"How Sitting Next To A Fat Person Can Make You Fat"

A NYC writer by the name of Kim Brittingham found herself fed up with the stares and glares and outright rude comments she often receives while riding the bus. (Kim weighs around 250 pounds and is accepting of her size, as well as the word "fat." ) However, there's only so much a person can take and she soon grew tired of experiences like this:

"I've been on buses that filled to an inhumane capacity, with commuters packed in like desperate refugees or sows to the slaughter. Still, the seat beside me remained empty. I once watched a woman tolerate being wedged between a foul-smelling man with roaming hands and a perspiring giant with a hairy armpit an inch from her face, yet she staunchly refused to collapse comfortably into the seat available at my side. To be fair, she might've been enjoying the feel-up, but judging by her expression of disgust and the dirty looks she kept shooting at me, I think not. Why wouldn't she just sit? And what had I done to deserve the evil eye? Had I contaminated an otherwise perfectly good seat by situating my deadly girth beside it?" (Posted on freshyarn.com)

Kim did not sit idly by. She got creative. She designed a fake book cover on her home computer, complete with bar code, a picture of a large cartoon woman on a scale, a faux author (Kimberly Cox, PhD, the name of one of her childhood tormentors). The jacket got wrapped around a biography and Kim proceeded to "read" from it every day in public for the next four months.

Reactions ranged from double-takes to whispers to drop-jawed confusion and fear. One young woman actually called her friend on her cell and said, in a not-so-quiet voice, "Cheryl, it's me. Listen. I'm on the 79 bus and I'm sitting across from this woman who's reading a book called, Fat is Contagious: How Sitting Next to a Fat Person Can Make You Fat. No, I'm serious. Yes. I know it's mind-boggling. Should I ask? O.K., well, can you check Amazon for me?"

Many of you may recall a recent study out of the New England Journal of Medicine which showed that obesity is, in fact, "contagious," in that it is spread socially - not by coughing or kissing. Harvard researchers found that a person's chances of becoming obese increase by 57% if they have a friend who becomes obese; 40% if they have a sibling who becomes obese; and 37% if a spouse becomes obese. These numbers no doubt reflect shared interests and attitudes, dining and relaxation time spent together, and more.

But the situation facing Kim - and millions of other men and women out there - is blatant discrimination. Attacking people for being heavy is one of the last remaining socially acceptable prejudices. On Fox’s lie detector show “The Moment of Truth,” one question posed was: "Do fat people repulse you?" As I mentioned two posts ago, people often feel like they can anything they want in reference to a stranger's weight, no matter what their size.

If you were on the bus and you saw an overweight woman reading a book titled Fat is Contagious: How Sitting Next to a Fat Person Can Make You Fat, how do you think you would react? Would your get the joke? Be horrified? Embarrassed? And how does that answer differ from how you might react if you saw an overweight woman reading a book called, oh, I don't know, Skinny Bitch?

Comments

Leslie, thanks for sharing that story. I admire Kim's attitude!

You're so right about people feeling like they can say anything they want about a stranger's weight. Why is that? I suspect it's because deep down, many people feel that a person's weight is something that's well within their control -- even though that may not be the case at all -- and make judgments about that person based on their assumptions.

Good for Kim for sticking up for herself!

First, Kim is a riot! In another universe we would be best friends (and then I could invite her over for tea & biscuits just because I like the idea of faking a british accent AND eating cookies - hey, I'll invite Britney along too!)

Second, I think a lot of people misinterpret this study. The researchers weren't saying that "fat is contagious" (although the AP said it aplenty). They said that there is a correlation between being overweight and having a overweight friends. Correlation is not causation. I think this study makes some important points about societal norms & the microcosm of a good friendship (it's even more influential than family!). IMO, this is a case of Don't Shoot the Messenger (but then you know how I loves me my research!)

I see the corralation. I am trying to lead a healthy lifestyle, including watching what I eat and losing a few pounds. My boyfriend is a big guy who eats a standard diet of pizza and burgers. I can be good all day, but when he orders pizza and eats it in front of me, I don't have the willpower to say no. When he's not around or when he's on a diet, its easy (well, easier) for me to stay on track.

Now who do I blame for my chocolate intake...

I appreciate Kim's attitude, but as a little person who takes public transportation, I have to speak up. I don't care if you are fat or muscular or just a large person: if you take up some of my seat I'd rather just stand. One of the few advantages of being short/little is that you (theorectically) have more personal space, but it usually gets eaten up (no pun intended) by bigger people. Also if I stand up I have a smaller chance of getting elbowed in the face than if I were sitting next to a larger person (this happens more often than you normal-to-big size people think it does). Tall/large people often trample us little people in some way without even realizing it.

I'm guessing the girl who was glaring (which is undoubtedly very rude) has probably just had too many run-ins with larger people in cramped public modes of transportation.

It's certainly understandable that people who are shorter/smaller will get frustrated at being trampled and elbowed, but to glare at someone just because of their size (or lack thereof) is just rude. (And there are some of us who try to be extra careful.)
There was a letter in an advice column recently, in which a man wrote a letter complaining about fat people on public transportation, and how they take up too much room, etc. There is a lot of bias against fat people. As a society we tend to see fat people as lazy, slothful, and less intelligent, whereas thinner people tend to get more of a pass on bad behavior. (It's OK to be a bitch if you're skinny and "hot," but not so much if you're fat, for example. Or look at the website that shows "hot young drunk girls" throwing up on the sidewalk. Lovely.)
If I were on that bus with Kim, I'd not only sit next to her, I'd try to "catch" come of her humor and intelligence,lol!

I'm sure the woman didn't have anything personal against the fat woman. She just probably didn't want to be touched by her thighs. Plain and simple, sitting next to the fat woman would have meant touching the woman (because her body goes over into the next seat). And strangers don't like to touch each other on public transportation. This isn't rocket science.

Being Fat is not one of the only socially acceptable biases left. What about gay people who still do not have equal rights as citizens of the United States.

Way more annoying are the average-sized men who sit with their legs spread so wide on the bus or train that no one can sit in the seat next to them. Or the people who pile their stuff on the seat next to them even when tons of people are standing. Save your glares for them, not for overweight people who are just going about their own business!

People don't sit next to fat people on the bus because the fat person usually takes up half of the empty seat. There is no room and if you sit there then you are uncomfortable because the big person is pressing on you and you're sitting on half of a seat.

That is why most people will just stand and not sit there.

It's not discrimination - its about space and comfort.

Why is it that most larger people always complain about things? They say well gee its not out fault, its the food or its genetics. And they complain about how clothes and models aren't sized for "normal" people. The country keeps getting fatter and fatter and nobody seems to be doing anything about it. If you dont want people to stare at you on the bus and if you really want someone to sit next to you (not sure why, id rather not have anyone next to me) then lose some weight and stop disgusting everyone else.

I thought I would share a recent experience, to see what comments it draws. I was on the subway the other day, sitting with an epty seat between me and the next person over. A very, very large woman got on the train and just squeezed herself between us. We both shot up out of our seats at the same time, leaving her with all three seats. I would say she needed them. I was (and am) a bit conflicted about this. First, I felt bad for jumping up from my seat, basically repulsed. However, there is no doubt she knew exectly the impact she would have when she sat down - the physics were very clear. I suspect she just made her peace with this and decided a seat was her right, other people be damned. And I cannot say I blame her for that decision. However, if this is the case, then I dont think I should feel bad for getting up. basically, she made a decision to do something that she had to know would make other people uncomfortable, and we made a decision to not put up with it. Seems fair.

Huffpost is not innocent on this. Demeaning, mocking, objectifying images of fat persons are typical as illustrations for articles - for the delectation of the spiteful thin - explaining how their horror of fat persons is ever so right.
As for complaints: do you think fat people are honest about themselves, or less honest than thins? Reliable witnesses to their own stories, or probable liars, self-deceivers? If the latter, a position quite without evidential support, you are participating in an ugly form of prejudice

I agree with Eric8869 and others about the matter of comfort (physical & social). I'm OK with sitting closely next to my overweight friends, but being pressed so close to a stranger makes me uneasy, whatever their size.

Also, if we're asking questions about acceptable behavior regarding weight...why is it OK to characterize skinny people as "bitches"? Just because they're thin doesn't make them bitches and discussion about weight that includes this characterization tells me that we're hardly starting from a rational basis...

CC, "Skinny Bitch" is a book... look it up. The author was not casting aspersions.

I've never had anything like this happen to me. Then again, I don't ride the bus. I ride my bike for 10-15 miles every day in city traffic, even in the winter. Not only did I lose weight, but I gained muscle too. Now I don't have to worry what people think about my weight, and I can literally eat anything I want. Highly recommended way to lose weight--low impact, easy on your knees and back, gets the heart beating, and you learn to relish the evil stares you get from drivers. Love yourself! Buy a bike.

To "Fat Bitch,"

I know it's a book, but the phrase has been in use well before the book came out (and lent the book its title). My question is concerning the usage, not the book; and it wasn't directed at the author (who didn't use the phrase that way), but at the popular usage. (Please re-read my first post.) While we're talking (I hope constructively) about weight and how people are treated, we can make better progress when we do it in reasonable and civil ways (and, as the author shows, some healthy humor).

I personally do not know anyone who thinks it's okay to comment on another's weight. Some people actually do have manners. Frankly, my best friend could lose a few pounds (as could I), but when she asked me if I thought she was fat, I told her she wasn't fat, just fluffy. May not elicit a big grin from everyone, but it did from her and that is good enough for me.

Sympathy for overweight people is ridiculous. First of all, the myth that it is genetic is just that, a myth (in at least 99% of cases). Fat is a product of lifestyle choices.

Being overweight means you are an unhealthy person, by choice.

So stop looking for sympathy.

The same way people give dirty looks at smokers, they will give them to you.

Its amazing that people complain about smokers so much, with factually incorrect arguments about them raising health insurance (taxes more than cover any such raise), but no one says a word about fat asses to choose to clog their arteries. Lets start taxing saturaated fat then!

Its only natural to be repulsed by that which is unhealthy, the same way you fatties probably are repulsed when you see a homeless person with some bizarre scab on their leg.

If I see an overweight woman chowing down a triple cheeseburger, I would be doing her and everyone else a disservice by NOT giving her a dirty look.

Does the author not realize the obvious? People aren't sitting next to her because she's probably taking up half the seat next to her. Sitting next to an obese person on a bus or plane is extremely uncomfortable and annoying. Is not wanting to subject yourself to that discriminatory (in the bad sense of the word)? You might argue that there should be larger seats for larger people, but that's a different story. Who wants to be squished to one side of their seat the whole ride? Not me.

Surprised no one has yet mentioned the horror of solo air travel - and arriving at your seat to find half of your space impinged upon by the 250 lb., wheezing behemoth in the next seat. You know, the one whose arms can't be bought in close enough to stay off the armrest. A four hour cuddle with a fat stranger.

This is why I always bring Xanax on airplanes. And I snore loudly the entire trip.

Being repulsed by obesity is exactly the same as being repulsed by poor hygiene. Both are outward signs that people aren't taking care of themselves. Many of life's other problems can be easily hidden (addiction to gambling, for instance), so maybe it's unfair that obesity is so visually apparent . . . but that's all the more reason to start eating less. People who have "come to terms" with their obesity, or are "happy being big" have really just resigned themselves to an extremely unhealthy lifestyle. I guarantee that if they could magically shed the pounds, they all would. Unfortunately, it's a difficult process that can take a few years of tenacious calorie-counting. It's certainly worth it though.

Why are fat people discriminated against on job interviews? Probably for the same reason people who don't comb their hair or iron their shirt are -- those are all visible signs that the person doesn't care about his appearance. Is this discriminatory? Of course. The smelly person with long, dirty, unkempt hair might be the most qualified for the job, but he won't get it. Neither will the fat person. It's the same thing. Instead of complaining about the discrimination, get a haircut, wear a suit, and loose weight! It's not the same as racial or sexual discrimination.

As an internal medicine researcher in a large metropolitan hospital, I can attest to the epidemic of obesity in this country. The medical community is not immune to this phenomenon, as many of our hospital nurses suffer from varying degrees of morbid obesity, and, in my opinion, should be barred from the profession until significant weight loss is achieved. Economics and manpower demands will not allow hospitals to dismiss the obese medical professionals, setting a terrible example for us all, and the mainstream media has been of little assistance in getting the word out of the obesity epidemic in our own medical centers.

She needs to publish that book. She needs to write it and make it funny and publish it. It should include all sorts of made up and useless charts. Heck, I would buy it just to put on my shelf at work.

I see movie deal in the works.

By the way, Brad is incorrect about many things.

1. I don't hang out with smokers because cigarette smoke makes it harder to breath.

2. Fat is, to a large extent, genetic. This is shown by studies that looked at adopted twins with different parental lifestypes and yet the twins both end up being obese.

3. Being fat does not, by definition, make you an unhealthy person. It can facilitate conditions that are, but then again, so can driving a car.

I am fat. Come climb a mountain in Colorado with me. If it doesn't kill you, then you may have something to be cocky about. But it won't be because you beat the fat guy. This is what I do for fun.

"Fat is, to a large extent, genetic. This is shown by studies that looked at adopted twins with different parental lifestypes and yet the twins both end up being obese."

No. Having a slow metabolism is genetic. Letting yourself become obese certainly isn't. If you were born with a slower metabolism and notice that you're gaining weight, you eat less. That's like saying dying of diabetes is genetic . . . no, if you take your insulin then you don't die. Diabetes is genetic, but not allowing it to affect you. Bad argument, and bad excuse.

"Being fat does not, by definition, make you an unhealthy person. It can facilitate conditions that are, but then again, so can driving a car."

That's a silly argument. Smoking doesn't by definition make you unhealthy either -- lots of people smoke their whole lives without getting lung cancer. The point is that it's a huge risk factor to smoke, and obesity is an even larger one.

Erica is right. I live in NYC, and when a fat person takes up more than one seat, I would rather stand. Otherwise, I would be pressed against Kim's expansive bosom and hips. Who knows what she'd say then?

Ha ha. Fat people are funny...

If you were looking for proof that America believes it's OK to discriminate against the overweight, your evidence is in these comments. Just replace "obese" or "fatty" with the race/color/nation al origin/sexual orientation of your choice and you have hate speech.

Just so you intolerant commentors know, we are well aware we are fat. There is no need to point it out to us or to others. It does not make us stupid, unclean or lazy. We are simply heavy. Trust us, it's not a conspiracy to ruin your day. Learn to live and let live.

I am shocked and saddened to see how much hate there is here.

Recently I took a puddle-jumper flight from Washington DC (National Airport) to Salisbury, MD.

The small plane was full and I had an aisle seat next to a woman so fat that even the seatbelt extensions didnt work
for her.

Finally they rigged up something that fastened her into not only her seat, but 3/4 of mine.

At 125, I'm not fat but I don't fit into 1/4 of a small propellor plane seat.

I demonstrated this to the flight attendant and she agreed. Sadly, there were no other empty seats on the plane so one of us had to go.

Guess who waited for the next flight? Not the 600 pound lady, you don't mess with someone that large who won't budge.

I am against all kinds of prejudice except when a person's characteristics seriously make my life uncomfortable.

A black or white man or woman, muslim, jew or christian, would have been fine.
But I do there should be some rule that no one should be allowed to "fill" more than one seat on public transportation, expecially high-priced air travel

Recently I took a puddle-jumper flight from Washington DC (National Airport) to Salisbury, MD.

The small plane was full and I had an aisle seat next to a woman so fat that even the seatbelt extensions didnt work
for her.

Finally they rigged up something that fastened her into not only her seat, but 3/4 of mine.

At 125, I'm not fat but I don't fit into 1/4 of a small propellor plane seat.

I demonstrated this to the flight attendant and she agreed. Sadly, there were no other empty seats on the plane so one of us had to go.

Guess who waited for the next flight? Not the 600 pound lady, you don't mess with someone that large who won't budge.

I am against all kinds of prejudice except when a person's characteristics seriously make my life uncomfortable.

A black or white man or woman, muslim, jew or christian, would have been fine.
But I do there should be some rule that no one should be allowed to "fill" more than one seat on public transportation, expecially high-priced air travel

"Just replace "obese" or "fatty" with the race/color/nation al origin/sexual orientation of your choice and you have hate speech."

Of course we believe it's OK to discriminate against the obese! Race/color/nationality are not things that can be changed, and not inherently bad. Obesity, I would argue, is both of those things. That's like getting all defensive that people discriminate against high school dropouts. Of course they do! Because they dropped out of high school! That's a bad thing. So is being obese. It has nothing to do with hatred. I wish everyone could finish high school, and I wish everyone could attain a healthy weight. I certainly don't wish everyone could be "white" or "black" -- those things are uncontrollable.

And to continue the analogy, some people are born with a lower IQ than others (like having a low metabolism), but that doesn't mean they can't, through hard work and dedication, graduate from high school (lose weight/stay thin).

