Take your job and shove it where the lipo don't shine

Picture this: Winter of 1992, I am a sophomore in high school, riding shotgun as my mom drives me to the mall to apply for a position at the Gap. I was too young to commandeer the wheel myself (yet old enough to be beyond-embarrassed by our wood-paneled minivan) but I had a permit to work at 15 and was ready to start selling some preppy V-neck cardigans.

As we neared the mall, my mom asked me if I thought I should take my ear cuff off. Might the Powers That Be at the Gap find my ear bling too alternative?

I flipped open the visor mirror, looked at the $5 hammered silver cuff from Claire's Boutique, and decided yes, perhaps it was a bit too "out there" for such a mainstream store (the fact that this ear cuff was the most alternative thing about me speaks volumes about the trouble I would later get myself into as a rebellious 22-year-old.

I took the cuff off, got the job, and then quit a month later because a) I was horrified about being forced to wear a turquoise tie with little giftboxes all over it and b) this gig was seriously cutting into my makeout time with school badass Bobby "My license plate says AWESOME" Banderton.

My one-month career at the Gap is now a distant memory but I'll never forget the shame and anger I later felt towards myself for taking off that ear cuff. Why did I need to conform to society's standards? (Ooh - foreshadowing for the kind of woman I would grow into!) And why would I even want to work for a company that cares about my choice in jewelry? (Note: In retrospect, I don't think they would have even noticed.)

I wish I could say that was the last time I sacrificed my self-image to get a job but then there was the cocktailing gig in grad school were I wore a tiny top the size of a Ziplock bag and black latex (yes) pants to my interview, netting a job offer to serve alcohol without so much as a request to see proof of age.

And just yesterday, my newly pregnant friend R. had a job interview and found herself wearing a flowy top and stretchy black pants in an attempt to conceal her bump. Who's gonna hire someone they'll have to send off on maternity leave in seven months?

I've been thinking about all of this ever since I read an article in the Chicago Tribune's Red Eye a few days ago about people getting Botox to look younger and, theoretically, up their odds of landing a job:

"As Janine Seck searched for a new job last summer, she couldn't help but feel she was off her game.

Though her resume boasted 15 years of retail management experience, the 42-year-old felt she looked tired and not as fresh as the bouncy twentysomethings vying for the same positions. Despite a new haircut and updated wardrobe, Seck sensed her interviewers were as conscious of her aging face as she was.

'You could kind of tell with those cute questions, like asking when I graduated from college,' said Seck, of Old Town. 'They were trying to figure out how old I was.'

After eight unsuccessful interviews, Seck last August did what she had previously only associated with Hollywood vanity: She got Botox injections in her forehead and around her eyes to smooth the lines and wrinkles she felt made her look weary.

Six interviews later, she got a job with an outside recruiting firm—and she credits Botox with helping to get her groove back.

'After the Botox, I marched into the interviews with much more confidence,' she said. 'I guess I wasn't afraid to smile as much.'"

If shooting a paralyzing toxin into your face in order to secure a job isn't enough to convince you the world has gone to hell in a knockoff Louis Vuitton, how about this: Opera singe Deborah Voigt was let go from a production in London's Royal Opera House four years ago...because she was "too big" for the black dress she was supposed to wear.

*CoughFreakingBullCrapCough*

So what did Deborah do to lose the 100 pounds she "needed" to drop in order to sing well (even writing that makes me dizzy with confusion)? When Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig didn't work, she got gastric bypass surgery. And then she got her job back.

This is so un-Barbra Streisand, I can't even believe it.

In the press, Deborah claimed that she was not forced to get her stomach permanently, surgically reduced; she did it "because I wasn't feeling well, because my knees were hurting, because I would cross the street and feel as though I wasn't going to be able to catch my breath." This may be, but it seems her move to surgery eerily coincided with her job loss.

And this quote from the former fat lady kind of breaks my heart:

"I am able to play the pretty girl parts with much more conviction, and that's really something that is very satisfying."

Have you ever altered your appearance in order to get a job? Dressed a certain way (I don't mean put on a suit for corporate America - I mean presented yourself in a false light to up your odds). Cut your hair? Covered up a tattoo? Or what about something more hardcore, like Botox (any actresses reading this)? Is this just a continuation of the pressure we all face to appear a certain way? Ashlee Simpson, are you out there???

Comments

No. Nononono. No. :-)

I do think we should try to meet whatever the basic standards of professional appearance are for the job. Neither booty shorts or a halter top are not appropriate, for example, for the law office where I work. :-) That's basic professionalism. Changing your personal appearance by drastic means or really trying to look like someone you aren't is just sad.

Not nearly as sad, though, as the fact that the 42-year-old professional woman's confidence seems to be seated firmly in her appearance. Where is her pride in her achievements? In her abilities and skills and expertise? My heart breaks for her that she's reached 42 and still thinks her worth hinges on how she looks - and it has to be young, not just well-groomed and sophisticated. Very sad.

V.

