I'm a 15! What are you?

OMFG, have you heard of Club 21? No? Oh my God, you are, like, so out of it. What are you, some kind of total loser? Whatevs, I'll give you the deets anyways.

Club 21 is an elite clique (this is Leslie, circa 2008, talking now) to which high school girls at St Patrick's College in Queensland, Australia can belong – if they’re willing to partake in a ranking system based on the philosophy “ugly girls need not apply." Members are ranked according to their weight, from one to 21. The number is displayed on each girl’s wrist, which reminds me of the arm bands Jews were forced to wear during the Holocaust. The thinner the girl, the prettier and more popular she is assumed to be and thus, the higher her rank.

I know what you're thinking - "Wait! High school girls rating each other and basing popularity on looks?! The next thing you'll now, the government is going to tell us the sun is a flaming ball of gasses high in the sky!" Hard to believe, but yes, it's true, and it makes me so, so sad.

Simply belonging to a clique is no longer enough. Wearing jelly bracelets to signal to the boys which sex acts you're willing perform is passe. Now, girls are letting their peers marker a numerical rating on their wrists to tell the world (and when you're in high school, it seems that really is The World) how skinny/worthwhile they are.

If my sister-in-law delivers a little girl this September, I'm locking her up and home schooling her - I will travel to and from Los Angeles every day if I have to. Anything to avoid this "circle the fat" mentality.

I will say, when I was in 7th grade, I was a member of the coolest group of girls - Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer and Jessica. We ruled the school. They were all thin and cute and I was tall and big, having only recently been diagnosed with hypothyroidism. So I was growing tall and my weight was spreading out, but slowly.

One day, Jessica told Jennifer #1 that I had called her "a prostitute" in the locker room. (I maintain to this day that I did not - what 7th grader ever uses that kind of terminology?) No matter...I was ousted and spent months crying at home and sucking in my stomach as the Js' piercing glares threatened to, I believed at that time, render me terminally uncool and possibly lifeless.

Today, I am much prettier and taller and more successful than any of them, so I think it all evened out in the end. (Note: Sarcasm).

But still, what an awful experience that was.

How about you? Did any of you go through similarly heart-crushing clique attacks? Where they ever based on weight? Let me play armchair therapist - spill your guts. It's therapeutic, like going on Maury and parading around in front of your unrequited high school football captain crush to show him how hot/buff/smart you are today. Tell Dr. Goldman, "How did that clique make you feel?"

Comments

O god i went to a private jewish school my whole life, pre school-12th grade(ultra reform though). I was a "floater" not part of any "clique" but not a total loner. We didn't have jennifers, but we had Amandas (or amanda, Mandy, etc...). They made everyone feel like crap because they gossiped about everyone to make themselves feel better. I knew they had their own problems (parents getting divorced, etc)but that didn't justify being nasty. That was elementary school though, i went to the most expensive school in Los Angeles (i was on scholorship so i didn't pay full tuition) so it it was like a big fashion show. I wasn't very "in" because i couldn't afford a birkin. Sadly, i dont think i've really come that far (as in, i am not prettier, buffer, smarter etc) to outsmart them in a maury type situation, but i i can make a hollandaise, without calling the maid.

I moved to a new school just before 6th grade, and was immediately part of the cool girl clique (Nicole, Rachel & Heather). That lasted for about 2 months, and then Nicole told Rachel & Heather that I'd been calling them stupid sluts in the bathroom (which, of course, I haven't - I knew they were cool and was grateful for their friendship). After that, I was no longer cool. By high school, we'd all gotten over it, but 6th grade (and 7th) were the two worst years of my life.

I don't think that my weight had anything to do with it, though. I think it was my brains (I was a smarty pants, and didn't know how to hide it). However, I'm the one that got out of the area and wasn't married by age 20 - so I feel that I won. :)

I was a floater, too, but I didn't fit in with the "cool kids" ever. They discriminated against me not because of my weight, but probably because I had orange hair (dyed), a tongue ring, and listened to punk and heavy metal. Also, I was smarter and on student council and teachers loved me and that sort of stuff.

