The Chick or the Egg(head)
When the Today Show approached me about appearing on a segment to debate the question, "If you had to choose, would you rather be forty pounds overweight and smart OR skinny, but stupid?" I leapt at the chance. Not because it’s necessarily an easy one to answer (though for some it certainly is), but because look at what it says about the sad state of our society – that this even needs to be debated.
The pressure women feel to be slim is so intense that a good deal of us are saying, “Sure, I’ll give up my brains for tinier hips.” It’s insanity. But it’s merely a reflection of society. Women would rather go to the dentist than change in a communal dressing room. One study recently cited in the New York Times asked a group of previously obese people, “Would you rather be fat or blind?” A stunning 89% answered “blind.” As in – can never see again.
Ninety-one percent of the group chose having a leg amputated over a return to their previous overweight status. Being overweight in our society is so feared, so vilified, that people would rather lose their ability to see the scale – and the entire world around it – than face a too-high number.
Surveys repeatedly show that most women would trade nearly anything – brains, wealth, a pretty face – for being thin. I’ve seen surveys where as much as 94% of women say they place a higher priority on having a smaller waist than on their intelligence. These type of statistics show just how intense the societal stigma against overweight people is.
As many of you may recall, I recently wrote about the topic on the Weighting Game when I blogged about a self-described overweight woman who was so sick of being stared at and avoided on the bus, she made up a fake book called “How Sitting Next to a Fat Person can Make You Fat” and rode around with it. I was inundated with hundreds of comments— many of them were extremely angry, abusive and showed how much hatred exists.
Interestingly enough, the results of our iVillage poll of more than 1000 women were split 70/30, with more women saying they would rather be overweight and smart. These numbers go against the convention belief that skinny = better. I’m thinking this has to do with the fact that many women who come to iVillage are health-savvy and intelligent (and I’m not just saying that because they read my blog! :) ) The demographic of women skews older as well, and as some of the posts here show, as women mature, our priorities begin to shift and evolve and quite often, looks become less important and what our bodies can do (give birth, fight cancer, run marathons) is what counts. I found this was the case when interviewing older women in their 60s, 70s and 80s for my book, Locker Room Diaries.
As for me, I would never ever in a million years give up my brains for – well, for anything really. My smarts are what’s gotten me where I am today. How could I be a successful writer, how could I have picked the kindest, most giving husband, how could I have done anything without my intelligence? Of course looks matter no matter how much we wish they didn’t, but as long as you love yourself and are healthy inside and out (the quiz question doesn’t indicate whether the 40 pounds of weight gain would lead to health problems but just as there are unhealthy overweight people, there are superfit ones, too), you are simply worth too much to sacrifice brains for brawn.
P.S. This survey sparked a lot of conversation and thoughtful comments when I first posted it. You can read them here.
Comments
Thought-provoking post, Leslie. Whether weight matters is a question I've given a lot of thought to recently. I wrote Shape magazine's Weight Loss Diary column last year and I lost 26 pounds. I can tell you honestly that I'm the exact same person inside. Physically, I have more energy, I feel better and I wear a smaller size. Does any of that matter? It does in the sense that a lower weight is healthier for me at my height. But worth trading my brains for? No way.
A lot of sweat and tears (there wasn't much bleeding ;-)) went into losing that weight, so what I'm most proud of is the dedication I showed to myself in my efforts to lose it. With that said, weighing less doesn't make me smarter, nicer, more pleasant, a better writer, a better mother, a better wife or a better friend. Taking good care of myself through healthy eating and exercise, however, has been well worth the effort and it's an effort I'll continue to make -- not for the sake of a number on the scale, but for the sake of my health and wellness.
It sure is an interesting question, and I'm with you that it's incredibly interesting as to what it says about society. The stats that you've looked at, have they polled various people to determine which response wins the majority from different groups of people? I'd like to know how age, social class, professions, geographical location etc plays into this and how those characteristics affect the answers.
I think that it also depends on what you mean by "stupid". You can technically change either, you can lose weight and/or get yourself educated.
Women wanting to be thin and beautiful over being intelligent reminds me of a Gloria Steinem quote "Women's bodies are valued as ornaments. Men's bodies are valued as instruments."
it is also the almost clintonesque "what the definition of looks is (are :))"
in that my look is SURELY not everyone's cup of tee (you should see me on the streets, L. OTK socks and all) but it is my HUSBANDS and *MY* cup so that's all that matters up in herre.
you cant NOT be attractive if you are comfortable in your own skin and (& this is my goal with my daughter/her forced tagline :)) UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOURSELF.
