What a girl wants...what a guy needs?

OK, so this magazine called Fabulous from the U.K. just came out with its 2008 Fabulous Body Survey* and the major question—well, the answer to the question, really—caught my eye. Especially because this answer was splashed across three naked bodies. When asked about the "ideal" size:

Women answered Size 8 (equivalent to the U.S. size 6)
Men answered Size 12 (U.S. size 10)
The national average on that side of the pond: Size 16 (U.S. size 14)

One question that perked my little doggie ears inquired, "Which of these female celebrities have the best body?" (OK, the magazine spelled "best" wrong, but I'm just going to pretend I didn't see that.) The boys replied:

Keira Knightley = 6%
Kate Moss = 1%
Abbey Clancy = 11%
Alex Curran = 3%
Coleen McLoughlin = 4%
Giselle Bundchen = 8%
Kelly Brooke = 40%
Holly Willoughby = 6%
Mylenne Klass = 15%
Kate Winslet = 6%

Don't worry, I had no idea who the hell those women are, either. But then I looked up Miss Popular, Kelly Brooke, and found out she looks like this. Of course she does. P.S. I totes have a shiny blue bathing suit JUST LIKE THAT—I'm planning on lounging in it by the pool in Mexico this coming Thanksgiving with my husband's family.

When they asked men, "Do you wish your partner was more body confident?"
77% men said yes.
The rest are single or bastards.

Raise your hand if you've played this game with a partner...the one where you bitch and moan about a body "flaw" (For me, it's my butt, which I refuse to let Dan see head-on, lest he turn to stone. Literally, I will walk out of the shower backwards to avoid a full moon. This is my husband we're talking about here. And I am a body image expert. Shit happens.) and then he/she tells you how beautiful you are—and means it—and then you whine, "No, I'm a fat cow and there are people in Machu Picchu right now who can see my cellulite, it's so obvious." I mean, hypothetically speaking.

What if we could just erase these insipid, frustrating convos and just accept a compliment and—shock—not feel like we have to kvetch in the first place? Surveys like these, even if they are filled with spelling errors, should bolster us up. Our lovers don't want sticks. Or maybe yours does, and you happen to be long and willowy, so it's perfect. The point is, your guy or girl is attracted to you—otherwise they wouldn't constantly be trying to get you liquored up and into bed be your mate. Shake whatchya got, because chances are, it's what they want. Please don't misconstrue this as me saying we exist to please our partners or should place their views above our own. That ain't my tune, and now you don't smell what that Rock is cooking. I'm just saying, on the occasion where you feel out of touch with your bod and unhappy with your bloated belly/uneven boobs/thick thighs, think of these Fabulous men and remember that they, more likely than not, wish you were four sizes larger.

Now go eat something. You look like a twig.

*A "stone," referred to in the survey, is a unit of measurement commonly used in the U.K. that is equivalent to 14 pounds.

Comments

After I got over all the typos, my first act after reading this survey was to google Kelly Brooke. And if she's a size 12UK (8-10 US) then vanity sizing is a myth and I am a lot bigger than I thought. Seriously, girl is like a 2. But with huge boobies. So I'm confused - men say they want a size 8/10 but when actually confronted with pics they stick with the Hollywood ideal.

Rant over. Leslie, girl, gotta say this post made me laugh so hard. My husband even came over to see what all the fuss was about and he's STILL laughing at "constantly be trying to get you liquored up and into bed be your mate." Yep... still laughing. You made our night! Not that way. Well, maybe a liiiitle bit that way;)

Do you think if I ply the architect with alcohol when he gets home to night, I can get him into bed? Would it help if I showed him the photo of Kelly Brooke (who is not a size 12, I'm pretty sure)? What's a girl to do?

FIRST OF ALL can i just say that that kelly brooke chick looks EXACTLY like danny torres from the shining?

anyways- my boyfriend likes all the spots best that i hate most- my butt and my thighs. and guess why? cause they are the softest.

www.groundedfitness.com

I just talked myself out of a snack, even thought I'm still below my target calories for the day.

