"How Sitting Next To A Fat Person Can Make You Fat"

A NYC writer by the name of Kim Brittingham found herself fed up with the stares and glares and outright rude comments she often receives while riding the bus. (Kim weighs around 250 pounds and is accepting of her size, as well as the word "fat." ) However, there's only so much a person can take and she soon grew tired of experiences like this:

"I've been on buses that filled to an inhumane capacity, with commuters packed in like desperate refugees or sows to the slaughter. Still, the seat beside me remained empty. I once watched a woman tolerate being wedged between a foul-smelling man with roaming hands and a perspiring giant with a hairy armpit an inch from her face, yet she staunchly refused to collapse comfortably into the seat available at my side. To be fair, she might've been enjoying the feel-up, but judging by her expression of disgust and the dirty looks she kept shooting at me, I think not. Why wouldn't she just sit? And what had I done to deserve the evil eye? Had I contaminated an otherwise perfectly good seat by situating my deadly girth beside it?" (Posted on freshyarn.com)

Kim did not sit idly by. She got creative. She designed a fake book cover on her home computer, complete with bar code, a picture of a large cartoon woman on a scale, a faux author (Kimberly Cox, PhD, the name of one of her childhood tormentors). The jacket got wrapped around a biography and Kim proceeded to "read" from it every day in public for the next four months.

Reactions ranged from double-takes to whispers to drop-jawed confusion and fear. One young woman actually called her friend on her cell and said, in a not-so-quiet voice, "Cheryl, it's me. Listen. I'm on the 79 bus and I'm sitting across from this woman who's reading a book called, Fat is Contagious: How Sitting Next to a Fat Person Can Make You Fat. No, I'm serious. Yes. I know it's mind-boggling. Should I ask? O.K., well, can you check Amazon for me?"

Many of you may recall a recent study out of the New England Journal of Medicine which showed that obesity is, in fact, "contagious," in that it is spread socially - not by coughing or kissing. Harvard researchers found that a person's chances of becoming obese increase by 57% if they have a friend who becomes obese; 40% if they have a sibling who becomes obese; and 37% if a spouse becomes obese. These numbers no doubt reflect shared interests and attitudes, dining and relaxation time spent together, and more.

But the situation facing Kim - and millions of other men and women out there - is blatant discrimination. Attacking people for being heavy is one of the last remaining socially acceptable prejudices. On Fox’s lie detector show “The Moment of Truth,” one question posed was: "Do fat people repulse you?" As I mentioned two posts ago, people often feel like they can anything they want in reference to a stranger's weight, no matter what their size.

If you were on the bus and you saw an overweight woman reading a book titled Fat is Contagious: How Sitting Next to a Fat Person Can Make You Fat, how do you think you would react? Would your get the joke? Be horrified? Embarrassed? And how does that answer differ from how you might react if you saw an overweight woman reading a book called, oh, I don't know, Skinny Bitch?

Comments

Leslie, thanks for sharing that story. I admire Kim's attitude!

You're so right about people feeling like they can say anything they want about a stranger's weight. Why is that? I suspect it's because deep down, many people feel that a person's weight is something that's well within their control -- even though that may not be the case at all -- and make judgments about that person based on their assumptions.

Good for Kim for sticking up for herself!

First, Kim is a riot! In another universe we would be best friends (and then I could invite her over for tea & biscuits just because I like the idea of faking a british accent AND eating cookies - hey, I'll invite Britney along too!)

Second, I think a lot of people misinterpret this study. The researchers weren't saying that "fat is contagious" (although the AP said it aplenty). They said that there is a correlation between being overweight and having a overweight friends. Correlation is not causation. I think this study makes some important points about societal norms & the microcosm of a good friendship (it's even more influential than family!). IMO, this is a case of Don't Shoot the Messenger (but then you know how I loves me my research!)

I see the corralation. I am trying to lead a healthy lifestyle, including watching what I eat and losing a few pounds. My boyfriend is a big guy who eats a standard diet of pizza and burgers. I can be good all day, but when he orders pizza and eats it in front of me, I don't have the willpower to say no. When he's not around or when he's on a diet, its easy (well, easier) for me to stay on track.

Now who do I blame for my chocolate intake...

I appreciate Kim's attitude, but as a little person who takes public transportation, I have to speak up. I don't care if you are fat or muscular or just a large person: if you take up some of my seat I'd rather just stand. One of the few advantages of being short/little is that you (theorectically) have more personal space, but it usually gets eaten up (no pun intended) by bigger people. Also if I stand up I have a smaller chance of getting elbowed in the face than if I were sitting next to a larger person (this happens more often than you normal-to-big size people think it does). Tall/large people often trample us little people in some way without even realizing it.

I'm guessing the girl who was glaring (which is undoubtedly very rude) has probably just had too many run-ins with larger people in cramped public modes of transportation.

It's certainly understandable that people who are shorter/smaller will get frustrated at being trampled and elbowed, but to glare at someone just because of their size (or lack thereof) is just rude. (And there are some of us who try to be extra careful.)
There was a letter in an advice column recently, in which a man wrote a letter complaining about fat people on public transportation, and how they take up too much room, etc. There is a lot of bias against fat people. As a society we tend to see fat people as lazy, slothful, and less intelligent, whereas thinner people tend to get more of a pass on bad behavior. (It's OK to be a bitch if you're skinny and "hot," but not so much if you're fat, for example. Or look at the website that shows "hot young drunk girls" throwing up on the sidewalk. Lovely.)
If I were on that bus with Kim, I'd not only sit next to her, I'd try to "catch" come of her humor and intelligence,lol!

I'm sure the woman didn't have anything personal against the fat woman. She just probably didn't want to be touched by her thighs. Plain and simple, sitting next to the fat woman would have meant touching the woman (because her body goes over into the next seat). And strangers don't like to touch each other on public transportation. This isn't rocket science.

Being Fat is not one of the only socially acceptable biases left. What about gay people who still do not have equal rights as citizens of the United States.

Way more annoying are the average-sized men who sit with their legs spread so wide on the bus or train that no one can sit in the seat next to them. Or the people who pile their stuff on the seat next to them even when tons of people are standing. Save your glares for them, not for overweight people who are just going about their own business!

People don't sit next to fat people on the bus because the fat person usually takes up half of the empty seat. There is no room and if you sit there then you are uncomfortable because the big person is pressing on you and you're sitting on half of a seat.

That is why most people will just stand and not sit there.

It's not discrimination - its about space and comfort.

Why is it that most larger people always complain about things? They say well gee its not out fault, its the food or its genetics. And they complain about how clothes and models aren't sized for "normal" people. The country keeps getting fatter and fatter and nobody seems to be doing anything about it. If you dont want people to stare at you on the bus and if you really want someone to sit next to you (not sure why, id rather not have anyone next to me) then lose some weight and stop disgusting everyone else.

I thought I would share a recent experience, to see what comments it draws. I was on the subway the other day, sitting with an epty seat between me and the next person over. A very, very large woman got on the train and just squeezed herself between us. We both shot up out of our seats at the same time, leaving her with all three seats. I would say she needed them. I was (and am) a bit conflicted about this. First, I felt bad for jumping up from my seat, basically repulsed. However, there is no doubt she knew exectly the impact she would have when she sat down - the physics were very clear. I suspect she just made her peace with this and decided a seat was her right, other people be damned. And I cannot say I blame her for that decision. However, if this is the case, then I dont think I should feel bad for getting up. basically, she made a decision to do something that she had to know would make other people uncomfortable, and we made a decision to not put up with it. Seems fair.

Huffpost is not innocent on this. Demeaning, mocking, objectifying images of fat persons are typical as illustrations for articles - for the delectation of the spiteful thin - explaining how their horror of fat persons is ever so right.
As for complaints: do you think fat people are honest about themselves, or less honest than thins? Reliable witnesses to their own stories, or probable liars, self-deceivers? If the latter, a position quite without evidential support, you are participating in an ugly form of prejudice

I agree with Eric8869 and others about the matter of comfort (physical & social). I'm OK with sitting closely next to my overweight friends, but being pressed so close to a stranger makes me uneasy, whatever their size.

Also, if we're asking questions about acceptable behavior regarding weight...why is it OK to characterize skinny people as "bitches"? Just because they're thin doesn't make them bitches and discussion about weight that includes this characterization tells me that we're hardly starting from a rational basis...

CC, "Skinny Bitch" is a book... look it up. The author was not casting aspersions.

