About those contagious eating disorders...

While Charlotte sleeps the night away in NYC awaiting her star turn on the Mike & Juliet show (yay!), I wanted to share with you a few of the responses I received after asking if any of you feel like you ever "caught" an eating disorder.

The idea of EDs as "contagious" has been in the news lately after a study in the International Journal of Eating Disorders of more than 15,000 American high school students showed that eating disordered behaviors - binging, fasting, diet pill use, exercising and more (but not purging) - clustered among girls within counties, regardless of location (rural, suburban or urban).

My senior year of college, I lived in an aparentment with six other girls. Out of the seven of us, six had or had previously had some form of ED - bulimia, anorexia, complusive over-exercising or over-eating. I don't believe any of them "gave" me an eating disorder...indeed, I became sick my freshman year of college and was quote recovered unquote by this point. But I relapsed. And I have to say, part of that may have been due to the pressure of living among a group of thin, beautiful women. (Of course, I was also about to graduate and become a writer, rather than pursue my lifelong, mapped-out "dream" of going MD, so my head was in a tizzy and I was freaking out. Obsessing about calories is a sadly effective way to take your mind off of stuff like that.)

Anyhow, read on for a few responses. All replies are posted with consent of the authors.

Emily, 22, Iowa

"Hi! This is Emily, faithful reader of your "Weighting Game" blog. I could sing your praises any day, I really appreciate your insight on there! But more to the point, I have often pondered how 'contagious' eating disorders can be, particularly since I myself had one that was definitely influenced by others: an aunt and a close friend.

My ED took control somewhere during my last semester of high school. I was working a lot of hours at a local coffee shop, trying to graduate, and completely clueless what to do post-grad. Add in some serious emotional relationship issues, and I was a ticking bomb. I chose to explode via ED..."

I certainly do not think my ED was forced upon me by others, but I can certainly attribute a big influence from them. My aunt (mother's sister) had been one of the 'white elephants' in our family for a while; long before I was born. While I don't remember thinking of her as looking emaciated at any point growing up, once I was a teenager--old enough to listen to the other adults in the fam gossip--I learned that this aunt had struggled with an ED off and on for years. I knew she caused her family a lot of pain, and that they only wanted her to be better. I didn't really gain insight into EDs from that, but it was definietly a memorable topic of conversation; raised my awareness of the disorder somewhat. Ironically, because of this, my mom was always one of the first to 'spot' ED girls/women amongst acquaintances or strangers. She knew the signs. I knew how to hide them better, though, as time would prove.

The second influence was a co-worker and friend, we'll call her Lara (not real name). She openly talked about how much she hated her body at work, and of course I had gained some weight eating and drinking free coffee shop fare, so I joined right in.

Somehow it took a turn to us trying to eat less than the other; unspoken competition to lose weight. It wasn't long before we were "sabatoging" the others' diet by using whole milk in the lattes instead of skim, etc. Ridiculous. SO unhealthy. The worse came later. We decided it'd be "better" for both of us to lose weight together. The competition was still there; comparing what we'd eaten (or not) during the day. She always ate more, but she also exercised more. I became a die-hard restrictor. I knew it wasn't right, but I never thought of it as an ED. After all, my mom didn't notice. And the compliments were too good to be true...at first. Once people started calling me too skinny, I turned to the web for support and the sickly "thinspiration." Not long after graduating, I quit the job at the coffee house. I also lost touch with my ED-buddy. She was scaling back; saving herself from plunging off the cliff, while I was determined to jump head first.

I could go on for hours about this topic, as I'm sure you're aware. The ED got worse and worse, eventually I went to an in-patient treatment center. As I'm sure is sadly common, I learned more 'tricks of the trade'" from fellow patients, and relapsed pretty harshly within months of completing the program.

I sincerely hope this is helpful to you. I'm now a senior in college, looking forward to starting a career in the written media (or a job like yours, of course!), and although it's been a long journey, I consider myself as much of a success story as can be when it comes to ED. I'd be delighted to talk to you more if you're interested. Best of luck with this and all your work!"

Amanda, 19. Indiana

Leslie,

First of all, you crack me up! I'm reading your book "Locker Room Diaries" right now, and I often find myself laughing out loud at your wit (which is quite embarrassing when one is sitting in the middle of Starbucks on a Saturday afternoon or sweating up a storm on the elliptical in my university's gym). Anyway, I am a die hard Weighting Game reader from now on.

On to your question... *sigh* I am actually in treatment for an eating disorder and have been for the past year and three months. I do believe I caught the weight obssessiveness from my friends in high school. We were in a health class in 9th grade, but I never really thought much of it. I continued to eat ravioli from Olive Garden and pizza at youth group. Even during my Senior year, in the middle of my disorder, I was still the Betty Crocker of my class. Of course I never DARED eat anything I made.

My group of eight girlfriends were all very weight conscious. Lunch was full of,

"Ugh, I'm so fat."
"I ran 8 miles last night!"
"I can't believe I'm eating this... wanna split a couple cookies?"
"Hey! Bring that pizza over here right now!"
"My arms are sooo flabby."

One girl subsisted on an ounce of fat free cottage cheese and a tiny plum for a whole semester until her mom stepped in and made her eat french fries and junk until she was "cured" of anorexia. Ha. Right. Like she really had anorexia.

None of my other friends took it to the extreme that I did. At my lowest, I weighed 87 pounds, and I'm 5'4". Growing up I always felt overweight, and I was truly pudgy, but not obese. The summer before I caught ED, I was roughly 135 and extremely toned. I would run 5 miles every other day and do strength training as well. In my mom's words, "Amanda, you were HOT". Then I lost 18 pounds in a week because I basically stopped eating while I was on a mission trip. I claimed to feel sick every time I ate but honestly, I think it was ED telling me that my then boyfriend would love me more if I could lose those 10 extra pounds I (not he) loathed so much.

