Dirty martini, anyone? (it's green-ish!)

Today, the Chicago River is bleeding. 'Tis a sad site, really - fluorescent green liquid coursing through my city. I know the dye is non-toxic but still...it's just so wrong.

Also wrong today: Green beer. It's everywhere, advertised on Irish pubs; in email chains sent by distant relatives (um, we're Jewish, remember? We drink purple Manischewitz); featured in newspaper and online articles. Can I just say, I would sooner tuck into a stick of butter than chug some kelly green ale.

Truth: I have not had a beer - any kind of beer - since 1995. This not an exaggeration. Miller, Blue Moon, Guinness, Woodchuck - I hate it. Loathe it. To me, the taste of beer is similar to, if not worse than, the smell of fabric Band-aids mixed with peanuts. BarfGagGross. I only drank it to catch a buzz during my freshman year of college. Once my oh-so-fabulous fake ID came in the mail, I jettisoned the keg for Long Island Iced Teas. Which, I might add, I also no longer imbibe. I would probably get drunk off two sips of that crap we used to love so much.

If you like the stuff, by all means, I toast you. Enjoy it, get a lil shnockered, stick out your green tongue. To drink or not to drink green beer is a deeply personal choice. Just don't take down too much...that's one nasty hangover I don't want to see.

PS For some freaking funny (and potentially offensive...you've been warned) St. Patrick's Day e-cards, visit someecards.com

Comments

ohh the rambles I could share :)
green beer, spring break, no longer drink *any* beer as a result, the days o'yore of long island iced teas...ahhh youth.

Happy St. P's day from one purplewinedrinker to another.

m.

I don't understand why dying the Chicago River green is "So wrong".. I think it's all in good spirit and funny that the river is pretty much green all year.

"the smell of fabric band-aids mixed with peanuts"!!! Hands-down, best line I've heard all day. And I thought I was the only one who literally recoils from those nasty cloth band-aids.