I've never had anything like this happen to me. Then again, I don't ride the bus. I ride my bike for 10-15 miles every day in city traffic, even in the winter. Not only did I lose weight, but I gained muscle too. Now I don't have to worry what people think about my weight, and I can literally eat anything I want. Highly recommended way to lose weight--low impact, easy on your knees and back, gets the heart beating, and you learn to relish the evil stares you get from drivers. Love yourself! Buy a bike.

To "Fat Bitch,"

I know it's a book, but the phrase has been in use well before the book came out (and lent the book its title). My question is concerning the usage, not the book; and it wasn't directed at the author (who didn't use the phrase that way), but at the popular usage. (Please re-read my first post.) While we're talking (I hope constructively) about weight and how people are treated, we can make better progress when we do it in reasonable and civil ways (and, as the author shows, some healthy humor).

I personally do not know anyone who thinks it's okay to comment on another's weight. Some people actually do have manners. Frankly, my best friend could lose a few pounds (as could I), but when she asked me if I thought she was fat, I told her she wasn't fat, just fluffy. May not elicit a big grin from everyone, but it did from her and that is good enough for me.

Sympathy for overweight people is ridiculous. First of all, the myth that it is genetic is just that, a myth (in at least 99% of cases). Fat is a product of lifestyle choices.

Being overweight means you are an unhealthy person, by choice.

So stop looking for sympathy.

The same way people give dirty looks at smokers, they will give them to you.

Its amazing that people complain about smokers so much, with factually incorrect arguments about them raising health insurance (taxes more than cover any such raise), but no one says a word about fat asses to choose to clog their arteries. Lets start taxing saturaated fat then!

Its only natural to be repulsed by that which is unhealthy, the same way you fatties probably are repulsed when you see a homeless person with some bizarre scab on their leg.

If I see an overweight woman chowing down a triple cheeseburger, I would be doing her and everyone else a disservice by NOT giving her a dirty look.

Does the author not realize the obvious? People aren't sitting next to her because she's probably taking up half the seat next to her. Sitting next to an obese person on a bus or plane is extremely uncomfortable and annoying. Is not wanting to subject yourself to that discriminatory (in the bad sense of the word)? You might argue that there should be larger seats for larger people, but that's a different story. Who wants to be squished to one side of their seat the whole ride? Not me.

Surprised no one has yet mentioned the horror of solo air travel - and arriving at your seat to find half of your space impinged upon by the 250 lb., wheezing behemoth in the next seat. You know, the one whose arms can't be bought in close enough to stay off the armrest. A four hour cuddle with a fat stranger.

This is why I always bring Xanax on airplanes. And I snore loudly the entire trip.

Being repulsed by obesity is exactly the same as being repulsed by poor hygiene. Both are outward signs that people aren't taking care of themselves. Many of life's other problems can be easily hidden (addiction to gambling, for instance), so maybe it's unfair that obesity is so visually apparent . . . but that's all the more reason to start eating less. People who have "come to terms" with their obesity, or are "happy being big" have really just resigned themselves to an extremely unhealthy lifestyle. I guarantee that if they could magically shed the pounds, they all would. Unfortunately, it's a difficult process that can take a few years of tenacious calorie-counting. It's certainly worth it though.

Why are fat people discriminated against on job interviews? Probably for the same reason people who don't comb their hair or iron their shirt are -- those are all visible signs that the person doesn't care about his appearance. Is this discriminatory? Of course. The smelly person with long, dirty, unkempt hair might be the most qualified for the job, but he won't get it. Neither will the fat person. It's the same thing. Instead of complaining about the discrimination, get a haircut, wear a suit, and loose weight! It's not the same as racial or sexual discrimination.

As an internal medicine researcher in a large metropolitan hospital, I can attest to the epidemic of obesity in this country. The medical community is not immune to this phenomenon, as many of our hospital nurses suffer from varying degrees of morbid obesity, and, in my opinion, should be barred from the profession until significant weight loss is achieved. Economics and manpower demands will not allow hospitals to dismiss the obese medical professionals, setting a terrible example for us all, and the mainstream media has been of little assistance in getting the word out of the obesity epidemic in our own medical centers.

She needs to publish that book. She needs to write it and make it funny and publish it. It should include all sorts of made up and useless charts. Heck, I would buy it just to put on my shelf at work.

I see movie deal in the works.

By the way, Brad is incorrect about many things.

1. I don't hang out with smokers because cigarette smoke makes it harder to breath.

2. Fat is, to a large extent, genetic. This is shown by studies that looked at adopted twins with different parental lifestypes and yet the twins both end up being obese.

3. Being fat does not, by definition, make you an unhealthy person. It can facilitate conditions that are, but then again, so can driving a car.

I am fat. Come climb a mountain in Colorado with me. If it doesn't kill you, then you may have something to be cocky about. But it won't be because you beat the fat guy. This is what I do for fun.

"Fat is, to a large extent, genetic. This is shown by studies that looked at adopted twins with different parental lifestypes and yet the twins both end up being obese."

No. Having a slow metabolism is genetic. Letting yourself become obese certainly isn't. If you were born with a slower metabolism and notice that you're gaining weight, you eat less. That's like saying dying of diabetes is genetic . . . no, if you take your insulin then you don't die. Diabetes is genetic, but not allowing it to affect you. Bad argument, and bad excuse.

"Being fat does not, by definition, make you an unhealthy person. It can facilitate conditions that are, but then again, so can driving a car."

That's a silly argument. Smoking doesn't by definition make you unhealthy either -- lots of people smoke their whole lives without getting lung cancer. The point is that it's a huge risk factor to smoke, and obesity is an even larger one.

Erica is right. I live in NYC, and when a fat person takes up more than one seat, I would rather stand. Otherwise, I would be pressed against Kim's expansive bosom and hips. Who knows what she'd say then?

Ha ha. Fat people are funny...

If you were looking for proof that America believes it's OK to discriminate against the overweight, your evidence is in these comments. Just replace "obese" or "fatty" with the race/color/nation al origin/sexual orientation of your choice and you have hate speech.

Just so you intolerant commentors know, we are well aware we are fat. There is no need to point it out to us or to others. It does not make us stupid, unclean or lazy. We are simply heavy. Trust us, it's not a conspiracy to ruin your day. Learn to live and let live.

I am shocked and saddened to see how much hate there is here.

Recently I took a puddle-jumper flight from Washington DC (National Airport) to Salisbury, MD.

The small plane was full and I had an aisle seat next to a woman so fat that even the seatbelt extensions didnt work
for her.

Finally they rigged up something that fastened her into not only her seat, but 3/4 of mine.

At 125, I'm not fat but I don't fit into 1/4 of a small propellor plane seat.

I demonstrated this to the flight attendant and she agreed. Sadly, there were no other empty seats on the plane so one of us had to go.

Guess who waited for the next flight? Not the 600 pound lady, you don't mess with someone that large who won't budge.

I am against all kinds of prejudice except when a person's characteristics seriously make my life uncomfortable.

A black or white man or woman, muslim, jew or christian, would have been fine.
But I do there should be some rule that no one should be allowed to "fill" more than one seat on public transportation, expecially high-priced air travel

Recently I took a puddle-jumper flight from Washington DC (National Airport) to Salisbury, MD.

The small plane was full and I had an aisle seat next to a woman so fat that even the seatbelt extensions didnt work
for her.

Finally they rigged up something that fastened her into not only her seat, but 3/4 of mine.

At 125, I'm not fat but I don't fit into 1/4 of a small propellor plane seat.

I demonstrated this to the flight attendant and she agreed. Sadly, there were no other empty seats on the plane so one of us had to go.

Guess who waited for the next flight? Not the 600 pound lady, you don't mess with someone that large who won't budge.

I am against all kinds of prejudice except when a person's characteristics seriously make my life uncomfortable.

A black or white man or woman, muslim, jew or christian, would have been fine.
But I do there should be some rule that no one should be allowed to "fill" more than one seat on public transportation, expecially high-priced air travel

"Just replace "obese" or "fatty" with the race/color/nation al origin/sexual orientation of your choice and you have hate speech."

Of course we believe it's OK to discriminate against the obese! Race/color/nationality are not things that can be changed, and not inherently bad. Obesity, I would argue, is both of those things. That's like getting all defensive that people discriminate against high school dropouts. Of course they do! Because they dropped out of high school! That's a bad thing. So is being obese. It has nothing to do with hatred. I wish everyone could finish high school, and I wish everyone could attain a healthy weight. I certainly don't wish everyone could be "white" or "black" -- those things are uncontrollable.

And to continue the analogy, some people are born with a lower IQ than others (like having a low metabolism), but that doesn't mean they can't, through hard work and dedication, graduate from high school (lose weight/stay thin).