Most of us that struggle with our weight aren't looking for your pity...we aren't looking for special privileges because of our size...we aren't looking for excuses to justify our inability to loose weight. We are looking for basic human respect. I, too, am shocked at the hateful and judgmental posts on this topic but I believe in free speech so for those of you that thrive on putting others down, bring it on. While your spiteful language and repulsed looks may hurt, YOU are the ones being harmed by the negativity you spread, not I. I know that regardless of my size, I work hard every day to be kind to those around me and make a positive impact in this world, which is much much more important than what you think of me or other people that you deem "repulsive", "unhealthy", "disgusting", "bad" or any of the other descriptives used in these comments.

Quit eating so much, and exercise. Either that, or quit complaining that someone doesn't want to sit next to your sweaty, heavy breathing, space absorbing butt.

I'm an American teaching at a public middle school in South Korea. And, I've noticed that it's very difficult to find an overweight Korean adult. But, it's not so difficult to find an overweight child. The adults usually eat traditional Korean food such as rice, vegetables, and fish. While many of the kids like to eat McDonalds, Pizza Hut, and Burger King. The adults tend to snack on fruit, vegetables, and rice cakes. While many of the kids snack on chips.

If weight was based primarily on genetics, I doubt I would notice a difference between the children and adults. But, I do. The evidence here points directly to diet and lifestyle as the primary cause. I'm not saying that genetics doesn't play any role. But, I seriously doubt that it's the primary role in most cases.

By the way, I love McDonalds, Pizza Hut, and Burger King. I wish they weren't so fattening. But they are.

My heart aches and rejoices with you, my fat brothers and sisters. To compare my fat, beautiful, and healthy body to a rarely bathed and/or scabbed one is ridiculous. I wonder how many of the hateful commentators among us here have ever really struggled with weight? My husband has never counted a calorie in his 39 years of life and never exercises. Yet, like his mother, brother, and sister, his weight never fluctuates and his body fat is ridiculously low. His brother often reeks of cigarettes, infrequent bathing, and poor dental hygiene. But, by damn, he's thin! I would like to remind the body fascists among us that Hitler, too, voraciously despised the "unhealthy," and I would further challenge them to question their true motives and authority of their beliefs. Oh, wait. That might take some real work, education, and self-examination. I'll make you a deal. You read "Rethinking Thin" and a couple of Kim Chernin books, and I'll add a couple more laps around the track.

About 14 months ago I weighed 230 lbs. Today I weigh exactly 160lbs. I did that in one year by changing my lifestyle.

1) I started exercising specifically to meet my goals. Hire a trainer if necessary; you can pay for it with your savings in food and eating out.

2) Quit drinking. Notice how there's no nutrition labels on alcohol? Shady. A 4-oz gin martini has over 400 calories. 8-oz margarita? Over 700 calories. DRINKING MAKES YOU FAT! STOP IT!

3) Restrict your portions, don't eat out, and don't eat processed foods. If you can't pronounce an ingredient on a label and understand where it comes from, then don't eat it!!

4) Talk to a psychologist and understand why you keep yourself fat and how changing your thinking can change your health and your body.

Generally I'm not disgusted by fat people. I'm disgusted by most of what they eat and the quantity, but usually I just feel bad for them that they have been so lied to and confused by the American food culture.

I have to agree with the comments that say being obese is a choice, an unhealthy choice and indicative of a person who makes unhealthy lifestyle choices. I found myself being uncomfortably heavy lately, Know what I did? I ate less, watched what I was eating and am starting to exercise more. In a year or so I will be back to a nice normal weight.

I chose not to be an obese unhealthy person. Not everyone chooses to make such a choice. The choices you make in life (like not taking baths or wearing dirty clothes or being obese) signal to others what kind of a person you really are.

Joel, you're "generally" not disgusted by fat people? Well, that's decent of you, I suppose. But you are disgusted by what we eat and how much. Have you thought to ask your yourself and/or your psychologist all the reasons why you believe this way? Are you equally disgusted by all forms of excess (e.g., raping of the environment, excessive wealth, uncontrolled spending)? My intention is not to personally attack you or belittle the changes you've made that have had a positive effect on your life, but rather to get you and others to think about why this preoccupation with weight dominates our culture and why it is ok to so harshly judge our fellow humans. When you say you "feel bad for them," to me, you come across as self-righteous instead of empathetic. I hope I'm wrong about this. In addition to being "lied to and confused by the American food culture," I propose that we all seriously and honestly consider what role meanness, vanity, hypocrisy, and control play in "keeping ourselves fat."

I think Diane is on to something here, as her comments signal to me that she is most likely small-minded, judgmental, selfish, petty, and, I'm going out on a limb here, boring. I don't mean that you have to be fat to be exciting or an upstanding citizen -- just that you need to be kind and think about the effect your words and actions have on others. You can never really know what another person's life is like. The older I get, the more keenly aware I am of this, and the more useless and unimportant it becomes to argue with people hell-bent on trying to make me realize just how unworthy I am.

While I do agree that it does not help to put people down regarding their weight, I also don't think that they should be making any excuses.

Can someone really feel good about themselves when they are mega obese?

It's true that it's not a choice for everyone to be obese but the norms in the US somehow tell people that it's acceptable to live like this; people look around and think they're "normal" when, in fact, this is a health crisis.

I was pudgy as a child, not particularly active in sports but I did ride my bike around the neighborhood. How common is that today?

In my European life even the minimal amount of movement I get walking to the bus or tramstop is probably more than a lot of people get in a week in the US.

So I believe America needs some basic lifestyle changes.

Studies like this are often pure crapola. The researchers have a pet theory, then "study" it, and surprise surprise, the "research" supports their pet theory.

It goes on all the time, in social "research" especially, but in ANY human field where there is any wiggle room whatsoever.

That doesn't mean these things can't have truth to them: it means, the truth doesn't really matter. The pet theory mattered.

As a rider of mass transit everyday and a relatively slim fellow I can tell you that it is much more comfortable to stand on a bus than have only half a seat on which to sit. It's not that i think fat is contagious, you are just taking up too much room.

Have any of you bothered to read the full article about the book cover? The author knows what she's talking about and she makes perfect sense. And she says right up front that she knows fat people take up more room and can be uncomfortable to sit next to.
http://www.freshyarn.com/42/essays/brittingham_fat1.htm

The past two times I've taken a plane to New York, a fat man has sat next to me. I like to get the window seat so even scooting all the way to the window, he still touched me the entire flight. It's not unreasonable to not want to be touched by a stranger for a three hour flight. We all only get so much room on a plane. Why should I put up with a man spilling four inches onto my side...whose rear is so large it pushes the arm rest up and his rear spills into my seat not to mention his arm taking up not only that arm rest but a good part of my seat? Why? I will complain before the plane taxis away from the gate next time. I've made up my mind.

Hi everyone,
Just wanted to letchya know I'm out this morning but will absolutely post a response to, well, all of these responses, at some point today. It's too important an issue to ignore.
Leslie

I think that Kim did the best and funniest thing she could do and I commend her for it. I would probably have approached her and asked, but that is part of my personality.

I must admit a prejudice towards overweight people (despite the pounds I must lose, and am exercising to do so). It is difficult, though, because I have overweight family members whom I love greatly.

Josie, the comments are limited in length, so I didn't have enough space to tiptoe around everything that might offend you; sorry.

Yes, I'm disgusted by the way obese people eat when that's the cause of their weight issues. I'm also disgusted watching Amy Winehouse smoke crack or Britney flash her crotch.

Outward manifestations of ADDICTION are hard to watch without feeling sympathy/empathy towards the person.

So many Americans are addicted to food and they don't realize it or they don't know how to change it. They're eating food that nobody told them was addictive! It's like smokers in the 20th century when they thought it was fine and then they got cancer.

Honestly, most food consumed in the US should be considered inedible because it's addictive, harmful, and unnatural.

So yes, Josie, I am equally disgusted by all forms of selfishness and addiction. Call me self-righteous again; my mother died from an abcess having her gall bladder removed because she was so overweight.

Thank you for this. What's truly contagious, it seems, is misinformation and hysteria about obesity. I am SICK AND TIRED with the vilification that fat people are made to endure (it's either "good for them" or out of retaliation for making health insurance premiums higher, apparently). And I'm a thin person.

I have a very, very strong suspicion that most health problems associated with being overweight (except among the morbidly obese) will be attributable to the stress of living in a society that constantly tells you you're disgusting if you're overweight.

I applaud Kim Brittingham for making her point in a clever way, and pointing how ridiculous all of this has become.

Overweight and obesity is a very complicated issue. As an overweight woman--over 200 pounds--I have worked out 3 times a week for years, am vegetarian, and do not watch television. I dropped 80 pounds--from 300 to 220--but am still overweight and have stayed at this weight for years, however I am 'healthy' in every other respect. It has been a very emotional, physical, and mental struggle. Perception is the battle now. I resent being viewed as fat but I have made my peace with it. It is important to know, the next time you see a fat person or have to sit next to a fat person on a plane, that there is a story there and not necessarily a lazy, disgusting sub-human.

i am seriously thinking of breaking up with my girlfriend because of 'irreconcilable dietary incompatibility'.

When I am out of town for weeks I eat right and go to the gym. When I am with her, she eats all the junk and i end up 'falling off' the wagon.

I have found that the more urban the area, the more fat phobic the people.
Thank God I live in a small town where a human being is a human being.

Dear Joel,
There are great strategies for eating out. Go to a nice restaurant and order an appetizer and a wine. All restaurants have a sides or appetizer menu. This helps with portions. If you must order a full meal, share it with another person or cut it in half and immediately box the other half for later before eating your meal.
I order off the dollar menu at McD's. A simple burger hold the cheese and always a small order of FF with small size drink will satisfy a fast food craving about once a week.
Order small as possible. You will be surprised at what a cheap date you can be! Walk into any restaurant with a frugal attitude and you will be fine. Enjoy the atmosphere. If you tend to make the wrong choice at your usual haunts, change local until you gain some portion control. I quit looking at the menu seriously at my favorite haunts and just order the same couple of things. Sharing with another person should be the only occasion to order a full meal ever.

qofdisks,

I've worked in the restaurant industry for years, currently at the most upscale, most expensive restaurant in the region. I know restaurants, and they're not healthy. Even when you THINK you're eating healthy you're usually not.

Unless you specify that you want grilled fish with no butter and steamed veggies you will be eating calories you didn't even know were there.

Many "light" options at restaurants can contain over 1000 calories! Even the lightest have 500 calories or more.

If you MUST drink, red wine is the best option (as long as it's not fortified). Appetizers are portioned smaller, but the calories are still there.

If you are seriously overweight, you can lose alot of weight just from portion control, but if you want to get in really healthy shape, you can forget about burgers, fries, and coke in any portion size from a fast food joint. Make it at home, count the calories, and use organic ingredients whenever possible.

Those of you with a no-nonsense approach towards fat people - it is the same mentality that makes you tell people who suffer from depression to "snap out of it". It is much more complicated than adding and subtracting calories. A fantastic read to gain some insight into the mind of somebody struggling with weight is found here: http://www.hungryyears.com/

I have a morbidly obese brother, and while I battle with controlling my weight with varying degrees of success, I am above average looking, as long as I am not going through a "fat phase". Yet I struggle to look at him without feeling some deep hidden fear, because if I have to be honest, he represents what I fear most: Fat, unloved, lonely, unsuccessful. As with most cases of prejudice, fear is at the bottom of the emotion, and why would we fear becoming like that? Certainly not because we are worried we'd be unhealthy: rather that we know we wouldn't be accepted, becasue WE don't acccept fat people. Not really. Shame on us, including me.

If you look at BMI, most people who you may not consider fat are still actually overweight. Our whole notion of size has been altered in a dangerous way, but either the airlines and transit authorities allow for more passenger room (which means higher prices for everybody) or obese people should be made to pay for however many seats they occupy. (spill over into the next seat? you pay for 2).

A comment about the twin study mentioned earlier. How does that possibly prove obesity is genetic? All that suggests is that the likelihood of being exposed to a bad diet in a random American home is very high. Your metabolic rate can be the result of genes, but it has nothing to do with the obesity epidemic. Organisms evolve by natural selection over millions of years. Nothing explains a sudden (in the space of a few decades) obesity epidemic except environmental factors. Americans were drastically skinnier 40 years ago -- how can anyone attribute this shift to genetics when it's obviously environmental. Our diets have changed and we've become more sedentary. Those are the causes of obesity. No more myths.

"I have a very, very strong suspicion that most health problems associated with being overweight (except among the morbidly obese) will be attributable to the stress of living in a society that constantly tells you you're disgusting if you're overweight."

If this is your suspicion, you need to read more medical journals. I don't believe that stress alone has ever been linked to heart disease, cancer, diabetes, or osteoarthritis. Hypertension, yes, but that's only one of the health risks of being overweight.

"It is much more complicated than adding and subtracting calories."

Not really. What makes it complicated is that people don't know how to count calories or estimate their BMR. They think that being vegetarian or running for 30 minutes on a treadmill (both great things) will automatically make them lose weight, then they're disappointed when it doesn't happen. You can exercise 2 hours a day and if you still eat too many calories, you won't lose weight -- even if they're all grains and vegetables. The simple formula that always works, with only a few minor complications that can be ignored 99% of the time, is that if you eat fewer calories than you burn, you lose weight. People who aren't losing weight either aren't really counting every calorie, or aren't eating few enough.

"What's truly contagious, it seems, is misinformation and hysteria about obesity."

I completely agree with the misinformation part . . . it's the wolf in sheep's clothing argument that you might as well not try to lose weight if you've been unsuccessful in the past, because being overweight is OK, and everyone who tells you otherwise is out to get you. The pernicious argument is usually accompanied by true statements, like "you are worthwhile" or "being overweight doesn't make you a bad person." Both of these are important things for overweight people to realize, but should certainly not be used to inspire them to inaction. People who make these arguments are the real villains.

I admire kim for what she did, I too struggled with my weight for many many years, and I used to hate how I was stared at especially when I ate. It was like they were saying "Oh my god, is she really going to eat that!" I used to hate going out in public. I finally had gastric bypass so I could lose weight and be around longer for my kids. I now know how it feels and I can't treat people that way. I admire anyone who can turn this kind of situation around for the positive and make people think how they make obese people feel when they treat obese people like they have some kind of horrible disease. I think everyone should spend one day of their lives in a obese persons body and see how if feels, so then maybe they can appreciate what they go through. So good for you kim keep it up.

I admit I'm as guilty as anyone even though I know its wrong. I have only been overweight once in my life and that was during a period of depression and then it was only 20 pounds. However, I worked so hard to lose that weight and keep it off and was so miserable heavy I have a hard time understanding how anyone can let themselves become obese. I am not saying this applies to all the heavy people who have commented but my problem is with most of the heavy people I know constantly complaining about how heavy they are and how they can't find anything to wear, etc but at the same time never changing their behavior. My best friend is nearly obese and cries and whines about being fat but she is constantly eating unhealthy stuff. She lives at Mc Donald's, downs entire pies or gallons of ice cream at one sitting and then doesn't understand why 30 minutes on the treadmill is not going to get her down to normal weight. Then her next move is to blame genetics even though everyone else in her family is normal weight. Crazy!

Peggy, I feel you. I too am overweight, (200 lbs, 5'8"). I eat correct portions and exercise 4 - 5 times a week. My blood pressure, cholestrol and blood sugar are all normal. I can't lose those 'extra' pounds (I lost about 30 pounds in past years, but have stayed at 200 for about three years now) but I'm healthier than my 115 lb, 5'3" sister who has never been overweight in her life.
For those "fatty-haters," think twice before you judge me as lazy and unhealthy. I probably have a better BP and cholestrol count than you do!

"Peggy, I feel you. I too am overweight, (200 lbs, 5'8"). I eat correct portions and exercise 4 - 5 times a week. My blood pressure, cholestrol and blood sugar are all normal. I can't lose those 'extra' pounds (I lost about 30 pounds in past years, but have stayed at 200 for about three years now) but I'm healthier than my 115 lb, 5'3" sister who has never been overweight in her life."

This is like the lifelong smoker who says, "I'm 90 years old and I've never felt better!" Does that mean smoking is healthy? No, it means that person is the exception to the rule. This kind of post doesn't do anything but confuse people. And what do you mean by "correct portions?" -- because if you're trying to lose weight unsuccessfully, then your portions need to be "correcter." I knew a woman who was eating 1200 calories a day and losing nothing! After some convincing, she switched to 1100, and lost a lot of weight. 1100 was her "correct" number of calories for weight loss. (continued on next post)

The problem is that most people trying to lose weight don't ever even get to the point where this woman was stuck. Of the people I know who are trying to lose weight, how many actually count their daily calories? I don't think any of them do. "Counting calories" has come to mean just a general attempt to eat better, instead of its LITERAL meaning, which is what you should do if you want to lose.

"I probably have a better BP and cholestrol count than you do!"

That's certainly possible. It doesn't change the fact that being obese is a huge health risk. You're one isolated case . . . look at the real numbers. It's a health crisis!