You, know the story of Deborah does break my heart too. It is healthier for her to lose the weight, but the reason why she had to do it does not seem to be one of trying to reach health... Plus, I am a singer too, and that makes me a little mad at the Opera company...

As for me, I have a (big) tattoo that has been done in order to be covered with most outfits, because I do know that companies judge you on your appearance...

Im constantly judged for being TOO YOUNG. People dismiss me a lot as the young girl, but when they find out i actually know my shit, always give me the, 'wow you really know a lot for being so young" or "you are so mature for your age". screw that. im smart. i know my shit.

thats why i like writing, because im judged on the merit of my words. once people see my baby face, i feel like they dont think they can trust my information so much.

also, i always wondered how humiliating it is for actresses that are cast in shows as the fat girl everyone makes fun of, or the ugly one that people pick on. they must either have super high selfesteem to subject themselves to that, or are gluttons for public ridicule.

also, the fat people they show when news stations do stories on obesity. i know they dont show their faces, but do they ask for permission or do these people watch tv and think OMG THOSE ARE MY PANTS. THATS ME!

www.groundedfitness.com

Jesus, I can't imagine doing anything that drastic for a job. The farthest I've gone is to wear dress pants for being a receptionist and not wear anything too low-cut as a nanny- neither of which I had an issue with anyways. Like Valerie says, thats just professionalism.

Its terrifying, that people will make that huge of changes for a career.

I have two tattoos, and I purposely got them in places that are covered by clothes. I honestly don't feel like that makes me a some kind of weak conformist. I am a complex person and the tattoos are one side of me, but wanting to come across as professional is also a side of me. It's not about people pleasing, it's about being true to myself and frankly even though I have tattoos, I am more on the conservative side. I work in the public schools where plenty of people have visible tattoos, so it would not be an issue for my job, but I like to have my tattoos as my secret. Having said that, while I would never get plastic surgery or anything that drastic for a job, I am not going to pass judgement on people who do. If botox makes someone feel more confident in a job interview, then more power to her. With Janine Seck, if she was that preoccupied with her age, it probably made her come across as less self-confident during the interviews and THAT could be why she didn't get hired instead of the actual lines.

I was recently in the market for a new job and even being able to sell 30 years of administrative experience I still made sure to cover all 6 of my tattoos. Long sleeves, black tights (in the spring) and strategic watch placement went a long way. Let their sterotypes be dashed AFTER I'm on the job. And they have. My new employer loves me, tattoos and all but would I have received an offer if they showed? Methinks not. Sometimes you just have to conform . . .

I wear 3/4 sleeves, a cardigan, or a jacket every day - even in the summer, to hide my tattoo that I show with pride everywhere else - but that's just professionalism. No one at the hospital needs to see my pirate/poet skull :) I was once told that if I didn't start wearing make-up, I would never be taken seriously....I quit. :)

I wholeheartedly agree with Kim; we are all complex creatures with many sides to us, When I worked in an office I dressed very conservatively, but brought my Harry Potter books to read during my lunch breaks, and ALL my co-workers wanted to know what happened in the books because they didn't have time to read them ,lol!

And speaking as a former actress, I can say that, while I never considered plastic surgery (my feeling is, if you're gonna cut me open, it'd better be for a damn good, life-saving reason), I did try to exercise and starve myself back to my pre-baby, mid-20's, borderline-anorexic weight after having 2 kids in order to be considered attractive enough to get an audition. This is when I was 36. A mere 3 years ago, but it feels like a lifetime.
As far as actresses who are cast as the "fat" or "ugly" girl, well, it's complicated. Getting any kind of work in Hollywood is ridiculously hard. The Screen Actor's Guild, the union for film and TV actors, has a 98% unemployment rate.

Sorry this is so long, but i just want to explain. There are far more NON-union actors than union actors, which contributes to the unemployment rates. To get a role on TV or in a movie, you need an agent. An agent, if they're good, will send you on a whole bunch of auditions, most of which will be for jobs you don't get. So when you DO get a job, there is A LOT of pressure to take it. From your agent, because they want to be paid (they don't get any money from you until you work, then they get 10%), from yourself, because you want (and need) the work, and because any job can lead to other jobs. Plus, if they offer you a role and you don't accept it, you can bet that they will NEVER call you in for another audition EVER again. There are just too many other people waiting in the wings, willing to humiliate themselves if that's what it takes to get the job.

It's all about desperation, and the industry truly thrives on it. I got tired of it, and I quit. Not that anyone noticed or cared, lol!

I once worked as an assistant in a (horrible) dentist's office where the employers went into GREAT DETAIL about what our makeup should look like in order to achieve a "professional" look. My sister and I --both babyfaces-- worked there together and were constantly asked to put on more blush, more eye makeup, and please please please MORE LIPSTICK. YOU MUST LOOK GROWN-UP. That was just the tip of the iceberg of horribleness at this job, so I quit after a summer season.

But as far as making a drastic change to my appearance to get a job? For a typical job, nah. Wouldn't dream of it. If my experience, skills and personal confidence aren't enough to secure the position, I don't want it. However, for a job on TV or in a theatrical performance, i.e. singing and acting, if someone REALLY wants a certain part but knows they won't get it unless they're as slim, full-figured, long-haired, etc. as the competition, I could see making a small change to try and get that part, like losing a few pounds - but not botox!

