What’s your darkest diet secret?
Nobody’s perfect.
We’ve all done messed-up things in some misguided effort to lose weight/gain muscle/tone up/make the number on the scale go down. Besides some seriously ill-advised calorie restriction in college, I’ll admit, I’m not the Patron Saint of Eating Perfectly, even though I talk a big game. I’ve skipped Saturday night dinner before so I could drink on an empty stomach. I once (only once, though) used the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur as an excuse to fast. (Oy vey...now I can't even make it a few hours without needing a nosh.) I even secretly hoped I’d lose a few pounds when a Chicago Tribune assignment sent me to a holistic cleanser for a colonic (PS I didn’t lose anything except my pride and I quickly realized no amount of quick-fix weight shedding is worth having a tube stuck up your butt.)
I recently saw a collection of like-minded anecdotes from real women (just like you and me!) in Fitness Magazine, in a splashy story called “Your Deep, Dark Diet Secret – Revealed!” A few worth noting:
“I gave up carbs one Lent. My diet: Veggies and vodka.” – Alexis, 27
“I’ll eat fattening fried food for two weeks and then nonfat salads for the next couple pf weeks.” – Deena, 31
“Sometimes I’ll only eat one meal a day if I feel fat.” – Anita, 35
“The morning Mount St. Helens erupted, not too far from where I lived, I went out and did my usual 13-mile Sunday run – with a bandana over my mouth to filter the debris.” – Sandy, 60
“I started taking diet pills, and they almost gave me a stroke. My heart would race and eventually I lost feeling in my left arm. It took six months to gain control of my hand and be able to write again.” – Ginger, 32
Sounds a bit off-the-wall, no? But we who live in glass computers shouldn't throw keyboards. It's time to come clean. Share your most ludicrous, nonsensical, silliest stories here. Use a fake name if you want. Or don't. Just write down something plain old irrational you've done in an effort to lose weight...no one here can judge anyone else because we all fall into traps sometimes and make the wrong decision.
But I'm not trying to embarrass anyone or make you feel dumb. After all, I once tried contouring my cankles with self-tanning lotion in an effort to look better in a pair of Mary Janes so really, who the hell am I to judge? What I hope is that by putting finger to keyboard and spellling out your "secret," you will be able to take a step back and see, "Oh my gosh, was I CRAZY?" And then you will never do it again. You will never eat only chicken breast and celery again. You will never take shady diet pills again. You will never swallow a laxative or throw-up unless your are constipated or have the flu/are pregnant (respectively). Hindsight is 20/20. Putting our actions in plain sight may help guarantee a happier, less chaotic tomorrow.
xo,
Leslie
Comments
Once, during the depths of my anorexia, I would eat 1/8 cup of cheerios for breakfast...And nothing else until a salad with fat free dressing for lunch. Thankfully that seems irrational to me now!
By the way, if you are reading this Leslie, I read "Locker Room Diaries" and I think we may have been seperated at birth. I am going to school to be a health writer. Weird!
Before I graduated from high school I ate a Balance bar and a yogurt every day for a month to lose weight. I gained everything back as soon as I started eating again that summer. =P
I ran miles every day in the sweltering heat of a Houston summer, 100 degrees, 80% humidity type weather. I used to see little sparkles in front of my eyes and I had to visualize that I was running through ice water to make it through. Oh dear.
Also, once I tried to subsist entirely on packets of instant soup mix and diet hot chocolate. That only lasted about two days.
At first I thought I'd never done anything crazy, but then I realized: I once bought a diet book and proceeded to spend about $200 each week on food, for the next month - before I realized that it was WAY too expensive and I was literally eating away my savings...I bought a mini trampoline for $150 and have used it approximately twice. So yeah, I think the amount of money I've spent in the effort to get thin has been irrational!
Laxative abuse is definitely the craziest thing I've ever done. I wish I'd never even tried them.
I once lived an entire month on nothing but air-popped popcorn flavored with fat-free butter spray. The smell of popcorn still makes me feel nauseated.
I can't get through Yom Kippur, either, anymore! But I figure it's ok, because God doesn't want me to be anorexic again.