Most of us that struggle with our weight aren't looking for your pity...we aren't looking for special privileges because of our size...we aren't looking for excuses to justify our inability to loose weight. We are looking for basic human respect. I, too, am shocked at the hateful and judgmental posts on this topic but I believe in free speech so for those of you that thrive on putting others down, bring it on. While your spiteful language and repulsed looks may hurt, YOU are the ones being harmed by the negativity you spread, not I. I know that regardless of my size, I work hard every day to be kind to those around me and make a positive impact in this world, which is much much more important than what you think of me or other people that you deem "repulsive", "unhealthy", "disgusting", "bad" or any of the other descriptives used in these comments.

Quit eating so much, and exercise. Either that, or quit complaining that someone doesn't want to sit next to your sweaty, heavy breathing, space absorbing butt.

I'm an American teaching at a public middle school in South Korea. And, I've noticed that it's very difficult to find an overweight Korean adult. But, it's not so difficult to find an overweight child. The adults usually eat traditional Korean food such as rice, vegetables, and fish. While many of the kids like to eat McDonalds, Pizza Hut, and Burger King. The adults tend to snack on fruit, vegetables, and rice cakes. While many of the kids snack on chips.

If weight was based primarily on genetics, I doubt I would notice a difference between the children and adults. But, I do. The evidence here points directly to diet and lifestyle as the primary cause. I'm not saying that genetics doesn't play any role. But, I seriously doubt that it's the primary role in most cases.

By the way, I love McDonalds, Pizza Hut, and Burger King. I wish they weren't so fattening. But they are.

My heart aches and rejoices with you, my fat brothers and sisters. To compare my fat, beautiful, and healthy body to a rarely bathed and/or scabbed one is ridiculous. I wonder how many of the hateful commentators among us here have ever really struggled with weight? My husband has never counted a calorie in his 39 years of life and never exercises. Yet, like his mother, brother, and sister, his weight never fluctuates and his body fat is ridiculously low. His brother often reeks of cigarettes, infrequent bathing, and poor dental hygiene. But, by damn, he's thin! I would like to remind the body fascists among us that Hitler, too, voraciously despised the "unhealthy," and I would further challenge them to question their true motives and authority of their beliefs. Oh, wait. That might take some real work, education, and self-examination. I'll make you a deal. You read "Rethinking Thin" and a couple of Kim Chernin books, and I'll add a couple more laps around the track.

About 14 months ago I weighed 230 lbs. Today I weigh exactly 160lbs. I did that in one year by changing my lifestyle.

1) I started exercising specifically to meet my goals. Hire a trainer if necessary; you can pay for it with your savings in food and eating out.

2) Quit drinking. Notice how there's no nutrition labels on alcohol? Shady. A 4-oz gin martini has over 400 calories. 8-oz margarita? Over 700 calories. DRINKING MAKES YOU FAT! STOP IT!

3) Restrict your portions, don't eat out, and don't eat processed foods. If you can't pronounce an ingredient on a label and understand where it comes from, then don't eat it!!

4) Talk to a psychologist and understand why you keep yourself fat and how changing your thinking can change your health and your body.

Generally I'm not disgusted by fat people. I'm disgusted by most of what they eat and the quantity, but usually I just feel bad for them that they have been so lied to and confused by the American food culture.

I have to agree with the comments that say being obese is a choice, an unhealthy choice and indicative of a person who makes unhealthy lifestyle choices. I found myself being uncomfortably heavy lately, Know what I did? I ate less, watched what I was eating and am starting to exercise more. In a year or so I will be back to a nice normal weight.

I chose not to be an obese unhealthy person. Not everyone chooses to make such a choice. The choices you make in life (like not taking baths or wearing dirty clothes or being obese) signal to others what kind of a person you really are.

Joel, you're "generally" not disgusted by fat people? Well, that's decent of you, I suppose. But you are disgusted by what we eat and how much. Have you thought to ask your yourself and/or your psychologist all the reasons why you believe this way? Are you equally disgusted by all forms of excess (e.g., raping of the environment, excessive wealth, uncontrolled spending)? My intention is not to personally attack you or belittle the changes you've made that have had a positive effect on your life, but rather to get you and others to think about why this preoccupation with weight dominates our culture and why it is ok to so harshly judge our fellow humans. When you say you "feel bad for them," to me, you come across as self-righteous instead of empathetic. I hope I'm wrong about this. In addition to being "lied to and confused by the American food culture," I propose that we all seriously and honestly consider what role meanness, vanity, hypocrisy, and control play in "keeping ourselves fat."

I think Diane is on to something here, as her comments signal to me that she is most likely small-minded, judgmental, selfish, petty, and, I'm going out on a limb here, boring. I don't mean that you have to be fat to be exciting or an upstanding citizen -- just that you need to be kind and think about the effect your words and actions have on others. You can never really know what another person's life is like. The older I get, the more keenly aware I am of this, and the more useless and unimportant it becomes to argue with people hell-bent on trying to make me realize just how unworthy I am.

While I do agree that it does not help to put people down regarding their weight, I also don't think that they should be making any excuses.

Can someone really feel good about themselves when they are mega obese?

It's true that it's not a choice for everyone to be obese but the norms in the US somehow tell people that it's acceptable to live like this; people look around and think they're "normal" when, in fact, this is a health crisis.

I was pudgy as a child, not particularly active in sports but I did ride my bike around the neighborhood. How common is that today?

In my European life even the minimal amount of movement I get walking to the bus or tramstop is probably more than a lot of people get in a week in the US.

So I believe America needs some basic lifestyle changes.

Studies like this are often pure crapola. The researchers have a pet theory, then "study" it, and surprise surprise, the "research" supports their pet theory.

It goes on all the time, in social "research" especially, but in ANY human field where there is any wiggle room whatsoever.

That doesn't mean these things can't have truth to them: it means, the truth doesn't really matter. The pet theory mattered.

As a rider of mass transit everyday and a relatively slim fellow I can tell you that it is much more comfortable to stand on a bus than have only half a seat on which to sit. It's not that i think fat is contagious, you are just taking up too much room.

Have any of you bothered to read the full article about the book cover? The author knows what she's talking about and she makes perfect sense. And she says right up front that she knows fat people take up more room and can be uncomfortable to sit next to.
http://www.freshyarn.com/42/essays/brittingham_fat1.htm

The past two times I've taken a plane to New York, a fat man has sat next to me. I like to get the window seat so even scooting all the way to the window, he still touched me the entire flight. It's not unreasonable to not want to be touched by a stranger for a three hour flight. We all only get so much room on a plane. Why should I put up with a man spilling four inches onto my side...whose rear is so large it pushes the arm rest up and his rear spills into my seat not to mention his arm taking up not only that arm rest but a good part of my seat? Why? I will complain before the plane taxis away from the gate next time. I've made up my mind.

Hi everyone,
Just wanted to letchya know I'm out this morning but will absolutely post a response to, well, all of these responses, at some point today. It's too important an issue to ignore.
Leslie

I think that Kim did the best and funniest thing she could do and I commend her for it. I would probably have approached her and asked, but that is part of my personality.

I must admit a prejudice towards overweight people (despite the pounds I must lose, and am exercising to do so). It is difficult, though, because I have overweight family members whom I love greatly.

Josie, the comments are limited in length, so I didn't have enough space to tiptoe around everything that might offend you; sorry.

Yes, I'm disgusted by the way obese people eat when that's the cause of their weight issues. I'm also disgusted watching Amy Winehouse smoke crack or Britney flash her crotch.

Outward manifestations of ADDICTION are hard to watch without feeling sympathy/empathy towards the person.

So many Americans are addicted to food and they don't realize it or they don't know how to change it. They're eating food that nobody told them was addictive! It's like smokers in the 20th century when they thought it was fine and then they got cancer.

Honestly, most food consumed in the US should be considered inedible because it's addictive, harmful, and unnatural.

So yes, Josie, I am equally disgusted by all forms of selfishness and addiction. Call me self-righteous again; my mother died from an abcess having her gall bladder removed because she was so overweight.

Thank you for this. What's truly contagious, it seems, is misinformation and hysteria about obesity. I am SICK AND TIRED with the vilification that fat people are made to endure (it's either "good for them" or out of retaliation for making health insurance premiums higher, apparently). And I'm a thin person.

I have a very, very strong suspicion that most health problems associated with being overweight (except among the morbidly obese) will be attributable to the stress of living in a society that constantly tells you you're disgusting if you're overweight.