To Dr. Proctor: You should be deeply ashamed of your cruel assertation that obese nurses should be barred from the profession until significant weight loss is achieved. Are you yourself are a perfect human being? Have you never cheated on your partner, lied to a friend, experimented with illicit drugs, gambled to excess? Is your physique exquisitely in shape with no trace cancer cells running rampant in your blood stream, supremely healthy blood pressure, low LDL cholesterol levels, etc.? You have shown at least one personal flaw through your words: a distinct lack of compassion.

Since when does a thin nurse wipe a butt better than a fat nurse? Do fat nurses administer prescribed medications less effectively than thin nurses? Now for the $25K question: are patients EVER inspired to get fit because (as your outrageous statement seems to suggest) they were cared for by a thin nurse "setting a good example" while they were hospitalized?

I can only imagine the empathy you must show to your poor patients.

jess, you are disgusting

To everyone justifying their prejudice against fat people because obesity is preventable and they can lose weight:

Ugly people can make themselves more attractive, whether through hairstyle and clothing/makeup choices or cosmetic surgery. People with certain birth defects can also have cosmetic surgery to correct their deformities. Is it OK then to shoot THEM dirty looks? After all, are you really doing them any favors by pretending they AREN'T really unattractive? I mean, geeze, with a little effort on their part, they could stop looking so disgusting to you!

There is no justification, EVER, to shoot dirty looks at (or make nasty comments about or to) a person one judges to be unattractive -- for whatever reason. All this does is show the world how mean you are, while diminishing anothers' self esteem.

It is uncomfortable to be squeezed into a seat next to a big person, this is a fact. No need to be rude to the "offender" though, quietly sit/stand elsewhere.

Treat others as you would be treated!

I would never give a dirty look to a fat person on a subway. However, if I weighed 250 pounds, I would not be surprised that people aren't sitting next to me either. Somehow, I doubt that the seat next to a 250-pound woman is a "perfectly good seat." She is probably sitting on at least part of that seat, and to call it "perfectly good" is a little disingenuous on her part. And to call it discrimination, that no one wants to sit on only part of a perfectly good seat, is simply incorrect.

I don't understand how anyone gets to be 250 pounds to begin with. Just getting off the subway a couple blocks early and walking the rest of the way could probably help Kim lose a lot of her weight, and she would probably feel healthier too. Exercise is an important part of life because it can help you feel better both emotionally and physically. I totally understand the inherent laziness that we all have, which can make it difficult to exercise, but I make an effort to get past that in order to take care of my health.

There are several things our current society feels they can ridicule with impunity:Women who are "fat", Men who are "short" and anybody who is "old".
Since 75% of people (both men and women) are clinically obese, everyone if they are lucky enough will eventually be "old", and one of the most untapped resources of caring, understanding and just plain brilliant romance is the not so small pool of "short" men,
we've lost so much to our exclusionary practices, and gained nothing from our delusions, our prejudices, our immaturity as a culture.

Funny, but she's making harsh generalizations about people with armpit hair and foul odors. It seems a little harsh for her to negatively generalize other people while getting fed up with being harshly generalized or discriminated against herself. Hypocritical indeed. I happen to have harry armpits and sweat a little when I'm crammed into a bus so needless to say I have smelly, hairy armpits.

Being obese certainly is not contagious. Nevertheless, it is disgusting. And the fat person, surprise-surprise, occupies one half of the other seat!
Yuk!

Only 30% or so of Americans are clinically obese. 66% are overweight (including the obese). I agree that there shouldn't be any dirty looks, etc., but we need to do something about the epidemic. 66% of our country is ill.

Wow! What a lot of interesting comments.
I can agree that's it's no fun to sit next to someone who's taking up part of your seat as well.

But put the offense into perspective. It's not as it they were shooting a baby or clubbing seal pups in Canada. This is a relatively trivial offense, but it seems to provoke an extreme response from people

I sympathize with overweight people, but I understand their critics. Here's how I've lost 30 pounds in the last year WITHOUT counting calories or beginning a boot-camp like exercise program:
1. I stopped eating or drinking in front of the tv, and when I'm thirsty I get up and go to the kitchen to get a drink.
2. I started using mass transit. I have to walk across the street to the bus stop, walk from transit station bus stop to the train, and walk from the train stop to my office, and then do it in reverse in the afternoon - it has added 20 minutes of walking to my schedule every day.
3. I stopped drinking sweet tea and substituted it with regular cola (I was drinking 3x as much tea as cola).
4. I eat breakfast (eggs, toast and oatmeal and cofee). It makes me full so I can eat a salad at lunch and still be full. By dinner (which I eat before 7:30) I can eat much smaller portions and still feel satisfied.
5. I stopped eating processed foots - I figure those presevatives were "preserving" my fat.

Sorry...make that "processed foods" -- processed foots! Ugh! That would turn anyone's appetite! Sorry

To Rich, Brad and Diane (I couldn't continue reading the ignorant hate blather, so there are probably more ...)

Your statements that fat is a choice show your sheer lack of knowledge. Get busy and start reading about things like metabolic syndrome. Until recently, these things were DENIED by the medical community, though they make people deposit fat at a much greater rate than so-called "normal" people. Read some of the recent research about the lack of actual science behind "cholesterol is bad, eat tons of carbohydrates" and find out why so many people are obese and developing Diabetes Type II.

All notions about diet and weight are being turned on their ears, and rightly so. The food pyramid style of eating is downright deadly and obesity producing for many people, particularly anyone of an ethnicity other than European. Yet these people, according to the medicos, are "eating healthy".

Who set you up as the arbiters of what is acceptable? Your hatred is far more ugly than any fat person.

there's a hereditary disease called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome which can lead into a lot of things. one of the symptoms of PCOS is obesity (this coming from my ob-gyn, as i have this disease). having pcos leads to high insulin, which causes you to steadily gain weight over time and makes it EXTREMELY difficult to get it off. i myself have been fighting this for nearly a year and i've only lost 30 pounds (bringing me to 220). most people don't even realize that they have this disease because they can go a big part of their lives before it begins to show. there ARE ways that obesity can be genetic, not just from our metabolisms.

those fat women on the bus may be victims of pcos and not even know it. i think people need to remember that just because we're heavy doesn't mean that we're not taking care of ourselves. you think i WANT to have heart disease? you think i WANT to be infertile and never have a family of my own? i think not.

These comments prove the point that we can never know what is going on in another person's life. What many see as overeating may be a reaction to medication or an illness (example: medication that brings on weight gain) or depression (say, from the loss of a child) can bring on weight gain, and there are "skinny" people who are carrying around dangerous levels of body fat. We don't know what's going on in another's life and that's why we need to be compassionate and not ugly and judgmental. While there is obviously a lot that the overweight can do to make their weight more manageable, that is not something that is anyone else's business. None of us are perfect and few of us would like for everyone else to be able to "see" our flaws. We need more compassion and understanding and a lot less hate.

This just too funny..
let see. I am not allowed to..
fly because my 37in shoulders don't fit the 27in seats on the plane( 25in if you fly american)
use any public transportation(see flying)
have a job that works greater than 8 hours because I need at least 8 hours at the gym each day.
to eat out.
and I get paid 10-15% less than a more thin counterpart.
and I am not allowed to be a nurse.
hmmm what part of choice did I miss...
luckily...
I am an RN
Fly EVERY WEEK I share a plane with 136 of my closest friends and cuddle with at least one them every flight
use public transportation, I share with all those unclean, smelly people
have to eat out constantly
do a job that is 12-15 hours each day
get paid well for the work I do.
I don't get to spend 8 hrs a day at the gym
genetics and lifestyle - yep it is.
choice - not even close.
choice is
30in seats on public transit
an 8 hour day for my profession
food places that have wholesome food at decent prices
not have to deal with fat bigots

Hi Beth and All, I'm a fat person at 245 lbs. I was over 300 lbs not by choice. Yes by heridity. I have inheritied a form of rhematoid arthritis called Ankylosing Spondylitis. It is crippling and for 5 years I was bedridden, not able to move over 20 feet without being winded. I also have sleep apnea, another inherited challenge that my folks died of in there mid 40's. I've survived to the age of 57 years old. I had a heart attack at the age of 47 and a stent implant. I'm still working to gain muscle. At my top weight of over 310 lbs (don't know how much for sure) I was barely able to lift a one pound weight and that is how I started. According to two orthopedic surgeons my spine had deteriorated beyond surgical repair. That was in 1998. I'm still semi-mobile. On oxygen now. No I do not want to be fat. And yes I'm working as much as my spine with bone spurs will let me. I was introduced to a site called Sparks People where folks can get free info on lifestyle changes. Continued.....

this is for all who assume all fat people eat too much.... You can also gain weight by eating too little!!! Your body goes into starvation mode and you actually gain weight. Some of us are actually very healthy, except for weight. No diabetes, high blood pressure or any of the other things obesity so supposed to cause.
Saying all "fat" people are the same is like saying all white people look alike!

I had posted my sparkspeople page. It didn't come through. I'm hoping to give some encouragement to other fat, uh fluffy people like me. I won't all ways be fat, large. I have gained muscle and now can lift a whopping 5 lbs, on somedays. I posted the sparks url. http://www.sparkpeople.com/ I hope it comes through. If any of you decide to visit the Sparks people page. my id # is tawnyj5 for anyone wanting to join. It is free. We have had dairy goats for 3.5 years now. I've managed to loose 30 lbs and my husband has lost 40. He does all the heavy lifting. I'm milking one goat now and have 2 pregant pygmy goats due to kid/birth any day. Pygmy goats milk taste similar to cows milk. I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis differential. Have skin, bone and joint challenges. And medication for these challenges have caused me to maintain this weight for 1.5 years. Blessings to all. See my sparks page to see some critters. Please consider joining. It is free

Whether fat is genetic or not, it IS sign of illness, whether emotional/mental or physical.Being fat will also KILL YOU.So stop "celebrating" your fatness and do ANYTHING YOU CAN to correct it. I have had relatives die from the offshoots of obesity. There are 12 step groups to help people who are not helped by traditional means.

Yes, I would've gotten the joke just not the attitude. There are two sides to every story & quite frankly this skinny bitch is a little tired of fat/obese/fluffy (call yourself whatever the hell you want I really don't care), people wedging themselves in where they sometimes cannot fit because "you're so tiny, you don't need that much room". Who the hell asked you? I'm aware that it's an embarrassing situation to have to go places & wonder if the accommodations will accommodate you. Something that I rarely, if ever think about. When you come & insist on trying to fit where you can’t & I, now sweating & short of breath because I'm squeezed between you & whatever else on the other side (it happened, really) decide to unwedge myself after much internal debate (will they think its about more than my actual physical discomfort?) When I decide to save myself, I'm supposed to feel bad?

Hi Folks, Didn't mean to sound whiney. Was just stating facts of my health challenges and what I'm in the process of doing to regain as much of my health as possible. http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Please sign up with friends or relatives who may have told you about that program. I was told that it is semilar to weight watchers. I've never been in weight watchers. There are lots of programs. Blessings to all.

My, my, what a lot of expert advice! I found the supercilious "medical researcher" especially hilarious - the one who thought non-thin nurses should be denied employment - Let's hope he isn't gravely ill in an understaffed hospital anytime soon.

If he were truly a medical researcher he would know that there is a CAUSAL relationship between stress and fat via the hormone cortisol for many people (not all people - we are NOT all wired alike!), and that nursing, teaching and a number of other high stress jobs have a higher percentage of obese people because of their high level of environmental stress.

Obesity is a more recent problem because the stress of life is increasingly great - ever since the downsizing of job positions. Most of us are doing the work of 3 people and are told there are people standing in line for our jobs. We don't have time to be proper parents, or children to our aging parents and we have financial problems. Foreclosure anyone? Lifestyle indeed! No wonder so many of us are fat

I am a very thin person, I can eat whatever I want, but I am REPULSED by some of the comments on here against people who are overweight. Some of the comments on here are disgusting.

Too much prejudice. I'm not saying I'm perfect but show a little respect people.

I am somewhat prejudice towards fat people. I am average height and weight and I just don't believe it when obese people say, "I eat normally", no you don't. I get frustrated when I go to my seat on a plane and I have to share half of it because the person sitting next to me is so big that they are falling into mine, I don't remember paying for half a seat. If I feel I've gained a few pounds I watch what I'm eating more closely and back off of the extras and the few pounds fall off. Fat people need to do the same thing. I know lots of fat people and they overindulge themselves. It's plain and simple. If you eat less you will weigh less.

I am so seriously shocked by peoples opinions of fat people. I am 6'2" tall and weigh 232. I just had my second child. You people should be ashamed of yourselves. If you saw some homeless guy would you point out his lack of accomodations? Are we seriously talking about this? I have a 7 year old and a 2 1/2 month old. I run around like a crazy person, eat when I can and Pray foreverything else to fall into place. I guess I just don't have time to be so frickin perfect! I dare one of you "normal" people to do what I do in in one day! Oh and by the way I think you must really be a bunch of snotty selfish brats to compare me to a dirty person. I do shower everyday and I don't stink. Forgive me for not running around in speedos up and down the street trying to lose weight. I'm busy raising two children. If you spent as much time judging your prejudice as you do judging me, maybe this world would be a better place. I don't ride public transportation, but if I did I wouldn't want you to sit next to me anyway. GET A LIFE

Oh, and by the way, I would like to know if Jay is actually stating that he does not sweat because he is "normal." I find this fascinating. Jay I promise not to discriminate against you for being born without sweat glands. I guess the waste leftover from non-persperation just flows from your mouth like foul smelling hate. You too should get a life. Why are you on this site anyway, shouldn't you be on your stairstepper?

Jay, I'm also happy to know that you have never been out of breath and that your ass takes up no room whatsoever. what would we do without people like you who vanish into thin air when they step onto a bus.

I've been both very skinny and very fat. Both were ugly, but people treated me better when I was skinny. People were mean to me when I was fat - I never want to be the fat woman again. It's horrible - the looks of disgust I received.

This is in response to Dr Proctor's comments, the research Dr. First of all, you're not even a real Dr. Second of all, get over your God complex. Third & Foremost..what about the OBESE DR's in your hospital? Why just the nurse's? I know why. Because you're jealous when we know more than YOU do. I've worked with alot of your kind in the past. And you're threatened by our knowledge, so you lash out to make US look bad. Well,"Proctor" says it all. You should be thankful that any one of the great nurses in the world would stoop to HELP you out. You wouldn't be where you are today without our help. And a GREAT Dr. realizes it. I'm a damn great nurse and I could outlast, outwork, & outwit you at my job. My weight has nothing to do with it. If I'm overweight, that's MY problem. The only thing I can't do is run a marathon. Which I believe is not my job. Just accept the fact that people are different and get OVER YOURSELF. You too Rich. Who died & told you that you're great? We don't spend hrs lecturing you on being ugly

.

my friend lost 100 lbs and everyone that saw her told her how great she look and how wonderful it was.

She didn't survive the cancer and she died....but at least she was thin

"Why is it that most larger people always complain about things? They say well gee its not out fault, its the food or its genetics. And they complain about how clothes and models aren't sized for "normal" people. The country keeps getting fatter and fatter and nobody seems to be doing anything about it. If you dont want people to stare at you on the bus and if you really want someone to sit next to you (not sure why, id rather not have anyone next to me) then lose some weight and stop disgusting everyone else."

Why is it that most skinny people act like its a mortal sin to be larger? A "normal" person, by the definition of the modeling industry, is plus-sized. Of course, being 'plus-sized' is a nicer way to say overweight thses days. I beg to differ. At a healthy 130 lbs and wearing a very normal 14/16 Miss (or even Petite in some designs!) I got offended when skinny little stick girls call me fat. Not everyone can look like they haven't eaten in days, and frankly, not many of us want to.

And, "Dr Procter",

first of all, you are, quite frankly, possibly the worst person on this board. I highly doubt you are a real doctor, and frankly, I hope you get hit by a bus, and if you survive, are treated by a fat nurse.
Secondly, my mother's best friend is a nurse, and she is, to put it simply, fat. She is also the mother of a two year old boy, works 16 hour days, and is trying to lose weight. SHe is one of the best damn nurses I know. So before you start condemning people for being fat, look at their lives, and maybe think about whether or not they have time to try and lose that weight. SOme people I know barely have enough time to sleep, let alone worry about what they eat. Dr. Proctor, people like you make me sick

And, "Dr Procter",

first of all, you are, quite frankly, possibly the worst person on this board. I highly doubt you are a real doctor, and frankly, I hope you get hit by a bus, and if you survive, are treated by a fat nurse.
Secondly, my mother's best friend is a nurse, and she is, to put it simply, fat. She is also the mother of a two year old boy, works 16 hour days, and is trying to lose weight. SHe is one of the best damn nurses I know. So before you start condemning people for being fat, look at their lives, and maybe think about whether or not they have time to try and lose that weight. SOme people I know barely have enough time to sleep, let alone worry about what they eat. Dr. Proctor, people like you make me sick

Seriously? So, err, going with your postulate,.. that the person I'm sitting next to is "fat"
(relative to..? What? Me!?") Okay, easy enough.

