smartypants in the eyes of most of my classmates, and not particularly coordinated. I did, however, take perverse pleasure in kicking most of their asses during the Mile Test. And when we did that bizarre "Aerobics" segment (boys were, of course, exempted, *cough!*), I finally got to show off the skills I had been secretly honing doing Denise Austen videos at home for months. This triumph was unfortunately somewhat diminished by the fact that we had to aerobicize to "Sweatin' with the Oldies."

Thanks Leslie!

It's funny, like you I "possess the ability to trip over a cornflake and land flat on my face" (very funny) but my klutzyness made me more awful at dancing things than sports. I was a tomboy though, and the whole idea of "dance" seemed yucky back then.

That's what's great about being a grown up--we get to do what we like, not what someone tells us to.

Hey Leslie!
Would you ever consider wiring an entry about hypothyroidism? I'm also hypothyroid and I am curious to know your story and experiences.

Woohoo! Go 0.0 second arm hang! I'm still weak in the upper body, but got all that muscle in the legs.

I hated PE in school. I didn't feel like I was good at anything, so I didn't try (because it's better to seem like you're no good because you don't care rather than because you lack talent, that was my reasoning). Now that I am more active, I feel like I missed out. It might have been fun to be on the cross country or track team. But then, I would never EVER want to go back and do high school all over again. =P

Long-time reader, first-time commenter! Wow... this really took me back. I was a too-tall, too-gawky teenager with acne and braces with headgear. (That's right, headgear.) I was (and still am) so terribly uncoordinated that gym class was sheer torture. My worst memory is volleyball. Everyone thought I'd be good at it because I was tall. No, I actually got the ball spiked into my face on the first day of school my sophomore year, splitting my lip against my braces. That was the end of my volleyball career. God, I'm glad to be grown up!

I too was a phy-ed reject. I used to pray for rain, a fire alarm or even a natural disaster to get me out of being the freak in a one-girl circus. (I was right there with ya on the 0.0 arm hang). I ran my mile in 6:30 but only because my gym teacher was running behind me on the track throwing footballs at my head (really). I puked at the finish line.

I think all that could have been avoided if I'd had a decent gym teacher - one who remembered how awkward adolescence can be.

PS> I saw NKOTB in concert!!! Bangs and all;)

I hated PE. I have horrible memories and even now I scoff when people refer to me as athletic (only based on the fact that you can tell I go to the gym, not after witnessing my feeble attempts to hit a softball). I was always last or second to last to be picked for a team, and I hated those stupid presidential fitness tests. My teacher would post the results outside the gym for all to see. Humiliating. The only positive memory I have is one time when I was picked last for a dodgeball team and in some freak occurance I managed to also be the last one standing. Woohoo!

ok so clearly I was not alone in my pain. At least we can all laugh/laugh-cry about it now. Why DO they have kids pick teammates one by one? Even when they do that shiz on Project Runway, I feel bad for the model who gets chosen last.

Blair, I will do something on hypoT soon, no problem.

Jen - thanks for posting!!

I hated PE when I was in school, but I would love to have it now!

I walk by a middle school and see the kids just standing around during PE class and cringe. I want to scream at them to get moving! I guess I am just jealous that they have a full hour to exercise and aren't using it!! :)

Oh my goodness. Sometimes I think I suffer from a form Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome from my high school gym class. Seriously, when I visit my hometown now, eleven years later, and encounter my gym teacher in the grocery store, I have a mild panic attack and have to hide behind a Pringles display (true story, LOL!).

But gym class for me turned into some bizarre reality show called "Let's humiliate the overweight, uncoordinated, nerdy girl!" I do not know how many times I had to blink back tears after being belittled by my teacher and mocked by my classmates. And the gymnastics unit was the worst. Even if Bela Karolyi were at my side coaching me, my keister was not going over the vault.

The funny thing is that now I am in great physical condition and enjoy working out. Funny what happens when you don't have someone berating you for not being Ms. Naturally Fit. But I still have no urge to vault any time soon.

It has been over 40 years and I still have the most vivid memory of my high school gym teacher. I was 14 years old and had to wear a 20 pound body cast to help correct a spinal curvature. Obviously-to me, and apparent to most, I was unable to actively participate in tumbling, however my gym teacher thought otherwise and gave me an 'F' for the quarter. I cannot imagine that happening in this day and age but I will never forget the anger and humiliation that I felt and the unbelieveable lack of understanding that this woman--who was supposed to be shaping the minds, attitudes and bodies of teen-agers--showed toward me and others with permanent or temporary disablities.

"[insert last name here], get your hair out of your eyes!"

I was never active on a regular basis until I started going to the gym about 7 months ago. Not to sound cliche, but it changed my life. :)

I found your blog via Back in Skinny Jeans!