I am going to go get my snack, now. Thank you. :)

I just got back from Europe. Over there, an 8 is a 4, a 12 is an 8, and a 16 is a 12. I don't know if that helps with the size 12 confusion, although she doesn't look like an 8 either....

I don't think it helps that these types of surveys make no reference to height. Someone who is a UK size 12 would look like a stick if they were 6' tall, would look average at 5'6" and a bit chubby at 5'3". Size must be taken in context of the body shape, proportions and body fat distribution of the person, as such its quite an arbitrary number. Not to mention the fact if I bought a selection of size 12 items of clothing they would probably all be different sizes anyway...

As a UK resident who regularly inhales at least 4 gossip magazines a week, I can assure you that Kelly Brook is NOT a UK size 12 (at least not if I average out the 123830 different BMIs I have read for her in the past four years) she's more like a size 8 (US 4) with big, big bazongas.

It seems to me that most men tend to get hottest for the big boob/tiny waist ratio, regardless of the actual size of the body. But that's if you take confidence out of the equation. I honestly think confidence is more important than any of it.

And is it just me or do the three girls in the picture not actually look THAT much different size-wise? And all completely gorgeous?

TA x

Yes, I would agree that most men are drawn to the big boobs/small waist look. (BLEH!) However, it is comforting that I THINK men (and maybe our society?) are finally accepting curvier girls as sex figures. Hence Megan Fox (scrawny mini-Angelina Jolie hottie) having to gain weight for the next "Transformers" movie.

And I'm totally going for a snack right now, thankyouverymuch. :-)

My husband is continually encouraging me to keep up my weight training because he likes it when I have "more shape" (i.e., when I don't have spaghetti noodle arms). I think this is right on--most men are more into curves. Who wants to feel all ribs and hipbones when they give you a hug?

Okay, we all are now aware that dudes would rather a woman with some meat on her bones than a woman who IS a bag of bones, but we all knew that, deep down, anyway.
I think the big deal is that women compete so viciously with each other that we will tell ourselves, while still knowing men prefer otherwise, that thinner is better because of the game we play with the same gender.
..eh, or maybe i'm completely off.

i LOVE my husband! I'm ok letting him see whatever he wants - especially now.

This took place just the other day:

me: doing my hair while wearing a bra & scanty panties (it's HOT in our apartment)

him: "Have you been doing crunchies? your waist - it's looking smaller!" (grabs my waist)

me: melts into a puddle of mush

But back to the issue - yeah, men like women with a little more volume, whereas it's us WOMEN for the most part who like to see/be rail-thin. What Are We Doing To Ourselves And Each Other??

Let's all stop, take a deep breath, love ourselves and love each other.

Group hug!

I definitely agree that the pressure to be thin and look a certain way is more about women competing with other women and being catty than it is about what men want. In fact, my father told me that when I was in high school and already in the throes of anorexia. When he said it, I thought he was full of sh@t because that's pretty much what I thought of everything my dad said when I was that age. But what he said stuck with me and when I thought about it later--really thought about it--I realized that's he's right. Women are much more judgmental about each other's bodies than men are about how we look. As a counselor, I also have seen how men and women compete in very different ways. Women usually compete by breaking down each other's self-esteem, and what better way to do that than to attack the way we look (which for most of us has a lot more to do with our genetics than with the amount of control we try to exert over our bodies).

OK, I'm still laughing over "they're single or bastards."

In my experience, women are much tougher on each other and on themselves when it comes to their bodies.

Love all the interesting comments here!

No, I do not look like a stick, more like a ball on sticks. Just saying. Also, the percentage of guys who say they want a size 12 girl and pick Kate Moss as the hottest stuff around... Hmmm...

Love this post.

Heh interesting. I don't think I've ever really bitched about my body to my boyfriend- I don't like to force him into saying something in particular and would rather the compliments be rare and sincere than frequent and obligatory.

Whenever I hear people talking about their uncertainty about what their guy thinks about how they look, I tell them: if he's with you, clearly he thinks you're attractive. Revel in it. And make sure he knows just how lucky he is to have someone as hot as you around!