I applaud Kim Brittingham for making her point in a clever way, and pointing how ridiculous all of this has become.

Overweight and obesity is a very complicated issue. As an overweight woman--over 200 pounds--I have worked out 3 times a week for years, am vegetarian, and do not watch television. I dropped 80 pounds--from 300 to 220--but am still overweight and have stayed at this weight for years, however I am 'healthy' in every other respect. It has been a very emotional, physical, and mental struggle. Perception is the battle now. I resent being viewed as fat but I have made my peace with it. It is important to know, the next time you see a fat person or have to sit next to a fat person on a plane, that there is a story there and not necessarily a lazy, disgusting sub-human.

i am seriously thinking of breaking up with my girlfriend because of 'irreconcilable dietary incompatibility'.

When I am out of town for weeks I eat right and go to the gym. When I am with her, she eats all the junk and i end up 'falling off' the wagon.

I have found that the more urban the area, the more fat phobic the people.
Thank God I live in a small town where a human being is a human being.

Dear Joel,
There are great strategies for eating out. Go to a nice restaurant and order an appetizer and a wine. All restaurants have a sides or appetizer menu. This helps with portions. If you must order a full meal, share it with another person or cut it in half and immediately box the other half for later before eating your meal.
I order off the dollar menu at McD's. A simple burger hold the cheese and always a small order of FF with small size drink will satisfy a fast food craving about once a week.
Order small as possible. You will be surprised at what a cheap date you can be! Walk into any restaurant with a frugal attitude and you will be fine. Enjoy the atmosphere. If you tend to make the wrong choice at your usual haunts, change local until you gain some portion control. I quit looking at the menu seriously at my favorite haunts and just order the same couple of things. Sharing with another person should be the only occasion to order a full meal ever.

qofdisks,

I've worked in the restaurant industry for years, currently at the most upscale, most expensive restaurant in the region. I know restaurants, and they're not healthy. Even when you THINK you're eating healthy you're usually not.

Unless you specify that you want grilled fish with no butter and steamed veggies you will be eating calories you didn't even know were there.

Many "light" options at restaurants can contain over 1000 calories! Even the lightest have 500 calories or more.

If you MUST drink, red wine is the best option (as long as it's not fortified). Appetizers are portioned smaller, but the calories are still there.

If you are seriously overweight, you can lose alot of weight just from portion control, but if you want to get in really healthy shape, you can forget about burgers, fries, and coke in any portion size from a fast food joint. Make it at home, count the calories, and use organic ingredients whenever possible.

Those of you with a no-nonsense approach towards fat people - it is the same mentality that makes you tell people who suffer from depression to "snap out of it". It is much more complicated than adding and subtracting calories. A fantastic read to gain some insight into the mind of somebody struggling with weight is found here: http://www.hungryyears.com/

I have a morbidly obese brother, and while I battle with controlling my weight with varying degrees of success, I am above average looking, as long as I am not going through a "fat phase". Yet I struggle to look at him without feeling some deep hidden fear, because if I have to be honest, he represents what I fear most: Fat, unloved, lonely, unsuccessful. As with most cases of prejudice, fear is at the bottom of the emotion, and why would we fear becoming like that? Certainly not because we are worried we'd be unhealthy: rather that we know we wouldn't be accepted, becasue WE don't acccept fat people. Not really. Shame on us, including me.

If you look at BMI, most people who you may not consider fat are still actually overweight. Our whole notion of size has been altered in a dangerous way, but either the airlines and transit authorities allow for more passenger room (which means higher prices for everybody) or obese people should be made to pay for however many seats they occupy. (spill over into the next seat? you pay for 2).

A comment about the twin study mentioned earlier. How does that possibly prove obesity is genetic? All that suggests is that the likelihood of being exposed to a bad diet in a random American home is very high. Your metabolic rate can be the result of genes, but it has nothing to do with the obesity epidemic. Organisms evolve by natural selection over millions of years. Nothing explains a sudden (in the space of a few decades) obesity epidemic except environmental factors. Americans were drastically skinnier 40 years ago -- how can anyone attribute this shift to genetics when it's obviously environmental. Our diets have changed and we've become more sedentary. Those are the causes of obesity. No more myths.

"I have a very, very strong suspicion that most health problems associated with being overweight (except among the morbidly obese) will be attributable to the stress of living in a society that constantly tells you you're disgusting if you're overweight."

If this is your suspicion, you need to read more medical journals. I don't believe that stress alone has ever been linked to heart disease, cancer, diabetes, or osteoarthritis. Hypertension, yes, but that's only one of the health risks of being overweight.

"It is much more complicated than adding and subtracting calories."

Not really. What makes it complicated is that people don't know how to count calories or estimate their BMR. They think that being vegetarian or running for 30 minutes on a treadmill (both great things) will automatically make them lose weight, then they're disappointed when it doesn't happen. You can exercise 2 hours a day and if you still eat too many calories, you won't lose weight -- even if they're all grains and vegetables. The simple formula that always works, with only a few minor complications that can be ignored 99% of the time, is that if you eat fewer calories than you burn, you lose weight. People who aren't losing weight either aren't really counting every calorie, or aren't eating few enough.

"What's truly contagious, it seems, is misinformation and hysteria about obesity."

I completely agree with the misinformation part . . . it's the wolf in sheep's clothing argument that you might as well not try to lose weight if you've been unsuccessful in the past, because being overweight is OK, and everyone who tells you otherwise is out to get you. The pernicious argument is usually accompanied by true statements, like "you are worthwhile" or "being overweight doesn't make you a bad person." Both of these are important things for overweight people to realize, but should certainly not be used to inspire them to inaction. People who make these arguments are the real villains.

I admire kim for what she did, I too struggled with my weight for many many years, and I used to hate how I was stared at especially when I ate. It was like they were saying "Oh my god, is she really going to eat that!" I used to hate going out in public. I finally had gastric bypass so I could lose weight and be around longer for my kids. I now know how it feels and I can't treat people that way. I admire anyone who can turn this kind of situation around for the positive and make people think how they make obese people feel when they treat obese people like they have some kind of horrible disease. I think everyone should spend one day of their lives in a obese persons body and see how if feels, so then maybe they can appreciate what they go through. So good for you kim keep it up.

I admit I'm as guilty as anyone even though I know its wrong. I have only been overweight once in my life and that was during a period of depression and then it was only 20 pounds. However, I worked so hard to lose that weight and keep it off and was so miserable heavy I have a hard time understanding how anyone can let themselves become obese. I am not saying this applies to all the heavy people who have commented but my problem is with most of the heavy people I know constantly complaining about how heavy they are and how they can't find anything to wear, etc but at the same time never changing their behavior. My best friend is nearly obese and cries and whines about being fat but she is constantly eating unhealthy stuff. She lives at Mc Donald's, downs entire pies or gallons of ice cream at one sitting and then doesn't understand why 30 minutes on the treadmill is not going to get her down to normal weight. Then her next move is to blame genetics even though everyone else in her family is normal weight. Crazy!

Peggy, I feel you. I too am overweight, (200 lbs, 5'8"). I eat correct portions and exercise 4 - 5 times a week. My blood pressure, cholestrol and blood sugar are all normal. I can't lose those 'extra' pounds (I lost about 30 pounds in past years, but have stayed at 200 for about three years now) but I'm healthier than my 115 lb, 5'3" sister who has never been overweight in her life.
For those "fatty-haters," think twice before you judge me as lazy and unhealthy. I probably have a better BP and cholestrol count than you do!

"Peggy, I feel you. I too am overweight, (200 lbs, 5'8"). I eat correct portions and exercise 4 - 5 times a week. My blood pressure, cholestrol and blood sugar are all normal. I can't lose those 'extra' pounds (I lost about 30 pounds in past years, but have stayed at 200 for about three years now) but I'm healthier than my 115 lb, 5'3" sister who has never been overweight in her life."

This is like the lifelong smoker who says, "I'm 90 years old and I've never felt better!" Does that mean smoking is healthy? No, it means that person is the exception to the rule. This kind of post doesn't do anything but confuse people. And what do you mean by "correct portions?" -- because if you're trying to lose weight unsuccessfully, then your portions need to be "correcter." I knew a woman who was eating 1200 calories a day and losing nothing! After some convincing, she switched to 1100, and lost a lot of weight. 1100 was her "correct" number of calories for weight loss. (continued on next post)

The problem is that most people trying to lose weight don't ever even get to the point where this woman was stuck. Of the people I know who are trying to lose weight, how many actually count their daily calories? I don't think any of them do. "Counting calories" has come to mean just a general attempt to eat better, instead of its LITERAL meaning, which is what you should do if you want to lose.