Then that means I'm the skinny one, right?

Does sitting next to a "skinny person" make you more likely to become skinny?

Shut-up.

wow. i'm somewhat amazed by how vehement everyone on here is getting. although i must admit that i've enjoyed reading all of these comments. even though a lot of them are offensive (and, honestly, hateful) i suppose everyone's entitled to their opinion.

Seeing my daughter grow up has changed my attitude twords "obese".At age five she began to show signs of asthma.By eight she was regularly being shot up with sterois (and a host of other drugs) to controll attacks 4 to 6 times a year.By 12 she looked more like a 16 or 17 year old due to her enormus breasts. At 12 she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.After removal of her thyroid the balence of her replacement hormones determined her weight gain...to little, she gained weight. Too much, chanced kidney damage. I no longer look at an overweight person the same...I look at them as someones daughter,son,husband or wife. Skinny people on the otherhand....

I may be fat, but YOU are IGNORANT. (What's your excuse?)

Very interesting reading, all these opinions. Sad to say, that some of the folks who now seem to hate or despise fat people, may have health challenges in the future that prevent them from being mobile or they may have to take medication that causes weight gain. Then when they recall their comments here. They may beat themselves up for gaining weight and not be able to loose weight.

We had a tragedy happen down the street from us a couple of days ago. A young man, jumped in front of a car on a major highway. For some reason he was walking with 2 members of his family. The driver of the car had no way to avoid him. It was a little after 10:00 PM. I wonder if he was fat.

Folks have committed suicide because of things that were said or done by uncaring people.

I wonder if any people on this board have helped pushed a suicidal person over the edge by your actions towards them.

I hope that I haven't done or said anything cruel to anyone to make them feel that bad. Be kind.

Ok, I don't care if you are fat, a smoker, a drug addict etc. I care that because of the number of obese individuals in our country, our healthcare costs and insurance costs have sky rocketed. I think junk food and high fat, high sugar food choices should be taxed just like cigarettes and alcohol, and then that money used to cover healthcare costs! I am not predjudice about your weight, if I like you I like you! I just don't think I should have to help pay the cost of your medical problems. Each person's weight and lifestyle should be taken in to account when they are charged insurance premiums. Beleive me, you start costing people money and they will probably change!!!

Wow.. alot of anger here... I am 18, 5"4 and 153 lbs. female. I've struggled with weight all my life but made a choice to do something about my weight when I was 13. I haven't gotten to my goal weight yet (135lbs.) but everyday I'm hoping I can get there. It's hard reading these comments directed toward those who are obese. While some are good, rational arguments, others just seem biased. I won't agree that obesity is ok but I will agree that it is a choice. genetics can only play so much of a role, like diseases. Even if you don't THINK you are choosing to be overweight, it is probably time to re-evaluate your lifestyle and cutback anywhere you can. On the other hand, you can't really tax unhealthy foods because they are sold very cheaply, and most people will go for a cheap option. Also, did you know you can be average size, 120 lbs,etc, and still be more overweight then a bigger person? It's callled skinny-fat, when food is stored from lack of working out? You may look thin, but have more body fat than is ok

Probably have to be well more than 250 to be one of those disgustingly fat people that spills into the chairs next to them, and such. My gf is 5'3 200, and does not spill off into other people's chairs. I have a coworker that is 5'11 and 300, and he does not spill off into other people's chairs, either.

I do know someone who is disgustingly fat, she claims she's 250, but at 6'2, and her size, she must be pushing 500.

I was a skinny kid up until I turned 14. My mom was a marathon runner and we always ate healthy, home-cooked meals. We never even had so much as a box of Lucky Charms in the house. When I turned 14, I started gaining an unusual amount of weight. When I was 16, I was diagnosed with a thyroid condition. Medication for thyroid problems is difficult to regulate, and by the time I graduated from high school, I was over 200 lbs. I'm 30 years old now and my thyroid is now normal, but I'm still a big girl. I eat right, I take daily walks, I drink my water, I lift weights--but I'm still big. All you assholes who think you're somehow doing me and every other fat person a favor by glaring at us while we go about our lives can stick it where the sun don't shine. I take excellent care of myself, my skin is beautiful, I smell quite lovely and I've known many men who loved sharing "personal space" with me. I'm just SO thankful I'm not a heartless jerk-off who makes mistreats people based on assumptions I make about their lives!

Maybe it's just because my mother and a couple of my close relatives are obese, but I really don't see how people can look at obese people and react in a drastic way. I mean, really. Fat person. Big whoop.

Then again, it is somewhat repulsive when people are obese simply because they do not take care of themselves. Genetics or not, you need to do something about it.

And to contrast, being underweight isn't fun either. I'm fourteen, 5'2", 85 - 90 lbs. My physician/doctor told me I could've been considered anorexic or something. I'm currently taking measures to get to a healthy weight...But I'm getting off-topic, I think.

I am not and never have been disgusted with overweight people and I don't see why others are. Again with the whole taking action thing, but seriously now. There isn't too much to be taken aghast by. But maybe that's just me.

I am completely shocked and stunned by the hatred, discrimination, and vile negativity I have found in these comments. What I find completely ironic is that most of you probably call yourselves Christians - it is afterall the most common religion in this country. It appears that the practice of non judgment applies only if you are skinny (and we all wonder why so many of our teen age girls have eating disorders).

I'm 16, 5'9.5", and 200-and-some-odd lbs. I'm trying to lose weight and have been all my life. I come from a big Italian family, and Italians know how to eat. My parents and I haven't always been careful about how much we eat, though. Back when I started middle school, people (peers and adults alike) have been calling me "fat" to my face. I've always had problems finding clothes that look good on me, too (I'm sure most overweight people here can relate). This only ended up making me feel worse about myself than I already did, which resulted in my emotional eating when I was upset after being mercilessly teased. To all of you out there who think "fat people" are gross, you're only adding fuel to the fire by calling us overweight individuals rude names, pointing and whispering, giving us dirty looks, etc. TJN, I completely agree with what you have to say! And Kurt, 6'2" people are supposed to weigh more than other people, so leave that woman alone because you have no idea how much she really weighs.

FatLibrarian, you go girl! Thanks for saying everything that I didn't get a chance to say, you are completely correct.

I am overweight, very overweight. I have been overweight since I hit puberty. I really hated myself for it for a really long time. When I was a teenager I joined weight watchers, I followed it for a year with minimal weight loss. I exercised regularly & played sports until I was almost 20 years old. I would go days w/o food to punish myself for being fat. I seriously hated myself for it and I took every little thing that everyone did as their bias against me for being fat. I thought something was wrong, because I ate less than my friends & exercised & played sports. When I asked my pediatrician he called me a liar. I got tired fighting & stopped exercising & started eating whatever (then I got really fat). Finally when I was 24 a doctor took the time to diagnosis what was actually wrong & put me on medication. Now I can lose weight, but it is slow going. Now I dont have to hate myself because I can understand why. But you morons out there go on hating... Whatever, I cant change you, just me.

If Rich is such a well-balanced, perfect example of a human being why does he have so much time to spread his viciosness. Doesn't he have someone else to abuse?

The vicious, hate-filled, and discriminatory comments on this thread are really quite shocking to me. We wonder why our politicians are divisive and hateful and our Congress and Senate cannot work together to better our nation? We wonder why our children taunt each other mercilessly until some of them develop eating disorders? We need only look in the mirror to find out where the negativity needs to stop. I challenge each and every person on this board to go one entire day without making any disparaging, condescending, hateful comments to or about anyone else. I challenge you to be the bigger person. I challenge you to walk away from the gossipers and complainers and not add fuel to the fire. See how good you feel when you let go of negativity. Happy people don't need to put others down. Happy people can live and let live. Overweight people are people, not sub-humans for you to criticize and chastise and "help" by giving nasty looks. It breaks my heart when people act so horribly toward others.

I don't buy it. I do agree that it may have "some" effect as in you start to feel that it's ok as long as your not "as fat" as the person sitting next to you. In any event try Slim-30 if you're trying to lose weight! woohoo!

I'd like to know how you can tell if the overweight person spilling into your seat isn't in the process of fighting their weight problem?

How do you know he or she isn't mortified when they look in the mirror and doing everything they can to get this under control?

How do you know whether they have been successful and lost a good amount of weight so far, only to be made to feel like their efforts aren't enough, when they're faced with ignorant people who assume that they know everything there is to know about a person just by looking at them?

Last year when I went on a submarine ride with my family, I sat down in a seat and the next person, a fat woman, sat down heavily on my hip and thigh. She didn't even apologize as I pulled myself out from under her. I didn't make a sound because I was shocked. I would have been happy to move over to make room for her, but the round bowl-like indentations in the bench indicated where we were supposed to be sitting.

"Why is it that most skinny people act like its a mortal sin to be larger?... I got offended when skinny little stick girls call me fat. Not everyone can look like they haven't eaten in days, and frankly, not many of us want to"

Please understand something. I weigh 132 lbs, I'm 5'9" tall. Right now is the most i've ever weighed in my life, and I'm three months pregnant. My best friend is more than slightly overweight. She's the most beautiful person I've ever met in my life. My nickname was "beanpole"/"twiggy" growing up. I have an excessively overactive metabolism and it took being pregnant to get me to weigh more than 115 lbs. Or be less than 20 lbs. underweight. I eat like a horse, and tried for years to gain weight. I was told I could not carry a baby unless I gained weight. Ppl always asked if I planned on getting help for my anorexia. I'd never eaten less than 4000 calories a day. My dr. told my mom to take me to mcD's twice a week when I was little. Not all skinny girls think stuff like that. I don't.

Thank you, "normal people" for showing such concern for our health and well-being by calling us disgusting and comparing our weight to (among other things) Britney Spears flashing her crotch in public. I can totally see the correlation there.

I also love the assumption that, if you are fat, you must do nothing but sit around and eat "triple cheeseburgers" all day.

I work at a museum, I babysit my nephew, I go on hikes in the woods, I sing on praise team, I take ballroom dance, I'm on committees, I've acted professionally (yes, this fat ass actually got paid to sing and dance), done modeling work, and my blood pressure and cholesterol are on the low side of normal.

Now, could I try to fit some extra exercise into my schedule? Sure.
Could I choose not to indulge in the occasional fast food? Absolutely.
Would I be tickled if I were thinner. Of course.

But how dare you assume you know ANYTHING about my life and the choices I make just because you've managed to observe that I'm not a size 2, or 6, or even 14.

It is interesting how polarizing this issue seems to be. I just got back from living in Spain for 3 months and if being fat is genetic, somehow the Spainards don't seem to be all that affected. The vast majority of the obese people I saw in Spain were tourists and most of them were American.

The reality is, most obese people are not obese because they are genetically predetermined to be, they are obese because of the environment they live in and the daily choices they make.

There is something happening here in the US. Our food portions are huge if you compare them to the portions of just a few decades ago. We are working more hours and as a result probably more stressed and less likely to have time to work out. Add to that the increase in processed foods and the lack of natural foods in our diet. It is no wonder obesity is becoming an epidemic.

Obesity it seems, is merely a symptom of our society. You can treat symptoms all you want but until you address the cause there is no cure.

One day on a bus I saw what looked like empty seats toward the back, on a side facing bench. I got to the back of the bus and first saw a woman so heavy she took up two seats. I looked at her companion to see if he was in any way ashamed to be with a woman so heavy. No, he was so heavy he took up two seats as well. They were engaged in conversation across the middle, empty seat. Who would have been comfortable taking that seat? The result: We all pay the same price to ride the bus, but two people were taking up 5 seats.

skinny-not-so-bitch, I am truly heartwarmed reading your comment. It is really awesome to know that there are skinny people out there who don't think you have to be skinny to be beautiful. I wish you the best of luck with your baby. My prayers will go with you in the hopes that you bring a healthy child into this world without any harm to yourself.

I agree that it is not always genetics that determine whether one is fat or skinny. But please, people, do the world a favor and get all the facts before you judge someone on their weight. When you say that a fat person is just lasy, you are making generalization. I know plenty of lazy skinny people too.

High Five to mamabigdog (march 13)

Kudos to the teenager who said (I'm paraphrasing) 'so, some people are overweight - big deal.' You know, most of us can see diversity in front of us -young, old, big, small, different colors, gay, straight, etc., and not react. It registers, and that's all. Not all of us glare at people who don't seem to be exact replicates of ourselves.

As a fat/plump/full figure/obese what ever.....I have found that sitting next to a diet conscience person has made me more aware of what I eat and I have found that my foods of choice have changed to just simply eat healthy and in doing that have found myself actually going vegan with a lot more interest of no meat, no fur, no milk etc. How did I get (FAT) I just found myself in a high stressed job where I gave little if no time to myself and let fast food cater to me as I was always on the go. So you don't always get fat by over eating or being lazy it can creep up on you by just eating at the wrong time, eating the wrong foods and getting burned out. The important thing is to be healthy. Go Vegan!!!

Citing extremely rare metabolic disorders is fine and dandy . . . but since most obese people don't have them, it's not really that useful to this conversation. I agree with the person who mentioned that the food pyramid is ridiculous -- but just because our government doesn't know about correct nutrition doesn't mean you can't educate yourself about it. Also, eating a perfectly balanced diet won't help you lose weight unless you eat LESS of it.

And I don't think I've been "hateful" in any of my posts. I realize it's a difficult process to lose weight and keep it off. Quitting smoking is also a difficult process. It's out of concern for our collective health as a nation that I reject all of this "getting fat is OK" talk, just as I reject "smoking is OK" talk.

Horrifying generalizations! Appreciation to those who can look beyond the superficial.
Am overweight - progressively. Also, happen to have had systemic progressive debilitating physical conditions. You're frustrated?? Have been more so watching masses overconsume, take for granted and abuse their bodies. I've never eaten a triple burger or entire container of anything. I cook from scratch using fresh ingredients, limit quantities & frequency of intake. Eating out is a rarity. Am physically able to do little or no exercise.
Overindulgence and laziness are not only societal epidemics, but exist across strata.
It's appalling to experience the hate, ignorance, prejudice, and stupidity of so many. The perpetrators should exercise their brain and humanity in addition to their biceps. Give people the benefit of the doubt. One shouldn't have to advertise their life history or justify themselves to earn common courtesy. You really don't know anything about someone until you've invested the time to get to know them.

I exercise an hour a day, much of it fairly vigorous. For 27 years, I have been a vegetarian and the large majority of what I eat (by weight) is fruits and vegetables. I have never eaten a triple cheeseburger in my life. In fact, I pretty much never eat enough to make me feel full. And yet, I am obese.

All you people who say that being obese is my fault, or that it's OK to deny me a job because I'm "obviously" not taking care of myself, what exactly is it that you want me to do? I bet my lifestyle is WAY healthier than yours is!

Judy, have you ever counted the exact number of calories you eat per day? Have you figured out your BMR? Exercising every day and being a vegetarian is great (it's certainly the exception among fat or skinny people in the US), so yes, your lifestyle is healthier than almost anyone else's. That doesn't mean you'll lose weight. And, that doesn't mean you'll BE healthier than a skinny person who eats crap and never exercises. That skinny person probably won't get osteoarthritis, but you have a good chance of getting it. Even if you have Prader-Willi, or some other extremely rare disorder, it's still all about calorie intake.

I'm fat. I have type two diabetes which was only recently diagnosed. However, one of the main symptoms of diabetes is that you feel as if you can eat a house. When I complained about that symptom, and the fact that if I didn't eat I began trembling and getting weak, sweaty and my eyes blurred. This took place over several years during which I gained more and more weight.

I went to a dietician who put on a diet. I ate rice cakes, a baked potatoe, lots of salad and chicken. Had they known I was diabetic, they would have known that the rice and potatoes added to my symptoms.

Now I'm on medication and I count carbs. At least now we know what was causing the weight gain. I still feel as if I could eat a house, but I now how to control it now.

Try a little compassion. You never when you lovely svelt body will turn on you and you will become the pariah.

hey whats up? i actually was reading something else in the news when i saw the crazy headline. being a kid and all, i dont get much respect from all those skinny kids out there. well, i WAS really fat for my age (13, 5'1, 190 pounds) but then i just gave in to all those mean people who made fun of me daily by going on a diet. things are way different now(14, 5'4, 11 pounds) but i'll never forget those cruel little kids. the funny thing is, they all want to be my friend now.

"You never when you lovely svelt body will turn on you and you will become the pariah."

When my lovely body turns on me, I'll do what it takes to counteract the new metabolism. You don't have to sit there and watch yourself get fat just because your metabolism decides to slow down . . .

Seven months ago I weighed 380-lbs. and I commuted by Metro every day. What a nightmare! At least once per day someone would volunteer something loud and ugly to me, even when the bus was 2/3 empty, or when I was simply waiting for the next bus. About 99% of these LOUD critics were mentally ill and/or intoxicated.

I bought a car and stopped commuting by bus, joined the HMR program at my local hospital, joined a gym, and have lost 100-lbs. in 29 weeks. I'm blessed with the resources to pay $100 per month in program fees, plus $65 per month for the gym, plus several hundred dollars for a completely new work wardrobe (twice!), plus gas and insurance for my new car, which enables me to fit HMR classes and trips to the gym into my over-packed work schedule.