Most of them dropped out of college and became drunks or druggies while I'm almost finished with my PhD. I know it's wrong, but I kinda feel like I won in the end.

In junior high I suffered some pretty severe bullying after I was kicked out of the "cool girls" group, but that was mostly because I'd lived overseas and had come back in the middle of junior high after cliques had already been formed (and they did NOT want any new members). I've been pretty lucky because weight and food hasn't really dominated the schools that I attended.

At the core of my class were the popular girls: the skinny, pretty girls whose bangs always did the perfect poof and who always had trendy jeans. I was the nerdy girl with the mop of naturally curly hair and size Husky JCPenny jeans.

In junior high, one of the girls asked to borrow my red Zena jeans--so absolutely hideous now, so absolutely *the* hot fashion item then. I knew that I was twice the size of all the girls. But I stilled loaned them to her. And then walked into the locker room just as she was showing everyone how she could fit into one of the legs. I was devastated.

I don’t know if I never made it into the group because I was fat or if I realized I didn’t fit in this group. By high school, I was content being me, the academic rockstar rather than part of that group. And I think I turned out to be a pretty cool chick with friends who are there for me whether or not my gynormous calves can fit into the latest skinny jeans!

(But I still cringe when I hear the words Zena jeans.)

Oh, Rebecca, that is a heartbreaking story. I feel like I was right there with you, walking into that locker room. I hope she somehow reads this and sends you a big check to cover new jeans and a few therapy sessions.

Isn't it interesting how we remember the names of these girls? Amanda, Nicole, etc. And Hungry Waif, Hebrew school was sheer and absolute torture for me. Though Fred Savage was in my class, so that was a fun little touch of fame. Too bad he and his friends through pencils at my head :-(

I've been reading a bit about that Club 21 nonsense as it's all over the news here in Oz. You're right in that membership requires you to be skinny and pretty, but I believe their rankings are also based on their 'popularity' with boys as the articles phrase it.

I went to a private girls school in Sydney but I didn't get to see that side of things, I think I was pretty lucky. I wasn't in the 'cool gang' but those girls were pretty much hated and excluded by the other 200 girls in the grade so they didn't really have any power in the school, they'd just bicker amongst themselves. There was a bit of bullying but not too much which is pretty surprising for a girls school!

I like the part of the article where the principal says that this is "the most tribal group of girls" he's ever come across and that it is definitely "facilitated by the technology." As a high school teacher I couldn't agree more!!

And, suprising no one, I was mostly a pariah in middle & high schools. As a rebellion against not being accepted by the cool kids, I went Goth. And then I took early graduation at 16 and went to college - a much better environment socially! I still cringe when i think about Middle School. The cool kids used to hawk loogies (spit) into my hair - and it would totally stick in my big ol' 80's bangs and occassionally splatter across my big ol' plastic 80's glasses. Good times.

Cristen Gerl&%^% and Angie She%^*( told me I had cellulite on my legs in 7th grade. The most heartbreaking part-I had to go home and ask my mom what that was. Man,if I ever do have kids I hope they are boys!!!

Fortunately I had the same core group of 5 friends from Elementary to High School. My Mom made us live by the Golden Rule, but if someone wanted to start some mess they learned very quickly not to do it again.

I have a completely different experience. I was always popular, had lots of friends, boyfriends, took advanced placement classes, was a state athlete, etc. but I had a secret, debiliating eating disorder, that I think was fueled by having to keep up this image. I, and my friends, were the kind of popular where we just had a lot of friends, we didnt force this perception on anyone by scaring them into submission. I had to stay perfect, not because i would lose my friends or for other people, but because I thought I had to. it was an image that i put onto myself. It just shows that even that cool kids arent exempt.

Also, that 21 club makes me want to vomit.

Leslie, Fred Savage was throwing pencils at you AND he got his buddies to join in? He was TOTALLY crushing on you!!!!

I was lucky, I had a core group of friends AND was able to avoid most of the bullying. The popular girls were skinny, but they also woke up extra early to get their hair up to the required height for popularity in the 80's. And I just didn't see the need to wake up that early.

