Like, OMG did you know that eating less/exercising more is SO last decade?!
I constantly get spam like this sent to me because of my prolific (and finely-tuned, amusing, educational, etc) writing and I have to share this one because, well, it's breaking medical news that you need to know. My own interpretation is added in bold.
"Have you ever been told that the only way to lose weight is the Old Fashioned method of eating less and exercising more? Only by crap spammers like you.
If this were true, how come we’re getting fatter even though we’re starting (sic) ourselves and working out like crazy in the gym? You women especially know what I mean (forgotten period theirs, not mine.) Oh, do we ever! Women are basically 100% responsible for the obesity problem in this country, anyhow, and it's because we simply cannot control ourselves, pigging out 24/7.
Would you believe us if we told you that by EATING MORE and never again eating a “DIET” food could cause you to lose weight? (and reverse a whole host of other health related issues at the same time) (again) Not if it involves taking some shady supplement or being injected with cattle urine.
DON’T MISS our Conference Call to find out if this makes sense to you…
WHO: Jill Price, Certified Weight Loss Coach, METABOCleanse™ Well, there it is.
WHAT: Conference Call via your own phone in the privacy of your own home/office. Could be a nice way to pass 15 minutes while slaving away in a corporate America cublicle. Dial into a pre-reserved number along with a pin code and be connected to a live Q & A (number to be given upon registration – FREE)
WHY: Find out how eating more and steering clear of diet soda, fat-free dressings and low fat foods can actually heal your bodies’ natural ability to slim itself Why so afraid of punctuation and grammar? Do they make you fat, too?
WHEN: Next Tuesday, April 1st, 8:30 p.m. EST Really? April Fool's Day. Rilly.
HOW: Register for FREE
Email Jill at jill@thisishorsecrap.com or call her at (999) NOT-TRUE. Conference Call Telephone Number and Pin Code will be issued at the time of Registration I made up this email address to relect my disdain for the concept. Do not blame me if you go to thisishorsecrap.com and find something very disturbing and life-altering.
This call is for information purposes only. You will not be charged a fee, nor will you be pressured into signing up for anything. coughbullshitcough This call is structured with our best intentions – to give you the opportunity to see if our Weight Loss/Detox theories make sense to you and fit into your belief system, your lifestyle and your budget!" Actually, the website says $75 per teleclass and $400 for "cleansing herbs and supplements."
Y'all, this reminds me of one of my very favorite commercials on TV now - for a product called Akavar that promises all sorts of weight loss and money and glitter and fame, with a man repeatedly proclaiming, in a low, deep voice "And we couldn't say it on TV if it wsn't true." Um, really? You can't say things on TV unless they're true? Because I watched Bret Michael's Rock of Love Part 2 on the tele last night and I'm prett-y sure some of that stuff is made up. Although I do heart the hopelessly long and incredibly clumsy Akavar website: http://www.eatallyouwantandstillloseweight.com/
How's this for a link: www.stoptakingpills andstickingpelletsupyerbumjustbecausesometwitonTV tellsyouitwillmakeyouthinitwon't.org.au
Comments
Wow. Scary
But Awesome post, Leslie! I LOVE the website at the end,lol!!!!!!!
What do you mean Rock of Love 2 isn't real? I go mud wrestling with other girls in my underwear all the time...
LMAO. That's all. Just LMAO.
Nikki, DH says you're his hero. :-)
V.
Woowwee! Superb post! METABOCleanse⢠my ass! p.s i'm very disappointed that thisishorsecrap.com is not for real though ;-) I just love your 'coughbullshitcough'
That's awesome! I love a good dose of withering cynicism that makes me laugh! Especially poking fun at stupid people trying to take our money, insult our intelligence and waste our time! :D
(Actually, the sad thing is that there's lots of people out there who are happy to convince themselves that the easy "magic cure" will work and so they hand over the money instead of taking action)
How awesome art thee, Leslie? Let me count the ways: 1 - the made up sites (although, sadly, thisishorsecrap.com is nothing) 2 - the punctuation police. I thought I was the only one driven mad by this. 3 - reminding us that nothing is free, except stupidity:)
SHhhhhhhiiiitt, u r 2 funny, sexxxy ladeee!!1!
Metabocleanse works because it shares how to eat without toxins and when your body rids itself of toxins the body's metabolism works better.
Great program, woth the $75.00 for 3 hour+ calls, once a week and the Shaklee supplements for the 8 weeks $400 - more nutrients, will change your life because you will feel detoxed = feeling wonderful. ailments go away, clean mind, happy --
Wow! You are one dumb bitch! You have ZERO grouds to stand on and make any of these comments! Jill's program works as well as all the bootcamps and fitness classes she teaches. She would not be doing this WORLDWIDE if it did not work! She is an amazing person who has made it her lifes desire to help others with their weight issues.
And your "cough bullshit cough" is just lame and shows your stupidity. If you want to rip someone then try the program and share your results, dont just sit at your internet and do it because you have no LIFE!