But I bet that if I rode Metro tomorrow, some "helpful" person would mutter that I "ought to DO SOMETHING" about my fat butt, never realizing that my fat butt is already 100-lbs. smaller due to my VERY HARD WORK! Is there a "diet" to cure being rude and mean?

I hope it's OK to recommend HMR programs? It's not for everyone (everyone is different, after all) but it has really helped me. I know exactly what goes in my mouth (and how much I burn) for the first time in my life. I couldn't do it on my own. It was too complicated and frustrating. The health educator in my local HMR program has taught me to calculate my basal metabolism and how much I burn via exercise, plus how much I can eat per day to keep up my weight-loss momentum. I'm completely off of oral diabetes meds and insulin now! We have an elderly gal on oxygen and a walker who has lost 40-lbs. It's challenging but IT CAN BE DONE. Google the HMR website to see if there is a program in your area. I can't praise HMR's diet enough, but the health educator makes a difference! Our class has done exceptionally well, but I know other classes (different group, different teacher) have NOT done as well. You need the right mix of inspiration, dedication, determination - PLUS the correct information.

I'm trying to post a link to the HMR program website. Hope it works. Thanks to all of you who understand that being obese is not the same as being worthless.

Your posts really made my evening. ;0)

Obesity is a complicated thing and not as simple as many would make it seem. Every body processes food differently and for some it may mean no matter how little they eat or how much they exercise they have a propensity to gain weight.
then there are the medical profession telling us fat is unhealthy. So you turn to diets and there are a million. So you pick one but believe a dr somewhere will always have something in it is that is unhealthy. One day its is eggs are bad don't eat them the next its eat eggs you'll lose weight. In the end you are desperately trying them all and you end up gaining more than you lose.
People with great metabolism could never hope to understand what is like to gain weight just by looking at chocolate.
It is wrong to look at a person and think you know why they are fat.
If we could just not judge people by their looks but by their actions it would help us all.
Hell even actresses have struggled with weight and they have all the money and access to the best medical care.

I have never been but maybe 10 lbs overweight so I can't imagine what it is like to have people look at you in disgust. NOT I am black and people look at me like that at least once a day. Point being is that I can't change my skin color but overweight people can change their weight.Come on now people!

asside from medical issues, in most cases fat people are that way from overeating. Don't like the looks, try eating one bigmac instead of 3, eat one donut instead of a dozen. It's easy.. eat normally instead of like its your last meal, and there will be plenty of seats with out the overflow of flesh.

I am an Indian and genetically prone to gaining weight. I medically have a slow metabolism and I've learned to deal with it. By eating less and working out more. I understand some people have serious medical issues which causes obesity. But looking at the food habits and lifestyle here both with kids and adults I do believe that is the primary reason for extreme obesity in this country. Sure there are overweight people everywhere in the world, but the definition of overweight is truly stretched here. I see huge people making themselves bigger and bigger. it's like a vicious cycle of saying I'm so fat, I can't do anything about it, I'm depressed and I'm going to eat some more. Get off your butt, go and workout and eat less. Sure it's hard and sure it will hurt for a while and you'll be craving food but the rewards for it are more than worth it. It's the sheer willpower most people seem to lack. I feel sorry for obese people and the digs they've to take.

But they need to understand what they're doing to themselves. I'm had periods in my life where I've gone on a weight gain spree only to get to a certain point and say I can't let myself go anymore. I need to take charge and get my confidence up and my weight back down!I appreciate Kim's way of dealing with it but it would be heartening to see her putting the same effort in doing something concrete about the problem rather than trying to fight off a social stigma. Obesity is a REAL problem in this country. There is so much obesity among kids, it's scary because (un)healthy habits start young. You stuff a kiddo with Nuggets and Fries 3 days a week guess what kind of an adult you end up raising.An obese one who craves the fries and then sues McDonald for obesity and resulting health issues!!! Ridiculous!

Most of Europe you'll hardly find obese people. Because people walk around a lot and eat "normal" portions of food (human-sized as I like to call it). Coming from India, the portions here were huge. Huge soft drinks, huge burgers, huge portions at restaurants. Although I've lived here for 10 years I'm still amazed by how large the portions here are when you're eating out. And to top that people hardly get any physical exercise of any sort on a regular basis... there are some basic lifestyle choices that every individual has to make. If you have a culture where you fix a meal rather than cook a meal you're bound to make wrong food choices and eat a lot of processed food unless you're eating salads all day long (and yes not with Ranch dressing!)

Welcome to the new millennium in America: over the past few decades, the average plate size has grown to accommodate our ravenous appetites. Many Americans don't even bother to sit at a table to eat our meals anymore if we even make it out of our cars. We've transformed most major holidays into a celebration of consumerism & excess (Christmas: buy stuff & eat & drink, Halloween: dress up, eat candy & drink, Thanksgiving: gorge on food & drink, Cinco de Mayo, 4th of July, New Year's: drink, drink, & blow stuff up and drink!) Yes, I join in like most others, but to quote the raccoon in the great animated movie Over the Hedge "We eat to live, humans Live to Eat!" Even kids are fat! Why? Because parents train them into this behavior by rewarding them with food--& not good food, either! This is why you hear adults say things like..."Oh, I'm ordering dessert tonight because I DESERVE IT!" Well, if you believe in that kind of reasoning, then yes, you Do deserve it AND the huge butt. HOWEVER, it's no license for meanness

I'll follow up the previous (my) posting by accentuating that last line: "HOWEVER, it's no license for meanness." It's true that kids who grow up rewarded with trips to McDonalds and with cookies & junk & the kind of treats (YOU KNOW I'm talking about Mom putting Twinkies in the lunch box or buying sugary cereal)...they tend to grow up into adults who eat because it makes them feel satisfied (briefly)...Until their waistlines grow into obese proportions from eating "because I deserve it." Let's help our kids not have to worry about losing weight. Let's not allow them the sugary cereals. Let's only allow the occasional cookie & encourage things like fruit as an after-school snack. Let's train them well so they don't get to high school & live off the vending machine or the pizza & cinnamon rolls from the ala carte line (YES, they DO!) You DESERVE to put good food into YOUR body & so do they. Hot wings are DELICIOUS, but eating well & seeing that training for your 1st 10k race lost you 20lbs, is far more satisfying.

this is my 3rd (and final posting here...the previous 2 posts are mine...read them first if you care).
All of that said, I can't emphasize enough, that as much as I wholeheartedly believe in everything I wrote here, I in NO way believe that it's OK to make anyone feel like a 2nd class citizen for being overweight. I might ruffle feathers of some obese individuals when say that it's not right for me to pay for my 1 seat on an airplane and then have someone who takes up 2 seats come in & take up half the row at the same price & at the sacrifice of the comfort of his/her neighboring passengers. It's not fair to me & it's not fair for you to complain because the chairs are too small. Still, we can treat one another nicely in public.
I'm a big fan of quoting movies, so I'll close with a quote. Vanilla Sky: "Every passing second is another chance to turn it all around." It's never too late. At any second you decide to live healthier (and longer.) Help & Support are a click away on the internet. Good Luck & Play Nice.

I am obese, have been all my life. I have had bariatric surgery, been on every diet and walked a million miles...But I am still fat. I try to avoid flying in planes and riding buses as much as possible. It is uncomfortable for a fat person to be crowded as much as a thin one. I have come to terms with my body size. Those who know me love me . I have had my share of rude remarks and stares. I simply smile and stay polite, I feel bad but I have become a very good actress. Those who shun me because I am fat are the losers. I am a very nice person and fun to be around and I accept others for who they are. My friends accept and love me. I feel sorry for those of you who feel compelled to judge others or think you are better because you are thin.
Live and Let live. If someone chooses to stand its their choice, if they sit down beside a fat person hopefully both will enjoy the visit.

I can't believe that in this day and age there are still people who believe that we choose to be fat. If it was so easy to be thin, there would be no fat people. Judge not lest ye be judged!!

I'm a slim 5 ft 102 lbs mother of 5 children. All my close girlfriends are over weight I've never treated them different from myself. I just accepted them in who they are. If you love yourself then you should love others.

Paige: do you really weigh 11 pounds??

i think people need to worry more about them selfs then worry about someone else thats the problem today people are so unhappy with there own life they have to pick on others less forinet i work in a nursing home and i see this problem daily if you critisize people and dont help them you take away there self esteme and thats bad instead of treating heavy people badly they might have problems like thyroid or other problems i would never critisize anyone because i would not want that done to me people have feelings i lost weight because my doctor worked with me i use to weight over three hundred pounds and now im down to one ninety nine pounds and it was because some one worked with me and helped me with suport not hatedred because i was big so be supportive and dont critisize you never know it might happen to you some day were you will be in there shoes or have another problem and you would not like to feel rejected would you?

i think people need to worry more about them selfs then worry about someone else thats the problem today people are so unhappy with there own life they have to pick on others less forinet i work in a nursing home and i see this problem daily if you critisize people and dont help them you take away there self esteme and thats bad instead of treating heavy people badly they might have problems like thyroid or other problems i would never critisize anyone because i would not want that done to me people have feelings i lost weight because my doctor worked with me i use to weight over three hundred pounds and now im down to one ninety nine pounds and it was because some one worked with me and helped me with suport not hatedred because i was big so be supportive and dont critisize you never know it might happen to you some day were you will be in there shoes or have another problem and you would not like to feel rejected would you?

Seriously, Paige, good going! From 190 to the 1-10s - that's excellent! Congratulations! And as for those cruel little kids who all want to be your friends now: I sincerely hope you told them exactly where to go, and packed a bag lunch for 'em on the way!! ;)

To "dead friend": I'm very sorry to hear about it. :'(

The real problem highlighted by this story has nothing to do with what others think of her, but rather what she thinks of herself. This story opens with the absurd statement that she is comfortable with her size and weight i.e. accepting. What bullshit!

We all pay for her inability to attempt to keep herself a healthy weight. Just wait until all the little blimps going to elementary school grow up to be 400 pounds or more. Is it okay for them to be accepting of their weight? What bullshit!

i have to agree about some of the things kat said not all but i also agree that it is harder for some people to loose weight then others due to having thyroid problems or maybe other medical issues it is not right for others to judge i supported my friend who recently lost over one hundred pounds and with out that suport she migh have given up maybe but the point is i understand people get upset with people who are over weight but it is not nice to critisize people of any weight even very thin people get picked on i see it every day at my job i work with a girl who is so skinny and has problems with people teasing her she cries she trys to gain but cant but she does not lose weight either she only weights one hundred pounds now thats thin i was over weight one time and now i am thinner because i decided for my self to lose i feel better but at that time it was hard now i stick to a menu i can handle and i have fun with salads and vegtables and fruits and very little meat i watch the carbs and the fats

TRUE STORY:

I'm skinny, and have been taking buses all my life. I've once sat on a bus and had an empty seat next to me. This huge fat lady gets on a bus, passes a few empty seats, and decides to sit next to me thinking I am skinny so she will get more space.
It turns out, she is pear shaped, has two pillow size butts on the side and one of these 'pillow butts' is in my lap. She was so embarrassed, but made small talk, and apologized for having 'so many napkins in her pockets'. I laughed so hard! I replied 'that's why I don't carry napkins'. ahahahah
She was the nices FAT LADY I ever met, and thanked me profusely for letting me sit next to her.
That was 5 years ago, and I have still not forgotten my this funny bus story!
Everytime I see a big bunch of napkins it makes me laugh!! HAHAHA

Wow! I could only read a few of these posts but I am amazed at some of the ignorant things I read in here. In order to love myself I need to buy a bike and lose weight? I don't know about anybody else, but I am overweight and I love myself just fine (as does my gorgeous "normal" (??) sized husband, and every friend and family member I have. I promise not to discriminate against stinky smokers, "skinny bitches" (one of the most derogatory words ever, by the way) or anyone else, if you promise to not be nasty, callous, mean, ugly, etc. I can lose weight, but you nasty people - well, how do you change "inside" ugly?

I've been very very overweight, and now, I am thin. I have noticed this, people are QUITE content to squish themselves next to a thin person. Its not about comfort, why dont you just tell the truth?

Grow up people. At some point in time this society as a whole has to take responsibility for its actions. Since that's gonna' be a long time coming it'd be nice if the individual members of same might set an example by taking responsibility for theirs. Prejudice is wrong but taught to us from birth. Our entire culture revolves around youth and beauty...and conspicuous consumption. Who should I feel sorrier for...the anorexic slowly starving herself to death or the poor fatty that doesn't like to be stared at on a bus? I'm not denying certain conditions can be related to actual medical problems, but I'm hearing a lot of rationalizations
here on both sides. Shame on all of ya'll!!! If you're harboring fear-based (phobic) prejudices, or just disgust for those you'd rather not associate with at least have the good taste to keep those feelings to yourself. And BTW, being fat isn't a license to be rude and violate others 'space'.

I especially liked the 'I.Q.' comment and the reaction to Dr. Proctor.

Me today, you tomorrow. A thing my grandmother always said. Means that today I may be the person you make ugly comments to to make yourself feel better, but you don't know what circumstance will befall you that then puts you on the receiving end. And until that happens to you, you won't know what I am talking about. I am glad that I can say I am a genuinely nice person who is good and kind and I feel sorry for people who have to put others down to feel better about themselves. You have my sympathy, and I sincerely hope you are never on the receiving end of ridicule, cruelty, hatred, prejudice, etc. May fate always smile on you.

Would things be different if the subject of this story were a male? Why is it more disgusting for a female to be overweight than a male? So far I have only read posts that say how disgusting it is for women to be overweight.

I'm fat and I don't give a crap.The story about exercise and eat right and you'll enjoy your golden years is baloney.I know, I'm in the medical field and get to see all of the health nuts fall apart.Anyone remember Jim Fix, or whatever his name was?Money is the only consolation in old age.

I am a mother of a 2 year old girl, I am overweight. I honestly am not going to make an excuse for my weight. Yes, there are people who have medical conditionds. But I don't have willpower. It's not an excuse, but I don't know how to start anything or keep on track. I want to start a weight loss thing with other people from my community. Does anyone know how I could find out about something like that? I am sick of being overweight. I know my fiance loves me for me, but I want better for him. And my daughter. I do take great care of her, and myself. We go out to do things, but I don't watch what I eat. I don't eat excessively, but I eat reg. meals and don't exercise. I want my energy back, I don't remember what it feels like to be skinny. I want that feeling back, I want to be able to do all kinds of energetic things with my daughter. Argh, so frustrating.....

I am a mother of a 2 year old girl, I am overweight. I honestly am not going to make an excuse for my weight. Yes, there are people who have medical conditionds. But I don't have willpower. It's not an excuse, but I don't know how to start anything or keep on track. I want to start a weight loss thing with other people from my community. Does anyone know how I could find out about something like that? I am sick of being overweight. I know my fiance loves me for me, but I want better for him. And my daughter. I do take great care of her, and myself. We go out to do things, but I don't watch what I eat. I don't eat excessively, but I eat reg. meals and don't exercise. I want my energy back, I don't remember what it feels like to be skinny. I want that feeling back, I want to be able to do all kinds of energetic things with my daughter. Argh, so frustrating.....

I am a mother of a 2 year old girl, I am overweight. I honestly am not going to make an excuse for my weight. Yes, there are people who have medical conditionds. But I don't have willpower. It's not an excuse, but I don't know how to start anything or keep on track. I want to start a weight loss thing with other people from my community. Does anyone know how I could find out about something like that? I am sick of being overweight. I know my fiance loves me for me, but I want better for him. And my daughter. I do take great care of her, and myself. We go out to do things, but I don't watch what I eat. I don't eat excessively, but I eat reg. meals and don't exercise. I want my energy back, I don't remember what it feels like to be skinny. I want that feeling back, I want to be able to do all kinds of energetic things with my daughter. Argh, so frustrating.....

I would like to comment about one of the reasons stated for being overweight, that being hypothyroidism. what happens when you have it bad is basically your brain shuts down. your mind gets foggy, you can't make decisions, you can sit in your chair for HOURS just doing nothing but breathe, and it won't seem abnormal. how can you exercise when you can't think? how can you make good food from scratch when driving to McDonald's requires no effort? And the synthetic thyroid pills they give you usually take effect only after 6 weeks or so. It's hard to wake up from a 6 year semi-coma.
Also, last time i was on a plane i had a window seat, and wow those seats were small. i was able to scrunch up against the window and it was the average (non-fat) guy next to me that was taking up all the room.

I am surprised with what I read here. I don't know whether to get angry or just pity you haters. I guess I am an optimist, but I thought our country had progressed a lot farther that this. I agree with the people who have said that everyone has a story. The homeless man with a scab, the man with hairy smelly armpits, the high school dropout, the women (or man for that matter) who takes up more than one seat, etc., they all have their own story. You, and by you I mean the ones who are "disgusted by" and "pity those fatties," assume to know them and their story, "overweight people are all alike." By judging them and assuming, you make an a** out of you and me. Oh wait, in this case, just you. A big fat a**.