But, and here's the really sad part, they ALL downplayed their intelligence in exchange for popularity. I remember one girl in particular, who was known foe her inane giggle and seeming stupidity, had a short story published in the local paper, and it was SO GOOD! And her grades, were decent, though not as good as they would have been if she'd ditched the dumb act.

I'm not sure where she is today, but I hope she's happy and not hiding her intelligence anymore.

What's interesting about that Club 21 story is that the school & parents are telling people to stop being so hard on those girls because apparently the "world" is coming down on them like a tons of bricks. Not to be a mean ass, but this is called "what you put out is what you get back." And these girls are getting to experience some of the pain they have inflicted on others but to an nth degree. What you reap is what you sow. I really believe this & anyone who is a bully or inflicts pain on others for their amusement will one day be on the receiving end themselves.

But looking at 1,000ft, how is this Club 21 ranking system any different than these "Top Hottest Girls" lists that mags like FHM & Maxim put out. Women are constantly ranked by looks, hottness, and desirability because there is a reward system for being the prettiest and most popular. It's really sick and sad, but these kids are learning these things from somewhere and look at the examples and role models they are bombarded with. Not many positive.

Wow, i had no idea Fred Savage was Jewish, let alone crushing on you (although thats not suprising :). I did have the heirs of the Guess empire at my school, they were called the Marcianos (thats the last name of the head designer). They NEVER wore guess, as if that was too cheap to actaully wear. They were all models in the campaigns, i still want to vomit everytime i pass by a guess jeans store. In Kindergarten, Steven Speilberg's kid was in my class, i never saw steven though, on the "handlers". Anyhow, I agree with Steph about this nonsense and how its really similar to the ridiculous FHM lists. did you know they had an "unsexy" list?! and #1 was Sarah Jessica Parker!

Stephanie, that is a GREAT point!

Coincidentally, I've been writing about appearance-based girl bullying all week, but hadn't heard about Club 21. In a word, ugh.

I've got a 12-year-old, so right now, I'm immersed in pre-teen culture and tribal behavior. It's not pretty. It's amazing to watch what young girls will do to wield power -- and maintain it -- over other girls. Now that boys are getting into the picture, as in, the girls are "competing" for boys, it's getting worse.

We do lots and lots of talking about this stuff around here.

Wow. That is one of the most sickening things I have heard in a long time.

I was really lucky growing up. I never had to deal with any cliques, really, and even when there were distinctive "groups" forming they were never exclusive and NEVER made anything about being skinny, or even pretty for that matter.

Looking at girls these days often makes me uncomfortable. To think that girls in elementary, or even middle, school are wearing mini skirts and showing off their bellies, going on diets, thinking about what sexual acts they will perform...I wont go on, you get the point. It makes me sick! I'm young, too, at only 22, and I did NOT participate in that kind of stuff because it really was not around the way it is today.

I'm glad my child is a boy, I'll say that much. Sure, boys face some terrible things growing up, like being fast and strong, and also not fat, but it is nothing compared to what girls face.

Club 21 is just the junior version of Hollywood's Hottest lists?? Stephanie - you rock! Great point.

late to the soirée and of the irony after my post yesterday.

I swear I go to the mall now to watch the tween girls and pray for my daughter's future.
it's terrifying but all you (one) can do is work to change it I guess.

GREAT POST. as always.

That's some crazy stuff right there. I didn't have to deal with that crap because I was home-school for most of my pre-college days (except for the first two and last two years, oddly enough!). And my high school was in a rural area, too, so it wasn't all crazy like some of this big-city schools. I think I was lucky I didn't have to deal with all that ...

I have the hardest time convincing my American friends that high school was nothing like this when I was growing up in India. Cliques? Snobbishness and exclusivity? Unthinkable. Not just in my school, but high schools in general. All these stories of high school in Western societies (not to mention Hollywood high school movies)really makes me wonder why this strange pathological sub-culture persists. The social psychology sounds more like that of a bunch of prisoners in a prison yard
than a group of children being educated.