"I probably have a better BP and cholestrol count than you do!"

That's certainly possible. It doesn't change the fact that being obese is a huge health risk. You're one isolated case . . . look at the real numbers. It's a health crisis!

To Dr. Proctor: You should be deeply ashamed of your cruel assertation that obese nurses should be barred from the profession until significant weight loss is achieved. Are you yourself are a perfect human being? Have you never cheated on your partner, lied to a friend, experimented with illicit drugs, gambled to excess? Is your physique exquisitely in shape with no trace cancer cells running rampant in your blood stream, supremely healthy blood pressure, low LDL cholesterol levels, etc.? You have shown at least one personal flaw through your words: a distinct lack of compassion.

Since when does a thin nurse wipe a butt better than a fat nurse? Do fat nurses administer prescribed medications less effectively than thin nurses? Now for the $25K question: are patients EVER inspired to get fit because (as your outrageous statement seems to suggest) they were cared for by a thin nurse "setting a good example" while they were hospitalized?

I can only imagine the empathy you must show to your poor patients.

jess, you are disgusting

To everyone justifying their prejudice against fat people because obesity is preventable and they can lose weight:

Ugly people can make themselves more attractive, whether through hairstyle and clothing/makeup choices or cosmetic surgery. People with certain birth defects can also have cosmetic surgery to correct their deformities. Is it OK then to shoot THEM dirty looks? After all, are you really doing them any favors by pretending they AREN'T really unattractive? I mean, geeze, with a little effort on their part, they could stop looking so disgusting to you!

There is no justification, EVER, to shoot dirty looks at (or make nasty comments about or to) a person one judges to be unattractive -- for whatever reason. All this does is show the world how mean you are, while diminishing anothers' self esteem.

It is uncomfortable to be squeezed into a seat next to a big person, this is a fact. No need to be rude to the "offender" though, quietly sit/stand elsewhere.

Treat others as you would be treated!

I would never give a dirty look to a fat person on a subway. However, if I weighed 250 pounds, I would not be surprised that people aren't sitting next to me either. Somehow, I doubt that the seat next to a 250-pound woman is a "perfectly good seat." She is probably sitting on at least part of that seat, and to call it "perfectly good" is a little disingenuous on her part. And to call it discrimination, that no one wants to sit on only part of a perfectly good seat, is simply incorrect.

I don't understand how anyone gets to be 250 pounds to begin with. Just getting off the subway a couple blocks early and walking the rest of the way could probably help Kim lose a lot of her weight, and she would probably feel healthier too. Exercise is an important part of life because it can help you feel better both emotionally and physically. I totally understand the inherent laziness that we all have, which can make it difficult to exercise, but I make an effort to get past that in order to take care of my health.

There are several things our current society feels they can ridicule with impunity:Women who are "fat", Men who are "short" and anybody who is "old".
Since 75% of people (both men and women) are clinically obese, everyone if they are lucky enough will eventually be "old", and one of the most untapped resources of caring, understanding and just plain brilliant romance is the not so small pool of "short" men,
we've lost so much to our exclusionary practices, and gained nothing from our delusions, our prejudices, our immaturity as a culture.

Funny, but she's making harsh generalizations about people with armpit hair and foul odors. It seems a little harsh for her to negatively generalize other people while getting fed up with being harshly generalized or discriminated against herself. Hypocritical indeed. I happen to have harry armpits and sweat a little when I'm crammed into a bus so needless to say I have smelly, hairy armpits.

Being obese certainly is not contagious. Nevertheless, it is disgusting. And the fat person, surprise-surprise, occupies one half of the other seat!
Yuk!

Only 30% or so of Americans are clinically obese. 66% are overweight (including the obese). I agree that there shouldn't be any dirty looks, etc., but we need to do something about the epidemic. 66% of our country is ill.

Wow! What a lot of interesting comments.
I can agree that's it's no fun to sit next to someone who's taking up part of your seat as well.

But put the offense into perspective. It's not as it they were shooting a baby or clubbing seal pups in Canada. This is a relatively trivial offense, but it seems to provoke an extreme response from people

I sympathize with overweight people, but I understand their critics. Here's how I've lost 30 pounds in the last year WITHOUT counting calories or beginning a boot-camp like exercise program:
1. I stopped eating or drinking in front of the tv, and when I'm thirsty I get up and go to the kitchen to get a drink.
2. I started using mass transit. I have to walk across the street to the bus stop, walk from transit station bus stop to the train, and walk from the train stop to my office, and then do it in reverse in the afternoon - it has added 20 minutes of walking to my schedule every day.
3. I stopped drinking sweet tea and substituted it with regular cola (I was drinking 3x as much tea as cola).
4. I eat breakfast (eggs, toast and oatmeal and cofee). It makes me full so I can eat a salad at lunch and still be full. By dinner (which I eat before 7:30) I can eat much smaller portions and still feel satisfied.
5. I stopped eating processed foots - I figure those presevatives were "preserving" my fat.

Sorry...make that "processed foods" -- processed foots! Ugh! That would turn anyone's appetite! Sorry

To Rich, Brad and Diane (I couldn't continue reading the ignorant hate blather, so there are probably more ...)

Your statements that fat is a choice show your sheer lack of knowledge. Get busy and start reading about things like metabolic syndrome. Until recently, these things were DENIED by the medical community, though they make people deposit fat at a much greater rate than so-called "normal" people. Read some of the recent research about the lack of actual science behind "cholesterol is bad, eat tons of carbohydrates" and find out why so many people are obese and developing Diabetes Type II.

All notions about diet and weight are being turned on their ears, and rightly so. The food pyramid style of eating is downright deadly and obesity producing for many people, particularly anyone of an ethnicity other than European. Yet these people, according to the medicos, are "eating healthy".

Who set you up as the arbiters of what is acceptable? Your hatred is far more ugly than any fat person.

there's a hereditary disease called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome which can lead into a lot of things. one of the symptoms of PCOS is obesity (this coming from my ob-gyn, as i have this disease). having pcos leads to high insulin, which causes you to steadily gain weight over time and makes it EXTREMELY difficult to get it off. i myself have been fighting this for nearly a year and i've only lost 30 pounds (bringing me to 220). most people don't even realize that they have this disease because they can go a big part of their lives before it begins to show. there ARE ways that obesity can be genetic, not just from our metabolisms.

those fat women on the bus may be victims of pcos and not even know it. i think people need to remember that just because we're heavy doesn't mean that we're not taking care of ourselves. you think i WANT to have heart disease? you think i WANT to be infertile and never have a family of my own? i think not.

These comments prove the point that we can never know what is going on in another person's life. What many see as overeating may be a reaction to medication or an illness (example: medication that brings on weight gain) or depression (say, from the loss of a child) can bring on weight gain, and there are "skinny" people who are carrying around dangerous levels of body fat. We don't know what's going on in another's life and that's why we need to be compassionate and not ugly and judgmental. While there is obviously a lot that the overweight can do to make their weight more manageable, that is not something that is anyone else's business. None of us are perfect and few of us would like for everyone else to be able to "see" our flaws. We need more compassion and understanding and a lot less hate.

This just too funny..
let see. I am not allowed to..
fly because my 37in shoulders don't fit the 27in seats on the plane( 25in if you fly american)
use any public transportation(see flying)
have a job that works greater than 8 hours because I need at least 8 hours at the gym each day.
to eat out.
and I get paid 10-15% less than a more thin counterpart.
and I am not allowed to be a nurse.
hmmm what part of choice did I miss...
luckily...
I am an RN
Fly EVERY WEEK I share a plane with 136 of my closest friends and cuddle with at least one them every flight
use public transportation, I share with all those unclean, smelly people
have to eat out constantly
do a job that is 12-15 hours each day
get paid well for the work I do.
I don't get to spend 8 hrs a day at the gym
genetics and lifestyle - yep it is.
choice - not even close.
choice is
30in seats on public transit
an 8 hour day for my profession
food places that have wholesome food at decent prices
not have to deal with fat bigots

Hi Beth and All, I'm a fat person at 245 lbs. I was over 300 lbs not by choice. Yes by heridity. I have inheritied a form of rhematoid arthritis called Ankylosing Spondylitis. It is crippling and for 5 years I was bedridden, not able to move over 20 feet without being winded. I also have sleep apnea, another inherited challenge that my folks died of in there mid 40's. I've survived to the age of 57 years old. I had a heart attack at the age of 47 and a stent implant. I'm still working to gain muscle. At my top weight of over 310 lbs (don't know how much for sure) I was barely able to lift a one pound weight and that is how I started. According to two orthopedic surgeons my spine had deteriorated beyond surgical repair. That was in 1998. I'm still semi-mobile. On oxygen now. No I do not want to be fat. And yes I'm working as much as my spine with bone spurs will let me. I was introduced to a site called Sparks People where folks can get free info on lifestyle changes. Continued.....

this is for all who assume all fat people eat too much.... You can also gain weight by eating too little!!! Your body goes into starvation mode and you actually gain weight. Some of us are actually very healthy, except for weight. No diabetes, high blood pressure or any of the other things obesity so supposed to cause.
Saying all "fat" people are the same is like saying all white people look alike!