Okay, I do am being a downer because I iMDB'd Ms Brooke and thought the exact same thing Charlotte thought and that TA x clarified? So I found a little conversion chart so we can have this all in perspective: http://www.bodenusa.com/yourquest/w_size.asp

*sigh* Yep, still need to lose weight to attract guys across the pond even.

kelly's comment NAILS IT (uh about the boyfriend..cant recall what danny torres looks like :))

No matter if you are on the thin side or the (what we affectionately call) the curvier side, men want big boobs. I am thin. I was born that way. I work out. I stay that way. And I don't have huge boobs either. Glad my self esteem plummeted for the day. I'm sure the eye rolling has already convinced but if I knew a way to eat more so that my ass got bigger and my boobs as well, I'm sure I'd have already started.

I just want to know if these guys even know what a size 12 is. I hear guys say what size they prefer, but time and time again will see a girl of that same size and call her fat.

Men are attracted to women that have curves, the coke-bottle shape. It's not about the number 4 or 8 or 12. In fact, I don't think some guys even know what size THEY wear.
It's us women that stress about the numbers and calories and measurements and are really hard on ourselves and each other to fit some kind of a stupid ideal that's not real.
Also, men that watch too much tv or pron, tend to assume that all women look like actresses and pornstars who have personal trainers, makeup artist, plastic surgeons and airbrushers on call, not to mention a ton of money. Sorry guys, our breasts aren't always going to be firm and perky and our skin will be a little bit more wrinkly and might get a few grays in our 30's.
Just goes to show how easily we forget that life is too short to worry about stupid shit a number on the back of your shirt. Now go rock that body!

Ugh! I hate the media....it is so off! The many, many, many males I know disagree with the medias perception of a good looking woman...seriously!

Sure guys say they want a girl with more meat on her bones...but they think of "meat on her bones" as a nice big pair of boobs and a juicy behind. Not every woman holds their fat in the same places...I hold it all in my thighs and stomach which leaves me with a normal sized booty and tiny ta-tas.

I dunno, I'm just skeptical about the whole "guys like women bigger" thing...

Alexandra, REAL men don't give a rat's patootie about the size of their partner's boobs, and if they do, they are NOT WORTHY!
I'm just gonna put this out there: I have large breasts. And I frequently wish they were smaller. My husband? he's just glad he gets to see them, regardless of what size they are.

Well shoot, I was all cheered up by what the guys said--but I think that picture of Kelly Brooke made me realize that there may be a certain diplomatic bullshit factor in the guy's responses. Plus, the clarification on the clothing sizes puts it a little more in perspective.

Still if even a few women can take a little hope from what the article SEEMS to be saying, and stop obsessing so much about their size, that would be a great thing.

BTW, I once read an article, written by a man, which told women to stop worrying so much about what we look like naked; men are happy when they get to see us that way, and don't spend time picking apart our bodies the way we do (especially since all the blood has left their brains and and gone south by that point).

ha, tagged you sucker.

i hate these and im sure you do too, but you have to anyway cause i saids so.

head to groundedfitness for the ruels.

www.groundedfitness.com

I just have to say I love your blog! I found it Saturday morning while searching the web for... well I don't knwo what I was looking for but I found it! I spent a big part of my weekend catching up on your old blogs. I think it's great that you're teachign all of these women about self acceptance. I've had body image issures in the past but after reading your blog, I realize I should stop picking myself apart because this jiggles too much or that looks to flabby. I'm healthy! There's so many other things in life to worry about. I exercise (almost) everyday. That's good enough for me. Some people don't even do that! Sure I might not be a size 2 but will that make me happy? Probably not. Keep up the positive blogs - they're grrrreat!

Men have no concept of sizing. They just look and know whether they like what they see. We should probably remember that.

