Tag - it's not just a prepubescent body spray!

Tag ain't just for preschoolers anymore! Fellow Chicago blogger Jenn of Eating Bender recently tagged me, asking/demanding that I share five facts about myself. Well, y'all already know a LOT about me - like the fact that I speak my mind, that I have cankles, and that I'm an awful klutz. But there's so much more fun to be had! And since I just so happen to lovelovelove talking about myself, here's some more:

1) For about two years, from 1999-2001, I spent a significant amount of time dressed like the biggest whore you've ever seen, dancing on top of huge blocks in Chicago's clubs. Postage stamp-sized skirt? Check. Sparkly bra for a top? Check. Candy necklace and knee high boots and whistle? Checkity check check check. And I loved every sweaty minute of it. Until...

2) I am a hypochondriacal to the point where, in my 20s, I convinced myself - very, very truly - that I had Parkinson's Disease and was dying, when really what I was suffering from was incredible anxiety. No joke - I left grad school for a week to go home and recuperate-slash-demand my doctor perform a series of neurological exams to prove my shaking was not neurological in nature. This all was a result of a gigantic sweet cracker sandwich full of crap I was going through at the time in my personal life and relationship. Part of my hypochondira has to do with being raised in a crazed Jewish household where a sore throat meant esophageal cancer. But I'm also a Nervous Nellie Furtado by nature. Any I'm Jewish - did I mention that?

3) I truly enjoy watching surgeries on TV (be it The Learning Channel or Dr. 90210) - I can watch anything, anytime, anywhere. Breast augmentation during breakfast? Put it on! Emotional kidney transplant between father and dying son? I can take it. Nine-pound hairball absorbed twin tumor with eyes and teeth in it about to removed from a woman's stomach? Pass the popcorn, please. About the only thing I cannot stomach are those Fear Factor shows where they eat pig's vaginas and horrid stunts like that. I'll puke in a heartbeat.

(As an aside, and at the risk of embarrassing myself horribly, I must share the following experience from last weekend: I was walking in the sun and reached into my pocket to grab my lip balm [Bonne Bell LipSmackers cotton candy]. I felt something else rolling around in there and pulled out what can only be described as some sort of archeological dig-like product of my psyche. I stared at the thing, not having any clue what it was...until I did: A melted Hershey's Kiss which had rehardened around a half-pill of Luvox [the SSRI I recently stopped taking after over a decade]. And? There was a fake nail from God-knows-where embedded in the thing. Chocolate, antidepressant, artificial beauty product. It was one of the greatest moments of my life.)

4) I will spend $180 on a pair of jeans that are super long and make my butt look good, but will spend 30 precious minutes of my day shlepping to Borders to return a book I bought the week before, now that I have a 20% off coupon. I will return it and re-purchase it, all to save a dollar. It's idiotic.

5) Dan and I met on our first day of college in 1994 - we were the closest of best guy-girl friends. He loved me the whole time and honestly, I got that, but was too afraid/convinced myself I couldn't go *there,* plus I had this huge canister of wild oats I still needed to sow (see #2). I constantly protested too much, saying we would never work as anything more than buddies. He waited patiently while I dated two other men for three years each (both truly great guys), himself barely straying. All of these are facts you might not yet know, but here's the one I wanted to put out there: I always knew. In my heart, I always knew Dan was The One. He basically waited eight years for me and the instant we finally kissed, my instinct was confirmed - this was, and always would be, the man for me. It just took me nearly a decade to admit it.

PS I know a lot of you requested a biofeedback post (it is, quite literally, saving my life. Yes, I mean literally and not figuratively). However, I just wrote something on it for Health Magazine so out of respect for them and the assignment, I am going to wait until that runs (soon, I hope!) and then I can feel free to explode all over my blog.

Comments

Wow - great post! Everyone in my family calls me a hypochondriac - in fact, just last week I was visiting home and found a mysterious red bump on my stomach (not a zit, I swear!) and immediately looked online for signs of MRSA.