I had posted my sparkspeople page. It didn't come through. I'm hoping to give some encouragement to other fat, uh fluffy people like me. I won't all ways be fat, large. I have gained muscle and now can lift a whopping 5 lbs, on somedays. I posted the sparks url. http://www.sparkpeople.com/ I hope it comes through. If any of you decide to visit the Sparks people page. my id # is tawnyj5 for anyone wanting to join. It is free. We have had dairy goats for 3.5 years now. I've managed to loose 30 lbs and my husband has lost 40. He does all the heavy lifting. I'm milking one goat now and have 2 pregant pygmy goats due to kid/birth any day. Pygmy goats milk taste similar to cows milk. I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis differential. Have skin, bone and joint challenges. And medication for these challenges have caused me to maintain this weight for 1.5 years. Blessings to all. See my sparks page to see some critters. Please consider joining. It is free

Whether fat is genetic or not, it IS sign of illness, whether emotional/mental or physical.Being fat will also KILL YOU.So stop "celebrating" your fatness and do ANYTHING YOU CAN to correct it. I have had relatives die from the offshoots of obesity. There are 12 step groups to help people who are not helped by traditional means.

Yes, I would've gotten the joke just not the attitude. There are two sides to every story & quite frankly this skinny bitch is a little tired of fat/obese/fluffy (call yourself whatever the hell you want I really don't care), people wedging themselves in where they sometimes cannot fit because "you're so tiny, you don't need that much room". Who the hell asked you? I'm aware that it's an embarrassing situation to have to go places & wonder if the accommodations will accommodate you. Something that I rarely, if ever think about. When you come & insist on trying to fit where you can’t & I, now sweating & short of breath because I'm squeezed between you & whatever else on the other side (it happened, really) decide to unwedge myself after much internal debate (will they think its about more than my actual physical discomfort?) When I decide to save myself, I'm supposed to feel bad?

Hi Folks, Didn't mean to sound whiney. Was just stating facts of my health challenges and what I'm in the process of doing to regain as much of my health as possible. http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Please sign up with friends or relatives who may have told you about that program. I was told that it is semilar to weight watchers. I've never been in weight watchers. There are lots of programs. Blessings to all.

My, my, what a lot of expert advice! I found the supercilious "medical researcher" especially hilarious - the one who thought non-thin nurses should be denied employment - Let's hope he isn't gravely ill in an understaffed hospital anytime soon.

If he were truly a medical researcher he would know that there is a CAUSAL relationship between stress and fat via the hormone cortisol for many people (not all people - we are NOT all wired alike!), and that nursing, teaching and a number of other high stress jobs have a higher percentage of obese people because of their high level of environmental stress.

Obesity is a more recent problem because the stress of life is increasingly great - ever since the downsizing of job positions. Most of us are doing the work of 3 people and are told there are people standing in line for our jobs. We don't have time to be proper parents, or children to our aging parents and we have financial problems. Foreclosure anyone? Lifestyle indeed! No wonder so many of us are fat

I am a very thin person, I can eat whatever I want, but I am REPULSED by some of the comments on here against people who are overweight. Some of the comments on here are disgusting.

Too much prejudice. I'm not saying I'm perfect but show a little respect people.

I am somewhat prejudice towards fat people. I am average height and weight and I just don't believe it when obese people say, "I eat normally", no you don't. I get frustrated when I go to my seat on a plane and I have to share half of it because the person sitting next to me is so big that they are falling into mine, I don't remember paying for half a seat. If I feel I've gained a few pounds I watch what I'm eating more closely and back off of the extras and the few pounds fall off. Fat people need to do the same thing. I know lots of fat people and they overindulge themselves. It's plain and simple. If you eat less you will weigh less.

I am so seriously shocked by peoples opinions of fat people. I am 6'2" tall and weigh 232. I just had my second child. You people should be ashamed of yourselves. If you saw some homeless guy would you point out his lack of accomodations? Are we seriously talking about this? I have a 7 year old and a 2 1/2 month old. I run around like a crazy person, eat when I can and Pray foreverything else to fall into place. I guess I just don't have time to be so frickin perfect! I dare one of you "normal" people to do what I do in in one day! Oh and by the way I think you must really be a bunch of snotty selfish brats to compare me to a dirty person. I do shower everyday and I don't stink. Forgive me for not running around in speedos up and down the street trying to lose weight. I'm busy raising two children. If you spent as much time judging your prejudice as you do judging me, maybe this world would be a better place. I don't ride public transportation, but if I did I wouldn't want you to sit next to me anyway. GET A LIFE

Oh, and by the way, I would like to know if Jay is actually stating that he does not sweat because he is "normal." I find this fascinating. Jay I promise not to discriminate against you for being born without sweat glands. I guess the waste leftover from non-persperation just flows from your mouth like foul smelling hate. You too should get a life. Why are you on this site anyway, shouldn't you be on your stairstepper?

Jay, I'm also happy to know that you have never been out of breath and that your ass takes up no room whatsoever. what would we do without people like you who vanish into thin air when they step onto a bus.

I've been both very skinny and very fat. Both were ugly, but people treated me better when I was skinny. People were mean to me when I was fat - I never want to be the fat woman again. It's horrible - the looks of disgust I received.

This is in response to Dr Proctor's comments, the research Dr. First of all, you're not even a real Dr. Second of all, get over your God complex. Third & Foremost..what about the OBESE DR's in your hospital? Why just the nurse's? I know why. Because you're jealous when we know more than YOU do. I've worked with alot of your kind in the past. And you're threatened by our knowledge, so you lash out to make US look bad. Well,"Proctor" says it all. You should be thankful that any one of the great nurses in the world would stoop to HELP you out. You wouldn't be where you are today without our help. And a GREAT Dr. realizes it. I'm a damn great nurse and I could outlast, outwork, & outwit you at my job. My weight has nothing to do with it. If I'm overweight, that's MY problem. The only thing I can't do is run a marathon. Which I believe is not my job. Just accept the fact that people are different and get OVER YOURSELF. You too Rich. Who died & told you that you're great? We don't spend hrs lecturing you on being ugly

.

my friend lost 100 lbs and everyone that saw her told her how great she look and how wonderful it was.

She didn't survive the cancer and she died....but at least she was thin

"Why is it that most larger people always complain about things? They say well gee its not out fault, its the food or its genetics. And they complain about how clothes and models aren't sized for "normal" people. The country keeps getting fatter and fatter and nobody seems to be doing anything about it. If you dont want people to stare at you on the bus and if you really want someone to sit next to you (not sure why, id rather not have anyone next to me) then lose some weight and stop disgusting everyone else."

Why is it that most skinny people act like its a mortal sin to be larger? A "normal" person, by the definition of the modeling industry, is plus-sized. Of course, being 'plus-sized' is a nicer way to say overweight thses days. I beg to differ. At a healthy 130 lbs and wearing a very normal 14/16 Miss (or even Petite in some designs!) I got offended when skinny little stick girls call me fat. Not everyone can look like they haven't eaten in days, and frankly, not many of us want to.

And, "Dr Procter",

first of all, you are, quite frankly, possibly the worst person on this board. I highly doubt you are a real doctor, and frankly, I hope you get hit by a bus, and if you survive, are treated by a fat nurse.
Secondly, my mother's best friend is a nurse, and she is, to put it simply, fat. She is also the mother of a two year old boy, works 16 hour days, and is trying to lose weight. SHe is one of the best damn nurses I know. So before you start condemning people for being fat, look at their lives, and maybe think about whether or not they have time to try and lose that weight. SOme people I know barely have enough time to sleep, let alone worry about what they eat. Dr. Proctor, people like you make me sick

And, "Dr Procter",

first of all, you are, quite frankly, possibly the worst person on this board. I highly doubt you are a real doctor, and frankly, I hope you get hit by a bus, and if you survive, are treated by a fat nurse.
Secondly, my mother's best friend is a nurse, and she is, to put it simply, fat. She is also the mother of a two year old boy, works 16 hour days, and is trying to lose weight. SHe is one of the best damn nurses I know. So before you start condemning people for being fat, look at their lives, and maybe think about whether or not they have time to try and lose that weight. SOme people I know barely have enough time to sleep, let alone worry about what they eat. Dr. Proctor, people like you make me sick

Seriously? So, err, going with your postulate,.. that the person I'm sitting next to is "fat"
(relative to..? What? Me!?") Okay, easy enough.