M.
Wonder what the polls would be if you had to choose between being 40lbs overweight and a millionaire or skinny but broke. Would it be the same breakdown or different?
Stephanie - check out this video to answer your question http://allday.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/01/28/614668.aspx
Sagan, you bring up an excellent point re age/SES/job/location. Thinking like a public health pro!
V, I may need to steal that quote for the Today Show tomorrow. Excellent. Thanks!
I dont really like this question very much. With weight being such a huge issue in America is it really neccessary to talk about being over weight like it is something that happens to you? its not really an, "ah, well, but atleast i'm smart" kind of thing. Just get moving. then you can be smart and healthy (not skinny) and have it all, because you can.
"walk in on your parents or have them walk in on you" - lol! I've never thought about that one before & now, thanks to you, can't get it out of my head. Ewww!
BTW, I'm STILL traumatized by how your comments when to hell in a handbasket that day you blogged about the woman on the bus. And I'm not even overweight! You are right about the people here being a better crowd (though older?? I'm not even 30 yet Leslie, you gotta bet calling me "older" already??) than what one usually finds on the Internet. If only the world were such a safe place then we wouldn't be bothered with questions like whether it is worse to be fat or blind. (PS> Did any blind people chime in?)
Good luck tomorrow - you'll be fab! And don't forget to post the link here:)
PS> Can I just say that I find these types of questions & particularly the answers that show how our society defines fat as a fate worse than anything else - incredibly triggering.
After reading this post, I mentally decided to do a mini-fast today since I was up a half pound yesterday. And then I smacked myself. I'm totally going to eat today. But the people-pleaser part of me totally wants to go to ED'ville.
Not saying it is your fault, just wondering if reading this stuff is hard for anyone else?
Seriously after the Fat Woman on the Bus post I had to fight the ED thoughts for days. It's so depressing to think that society would rather I be dead than fat.
Sorry for the double post - you guys are like my therapy!!
I'm watching you on on Today right now, actually. It's kind of scary that I don't know which I would choose. I feel stupid for thinking that. It seems like the answer should be obvious but apparently it's not.
I agree with Dara. You don't have to be smart to be skinny. One lady in the video said that if she chose smart and fat then she would be smart enough to lose the weight. That is a dumb answer. Fat people are not dumb. Their bodies have nothing to do with their intelligence.
You know, there's a lot said about being the same person inside if you're fat or thin. I have to be devil's advocate here because I am honestly not the same person inside now, that I was 48 pounds ago. I'm way better.
But that's not because getting thinner made me happy, or strong, or confident, or alive, or aware, or...anything, really. It was the other way around. Finally learning that I was worth caring for...worth doing the right things and putting in the work and the time - that's what made me thin(ner). But FIRST it made me a better, happier person.
Which just reinforces the fact that I'd choose A. If I were thin but dumb I'd still be the same person inside that I was - and I was miserable. Thin does not equal happy. Fat does not equal unhappy. Sometimes, unhappy might lead to fat - but that's not the same thing at all. People who would rather be thin because they'd be happy...I think may have it a bit backwards. But that's just me.
V.
(might we have the Who'd Ya Rather Be PARIS or NICOLE question next? For some levity? we can fight it out over brunette, blond or mightcould we get extensions after we make our choice!
have a great day! cant wait for more today show stories....)
I like Valerie's comments about whether we are the same person after losing weight. I don't know if anyone here watches The Biggest Loser, but this week Jay said something really interesting, "I can't say the Biggest Loser gave me my life back, because I didn't have a life before. So it just gave me a life." Obviously he doesn't think he's the same person as before.
Also, I LOVE how Kelly put it: being overweight isn't something that just happens to you. If you don't like your weight, get moving and watch calories.
(I know, I know, there's a small percentage of people who can't lose weight due to conditions out of their control. But the majority of overweight Americans could lose weight if they made that choice.)
I think Leslie Goldman is great! I want to get my hands on that book ASAP!
I found it interesting that there seems to be such shock about previously overweight people being willing to lose a limb or sight not to go back to that weight and the fact that it doesn't seem to jibe with the results of the polls taken on Today and here on your site. I would guess that those previously overweight people were more than 40lbs overweight. i think that if the question was 100lbs or even 80lbs overweight instead of 40 it would net very different results. it would be interesting to see that result or know just how much weight the previously overweight people had lost on average.