From there, my eating became so disordered it's not even funny. Until recently, all I ate was huge amounts of cauliflower, stewed tomatoes, pumpkin (heated into a soup), whole wheat bread, TONS of strawberries, yogurt, GoLean cereal, Luna bars, grilled chicken, and lots of coffee. Every. Single. Day. Did I mention I had no life after 5 PM because I was eating in order to fulfill my calorie quota set by my nutritionist? And mom was watching over my shoulder making sure "it all got in". I was literally up until 2 AM, eating. It was miserable.

And it all goes back to my lunch table in high school. All those comments. And one girl who constantly talked about eating a lean pocket then running it off for 2 hours. She would eat half a small ice cream and then only eat crackers for days. Yet she never looked like a skeleton like I did. I took it to the extreme. In ED's mind, I was a better anorexic. I went the distance. Ugh, I hate his voice (you know it all too well). Because of her and her luna bar and banana for lunch, or 5 saltines because "that's all we had!", I lost my entire life and future. I would not be where I am right now if I had never caught her ED and gone too far. It is a daily struggle and one I hope will be getting better eventually.

Right now I'm trying the Seattle Sutton Healthy Eating program. It is a prepared meal service that it all very healthy and calorie/portion controlled. Hopefully I can get back to more normal eating and relearn that a baked potato or ravioli will NOT make me balloon up to 300 pounds. It is a very slow work in progress.

Phew! Thank you for your funny weight anecdotes. They keep me grounded. Keep up the great work. I am trying to take one of your chapter titles to heart, "A waist is a terrible thing to mind".

Charlotte, 29, Minnesota

“Just got your e-mail about 'contagious' eating disorders - are there any other kind?? Really though, that was exactly how I got sucked into this nonsense in the first place. I was a waitress at 15 in a college restaurant and learned weight-loss 'tips' (that read like a pro-ana site) from my fellow, older waitresses. Of course what they taught me was how to have an eating disorder. Our dinner break was actually a competition to see who could eat the least real food.

Although I gotta say that in my case genetics definitely cocked the gun (I have a long history of family eating disorders). It was only a matter of time before something pulled the trigger. I'm also sad to say that I, in turn, spread the disorder to my sister and a close friend of mine who still struggles with it to this day.”

Comments

Hey, I can totally relate to Amanda when she said she didn't have a life after 5 because she had to eat and eat and eat to get all those calories in. That was me too. Now I'm really pleased with how I'm doing - I have taught myself how to eat throughout the day so that I can actually be social at night and hang out. I've joined several clubs on campus. And it's crazy how much time I feel like I have, because even though I'm doing sooo much more extra-curricular things, I'm not wasting 2+ hours every day planning meals, counting calories, etc. I'm just really excited for when I can finally call myself "recovered" and not just "in recovery" because it'll just give me that much more freedom. Haha, I'm going to run out of room on here, but the more I talk the more inspired I get. Thanks, gals! :-)

For me, I think that I became a compulsive over-eater because first my boyfriend (who had many other bad behaviours) was an overeater (and weighed in excess of 300 lbs), and then I lived with my friend for 4 years who was recovering from anorexia & went straight into over-eating. When we lived together, she had her finances in better control, so she did all the grocery shopping, and I would pay her back. I gained 90 lbs in 5 years. I've lost 70 now, but those influences are no longer in my life.

Amanda - I used to cook for everyone and never eat it too. Your HS friends sound a lot like mine... I swear we could've solved world peace if we'd devoted half as much energy to politics as we did discussing food and exercise. Glad you are doing better now!

Ah girls, it's hard to read your stories but at the same time I'm glad I'm not the only one who went through this stuff!!

Thanks Leslie, for giving me the opportunity to be on the show - it was fun!

Not only was my ED influenced by my peer group (by the age of ten my friends and I were comparing our bodies and complaining how f-a-t we were) but also largely by the media. I remember being on a trip the summer before 6th grade and reading a magazine which said that Janet Jackson only ate 900 calories per day. So began the calorie counting and restricting and over-exercising, which landed me in the hospital for anorexia at 15. Now almost 22, my eating/body issues are still a daily struggle and I still find myself being affected by others comments about their body, food, etc.

Not only was my ED influenced by my peer group (by the age of ten my friends and I were comparing our bodies and complaining how f-a-t we were) but also largely by the media. I remember being on a trip the summer before 6th grade and reading a magazine which said that Janet Jackson only ate 900 calories per day. So began the calorie counting and restricting and over-exercising, which landed me in the hospital for anorexia at 15. Now almost 22, my eating/body issues are still a daily struggle and I still find myself being affected by others comments about their body, food, etc.

I'm so sorry for the struggles everyone who has commented has gone through. I think you should be incredibly proud of your strength for surviving, and for your courage and compassion for others in sharing your story!

A couple of commenters have spoken about the lunch table discussions in high school (or jr high) about having to run off calories or restrict intake. Where do those ideas come from? Where are girls getting the idea that they must treat their bodies this way in order to be 'good' and loveable? Is it family, media, older friends? I would be grateful if anyone can share their ideas on how these messages get conveyed to girls in the first place.

I have 2 young daughters. They deserve healthy active bodies. In fact, I do, too. ALL girls do! I want to figure out a way to counteract the subversive messages we get to abuse ourselves. I'm just not sure how!

Thank you so much.