Then that means I'm the skinny one, right?

Does sitting next to a "skinny person" make you more likely to become skinny?

Shut-up.

wow. i'm somewhat amazed by how vehement everyone on here is getting. although i must admit that i've enjoyed reading all of these comments. even though a lot of them are offensive (and, honestly, hateful) i suppose everyone's entitled to their opinion.

Seeing my daughter grow up has changed my attitude twords "obese".At age five she began to show signs of asthma.By eight she was regularly being shot up with sterois (and a host of other drugs) to controll attacks 4 to 6 times a year.By 12 she looked more like a 16 or 17 year old due to her enormus breasts. At 12 she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.After removal of her thyroid the balence of her replacement hormones determined her weight gain...to little, she gained weight. Too much, chanced kidney damage. I no longer look at an overweight person the same...I look at them as someones daughter,son,husband or wife. Skinny people on the otherhand....

I may be fat, but YOU are IGNORANT. (What's your excuse?)

Very interesting reading, all these opinions. Sad to say, that some of the folks who now seem to hate or despise fat people, may have health challenges in the future that prevent them from being mobile or they may have to take medication that causes weight gain. Then when they recall their comments here. They may beat themselves up for gaining weight and not be able to loose weight.

We had a tragedy happen down the street from us a couple of days ago. A young man, jumped in front of a car on a major highway. For some reason he was walking with 2 members of his family. The driver of the car had no way to avoid him. It was a little after 10:00 PM. I wonder if he was fat.

Folks have committed suicide because of things that were said or done by uncaring people.

I wonder if any people on this board have helped pushed a suicidal person over the edge by your actions towards them.

I hope that I haven't done or said anything cruel to anyone to make them feel that bad. Be kind.

Ok, I don't care if you are fat, a smoker, a drug addict etc. I care that because of the number of obese individuals in our country, our healthcare costs and insurance costs have sky rocketed. I think junk food and high fat, high sugar food choices should be taxed just like cigarettes and alcohol, and then that money used to cover healthcare costs! I am not predjudice about your weight, if I like you I like you! I just don't think I should have to help pay the cost of your medical problems. Each person's weight and lifestyle should be taken in to account when they are charged insurance premiums. Beleive me, you start costing people money and they will probably change!!!

Wow.. alot of anger here... I am 18, 5"4 and 153 lbs. female. I've struggled with weight all my life but made a choice to do something about my weight when I was 13. I haven't gotten to my goal weight yet (135lbs.) but everyday I'm hoping I can get there. It's hard reading these comments directed toward those who are obese. While some are good, rational arguments, others just seem biased. I won't agree that obesity is ok but I will agree that it is a choice. genetics can only play so much of a role, like diseases. Even if you don't THINK you are choosing to be overweight, it is probably time to re-evaluate your lifestyle and cutback anywhere you can. On the other hand, you can't really tax unhealthy foods because they are sold very cheaply, and most people will go for a cheap option. Also, did you know you can be average size, 120 lbs,etc, and still be more overweight then a bigger person? It's callled skinny-fat, when food is stored from lack of working out? You may look thin, but have more body fat than is ok

Probably have to be well more than 250 to be one of those disgustingly fat people that spills into the chairs next to them, and such. My gf is 5'3 200, and does not spill off into other people's chairs. I have a coworker that is 5'11 and 300, and he does not spill off into other people's chairs, either.

I do know someone who is disgustingly fat, she claims she's 250, but at 6'2, and her size, she must be pushing 500.

I was a skinny kid up until I turned 14. My mom was a marathon runner and we always ate healthy, home-cooked meals. We never even had so much as a box of Lucky Charms in the house. When I turned 14, I started gaining an unusual amount of weight. When I was 16, I was diagnosed with a thyroid condition. Medication for thyroid problems is difficult to regulate, and by the time I graduated from high school, I was over 200 lbs. I'm 30 years old now and my thyroid is now normal, but I'm still a big girl. I eat right, I take daily walks, I drink my water, I lift weights--but I'm still big. All you assholes who think you're somehow doing me and every other fat person a favor by glaring at us while we go about our lives can stick it where the sun don't shine. I take excellent care of myself, my skin is beautiful, I smell quite lovely and I've known many men who loved sharing "personal space" with me. I'm just SO thankful I'm not a heartless jerk-off who makes mistreats people based on assumptions I make about their lives!

Maybe it's just because my mother and a couple of my close relatives are obese, but I really don't see how people can look at obese people and react in a drastic way. I mean, really. Fat person. Big whoop.

Then again, it is somewhat repulsive when people are obese simply because they do not take care of themselves. Genetics or not, you need to do something about it.

And to contrast, being underweight isn't fun either. I'm fourteen, 5'2", 85 - 90 lbs. My physician/doctor told me I could've been considered anorexic or something. I'm currently taking measures to get to a healthy weight...But I'm getting off-topic, I think.

I am not and never have been disgusted with overweight people and I don't see why others are. Again with the whole taking action thing, but seriously now. There isn't too much to be taken aghast by. But maybe that's just me.

I am completely shocked and stunned by the hatred, discrimination, and vile negativity I have found in these comments. What I find completely ironic is that most of you probably call yourselves Christians - it is afterall the most common religion in this country. It appears that the practice of non judgment applies only if you are skinny (and we all wonder why so many of our teen age girls have eating disorders).

I'm 16, 5'9.5", and 200-and-some-odd lbs. I'm trying to lose weight and have been all my life. I come from a big Italian family, and Italians know how to eat. My parents and I haven't always been careful about how much we eat, though. Back when I started middle school, people (peers and adults alike) have been calling me "fat" to my face. I've always had problems finding clothes that look good on me, too (I'm sure most overweight people here can relate). This only ended up making me feel worse about myself than I already did, which resulted in my emotional eating when I was upset after being mercilessly teased. To all of you out there who think "fat people" are gross, you're only adding fuel to the fire by calling us overweight individuals rude names, pointing and whispering, giving us dirty looks, etc. TJN, I completely agree with what you have to say! And Kurt, 6'2" people are supposed to weigh more than other people, so leave that woman alone because you have no idea how much she really weighs.

FatLibrarian, you go girl! Thanks for saying everything that I didn't get a chance to say, you are completely correct.

I am overweight, very overweight. I have been overweight since I hit puberty. I really hated myself for it for a really long time. When I was a teenager I joined weight watchers, I followed it for a year with minimal weight loss. I exercised regularly & played sports until I was almost 20 years old. I would go days w/o food to punish myself for being fat. I seriously hated myself for it and I took every little thing that everyone did as their bias against me for being fat. I thought something was wrong, because I ate less than my friends & exercised & played sports. When I asked my pediatrician he called me a liar. I got tired fighting & stopped exercising & started eating whatever (then I got really fat). Finally when I was 24 a doctor took the time to diagnosis what was actually wrong & put me on medication. Now I can lose weight, but it is slow going. Now I dont have to hate myself because I can understand why. But you morons out there go on hating... Whatever, I cant change you, just me.

If Rich is such a well-balanced, perfect example of a human being why does he have so much time to spread his viciosness. Doesn't he have someone else to abuse?

The vicious, hate-filled, and discriminatory comments on this thread are really quite shocking to me. We wonder why our politicians are divisive and hateful and our Congress and Senate cannot work together to better our nation? We wonder why our children taunt each other mercilessly until some of them develop eating disorders? We need only look in the mirror to find out where the negativity needs to stop. I challenge each and every person on this board to go one entire day without making any disparaging, condescending, hateful comments to or about anyone else. I challenge you to be the bigger person. I challenge you to walk away from the gossipers and complainers and not add fuel to the fire. See how good you feel when you let go of negativity. Happy people don't need to put others down. Happy people can live and let live. Overweight people are people, not sub-humans for you to criticize and chastise and "help" by giving nasty looks. It breaks my heart when people act so horribly toward others.

I don't buy it. I do agree that it may have "some" effect as in you start to feel that it's ok as long as your not "as fat" as the person sitting next to you. In any event try Slim-30 if you're trying to lose weight! woohoo!

