Inspire me, please!

Hi everyone,
So...I've basically been wanting to write a second book ever since Locker Room Diaries was published in June of 2006. I have brainstormed. I have held informal focus groups (aka Gotten my girlfriends liquored up and bombarded them with questions.) I have scoured the web and spent so much time at Barnes & Noble that I am now on their "Most Wanted for Flipping Through Self-help Books But Never Buying" list.

I need inspiration.

This, my lovely, intelligent, fabulosity-infused friends, is where you come in.

What in the freaking hell should I write about?

A few keys:
a) Must be non-fiction (I tried fiction once and ended up with three pages of baaad chick-lit-ish drivel about a publicist named Ellie who is always late and...well, that's as far as I got.)
b) Must be woman-related in some way. Note: This does not mean it has to be about body image but I'd like to write about something that has to do with the XXes of the world.
c) Should allow me to use both my smarts, my sense of humor and my own personal experiences.

That's about it. What are you looking for in a fun, hip, must-read book, Weighting Game readers? What would make you knock an old lady over so you could grab the final copy off a shelf in Borders, clutching it to your chest while maniacally scraming, "It's Leslie Goldman's new book!!!"? I'm talking frenzy reminiscent of the Cabbage Patch storm of 1981 here.

Please, talk to me. The winner gets their name placed somewhat prominently in the Acknoweldegements section of whater tome they may inspire.

Thanks and love,
Leslie

Comments

Girly Geeks!

Being a geek is still seen as something negative and the "old" definition doesn't seem fitting anymore (I did a post about it here: http://tinyurl.com/2vwyuh). Being a geek doesn't mean you per se like computers and stuff like that, but that you are passionate about a certain subject. Yes, you can have computer geeks, but you can also have movie geeks, health geeks or even knitting geeks.

I would love to see a book that somehow focuses on this. Maybe with interviews or something like that.

What about a book on recovered women?
I think that is something the world of EDs and society in general is severely lacking. I know that if I were still in the depths of despair that my ED was, reading about strong recovered women that I could cling to and aspire to be like would be amazing.

I agree with Rachel. I would like to hear about how women move on after having an ED. In high school I was bulimic, and technically I'm recovered now because I don't throw up my food and I weigh a normal amount, but I still think about food, calories, and working out constantly. I always weigh myself morning and night. I literally can't remember the last time an entire hour passed when I didn't think about food. How do other people break that mindset? (I'm 25 now, high school was a long time ago.) I would definitely read a book like that.

I'm always interested in the social impact on the eating behaviors of women. Just the other day we had a seminar where lunch was provided. They ordered 5 pizzas for 10 women and 2 men. We ended up with a ton of pizza left over. The woman that ordered the pizza said she figured 3 pieces per person. I laughed and told her that women only eat 3 pieces of pizza in private. At a business luncheon,oh no. Just one for me, please. I only eat one slice of pizza at a time, thanks. On a side note, the two men in the group had 3 pieces.

Hmmm it might help to know more about what you have experience with.

Off the top of my head, one thing I *know* you have experience with, is women bloggers :). Women like yourself, Stephanie at Back in Skinny Jeans, Jeanette Fulda of Pasta Queen, et al, who combine a semi-geeky medium (blogging) with the pursuit of a better understanding of their bodies, fitness, and mental health. Maybe throw in an analysis of why you think it is that there are so few men that utilize blogging as a medium for weight-loss support (John Is Fit is one of the few I can think of, whereas I can easily call up dozens of women bloggers pursuing fitness).

I'll definitely keep brainstorming on this one. I know you'll write a fabulous book, whatever the topic.

Hmm.. how about something on how the majority of women all have/suffer from some form of disordered eating. I think I've read that, and I don't think I have an eating disorder, but I certainly think about food and working out more than what is considered healthy.

While you're looking to write a non-fiction piece, I think it would be really interesting to write a book as though you met the younger version of yourself. Take yourself through your childhood, adolescence, early adulthood - what advice would you give your younger self? How do you view the events of the past through the eyes of the adult you? That way you can talk not just about body and image, but the other things that make you who you are today. Just a thought...

I would love to read a book about the Hollywood weight phenomenon. How it started, why it continues...who is perpetuating the size zero standards, the men who run the movie studios or the women who starve themselves to look good for these men and criticize other women (Nicole Richie and her-don't let anybody in over 100lbs, scale at the door-party). I would LOVE to read a book about that whole insanity culture.

Leslie - you are going to write a fanTASTIC book and I'm already eyeing old ladies to see which ones look easy to knock over:)

A few ideas:
- The ADULT epidemic (both adult-onset & returned) of eating disorders. This could probably go hand-in-hand with the recovered ED's as suggested by several people above.

- How sexual assualt & eating disorders go together. I'm constantly amazed at how many ED'ed women have been assaulted & how many victims of abuse go on to have EDs.

- Maybe a book on navigating college as a hip, healthy, confident woman. You know, how to avoid common pitfalls like ED's, the freshman 15, date rape, TAs that don't speak English. You get the idea.

Hope this helps! I know anything you write will be hilarious and I can't wait!!

wow, these are some great ideas! I really like the idea about following someone who has recovered from ED. I would love to know how someone really gets "over" their issues. (especially when I read about celebrities who are now suddenly OK. Katharine McPhee comes to mind. She was bulimic before American Idol but perfectly fine afterwards? huh?)