I find it funny that the woman had 8 interviews before botox and then 6 more interviews after before she got the job. It's not like she had one interview after the procedure and "Voila! New Job!"...and yet she still credits the Botox.

I've never done anything drastic in order to get a job, because I'm pretty vanilla with clothes and looks.

However, the whole interview process is a bit like that anyway, right? I mean, I always wear a suit to my interviews...even though the places are business casual. Just like staging a house to get it sold you are making your skills/personality/etc. stand out in an interview by making your personal appearance neutral.

While I understand not compromising yourself for a job - there are some things people have to conform to. If you want to work for disney you cant have a tattoo - thats their choice, if you dont like it, dont work for disney. Also, I saw Deborah Voigt perform at her heaviest and I must say she ruined the performance. It wasnt that she was "fat" but she could barely keep up with other characters moving on the stage, and most of the time she was seated, cause you could tell she became short of breath when crossing the stage. Thus the fat interfered with her ability to perform her job well.

I think there are two separate categories:

-Dressing up (or down, in the case of the latex pants) for an interview is not selling out or being untrue to yourself, imo. That's just a basic, casual nod to reality.

-Fundamentally (even surgically?!) changing who you are is a different story entirely. That's crossing a real line.

Here's a non-sequitor: How about a woman dressing (semi-)provocatively for an interview in order to "impress" the potential boss?

Note: And I don't mean for a cocktailing job where such garb might be the norm, I mean for an interview in a professional work environment.

I've never done anything that drastic to get a job, however I have ALWAYS presented myself in the best light for an interview. That changes depending on the job. I've bartended (sexy clothes) and worked in a bank (very conservative) and believe me, the outfits I wore to either job wouldn't have worked at the other job, & definately wouldn't have landed me the job from the interview! I believe that if you are going to get in the game, you have to play by the rules to a certain extent, & dressing "appropriately" for the job/interview is part of the game.
As for Deborah and her drastic measures to shed the weight & the woman who claims Botox got her the job, both women had issues in their thinking about themselves, & assumed others were thinking the same things about them. (which may/may not be true) There are MANY fat pretty girls (I'm an ex-fat pretty girl)& MANY 40-somethings who are proud of the lines on their face, (I am in my mid 40's) who don't realize their own worth, and that is the saddest thing of all!

I think dressing appropriately and sacrificing a part of your self are two separate things entirely. We are not our clothing, despite what Marc Jacobs insists. But we ARE our bodies. At least in a physical way. So any changes made to my body better align with my true self, not someone else's image of me. Maybe that's why I want to be a writer?? ;)

While I think that gastric bypass is taking things way too far, I wanted to add a little info on the physicality of singing. While the stereotype is of the very large opera singer, classical singing is a very physical act. Your body is literally your instrument. Singing a lead role in an opera is an incredibly physically demanding job- several hours of difficult singing combined with staging, costume changes, convincing acting, etc. It's not just about getting up there to sing. A certain level of fitness is required to make it through the performance- multiple nights a week. I have a feeling that Deborah's firing probably had more to do with fitness than fatness. My voice teacher always stressed the importance of cardiovascular exercise and yoga. Not because she cared about my weight, but because cardio increases your lung capacity and yoga helps to release muscle tension which affects vocal control.

I've had issues with hair color everywhere I've worked.
My first year of college I was living with mom and didn't need a job, so I got away with beautiful bright purple and white hair. During the summer, my mom informed me that no place was going to hire me with brightly colored hair, so I dyed it to my natural color, and after I got hired at McDonalds I found that they didn't care if I dyed it again, so I got away with it.
Every job I've ever worked I've studied the handbook, finding -in print- the phrase "natural hair color" to be a must. I even worked at hot topic for a few months and found that I could finally dye my hair back to a pretty color, but was so upset with myself for thinking my personality lie in a bottle of hair dye that I never did.

Is there anything we can do about it? I don't think theres a law that says anything about it.. it seems resonable for your employer to demand a certain physical appearance out of you.. but I've always wondered if there was something I could do about i

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I speculate that the majority of people commenting here have not reached their fifties yet.

My eyes, brow and mouth have started to sag. I am constantly asked why I am angry or "upset". That perception is death to a career. I overheard a man in his thirties whisper to another man that I look scary (the sun was in my face and my wrinkles were really showing). Ouch.

Like it or not, we live in a world that dislikes and is rude to "older" people.

I decided to see what would happen if I had Botox. People were much nicer to me (I no longer looked like I was looking for a fight....did not look angry). (I can be smiling but my eyes still look angry.)

Try to go on a job interview looking angry and see if you get the job. If nobody used Botox then people would realize it's a normal part of aging. Unfortunately, it is no longer "normal" to look old and wrinkled.

I take good care of myself, use sunblock and get plenty of sleep and exercise.

Botox helps. Age discrimination is alive and well.