I'd like to know how you can tell if the overweight person spilling into your seat isn't in the process of fighting their weight problem?

How do you know he or she isn't mortified when they look in the mirror and doing everything they can to get this under control?

How do you know whether they have been successful and lost a good amount of weight so far, only to be made to feel like their efforts aren't enough, when they're faced with ignorant people who assume that they know everything there is to know about a person just by looking at them?

Last year when I went on a submarine ride with my family, I sat down in a seat and the next person, a fat woman, sat down heavily on my hip and thigh. She didn't even apologize as I pulled myself out from under her. I didn't make a sound because I was shocked. I would have been happy to move over to make room for her, but the round bowl-like indentations in the bench indicated where we were supposed to be sitting.

"Why is it that most skinny people act like its a mortal sin to be larger?... I got offended when skinny little stick girls call me fat. Not everyone can look like they haven't eaten in days, and frankly, not many of us want to"

Please understand something. I weigh 132 lbs, I'm 5'9" tall. Right now is the most i've ever weighed in my life, and I'm three months pregnant. My best friend is more than slightly overweight. She's the most beautiful person I've ever met in my life. My nickname was "beanpole"/"twiggy" growing up. I have an excessively overactive metabolism and it took being pregnant to get me to weigh more than 115 lbs. Or be less than 20 lbs. underweight. I eat like a horse, and tried for years to gain weight. I was told I could not carry a baby unless I gained weight. Ppl always asked if I planned on getting help for my anorexia. I'd never eaten less than 4000 calories a day. My dr. told my mom to take me to mcD's twice a week when I was little. Not all skinny girls think stuff like that. I don't.

Thank you, "normal people" for showing such concern for our health and well-being by calling us disgusting and comparing our weight to (among other things) Britney Spears flashing her crotch in public. I can totally see the correlation there.

I also love the assumption that, if you are fat, you must do nothing but sit around and eat "triple cheeseburgers" all day.

I work at a museum, I babysit my nephew, I go on hikes in the woods, I sing on praise team, I take ballroom dance, I'm on committees, I've acted professionally (yes, this fat ass actually got paid to sing and dance), done modeling work, and my blood pressure and cholesterol are on the low side of normal.

Now, could I try to fit some extra exercise into my schedule? Sure.
Could I choose not to indulge in the occasional fast food? Absolutely.
Would I be tickled if I were thinner. Of course.

But how dare you assume you know ANYTHING about my life and the choices I make just because you've managed to observe that I'm not a size 2, or 6, or even 14.

It is interesting how polarizing this issue seems to be. I just got back from living in Spain for 3 months and if being fat is genetic, somehow the Spainards don't seem to be all that affected. The vast majority of the obese people I saw in Spain were tourists and most of them were American.

The reality is, most obese people are not obese because they are genetically predetermined to be, they are obese because of the environment they live in and the daily choices they make.

There is something happening here in the US. Our food portions are huge if you compare them to the portions of just a few decades ago. We are working more hours and as a result probably more stressed and less likely to have time to work out. Add to that the increase in processed foods and the lack of natural foods in our diet. It is no wonder obesity is becoming an epidemic.

Obesity it seems, is merely a symptom of our society. You can treat symptoms all you want but until you address the cause there is no cure.

One day on a bus I saw what looked like empty seats toward the back, on a side facing bench. I got to the back of the bus and first saw a woman so heavy she took up two seats. I looked at her companion to see if he was in any way ashamed to be with a woman so heavy. No, he was so heavy he took up two seats as well. They were engaged in conversation across the middle, empty seat. Who would have been comfortable taking that seat? The result: We all pay the same price to ride the bus, but two people were taking up 5 seats.

skinny-not-so-bitch, I am truly heartwarmed reading your comment. It is really awesome to know that there are skinny people out there who don't think you have to be skinny to be beautiful. I wish you the best of luck with your baby. My prayers will go with you in the hopes that you bring a healthy child into this world without any harm to yourself.

I agree that it is not always genetics that determine whether one is fat or skinny. But please, people, do the world a favor and get all the facts before you judge someone on their weight. When you say that a fat person is just lasy, you are making generalization. I know plenty of lazy skinny people too.

High Five to mamabigdog (march 13)

Kudos to the teenager who said (I'm paraphrasing) 'so, some people are overweight - big deal.' You know, most of us can see diversity in front of us -young, old, big, small, different colors, gay, straight, etc., and not react. It registers, and that's all. Not all of us glare at people who don't seem to be exact replicates of ourselves.

As a fat/plump/full figure/obese what ever.....I have found that sitting next to a diet conscience person has made me more aware of what I eat and I have found that my foods of choice have changed to just simply eat healthy and in doing that have found myself actually going vegan with a lot more interest of no meat, no fur, no milk etc. How did I get (FAT) I just found myself in a high stressed job where I gave little if no time to myself and let fast food cater to me as I was always on the go. So you don't always get fat by over eating or being lazy it can creep up on you by just eating at the wrong time, eating the wrong foods and getting burned out. The important thing is to be healthy. Go Vegan!!!

Citing extremely rare metabolic disorders is fine and dandy . . . but since most obese people don't have them, it's not really that useful to this conversation. I agree with the person who mentioned that the food pyramid is ridiculous -- but just because our government doesn't know about correct nutrition doesn't mean you can't educate yourself about it. Also, eating a perfectly balanced diet won't help you lose weight unless you eat LESS of it.

And I don't think I've been "hateful" in any of my posts. I realize it's a difficult process to lose weight and keep it off. Quitting smoking is also a difficult process. It's out of concern for our collective health as a nation that I reject all of this "getting fat is OK" talk, just as I reject "smoking is OK" talk.

Horrifying generalizations! Appreciation to those who can look beyond the superficial.
Am overweight - progressively. Also, happen to have had systemic progressive debilitating physical conditions. You're frustrated?? Have been more so watching masses overconsume, take for granted and abuse their bodies. I've never eaten a triple burger or entire container of anything. I cook from scratch using fresh ingredients, limit quantities & frequency of intake. Eating out is a rarity. Am physically able to do little or no exercise.
Overindulgence and laziness are not only societal epidemics, but exist across strata.
It's appalling to experience the hate, ignorance, prejudice, and stupidity of so many. The perpetrators should exercise their brain and humanity in addition to their biceps. Give people the benefit of the doubt. One shouldn't have to advertise their life history or justify themselves to earn common courtesy. You really don't know anything about someone until you've invested the time to get to know them.

I exercise an hour a day, much of it fairly vigorous. For 27 years, I have been a vegetarian and the large majority of what I eat (by weight) is fruits and vegetables. I have never eaten a triple cheeseburger in my life. In fact, I pretty much never eat enough to make me feel full. And yet, I am obese.

All you people who say that being obese is my fault, or that it's OK to deny me a job because I'm "obviously" not taking care of myself, what exactly is it that you want me to do? I bet my lifestyle is WAY healthier than yours is!

Judy, have you ever counted the exact number of calories you eat per day? Have you figured out your BMR? Exercising every day and being a vegetarian is great (it's certainly the exception among fat or skinny people in the US), so yes, your lifestyle is healthier than almost anyone else's. That doesn't mean you'll lose weight. And, that doesn't mean you'll BE healthier than a skinny person who eats crap and never exercises. That skinny person probably won't get osteoarthritis, but you have a good chance of getting it. Even if you have Prader-Willi, or some other extremely rare disorder, it's still all about calorie intake.

I'm fat. I have type two diabetes which was only recently diagnosed. However, one of the main symptoms of diabetes is that you feel as if you can eat a house. When I complained about that symptom, and the fact that if I didn't eat I began trembling and getting weak, sweaty and my eyes blurred. This took place over several years during which I gained more and more weight.

I went to a dietician who put on a diet. I ate rice cakes, a baked potatoe, lots of salad and chicken. Had they known I was diabetic, they would have known that the rice and potatoes added to my symptoms.

Now I'm on medication and I count carbs. At least now we know what was causing the weight gain. I still feel as if I could eat a house, but I now how to control it now.

Try a little compassion. You never when you lovely svelt body will turn on you and you will become the pariah.

hey whats up? i actually was reading something else in the news when i saw the crazy headline. being a kid and all, i dont get much respect from all those skinny kids out there. well, i WAS really fat for my age (13, 5'1, 190 pounds) but then i just gave in to all those mean people who made fun of me daily by going on a diet. things are way different now(14, 5'4, 11 pounds) but i'll never forget those cruel little kids. the funny thing is, they all want to be my friend now.