That melted pocket combo has to be one of the greatest of all time. And I'm really excited to read about the biofeedback.

O
M
G

I think I love you.

I have to say this is the best post I've ever read in the "5 things about me" or "20 things about me" genre, and I've read a lot of them.

From the stuff I could totally relate to (I'm a big ol' hypchodriac) to the things that are so NOT me (postage stamp-sized skirt and sparkly bra-top) I enjoyed every one of them. Hilarious and real. And the last one about Dan was just too sweeet! Made my day.

And I'm really looking forward to the Health article too.

i'm with MizFit - will you marry me?

LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!

We ARE SOUL SISTAS!

Re #1, my hoochie years were during EXACTLY the same time. I still have a tiny faux-snakeskin miniskirt that I occasionally try on when my husband's not home.

Leslie you are too cute! And don't you just love those men who stand by and wait patiently? I hope we can all be so lucky in life. My husband told me the 1st month we were dating that he was going to marry me and I was like "okay, weirdo." Here we are 7 years later and happier than ever! And I totally agree with you about #4 - at 5'10 I know the value of a great pair of pants!

Wow, I feel like I just stumbled in to the best slumber party ever! Now that we've finished the "truth" portion of the evening, it's time for the "dares." You still have those sparkly bra tops, Leslie??

OK, can I join the harem? 'Cause I want to marry you, too!
Jewish? Check. (OK, half.)
Hypochondriac? Yup!
Find odd things in my pocket? Oh ,yeah. (Once pulled out a maxi pad in mixed company.)
Need extra-long pants? Fer Shur!

Dressing like a hoochie-mama in my 20's? I used to do the floor show of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." (Janet on Fridays, Magenta on Saturdays, in Harvard Square.)

But I will never be as cool as you. Ah well. Something to aspire to!

Ok. {raises hand} Hypochondriac here. Don't think Jewish households have the market cornered on this one. We Catholics breed 'em too ;)

Good to get to know you more. The post about the melted, re-hardened chocolate concoction made me laugh. :)

#3-Yep, that's me! Spaghetti with meat sauce while watching surgery on TV... good times. :)

Number One is definitely the best! (Do we get to see any pictures?!)

Leslie, it might be a jew thing...but i have always thought i had it the worst case scenario with diseases and such. It i had a toothache, i was SURE i had a cavity. my head hurts, tumor, beauty mark, skin cancer etc... i also feel like a walking time bomb because me mother AND grandmother both had breast cancer and it took both their lives. Plus, my mother got it before menopause some i am more likely to getit. its a terrible habit, believe me i am better about it now, but my therapists and i struggled with this a lot.
About the chocolate, its funny, we learned about it in my advanced baking class a lot about chocolate and now i know why my caldbury's has little streaks after i hoard it into my backpack when i go to Lonodn! Those streaks actually have a name (not a bery nice one), its called a fat bloom! Pastry chefs call it a fat bloom when the cocoa butter separates from the cocoa itself and the chocolate isn't tempered proper. sorry to get all scientific...

OMG...LMAO...I'd totally have picked off the fingernail and swallowed the thing whole. :-) Cause, you know, that's got to be the perfect food. (Okay, I wouldn't really, but I'd have given it serious thought.)

Can't wait to hear your thoughts on biofeedback. I did it for a while when I first started having panic attacks and found it absolutely AMAZING.

V.

Sparkly bras??? I would like to see photographic evidence on this brilliant monstrosity! Sounds fab.

I am also a huge hypochondriac as well - it's very time consuming!

I'm totally with you on forking out the dosh for long jeans - totally worth the effort. I hate how expensive jeans for you Americans is $180, whereas us Aussies can pay up to $400 for the same brands (pants to that!).

i am more likely to getit. its a terrible habit, believe me i am better about it now, but my therapists and i struggled with this a lot.