We should also remember that - here's a shocker - when you love someone, you don't see cellulite or saggy boobs (or a beer gut or a double chin or whatever guy-equivalent you choose). You see the person you love and you love what you see. Yeah, I get that first attraction is usually based on appearance...but for those of us kvetching around our significant others - we've already nailed that part. Now we just need to be who we are and love who we are, because they do, cellulite and all.

(Unless, you know, they ARE bastards. In which case, it's not the cellulite you need to lose, it's the guy.)

Personally, I am blessed with Super DH, able to make me feel hot even when I'm at my PMS-y, bloated worst. Yeah, it is definitely a superpower. I'm SO keeping him. :-)

V.

I was glad to see a few women onto something that is proven by science. The ladies are right when they said that guys prefer women with a larger waist to hip ratio aka a smaller waist with larger hips (and having a nice rack helps emphasize from the top too). This has been studied in evolutionary psychology (as well as other things for "mate preferences"). So when a few ladies talked about how one weight can look very different on various heights and frames (as well as taking into consideration muscle and fat ratios) it comes down to proportion on your frame.

I'm totally on the confidence bandwagon as well - if someone has that pizazz, then it doesn't necessarily matter what they look like, they will suddenly become SO SO SO attractive.
Having said that from a completely objective viewpoint all those ladies pictured are absolutely gorgeous.

What the heck does "body confident" mean, anyway?

Does this mean the uglier and more repulsive you get, the more disagreeable, defiant, and proud you get also?

Terribly fortunate to be a single bastard, always...

* DP

P.S. - Oh, and thanks for informing yours truly of the existence of whats-her-face (that swimsuit chick...) - gossip BS is good for something, but not much.

Oh, and can I get a date with Lauren?
She's on the right track: science determined some time ago that female bodily beauty is 30% age, 25% waist-to-hip ratio, 25% BMI, 10% height and relative leg length, and 10% breast size.
Each of these quantities has a sweet spot and shouldn't be either too large or too small if one is trying to optimize the total rating.

I am sorry but kelly Brook is not a size 12 and she has serious Man Face going on, I suspect she is a he!

Thank you!!! I love this article, but i do have to agree. Most guys will say they like your size but when looking at the pictures they usually go for a smaller version. Are they just insecure about what they like?

Unfortunatly the only way women can change their look is through excersize and surgery. But even then genetics still plays a huge role as to your body fat proportions. Some women are born luckeir than others. but the fact of this matter is most women cannot achive that and theres nothing wrong with that. Beleive me a real man would rather love a women with a lust for life than love a woman who is constantly worried about her appearance. All healthy women are beautiful and that should be our goal--healthiness.

Unfortunatly the only way women can change their look is through excersize and surgery. But even then genetics still plays a huge role as to your body fat proportions. Some women are born luckeir than others. but the fact of this matter is most women cannot achive that and theres nothing wrong with that. Beleive me a real man would rather love a women with a lust for life than love a woman who is constantly worried about her appearance. All healthy women are beautiful and that should be our goal--healthiness.

I love the idea of the article, don't get me wrong. But at the end when you say that our partners would not have chosen us if we weren't their physical "ideal" or what they want. The truth is most of us (women) and some men gain 20+ pounds after marriage and children, so I don't look the same as when he chose me. That is the biggest part of my insecurities, not really that I look bad, because I don't think I do, but that he met me when I looked better, and now I'm not the same.
I'm pretty sure that is the problem for most of women like me.

I just love this thread. I am what most consider a "pleasantly plump" lady and my boyfriend loves the meat on my bones (his words). And I love him for the skinny tall balding guy that he is. We're both 44. It's just a matter of finding - and accepting - the right person - and no whining about "my butt is fat" or "my belly sags" or whatever - if he truly loves you, he'll love all that along with you!

Hmmm... so that's Kelly Brooke. Guys really want a skinny woman with a couple of oranges tacked on to her chest? With that stretched skin those things must be as hard as oranges as well. It's been my experience that what guys like to feel and what they like to see are two different things. Curves feel sexier but skinny with big fake boobs looks sexier to them. I'll bet if men were blindfolded and asked to caress a curvy woman and Kelly Brook and vote on the sexiest one, she'd hardly get any votes.