"I'm fat and I don't give a crap.The story about exercise and eat right and you'll enjoy your golden years is baloney.I know, I'm in the medical field and get to see all of the health nuts fall apart."

You must be one of the dumbest people in the entire medical profession. Shut up and quit confusing people and destroying their hope!

why can't everyone just be nice?

does the phrase "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" mean anything to anyone? Even the gal who got the "hateful glare", could the one who gave the glare been thinking about something else and you were in her line of fire? Maybe she was like me-perfectly sane,but yet talking to herself!

I guess I am surprised by the F** word being thrown around so much. It was thrown out at my work and ALL of us fat and thin alike recoiled in horror as if it were a racial slur being thrown out. I guess I wasn't surprised that weeks later it is still being remembered as a horrible day at work for the young woman who was the recipient of the words "you're too fat!" She is usually tearing up when it is brought up-even if she is the one who brought it up. Just don't be so cruel.

Does anyone have anything to say about the "diarrhea of the mouth" epidemic going on in this country? You can't just say anything and expect to not offend someone!

I said here that I exercise an hour a day, have been a vegetarian for 27 years, rarely eat enough to feel full, and am still obese. The very next poster told me that this wasn't enough, and "it's all about calorie intake."

The thing is, when I cut my calories any futher, I'm so famished that I can't sleep and can't function at work. Maybe even worse is how cold I get -- my body temperature has dropped as low as 94.5 degrees when I diet.

All those people here that think I'm a glutton, what do you expect me to do about the extreme hunger and cold that I feel when I cut my calories more? Do you really expect people to be able to stay hungry every moment for the rest of their lives, even while everyone around them is eating? Or do you not believe that some people will feel constantly famished and freezing cold if they cut their food intake enough to lose weight? I really, really want to know. Please tell me!

And by the way, there IS a contagous virus that can cause obesity. Google "adenovirus 36 obesity"

Several times I've also had a large fat person next to me on a plane, who was taking up part of my seat. Look, this is just blatantly unfair, and even the fat people know it. We each paid for 1 seat, and have the fair expectation of 1 seat and 1 seat only. I've come to realize that the reason the airlines don't solve this problem is that 95% of us don't complain. We just sit there and suffer, afraid to speak up. Who wants to risk hurting feelings of person sitting right next to you? If we want this proboem solved, we all have to start complaining to the airlines. Until they start getting a large number of complaints, this issue will go on forever.

Wow, in skimming comments here, I have learned that being overweight is equivalant to being a slob, and "inherently bad", and an overweight person should expect to not get a job based on their appearance, and has no right to travel. Guess I should just crawl into a hole and die then.
Losing weight is not an easy thing. I have lost weight only to re-gain it all. It is very easy to simply say, oh well eat less; in reality it is not that simple.
One more thing: whatever you think of someone you see who is overweight, you have no idea what their situation is. You don't know if perhaps they were bedridden for a year and that is how they became overweight, or if it was caused by medication (not that the cause should matter), maybe they currently ARE successfully dieting (it doesn't work instantly), etc. etc. People are so quick to judge, not just based on weight, but on whatever else they can assess at first glance. Heaven forbid anyone gets to know anyone without first judging if they are "acceptable".

To Jessica, the mother who wants to lose weight (and anyone else who's interested), check out Webmd for advice on weight loss; they also have a nice community of others trying to lose weight on their "diet club" message boards. You can also track your progress on fitday.com. Both of these helped me (until I stopped using them! lol). Good luck!

To Jessica, the mother who wants to lose weight (and anyone else who's interested), check out Webmd for advice on weight loss; they also have a nice community of others trying to lose weight on their "diet club" message boards. You can also track your progress on fitday.com. Both of these helped me (until I stopped using them! lol). Good luck!

To Jessica, the mother who wants to lose weight (and anyone else who's interested), check out Webmd for advice on weight loss; they also have a nice community of others trying to lose weight on their "diet club" message boards. You can also track your progress on fitday.com. Both of these helped me (until I stopped using them! lol). Good luck!

I "loved" the comment by the doctor who thought we should give all the overweight nurses some time off to lose weight! What a laugh. As an overweight nurse (20yr veteran) I can tell you that long hours on your feet with no breaks for meals is NOT the way to maintain a healthy lifestyle. We rarely have time to go to the bathroom,let alone find time to eat. I challenge all of you skinnies to go to work for one day and hit the ground running...don't eat and I mean don't even keep your water bottle handy, because eating or drinking in patient areas is prohibited. Oh and remember,don't think just because your 8 hours are in, you are entitled to a "break". You may only leave your post if someone else doesn't call in sick. Yeah we are not all "intentionally" overweight. Sure hope you don't end up as a patient in an already understaffed hospital that decides to embrace the good doctors philosophy. Because you may not have anyone at all to care for you.

As many have stated,sitting next to an obese person is uncomfortable. For one thing, you end up hanging over the side of the seat, and I do not care to have a stranger's body pressed closed to mine. It bothers me when I hear overweight individuals constantly making excuses why they are eating that large piece of cake, junk food and that liter of soda. Because they are already FAT, they should instead, use some will power and take a 30 minute walk each day.

Two things: First, I'm a "thin" who takes care of myself and remains thin, despite the culture of obesity in my family. So much for it being genetic! And yes, I am uncomfortable sitting next to an obese stranger on public transport (on the rare occasion I use it - I walk nearly everywhere), because I don't want to have to touch a stranger of *any* description. It just happens that if that person is obese, I'm more likely to have to touch them. It's a boundary, and as any therapist will tell you (those of you who are suggesting self-assessment; I've been through *years* of it), it's a perfectly healthy boundary.

That said, I am far more disgusted by the offensive tone of many of the posts here than I would be sitting next to an obese person. As stated above, most of my family is obese, as well as friends and ex's, and they are for the most part wonderful, loving, giving people. For some, there are medical reasons: thyroid, PCOS, &c. But either way, they deserve not abuse, but encouragement to do better.

I also agree that modern media holds up and absolutely ridiculous standard for women to measure up to. However, what we have been talking about here is *obesity,* not those of us who have a healthy amount of fat on our bones. At 28% body fat I'm hardly a supermodel, but I'm well within the healthy range.

Oh, and Denise? I've done that. Double shifts, too. And if the hospital you work at won't even let you drink water in front of a patient, there is something *seriously* wrong with your administration, as they are just inviting someone to pass out from dehydration on the job. I recommend finding a new one.

come on. they don't sit next to you because there's no room! get a clue. i've been on the bus many times and the "fat" person is taking up a seat and a half...so, there's no where for me to sit. the "fat" person should stand..burn some calories. get off the seat. get off your butt. quit blaming discrimination for your problems. it's your problem, not everyone else's.

this is a note to brad who said:

Sympathy for overweight people is ridiculous. Its amazing that people complain about smokers so much, with factually incorrect arguments about them raising health insurance (taxes more than cover any such raise), but no one says a word about fat asses to choose to clog their arteries. Lets start taxing saturaated fat then! Its only natural to be repulsed by that which is unhealthy, the same way you fatties probably are repulsed when you see a homeless person with some bizarre scab on their leg.
If I see an overweight woman chowing down a triple cheeseburger, I would be doing her and everyone else a disservice by NOT giving her a dirty look. Posted by brad on March 13

Brad, I would rather be balding, 100 pounds overweight, with warts all over my face - than have to go through life as you. No matter how good-looking you think you may be on the outside, you are obviously extremely ugly on the inside. You are seriously mental disturbed and need the help of a professional.

this is a note to brad who said:

Sympathy for overweight people is ridiculous. Its amazing that people complain about smokers so much, with factually incorrect arguments about them raising health insurance (taxes more than cover any such raise), but no one says a word about fat asses to choose to clog their arteries. Lets start taxing saturaated fat then! Its only natural to be repulsed by that which is unhealthy, the same way you fatties probably are repulsed when you see a homeless person with some bizarre scab on their leg.
If I see an overweight woman chowing down a triple cheeseburger, I would be doing her and everyone else a disservice by NOT giving her a dirty look. Posted by brad on March 13

Brad, I would rather be balding, 100 pounds overweight, with warts all over my face - than have to go through life as you. No matter how good-looking you think you may be on the outside, you are obviously extremely ugly on the inside. You are seriously mental disturbed and need the help of a professional.

It seems easy to just write off people's comments here about not wanting to sit next to obese people on public transportation as hate speech, but that's a total cop out. Sure, there are some pretty nasty comments here, and personally I disagree with those, but the complaint is totally valid. I'm thin and I ride the bus every day. At least several times a week someone large sits next to me, pours into my seat and presses up against me the whole ride. It's disgusting, and that has nothing to do with their size - I wouldn't want a skinny person smooshed up against me for an hour either. When I try to squirm out from under them they just take it as an opportunity to take more of my space. The ride costs $5 each way - should I have the right to ask them for $2 for taking 40% of my seat? Of course not, right? That would be too rude. But this is exactly why people are so angry about it. Would a fat person mind if I just took 40% of their lunch? I bet they'd say something about it.

I believe what is being left out in this story is the fact that as readers we cannot see, smell or judge her character. The fact that people chose to distance themselves could be from the fact that they are comfortable with their space. Many of us are not comfortable being touched by strangers for one reason or another. It should not be taken personal. I actually know people who do not like being hugged. I don't hug them. I know that when I see them. Same with obese bus riders. If you know you are going to be using public transportation. Have some empathy and shed a few pounds out of respect for the "Personal Space" of others. Or get a vehicle. Theya ren't saying they don't like you, rather they are making a choice not to be sitting on your lap. '-)

I believe what is being left out in this story is the fact that as readers we cannot see, smell or judge her character. The fact that people chose to distance themselves could be from the fact that they are comfortable with their space. Many of us are not comfortable being touched by strangers for one reason or another. It should not be taken personal. I actually know people who do not like being hugged. I don't hug them. I know that when I see them. Same with obese bus riders. If you know you are going to be using public transportation. Have some empathy and shed a few pounds out of respect for the "Personal Space" of others. Or get a vehicle. Theya ren't saying they don't like you, rather they are making a choice not to be sitting on your lap. '-)

I am so amazed by all of the misguided information here! First, Kim said that this person would rather be groped then to sit next to her, so how can anyone say that this woman didn't sit next to her because she didn't want to be touched?? She would rather stand next to someone's 'smelly' armpit and glare at Kim.
The concept that basically you are what you eat is wrong too. I have been overweight for a few years now after having been very underweight when I was younger. I eat healthy food cooked at home that I track each calory and I eat half of the calories that I burn each day and still either maintain weight or gain. I exercise 7 days a week 30-90 min a day....and still don't lose weight. Why? I am middle-aged and my medication is causing problems with my weight. I don't eat large portions of food, even had to be told by my nutritionist to eat more.
So saying eat less, eat healthy, watch portions, exercise...is not always the 'cure' for being fat.

Well my time to chime in. I have been on both sides of this. i was always a big girl growing. I never dated. I had a huge group of friends because I was smart. And got the friends because I would let them cheat of me. Then I decided screw this. I went from 250 down to 180. I looked really good. I had a boyfriend and a huge social calendar. I still felt fat. I was raped and quickly put on the lbs again and ballooned to 300 lbs. I'm not slowing loosing it. Fat isn't something we all want. We want to feel good. How aobut instead of insulting us because we are fat.... someone says hey have a nice day. Let's see how positive people around us can make a difference. Someone calls me fat and all I wanna do is dive right back to my bowl of ice cream.

Um, ok...I didn't see in that story where it said that her thighs--or any other part of her body for that matter-went into the other seat. HELLO!! YOU just busted yourself and made the POINT that you are biased against people of size! ALL the story said is Kim weighs 250 lbs. I'm sorry..where did it say her height? Her body type? ANYTHING to verify your jump into her oozing into the other seat?? Your comments were biased based on your assumptions and images of what fat is. At 250 lbs, I am not taking up part of another seat. I also happen to be 5'11". May want to think about that....

I saw there was a post from a internal medicine doctor saying that nurses should be banned from the profession until they are not obese anymore. GIVE ME A BREAK. Yeah, I am heavy, but I am an awesome nurse and just because I'm heavy doesn't mean I can't do a great job and be very caring and compassionate. I would take a fat good nurse over a skinny bad nurse anyday.

Wow. It's amazing how people justify their anger toward people by separating themselves from the person so they can feel "above". I am an overweight female. I certainly DO "take care of myself". My hygeine is excellent, I dress in the latest fashions, I have a Master's Degree, own my own home, have many friends and my health is good. There is no part of my life that isn't in good standing and I am a positive part of my community. Just because someone is thin doesn't mean they "take care of themselves". They just don't have a weight problem. They may have a drinking problem, a smoking problem, a gambling problem, a sexual addiction problem or any other compulsive problem that one doesn't see by looking at them. Eating disorders are clinical and psychological fact. Just because a person isn't starving themselves or shoving their fist down their throat doesn't mean they can't be someone who suffers from disordered eating. Do we tell anorexics to stop being lazy and exercise?????

I agree about the image thing! Yes I would much rather have a good nurse rather than a bad one anyday no matter what size! When I was underweight I had no ones understanding. Everyone figured I was at the weight they all wanted to be at, so why struggle with it? I was sick most of the time then. At 5'4 and 100 lbs then and 200lbs now, I have seen both ends of it. NO one cared how I ate then, now everyone assumes I over eat! Its all a social image. At 100 lbs I had to struggle to stay healthy, at 200 lbs...I am healthier than I have been in years, I am just personally not happy with it. AND at 5'4 and 200lbs I don't 'spill over' into the next seat. The whole line of blogs is so narrow minded except for a very exceptional few it proves the whole idea that its a social issue...yes everyone yet another predjudice as people here have been saying.

As a kid I remember being called Boss Hog Junior by the other kids in class. Dukes of Hazards was a popular show back then. I remember my own step father called me a pig. All my life I was rejected even into my 30's. I was made fun of because I was obese. But I actually did something about myself. Not for those morons that hated me because I was fat but because I knew being obese is not who i am. It was my lifestyle and what I was taught. I had bad habits and yes I have the so called fat gene in me I guess, but that just means I have to stay active and eat right all my life. just like some people have to work hard for their money and others don't because its a given. Unless it's because of illness, there is no reason for people to be obese. It's a choice. To work hard or to take the insults. Both cause pain but the pain from working out and eating right ends in a great life changing result. Fat is not a culture or race its a choice and lifestyle. As the saying goes "Just Do It".

Alright people lets go back to the original post and read it again. the poster stated that the women glaring at her was seated between a man trying to grope her and another that was wearing a shirt that exposed his armpits to her face in that situation I would much rather sit next to a clean fat person. if the bus had plenty of empty seats I would have sat alone because I prefer not to sit next to anybody.
genetics versus lifestyle - of course lifestyle is the number one factor in being overweight but its not the only factor in a persons size. I weigh over 250 am I fat. well lets see I am six and a half feet tall. should I have somehow stunted my groth as a kid so I could more easily fit in airplane or bus seats. I havent been able to fit in a seat on public transpertation since I was 14 years old. fat people should work on loosing wieght but I chalenge anybody to find something they shold do ie stop smoking, gambling, drinking, drugs ect. and when you have nothing left to fix then you can judge others.

Has anybody noticed that many of the most hateful comments about overweight people is written by men?

Are they pissed off that they have less eye candy available or something?

Should I refuse to sit next to a balding man because the glare off his head hits me in the eye and gives me a headache? Should I tell that man to do something about it - hair restoration, a toupee, topical shampoo??????

What if there really was a Santa Claus and he sat his amble body next to you so that he could give you a gift out of that sack he's dragging around?. Would you really be grossed out by his body overflow onto your bus/ airline seat, or would your mind be distracted by the anticipation of an unexpected present? An earlier posting mentioned the "napkins" lady. Good things come in large packages, people.

People only see/hear what they want to see/hear. I think that point has been made clearly in most of these comments. As someone mentioned before, all these impassioned comments about comfort and how much space an overweight person takes up, yet they constantly overlook or ignore the part of the article that says the woman would've rather been next to a hairy lech with BO (who was also touching her, mind you) than sit next to her. I like my personal space too but in that situation, I would've immediately found myself next to Kim. It's one thing to not want to have to touch someone else if there are other open seats but if the only other option is a significantly worse one, then... duh?

Many of the people here who are so adamant in their desire to prove themselves right by putting other people down need to take a long, hard look at themselves. Perhaps there's something you're unhappy with in your own life that makes you want to make others around you unhappy? Try fixing that before "advising" others to fix theirs.

sebastian, Proctor and all the rest of you who belittle people for their difference, no matter what the difference is... and those phobics who do not want to be touched in the subways, and buses, because you might get someone's skin or touch... I do not know how you are surviving. You must be scrubbing your skin completely off. YOU go and buy a vehicle if you do not want to sit by a person. AND those of you who do not want to be treated in the hospital by a nurse who some weight to lose, I really feel sorry for you, IF you do not want to be treated by a nurse who has weight to lose or because IF what you want to happen is have the nurse take off to lose the weight then you all are the ones who will probably die, because there will not be a nurse around to make sure you do not starve, become dehydrated, keep you from sitting or laying in your own body excrements. I really hope one day you need a nurse and she is very heavy and your life is saved, because of regardless of her weight she saved your skinny, stinky a*

P.S. The article is about discrimination, not about health or dieting tips. Please comment accordingly.