I was once jealous of a friend who was pregnant at the same time I was. She was diabetic (Type 1), not eating enough, working too hard, and was actually losing weight during her pregnancy while I was, of course, gaining (which is what we're SUPPOSED to do! Luckily, she was able to slow down and eventually have a healthy pregnancy and baby.)
It was completely crazy, and even I knew it at the time.
Um, too many to list here, but here's probably the top one: In college I was training w/ the gymnastics team and on a dance team. In an effort to lose weight I bought a box of chewy Gobstoppers from the vending machine every morning and proceeded to parcel them out during the day. That was it. After five days I fainted and my roommates called my mom who came and made me eat. And? I got two cavities. Bad all around:)
Another time I took "energy pills" that made my heart pound so badly I thought I was going to die. Only did that once though!
it used to take me HOURS to eat a single serving bag of popcorn, one of those 60 calorie chocolate bars, or a serving of 13 pretzels... because i would suck on and drag them out as long as possible in an effort to make the 200 calories a day i rationed myself last longer.
i STILL measure/count out everything i eat... including fruits and vegetables.
At my worst, I would eat a small bowl of cereal for breakfast, an apple for lunch, then - after running almost 4 miles each day - I would have a salad for supper. I remember being at the heart doctor (who happened to be the first person to get through to me that i needed help) with my mom, and I was so weak I couldn't even sit up by myself.
Sorry, that wasn't exactly "ludicrous/silly," but at least it's not a secret anymore! :-)
This is not as much a secret as more of a "I can't believe I actually got suckered into this"...About 4 years ago, remember when Cortislim was really popular because it promised to banish all that belly fat because it helped to stop the over production of cortisol. Well, I bought a 3 month supply because I was so unhappy with my muffin top. I was slim everywhere except my gut and nothing I did would make the gut go down so I got the Cortislim. Oh geez! I spent a whole lot of money for no results, and last year the company that makes Cortislim was 1 of 4 diet pill makers who got busted for false advertising. BIG lesson learned.
When I was in high school, I went through a phase where all I would eat, the whole day, was one box of conversation hearts. 120 calories. I remember reading and rereading the nutrition facts to be sure they were safe. One box will last a LOOOOONG time if you just suck on one heart at a time. AND then everyone sees that you are eating candy all day and thinks there must be some reasonable cause for you passing out, other than starvation.
Ah, good times.
During my sophomore year of high school, I would only eat a Nutrigrain bar for lunch and then endure a rigorous two hour basketball practice later that day. Junior year I increased my intake to a serving of pistachios and a 70 calorie can of soup.. then proceeded to go to basketball. I seriously don't know how I could get through all those practices on such little food.
I to this day have trouble with not ODing on exercising, but i dont excercise for weight loss, its just hard for me to stop once i get going, but so far, i manage. But in high school, i remember, and please, no one try this, i used to eat, yes EAT packets of splenda throughout the day! Of course it wasn't the only thing i subsided on, but i got addictied to the extra sugary taste and figured, hey it "0 calorie". O god, now, i cant even look at those packets anymore.
Thanks for your honesty and openness, everyone. Isn't it bizarre to look back at the things we/our peers have done and realize (a) wow, I did that, too or (b) I can't believe I ever thought that was OK or (c) I can't believe SHE ever thought that OK or even (d) I wish I dodn't secretly still struggle with this. It's also interesting to see the commonalities - Karla and I were both anorexic and are now health writers; Alyssa and I now eat on the holiest day of fasting; take "diet" pills and you're not gonna be a happy camper.
I'm proud of all of us for being able to come to terms (at least in this venue) with our crap. Facing it head on, no matter how weak or unsure we might feel, is always a great starting point.
xoxoxoxo to all of you!
Leslie
One word. Epicac. Gross.
One word. Epicac. Gross.
I guess the dumbest think I've ever done was Atkins, 100% full force induction for about 3 months, nothing but bacon, cheese, and eggs. No vegetables, no fruit, no grains. I lost approx 50 pounds, and gained it all back in a heartbeat. The second dumbest thing was Phentermine, I lost 60+ pounds, gained it all back. Finally I have realized that diet and exercise REALLY WORK, and it is possible to maintain weightloss - but it takes EFFORT.