On that same note, I am always amazed by the men in my life who do not understand the connection that women have with food. For me, it's emotional. For them, it is just food. They think I am weird and making it all up. (sigh) Something alone that avenue?

hopefully this helps!

I agree with the idea of speaking with women who have recovered. I have "recovered" from my ED, and would love to tell my story and how I did it.

Another idea-this past weekend while driving home from skiing with my BF and his guy friends we started a game called "Top 5" where you just name off your fav "top 5" of all these different categories. One of them was actors- male and female. The weirdest thing was that the guys could not figure out who their fav actresses were because all they thought about was them being sexual, and they couldn't differentiate between an actress being a good actress, or just being a good actress cause she was "hot". But we had no problem naming off dozens and dozens of good male actors. This got me thinking of the serious problem that Hollywood has done in portraying women in mostly a sexy way, whereas a man can just be a good actor without having to look a certain way. Why is this? I couldn't even blame them for their thinking cause its true! Anyways, thats some food for thought!

Melissa, the reasons women are portrayed the way they are are many and varied (I could write a book on THAT!). But the story you tell shows us just how well Hollywood does in portraying women as sexual objects, not human beings. Even the better-written roles are cast with "hot" women. How many women can we name who have had a career like Clint Eastwood's or Paul Newman's? How many women over the age of 50 do we see on screen with any regularity? (I can count them on one hand).
As far as the size zero phenomenon, it's not just men who perpetuate it (as Kyle pointed out). It's amazing how many female casting directors directors, and producers yell and scream at actresses to lose weight.
A lot of it is a power play; they get off on being in control, and knowing that other people will do what they say. And actors, for the most part, are an insecure bunch (I know, I was one for a loooong time!).

I think you SHOULD write a book Alyssa!! Or if you're not into the writing thing, tell me your story and I'LL write the book. You gotta get your story out there, girl:)

Oh my gosh, you ladies are incredible!! Thank you so much for putting the time and thought into helping me come up with what I suspect will be some very wel-received ideas. Please do keep them coming whenever the mood strikes and I'll keep you posted. Really - this is so wonderful and I hope each and every one of you knows how much I appreciate it.
Lots of love,
Leslie

i like these ideas, of course--they're great! i also have noticed you mentioning your husband and how supportive he is a few times, and along with an above post on how men do not get our food-fixation...maybe how women can deal w/ our issues and our men at the same time?

a recovered ED book would be neat, but from my personal experience i think a book should be written about EDNOS, because i sure as hell had one growing up. its a hush hush issue and working in hollywood, i see it all the time.
Anyhow, another neat idea would be to write a childrens book! one with a positive message about feminism, body appreciation, and true girl power!

Of course, I'm cheerleading for a book about how women move forward from an ED, as also EDs are not a "young woman's" issue any more. There's a growing trend of older adult women with EDs. I cool twist would be, What would you tell your 19 year old self knowing what you know now.

...Or maybe a book about orthorexia, which isn't in the DSM yet, but sure seems to apply to a lot of people.

I'd LOVE to see a book that finds a happy medium for women who want to lose weight, but also want to love and accept their bodies as they are. Kind of a cross between "Biggest Loser" and "How to Look Good Naked."

Instead of focusing on the obvious and unrealistically skinny images of women in the media, I'd be interested in reading a book about the comeback of the "normal" looking woman through such sources as the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty and in celebrities who embrace how they look even when it doesn't fit a typical standard of beauty (Queen Latifah, for example). Maybe even explore the struggle of people like America Ferrera to maintain a natural image in a plastic Hollywood. Perhaps it's the teacher in me, but I think a big difference can be made in the world when we focus on what we're doing right (and encouraging the world do more of that) rather than only what we're doing wrong. A lot has already been written on what's failing with our society, it would be refreshing to hear about what's succeeding instead.

I'd be really interested in a book about the impact that disordered eating has on dating and relationships. As a recovered bulimic myself, I know from experience that EDs drive a wedge between you and your SO because you're lying and keeping secrets. There's also the issue of the partner's helplessness. All they can do is stand back and watch you destroy yourself. It's got to be extraordinarily frustrating.

And how the hell does a single bulimic or anorexic manage dating when one of the most popular dating activities is DINNER? I remember struggling with these issues myself. It might have helped my recovery to have to face the impact of my ED on my dating life and my relationships.

I look forward to seeing what you decide to do--you'll have to keep us posted!

Jen

what about something that dealt with sex and being overweight? i am 23 and still a virgin because i refuse to let a guy get intimate while I am fat. once i lose about 50 pounds, i hope i finally have the self-confidence to be sexually active with a boyfriend. i am the only one out of ALL of my friends that is my age and a virgin! it's humiliating that i have not lost it yet. but i can't even begin to think of having sex while i am fat right now!

I was involved with a younger man for several years. I am about 30-40 pounds overweight and I recently found out that he was involved with another older woman who is probably 300 pounds and in the past he had seen another older woman who was probably 250 pounds. Is he getting himself involved with overweight older women because his ego couldn't stand to be rejected by younger women of average weight and thinks that overweight women have low self esteem and they feel good when a younger man pursues them?

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