I am amazed at how outraged we all are about how much SOMEONE ELSE weighs! I have spent the last 18 yrs of my life defending my own weight because I am too skinny. I have Chron's disease and at my best I am 10lbs underweight. I hear the comments and I see the stares (not that people usually try to be coy about it). Personally, I am more concerned with the growing violence among our youth (being the mother of 2) and our nations economy. There are so many more issues out there that we should be concerned about...quit worrying about how much someone eats and worry more about what YOU are eating.

I just have one thing to say to all the people saying that the whole public transportation thing is a valid argument. It's called public transportation. It's for everyone. If u don't want to sit next to someone, buy a damn car.

It is true what another nurse said about drinking, eating and going to the bathroom. Every hospital would be without nurses if we all decided to stop working at the hospital because we could not eat or drink at the time we wanted. It is not just the administration, it is also the hospital crenditialing boards such as JACHO and OSHA who state for health reasons, we are limited to where we can have our water and food. You give up your hour lunch, cut it to 30 minutes because you are dedicated to what you do, see if you get to eat the healthy foods you like.There are not enough nurses to take care of sick people, you will be thankful that your skinny, stinky butt has a nurse who cares that you get your medications on time and be taken care of in a timely manner. When you are sick or dying do you really care if your nurse is fat, or are you more inclined to be thankful she or he has the knowledge to keep you from dying, or simply that she or he cares that you are feed and comfortable during your illness.

It is depressing to read all these hateful comments aimed at fellow humans. Esp given it is all over how someone looks, Not how they act. People who are overweight may have a "valid" reason or they may not. But in the end it is their life and their choice. I think Hollywood/Media has given us a distored view of what a women should look like. For expample if you were to compare the typical Hollywood starlet next to Marlyin who was in her day a Pin-Up sexy curvy women. You would find she was "fat" compared to today's Starlets. I also feel that these sorces of news/gossip have given us the belief that it is ok to butt into someone elses life and comment on/judge them based on outwards looks and what we think we know regardless of boundries or respect. We all have our "flaws", Some are more obvious then others. As we all know some demons are harder to tame then others, While some are never fully tamed. So before you judge someone think. How would I feel if it were me and someone said that or thought that of me...

Ok...must interject.
Some overweight people, yes, they are responsible for their size. HOWEVER...
I have a sister who is severely overweight who has done everything humanly possible to lose it and she can't. Her thyroid is slow to the point where it is not considered hypothyroidism, just really slow. It is NOT her fault she is as big as she is, she eats extremely healthy, she is very active, she just cannot lose weight and the doctors are reluctant to help her because there is nothing "medically" wrong with her. So to all you posters who say that is it their own fault that all overweight people are fat, you are wrong. I admire Kim for her courage to do what she did. She not only stood up for herself but for all the people who are in her type of situation.
BTW...if I had been on with her, I would've sat by her. Wouldn't have bothered me a bit. I sit by my sister all the time when I'm at her house on her little love seat. People seem to have forgotten 'judge not'. I feel for you narrow minded idiots.

As a short/small woman and an overweight woman I can say to everyone else: if you dont want to sit with me because Im fat- stand. I have come to a place in my life where I just dont care anymore- all they non-fat people out there just dont matter to me anymore and are not relevent to me living my life. If I offend you-tough. There are alot worse things to be in life than fat and if thats as bad as it gets for some- lucky them. Fat people are nice people- we have given up on pretending to be what we are not- like us or dont like us, speaking as a fat person I just dont worry about the opinions of the thin anymore and I think I speak for alot more fat people that you may think. Let us be- we stopped worrying about you- stop bothering us.

No one has responded to my post where I said that I exercise a lot and eat a very healthy diet, but can't get below the obese range because when I eat less, I am just too hungry and cold to bear it.

To all the people blaming fat folks for their weight, I honestly don't understand what you expect me to do. Should I be famished and freezing all the time so that I'll be thinner? Or, do you not believe that some people can't lose weight without being constantly hungry and cold? Someone please answer me! I really, really don't understand this!

As for not having enough room on the bus, that is a legitimate problem. There are already a few seats set aside for people who are elderly or in wheelchairs. How would you feel about having some wider seats set aside for fat people? The idea would be that if a thin person had a choice of a wide seat or a regular seat, they would take the regular seat and leave the wide seat in case a fat person needed it. Wouldn't that mostly solve the problem?

I feel sorry for fat people, because I know that they are not healthy. Most of the food people eat is full of things like MSG that make you want to eat more, have very little fiber which makes you stay hungry, and very little nutrition which makes them actually need to eat more to get nutrients for their body. The best thing a fat person can do to loose weight is to stop eating products containing sugar and white flour.

if u dont want people to stare at u dont be extremley huge and gross looking duh

I have been a victim of discrimination for many years. I know my lifestyle has led to me being overweight, but I also know that I wasn't taught to eat healthy as a child. We are products of our environment. I am working on losing weight now but it is a slow and painful process (if you do it correctly - it's much easier if you opt to have surgery - I refuse to put myself through surgery until I've made a serious attempt at correcting it on my own). While I'm going through the dieting phase I will still be discriminated against on a daily basis. I once had a guy ride past me on a bicycle and yell 'fat' at me. I've walked on a bus and seen the hateful looks from other passengers as I looked for a place to sit down. I finally sat down next to a lady who looked extrememly inconvenienced by my presence despite the fact that I was only sitting on half the seat and leaning into the aisle in order to avoid touching her or her bag. - continued on next post...

What thinner people need to understand is that although you're inconvienced by that big person for a short amount of time, we are inconvenience by our size 24 hrs. a day, 7 days a week. Next time you see a big person think to yourself, what if they're trying to improve their health? Any disdain you show for them could be another trigger to send them back to the cupboard for a comforting snack. On a side note, I do not gorge myself on a daily basis. Some of what I have is definitely hereditary because I don't eat more than most skinny people I know. The damage was done as I was growing up and as an adult my body plateaued. I'm also never dirty, smelly, sweaty or ugly. I think I'm a relatively pretty girl, despite my size. I'm also a very hard worker and anyone who knows me would never refer to me as lazy. You associate those words with a person based soley on their appearance. Try not to pre-judge.

This article is poorly written, it needs to be edited.

Hey, I'm overweight on purpose. My big fat body is so repulsive that men stopped looking at me. Why? Because at the age of five I was raped by a man who thought that my skinny body was perfect. Then at age 13 I was mob raped again, because some guy lusted after me and got his friends to pitch in. I never want to be thin enough for guys to look at me that way. The guys that like Fat women don't oogle or follow me, they don't whistle and scream across the street at me... And I don't have to ask them to stop pinching my butt or grabbing my breasts. I don't have to fight or run or fear for my life. I'm too big to be bothered with. Do I have health problems? Yes, and they are mild ones. Do I have problems finding comfortable clothing? Yes, and that is a pain... but I am never smelly or dirty or scabby or slothful. I run 3 miles a day, and eat less then 3000 calories a day. I am careful to eat lots of veggies and fruit. I'm not stupid. If you want to judge some one, leave fat people alone. You have no idea.

I can't believe everyone here has spent over 2 weeks flinging nasty comments and useless facts around on such a pointless argument. Live and let live. Help people when you can. You're not going to change anything by raving like lunatics on this site. Mind your own business and become a better person before you critize others, whatever the reason.

These comments are a riot!

Add me to the list of people who will shock Rich - I weigh over 400lbs (oh the horror!) and yet I eat fewer than 1200cals/day. My calories come from lean protein, complex carbs and whole grains, organic fruits and vegetables, all mainly grown or raised ourselves. I never, ever eat fast food or drink soda pop or any of that crap, it's all chemicals anyway. I have been under the care of a team of dieticians for 12 YEARS. I exercise 5 days a week; walking, swimming, weights and yoga. I drink water. I take my meds. I see my doctors. I am in excellent, fantastic health. My bp is 110/65, my HA1C hovers at 4.8, my cholesterol is 136. I am strong and enjoy walking my dogs, running around with my friends, my husband, or my two young children. I have an awesome life and I take VERY good care of myself.

Guess what? I am *still* fat. And when I fly or take the bus, I get this kind of hurtful abuse from people who assume I wallow in canned frosting for fun.

But it's for my own good, right?

i find fat people repulsive. It may be just me, but it is indicative of an attitude. they know that being fat is hazardous to their health yet they do not take the necessary steps to correct the measure. i give them no more respect than a smoker or anyone who lacks the will-power to correct the issues that demand correcting. being fat is lazy and lazy people deserve the lack of respect.

I'm saddened by the hatred in these comments and angered by the people who say that discriminating against fat people is ok or that being overweight is always a choice. Are there a lot of fat people who are fat because they eat soda and fast food all the time and don't take care of themselves? Yes. Is every fat person you run into on the street (or a subway car) a lazy glutton who doesn't care about their appearance? NO. Losing weight is as much a mental process as a physical one. Of course its easy to eat less and exercise more but those are not the only changes necessary to lose weight. Compulsive overeating & BED are EATING DISORDERS that can rival anorexia and bulimia in terms of their side effects and ability to ruin lives. Yet anorexic women inspire pity while fat women inspire disgust and even resentment! Next time you find yourself thinking about how disgusting it is to sit next to a fat person, think about how disgusting it must be to BE a fat person, and try some compassion instead of ridicule.

Look, if you're fat you know it. I know because I used to be obese. I didn't want to be obese, I was just a fat sloth and I hated myself for it. But instead of make everyone say oh you're not fat or make them make me feel better, I lost the weight instead. If you currently fat people would spend half the effort to lose weight as you do defending your right to be a strain on your own spines and the world's supply of chocolate you might not be obese anymore. And guess what- people will stop treating you so bad because you won't make them want to vomit their lunch in public. And yes I was that fat at one time!

I read with interest many of these comments. I have been thin all of my life (yes, genetics, but also lifestyle, eating and exercise choices). I can tell you any number of personal occasions where overweight people (always women, incidentally) felt the compulsion when they were together to sneer some unkind remark to me like "You look hungry!" So this prejudice goes both ways and too many overweight people wrongly assume that thin people have eating disorders. Just the glares from overweight people are unkind. Do unto others, folks!

I read most of these comments and some of them are simply ridiculous and shows that people are very ignorant. If you want to loathe something - loathe ignorance. If you must bash something, bash racism and prejudice. If you want to promote positivity, then focus on things that are actually beneficial to us all like living a life that is pleasing to our Creator. Stop focusing on the unimportant diversions of this world. Bottom line is people have a right to choose - whether it's sitting next to a person or standing; being fat or thin. What real difference does it make on YOUR life? None.

Look, we all have free will to choose and we all have to face whatever consequences from our choices ALONE. What is incredibly silly, though, is demeaning another person for their choices. I'm sure some of you have done things (and are still doing things) that would raise an eyebrow or two and would be upset if you felt judged or belittled. Same here. Free will, people, free will. Respect it and get on with your lives

thank u Rae that was beautiful. I appreciate your lovely comments.

Even though it is naturual to stare most people have mannners and will look away. Or they would look away in disgust. And I would not want to be touched by a stranger, no matter how big or small. But it is still rude to make comments, no matter what. And Kim, you should totally make the book real.

Even though it is naturual to stare most people have mannners and will look away. Or they would look away in disgust. And I would not want to be touched by a stranger, no matter how big or small. But it is still rude to make comments, no matter what. And Kim, you should totally make the book real.

To Judy: Some people find it easier to eat a few hundred calories every 3 hours or so (to not feel as hungry). But, as they say, no pain, no gain. Undoubtedly you'll feel hungry if you're eating fewer calories than you're used to. Feeling cold, you can remedy in a lot of other ways.

Sonn -- you should be proud of yourself for living a healthy lifestyle, but realize that you are an outstanding exception among the obese. Probably 95% of obese people would lose a lot of weight if they did what you do. By the way, did you ever try 1000 calories a day? At some point you will start losing weight.

To the person who said this:

"I eat half of the calories that I burn each day and still either maintain weight or gain."

The BMR formulas are just estimates. Most of the time they're pretty accurate, but if you have some other metabolic issue, then there's no way to know how many calories you're burning per day. The best way to find out is to see how few you have to eat to lose weight. . .

So much hatred. We are suppose to give comments but lots are abusing each other instead.

Rich, I have tried a wide variety of eating plans, from eating infrequently to eating small meals very frequently. Hasn't helped.

As for being hungry, I am already hungry quite a lot. The question is, how much hunger is it reasonable to expect a person to bear? You seem to think ANY amount of hunger is reasonable, no matter how intense, for the rest of one's life. Why don't you try spending a few months so hungry that it wakes you up at night before you tell other people to do it?

As for being cold, I have tried warm clothes, hot beverages, etc. I'm fat, but I'm not *stupid.* I often can't get my body temperature up to normal, even wearing a coat indoors. The time that dieting drove my body temperature got down to 94.5, it was about 70 degrees in the house. (And it was not an extreme diet -- maybe 1200 calories a day).

When I diet, I don't lose much weight. Instead, my metabolism just slows down and my body temperature drops. You don't seem to believe this, though. What would you accept as proof?

First of all the reason why you aren't losing weight is because you are always hungry. It is obvious that your body is just tired of being on a diet. You probably wont lose anything. I was on WW twice between two pregnancies and finally I could not lose weight because I had lost/gained enormous amounts of weight too close together. My body permasnently plateaued. Why don't you check out Paul McKenna's new sight. (I Can Make You Thin) He has a weight loss plan that is working really well for me and it isn't a diet. You are not changing anything you do just how you do it. He is very inspirational and there is a large support group to share experiences with.

I am struck by Judy's situation. Everyone is different, but I have found that being a vegetarian was not a good way to lose weight or keep it off. Eating lean animal protein is what seems to work. your body isn't getting what it needs. maybe it needs more chicken fish lean red meat. that stuff keeps you satiated. I am sorry that we are so prejudice regarding fat people in this society. it's very distressing to see people struggling with their sizes and to be (mostly) unhealthy. it's gotta be hard.....

I just don't understand? Why do people have to be cruel to one another? And no it isn't just the fat issue. Do you have a big nose, big ears, maybe you had acne as a kid, built oddly, fat, skinny, look like goofy, whatever. Why do people think it is their responsibility to bring it to that persons attention? Do you think they don't know? WOW! Now, who is being dumb. Better to take an inward look don't you think. Are YOU perfect? I think NOT or you wouldn't have even brought this up. How dare you.

I have battled obesity my entire life. I am an addiction specialist. Food addiction is by far the most difficult addiction. Clients who are addicted to gambling, drugs and/or alcohol are advised to avoid any environment where their "drug of choice" is available due to the huge relapse risk. Moderation management is ineffective for all other addictions but unfortunately food is the only addiction where moderation management is the only available option. If I had the opportunity to seal my mouth off and never eat a drop of food, i would elect it. I have spent thousands of hours and money on gyms, therapy and weight management programs. If people who judge fat people want us to be ashamed of ourselves and our weakness and lack of discipline than recognize that we live it everyday. I am not PROUD to be fat. I am accepting that being fat is one of many things that I am, not the ONLY aspect of who I am. I would rather spend a lifetime in this body than a week in the mind of a thin, righteous and "perfect" human being.

"...the reason why you aren't losing weight is because you are always hungry. It is obvious that your body is just tired of being on a diet."

Back in the 1980s, I also thought that this was the case. I became convinced that dieting doesn't work and is a bad idea. Instead, I ate healthy foods, stopped eating as soon as I was no longer hungry, and exercised regularly. Unfortunately, I gained over 100 pounds doing this. At that point, I decided to start dieting again.

"I am struck by Judy's situation. Everyone is different, but I have found that being a vegetarian was not a good way to lose weight or keep it off."

All the evidence is that vegetarianism helps people lose weight. I agree that some people can't handle the carbs of the typical vegetarian diet, but I limit my carbs. I was fat long before I became a vegetarian; in fact, I weighed twice what the other kids weighed. I am still fat, but I don't weight twice what other women my height & weight weigh. I don't think vegetarianism is the problem.

It seems people believe that obesity is ALWAYS the obese person's fault. Every other bodily system can have defects and work improperly, but the body's weight regulation system is ALWAYS perfect. So, since I am fat, I MUST, by definition, be doing something wrong -- or so people here (even the obese ones) seem to think. Now, no one seems to know what that something is (some say I'm eating too much, some say I'm eating too little), but everyone agrees that my obesity is my fault.

Sorry, you are wrong. Obesity is largely genetic. Try to lose weight, and your body fights back by making you hungrier and dropping your metabolic rate.