Just want to clarify that i think it is crazy that people would chose blindness over obesity but i think that there must be some critical weight over which your lifestyle is hurt. the amount of discrimination is more extreme the more overweight someone is and the discomfort level must be as well. i am 20 overweight and would choose 40 overweight over blindness or dumbness or losing a limb but if you asked me if i would be 260 or dumb, well, at that point it seems like a little dumb would be the easier route. especially considering how hateful people can be, as proven by the comments from the post about the bus rider.
A) you look beautiful and smart!
and B) hahaha! rather go to jail than be overweight?! it's ironic, you'd give up your freedom to not be free (in a diet jail). totally nuts. rather be blind? you can't even see yourself! nuts.
i wonder with some of those studies specifically with those who would rather lose a limb than go back to being overweight, perhaps it's also an issue of control, which our society also has an obsession with. it's so incredible that people would give up a limb!
wow, you really did a fantastic job!
Weight issues are rampant everywhere and fat people are treated with disgust but the most surprising thing is that a fat person is treated with disgust by other fat people also. When I was 30 lbs overweight, I was continuously ridiculed in office, at home and by some of my friends also. Now that I am thin, it has opened many doors. People look at me and treat me differently. I am the same person inside as before but it is other's outlook towards me that has changed.
When I was fat I was not unhappy but the way others treated me as if I was an outcast made me unhappy. Even now I am not any happier for losing weight. My work and life is not affected other than me having more energy. But I feel happy because I am treated with more respect. And that is just because I look more attractive now.
What we give out to the world does not make us happy/unhappy. what we get back is what determines the end result. You might put in a lot of effort into something but unless you achieve it you wont feel happy.
The fear of fat isn't unfounded. Being fat is unhealthy, but guess what? So is being a vacuous bimbo who doesn't know how to balance his/her chequebook. I choose neither. Being an intellectual is hard enough, if you think too much you become jaded and depressed (especially if you spend 20 years of your life trying to prove the Riemann conjecture) and if you're fat, you have that to contend with as well. If you're stupid, life is good and simple but then people will constantly be taking advantage of you and being ripped off constantly would make being skinny not worth it.
Why not just like who you are? If you're fat, exercise. If you're dumb, play sudoku.
To some degree, you have to choose both or neither. Neurologically, the activities that contribute to a healthy weight - eating healthy and exercising - make measurable improvements in cognition.
On the other hand, activities that make you fat - saturated fat and being a couch potato - decrease circulation in the brain. That decreased supply of nutrients the brain needs makes your cognition decline at a faster pace as you age.
So things that make you fat will also make you less smart. Of course, there are still smart fat people, but they're not as smart as they could otherwise be.
Its easier to say you;d rather be fat than be dumb but until you have lived in Middle east then you might change your mind people in these parts think being fat is being stupid and that if you are fat/you are lazy I tend to disagree am 74 kgs and very smart. even empoyers in these part of the country have that immature 1920' notion .......
Its easier to say you;d rather be fat than be dumb but until you have lived in Middle east then you might change your mind people in these parts think being fat is being stupid and that if you are fat/you are lazy I tend to disagree am 74 kgs and very smart. even empoyers in these part of the country have that immature 1920' notion .......
Article´s point is to show the fear people have to be fat. But the topic questions simply don´t play because fat people are visibly the ones, who are not caring about themselves!
Similar to greasy hair, body odour and dirty shoes obesity tells everybody around that the obese person is not even in control above his or hers food intake.
History will view our obsession with being thin much the same way we view foot binding. It's mysogyny at it's worst. Women need to take control of their lives and not allow themselves to be treated poorly, no matter what their size.
For me, I would choose the thinness not because of my vanity or self-consciousness. Health is extraordinarily important to me. If I were 40 pounds overweight, it's true that I might have more stimulating conversation, I'll also almost certainly die sooner and suffer health problems til that day. Stupid people can often A. be educated because stupid is often just a synonym for ignorant, and B. enjoy themselves just fine with their particular world view. Similarly with the blindness survey: would you rather be fat or blind? I would choose blind because blind people learn to appreciate beauty in the world from their own perspective, with the other senses enhancing to make up the difference. True, I wouldn't be able to see flowers, but I'd live longer to smell them.
Nobody loves to be fat? It's something we get onto because we put our children our husband,our work everything above our own health.their wellbeing forms our top priority. only a women can relate to this fact.Men look at this differently.for them we are calous.It's like you want to go for your walk and it's time to drop kids to school.wish to hit the gym..time for your honey to get back home."I hate to come back to nobody" is a remark we face most often than not.
very good and most useful