Yes, Americans are heavier now than in the past. They are taller now, too. The increase in AVERAGE weight & height is due to environment, but the differences between INDIVIDUALS is largely genetic. You can't make a short child grow to 6 feet by feeding them more, and you can't make a naturally very obese person thin by starving them, at least not without also making them sick.

A couple more points. Sure, there are fat people who pig out or eat lots of junk. There are also thin people who pig out -- loads of them. The difference between the two is genes (and age.) All you folks saying how thin you are? Bet most of you are younger than 30. Let's see how thin you are in 15 years.

As for Europeans being thinner than Americans, guess what? Even Americans who think of themselves as White are usually a mixture of racial groups. So, no, Eurpeans aren't the same genetically as Americans.

As for the claim that losing weight is just a matter of "calories in minus calories expended", one could also say that ascites/edema (water build-up) is just a matter of "water in minus water out." Yet, no one claims that all ascites and edema could be cured simply by drinking less water, and people with it don't get blamed and called disgusting pigs if it can't be cured.

Someday soon, there will be effective drugs to treat obesity. That is when people will no longer be blamed for their weight.

Many of these remarks would be appalling, if they didn't spotlight the ignorance of the person making the comment. For example, Rich has the arrogance to tell Sonn, who remarks that she is under the care of *dieticians*, and eating a low-calorie diet, that she should just drop her calorie intake to 1000 calories! Of course, random people on the internet know better than her own personal physicians! I challenge Rich to provide documented proof, from medical journals, of his claims.

Obesity is a complex issue, not simply a matter of a person just being lazy or eating crap all the time. If you truly believe that all fat people should just limit calories and work out more, and keep limiting calories and working out more to lose excess weight, you are not referring to actual medical studies, just what passes for common wisdom. People want to believe that if they do everything right, they will be rewarded, and therefore assume that the same is true for everyone else.

For God's sake, crack open a book or medical journal, and educate yourself.

Obesity can be caused by eating too much junk and not exercising, but it can also be a symptom of hypothyroidism, and polycystic ovarian syndrome. It can be the end result of yo-yo dieting and eating disorders like bulimia, leaving a person who should be leaner to be chronically overweight, resetting their "base weight". It appears to be a symptom, not a cause, of metabolic syndrome - the trifecta of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes. It may be, for instance, that some people are sensitive to Western diets -- just as lactose intolerance is less prevalent among ethnic groups with a historic "dairy" culture.
For instance, this epidemiological study in the Hong Kong Medical Journal (http://www.hkmj.org/article_pdfs/hkm0003p43.pdf) shows that Asia-Pacifica is experiencing unprecedented rates of type II diabetes. It is believed it has to do with introduction of a Western diet unsuited genetically for Asians, Polynesians.

Industrialization (meaning, less exercise, more time spent in cars and in sedentary living)is also suspected as a factor. Fat is not the same for every person. The trick is, whether you're overweight or not, not to diet -- a temporary distortion of your nutritional needs. Regardless of what the scale shows, you must focus on eating better long term, not for a week or a month. Then you get exercise every day, or more days (4) than not (3). The National Weight Control Registry shows that this is the method used by those who have lost more than 30 pounds and kept it off for at least a year. So it will work for some people to help them lose weight. With those who are not helped aesthetically, it will give them lifetime benefits of lower blood pressure, lower cholesterol and increased health.
This is a great article - http://www.ars.usda.gov/is/AR/archive/mar06/health0306.htm - published by the journal Agricultural Research, so you know it's not some person on the Internet just making specious claims.

That study found that chronic dieters, given instruction on eating healthfully and exercising, regardless of their weight, saw long term health benefits lasting over two years. Those in a control group, dieting, lost weight temporarily, but then gained it back, and had none of the long term health benefits.
Meanwhile, this is also advice that the skinny and "normal-sized" person should also take. We know now from research by Dr. Jimmy Bell at the Imperial College in London that many seemingly skinny people have internal fat that can only be seen under MRI imaging, and are at risk for metabolic syndrome, specifically type II diabetes. Bell found by contrast that even sumo wrestlers, who are by all accounts extremely obese, do not have fat around their organs, but subcutaneous fat under their skin. That's why these same morbidly obese athletes have low cholesterol, low insulin resistance, and low triglycerides. They embody the obesity paradox - that fat can mean fit, rather than increased cardiac risk!

People here need to stop judging and worrying about what some stranger is eating and start thinking about their own numbers, not simply pounds, but their blood pressure, resting heart rate, cholesterol and triglycerides. That's the true test of health, not someone's BMI or whether they can fit in a bus seat. If you're unhappy about the health of the nation ... Go to your neighborhood or city town meetings, or council, and encourage neighborhoods to create more sidewalks, public transportation, and centralized business districts, which get people out of their cars and on their feet walking everywhere.

Hmmm. Cut my calories down from 1200 to 1000, when I am already healthy active and happy, AGAINST medical advice. Let me think.... NO, thank you. Why on earth would I? Just to change the way I look? Just to avoid comments from people who are both ignorant and ill-mannered? Thanks but no thanks - I will never risk my HEALTH just for my looks.

As far as being an 'outstanding exception,' I wouldn't know. I don't make a practice of asking perfect strangers about their diet and exercise habits, because it's frankly none of my business. I'm sure some obese people overeat and lead sedentary lives. And I'm sure some eat right and are active just like me. Regardless it certainly isn't my job to police it nor is it even of any interest to me. I have better things to do in my life than obsess over the food and activity choices of every other human being I meet.

Thankfully we're all different. I for one enjoy celebrating that fact.

The comments (way) above about job discrimination against obese people being OK, because they 'don't take care of themselves,' have really bothered me. I feel they need to be addressed.

That is a prejudice - and how is that kind of discrimination any different than other kinds of prejudice based on ASSumptions? That's no different than saying you wn't hire black people because they are theives, or a person with a hispanic last name because they are illegal immigrants, or a gay man because he will molest your kids. It's ALL wrong, it's all offensive, and it's all equally ridiculous. It's all making a judgement based on someone's appearance and a stereotype, instead of any factual information.

If you have REAL evidence that someone doesn't care for their body - say improper hygeine issues or a history of drug abuse - that's one thing. But to just assume so when you have no evidence is prejudiced, stereotyping, and is WRONG. Period.

One other quesion for those who seem so concerned with the food choices that obese people make: Are you equally as concerned about the food choices that non-obese people make? Because I know some very average weight people who eat like crap. Fast food, ice cream every night, a gallon of Starbucks calorie/fat/sugar/caffeine soup for breakfast. So honestly - are those average people also considered repulsive? Do they get glared at and avoided in public places for their poor health choices? Are they considered to be disgusting subhumans that no one would want to touch or be near because of the way they mistreat their bodies and lack the willpower to change?

You don't have to answer. I know the truth already. It's not about health and it's not about food choices. It's about appearances and it's about being afraid of someone who looks different than you do. Let's at least be honest with ourselves about what we're spouting here instead of trying to cloak it in self righteousness. It's still just prejudice.

"Are you equally as concerned about the food choices that non-obese people make?"

Of course not. Most of the health risks associated with obesity have nothing to do with eating poorly per se. Meaning that if you have a fast metabolism and eat an unhealthful diet, you still probably won't have to deal with the same risk of hypertension, osteoarthritis, or heart disease as an obese person. The whole point is that it's an unfair situation. Obese people who eat healthful diets are still at much higher risk for these maladies than thin people who eat mostly garbage. If you have a slow metabolism, you need to take extra precautions. It's almost like a diabetic complaining that it's not fair that he/she has to take insulin shots, because normal people don't . . . instead, realize that you've been dealt a certain condition and that you need to take your insulin (or in this case, be extra careful about your diet).

"If you have REAL evidence that someone doesn't care for their body - say improper hygeine issues or a history of drug abuse - that's one thing."

Obesity is real evidence that you're not taking care of your body. It's dishonest to compare racial discrimination to size discrimination when race has nothing to do with lifestyle and obesity has everything to do with it. Don't whine about the 1% of the obese with hypothyroidism or other such disorders. That's hardly relevant when talking about an epidemic caused by food addiction and inactivity.

"Don't whine about the 1% of the obese with hypothyroidism or other such disorders."

Dan, I'm afraid that you're just bigoted and ignorant. By some estimates, 80% of obesity is caused by metabolic abnormalities, not 1%.

"Obese people who eat healthful diets are still at much higher risk for these maladies than thin people who eat mostly garbage."

Actually, the evidence is exactly the opposite -- fat people who exercise are healthier than thin people who don't exercise, for example. Rich, you seem to think you're some sort of expert. But you really know very little.

I have a PhD and have been published in the New England Journal of Medicine on the topic of obesity. But since you're such an expert, please, feel free to list your publications here. I'll be happy to read them.

Judy -- if having a low BMR is a disorder, then you're right -- probably 99% of obese people have a metabolic disorder. This certainly doesn't explain the obesity epidemic, unless you believe that the average BMR has gone down in recent years (or that the number of metabolic disorders has gone up). I don't believe it has . . . people with the same potential to become obese have just done a better job becoming such. Does your PhD have anything to do with helping curb the epidemic? Because the first step is to stop giving people an excuse by telling them they have a disorder that inevitably makes them fat. Yes, they may have a disorder . . . but it's certainly not inevitable.

Also, maybe you'd like to cite some studies showing that skinny people who don't exercise have worse osteoarthritis than obese people who do. It's ridiculous to even suggest that. I'm not interested in credential-dropping -- much more interested in evidence. Do skinny non-exercisers also suffer from more sleep apnea than obese exercisers? You should already know the answers to these questions.

The point is that being obese CAUSES maladies (they aren't just caused by the bad habits that generally go along with obesity). One of the causes of hypertension is a factor that come from the adipose tissue itself. Read for yourself:

http://ndt.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/full/17/2/191?ijkey=878352d470ebe92d7b10e001af1bd0eead9ea82b&keytype2=tf_ipsecsha

Your statement that "fat people who exercise are healthier than thin people who don't exercise" may be true about certain health problems -- but it's certainly false about many others.

Apparently, in this discussion thread, it's impossible to even raise the possibility that obesity is a problem without people branding you as some sort of bigot who hates fat people. Maybe we won't ever fix the problem until people can have an honest, non-emotional, rational conversation about it.

Dan, yes, there are more obese people now that there were decades ago. However, it's pure speculation that this is due to lifestyle factors. For example, it's known that a virus (Adenovirus 36) can cause people to gain weight, as I said earlier on this thread.) It may be that the increasing number of very obese people is in fact due to an infection.

Virtually no obese people ever get down to a "normal" weight and stay there, no matter how motivated they are. Generally, going from a typical modern American lifestyle to a very healthy lifestyle causes people to lose about 10% of their starting weight. If it's being a "lazy pig" that makes a person weigh 300 pounds, then why does adopting a lifestyle healthier than 90% of Americans generally only take that same person down to 270 pounds?

You blame me for my obesity, and that makes me very angry. I spend an hour a day exercising and another 30 minutes weighing and recording my food. I am so cold and hungry that it hurts. Just what more do you want me to do?????

As for what I'm doing about the "obesity epidemic," I'm not convinced that obesity itself is that big a problem. (If the adipose tissue itself is the problem, and not lifestyle factors, then why not remove the adipose tissue surgically?)

I do believe that healthy lifestyles are very important (as you maybe can tell from my own lifestyle.) Currently, I'm working as a volunteer on a Cochrane Collaboration project to assess the effectiveness of lifestyle education programs.

Since you are so convinced that obesity is a "huge" (ha, ha) problem, what exactly are YOU doing about it, other than self-righteously telling fat people that they MUST be too blame for their weight? Frankly, nothing has ever come as close to making me give up on my exercise and eating regimen as YOU. What's the point of my feeling famished all the time if people like you are still going to assume that I'm a pig?

But, I remind myself that I'm doing this for me, and that what ignorant people like you think really doesn't matter.

As for whether fat people who exercise are healthier than thin people who don't, I'm talking about OVERALL health. Sure, there are some disorders such as osteoarthritis that are more common among fat people. But, you know what? Osteoarthritis is a much less dangerous disease than osteoPOROSIS, and extra weight is very protective against osteoporosis.

Dan, I asked before what you would accept as proof that my obesity is not my fault, and your lack of response gives me my answer: It seems that NOTHING will convince you that some fat people are not to blame for their weight.

I guess I'm wasting my time here; your mind is made up and you don't want to be confused with the facts. You seem to enjoy blaming fat people for their weight, and why should I deprive you of that? Perhaps it's your only pleasure.

"It may be that the increasing number of very obese people is in fact due to an infection."

Are you really that desperate for another explanation that you ignore the blatantly obvious? Children from other countries come to the US and immediately become obese. Their cousins back home remain at their normal, healthy weight. Are you saying the immigrant children all magically caught a fat virus, that somehow can only survive within the confines of the USA, despite constant influx/efflux of people?

Once again, Dan, would you like to provide some facts to back up your claims? Where are you getting this information? Or is this just your concept of how things happen? Immigrants = fat?

FTR my husband, my sister, and my brother's wife are all immigrants to the US. Not one is overweight or obese. In fact my sister-in-law as well as her entire family are underweight. And in my husband's home country - Not the USA - obesity rates are roughly equivalent to the US.

So let's see some data, please. I tend to take people spouting their mouths off MUCH more seriously if they can back their offensive comments up with facts.

Of course I wasn't implying that every immigrant child coming to the US immediately becomes obese. I was saying it's a trend. Whether or not your sister-in-law or other random people you know conform to the trend isn't that relevant.

As one who has struggled with my body and my weight I feel for everyone here who is in pain, but I think and I could be wrong, what Dan is trying to say in a misguided way, is that our society promotes obesity whether it is as simple as overeating or contributing to a sadness that can't be filled i.e. body image etc.

It really doesn't matter if you feel fat at 310 or 110 if that's how you feel that's how you feel, despite what others say or think.

I am shocked at the number of uninformed / ignorant comments in this post regarding obesity which is a disease (DISEASE) not a condition of the lazy and the unclean. I was particularly shocked at the comment by a researcher who suggests overweight professionals should be dismissed! Should we do the same about people with short legs? Or maybe fire all bold men? Should we be disgusted and feel the right to express it when we see people with acne? If they have pimples they certainly are unclean and eating the wrong food! Should we ban anyone with below average BMI from the medical profession or only those above average? Being anorexic and bulimic is also unhealthy, and can certainly kill you faster, but I don't see anyone trying to give them the sack! This leads to stone age prejudices: Are homosexuals born or made? Are fat people born or made? Are homosexuals just heterosexual degenerates? Are fat people just lazy and disgusting? The researcher should be doing some serious research on this matter!!!

The researcher who posted a comment above is completely ignorant and has some serious bigotry issues: We should fire all medical professionals with bad nails, skin or hair, it means they are not eating right! We should fire all anemic nurse aids because they are not eating enough iron! We should kill all social workers who are HIV positive because they certainly didn't take good care of themselves! We should not allow people with hipertension in the medical field until they stop eating salt! We should take away the license of psychologists who get the blues! We should fire nurses who have varicose veins since that could've been avoided by working out regularly and putting their feet up once in a while! We should not allow anyone with a big nose to perform cosmetic surgery until they get a nose job! We should ban surgeons who suffer from hemorroids because they should've known better than to sit on their asses for 8 years while they study! Let's kill all dermatologists with expression lines!

Should internal medicine researchers be barred from the profession for being uninformed? Of course!!! He shoul've done some research and avoided making such a stupid comment.

I know that this comment is probably a case of too little too late, but after reading all of this I felt I needed to say something.

In my opinion the commenters lost the thread of what this post was about and got themselves into an unnecessary argument about whether or not it should be acceptable to be overweight or obese in this country. I have my own opinions about that subject but I will not be posting them here. Why? Because this post was about kindness and biosed reactions.

I read an article once that dealt with this subject and was trying to help people to be more compassionate towards each other. They illustrated several ideas that you could practice in order to be a more productive member of society. I really wish I could find this article again but unfortunately it has been years since I read it.

Having said that, there is one practice they detailed that really stuck with me and has changed the way I treat others. (continued on the next post.)

Post two.

How you react to someone is within your control. When you find that you are about to have a reaction to anything, either physical or verbal, you should immediately stop. What ever you do, do not react. Take 5 seconds to think about what you where going to say or do. Is it appropriate, will it benefit the conversation to say it, if the situation where reversed would you want someone else to say or do this to you? If the answer to any of these questions is no then drop it. Move on and don't think about it further.

I am deeply saddened by the way that people treat each other in this society and believe that to be a far worse threat to us than whether or not the person we are speaking with is fat. I have noticed that this has been expressed in previous posts and been ignored and I don't expect much of a response either, but I felt the need to say it and do believe that it is beneficial to the conversation. I also hope that where I being rude and judgemental that someone would point it our to me.

Personal to Leslie,
I have been reading some of your posts and think you are a great writer. Sorry to go all teacher on your blog.
Take care,
Jenn

well a big lady sat next to me and half of her thigh was on top of my thigh so of course I will be sore for a week or my hips are probably dislocated. Why did I not move. Because to squeeze out from under her would be embarasing to us both.