I think Jill's right (I'm a different Jill). Men are very visual creatures. It sucks. hah

Wow. I'm stunned. I wear a size 10 (I guess a size 12 in England), have the big boobs that go with that, and definitely am more along the curvy side of things, and I NEVER would have thought they would consider that the men's ideal. It just doesn't seem to be from looking at magazines, media, and culture. I'm really surprised at how the men answered the survey. Maybe that really can be indicative that the average of all the men attracted to all the different bodies we women have is this "men's ideal" type. Some like girls curvier than the size 10/12 girl, some like girls thinner. That's a middle of the road type size, so I bet that's actually an average of their answers. I wonder.

It is heartening to see guys like different types, and personally I think all types are beautiful and we shouldn't be down on ourselves or backstabbing to one another as women criticizing "this size' or "that size." I'm encouraged that this is one of the first messages from culture that my appearance is actually acceptabl

Wow. I'm stunned. I wear a size 10 (I guess a size 12 in England), have the big boobs that go with that, and definitely am more along the curvy side of things, and I NEVER would have thought they would consider that the men's ideal. It just doesn't seem to be from looking at magazines, media, and culture. I'm really surprised at how the men answered the survey. Maybe that really can be indicative that the average of all the men attracted to all the different bodies we women have is this "men's ideal" type. Some like girls curvier than the size 10/12 girl, some like girls thinner. That's a middle of the road type size, so I bet that's actually an average of their answers. I wonder.

It is heartening to see guys like different types, and personally I think all types are beautiful and we shouldn't be down on ourselves or backstabbing to one another as women criticizing "this size' or "that size." I'm encouraged that this is one of the first messages from culture that my appearance is actually acceptabl

Wow. I'm stunned. I wear a size 10 (I guess a size 12 in England), have the big boobs that go with that, and definitely am more along the curvy side of things, and I NEVER would have thought they would consider that the men's ideal. It just doesn't seem to be from looking at magazines, media, and culture. I'm really surprised at how the men answered the survey. Maybe that really can be indicative that the average of all the men attracted to all the different bodies we women have is this "men's ideal" type. Some like girls curvier than the size 10/12 girl, some like girls thinner. That's a middle of the road type size, so I bet that's actually an average of their answers. I wonder.

It is heartening to see guys like different types, and personally I think all types are beautiful and we shouldn't be down on ourselves or backstabbing to one another as women criticizing "this size' or "that size." I'm encouraged that this is one of the first messages from culture that my appearance is actually acceptabl

Guys have NO CLUE what clothing size equates to when looking at a woman. Bet you none of the men surveyed even knew what a size 12 is!

I was just mentioning this part of this size and the survey to my husband this morning, and he said he'd already seen it last night (I didn't know he went on ivillage any!). Anyway, he is British and said that's definitely the way he thought British guys would vote. American guys tend to expect women to be thinner than that standard, but he said guys in England do tend to find women attractive closer to those results, from his perspective. He said he was afraid to bring it up to me because he thought I might be offended somehow, if he said it wrong, which shows me how sensitive I am and other women are about our bodies and our perceived "flaws." I've always considered being tall (5 foot 10), big breasted (36 DD) and not having much of a butt or hips (flat butt syndrome, anyone?), and long legs and broad shoulders "FLAWED." Not anymore. Wow. I've felt ugly forever because of looking like the size 12/10 girl in that picture. I didn't know men liked that at all. And my husband said he knows what sizes are.

I thought of something else. I am 5 foot 10, curvy, big busted, etc. I'm not toned right now, but I'm not flabby either. When I have been toned, exercised a lot, and ate great (no alcohol either), I wear a size 10. When I don't do it, I'm still a size 10 but have a little belly. I have a little belly flab right now; that's it.

My husband says I'm right for the size I should be and that I look beautiful. He may be biased, but he does see me naked, which no other man does. :) he he he.

Well, my actual physical skeleton I don't think is the size of a person who wears size 6. Seriously. I don't think my SKELETON would be a size 6, no joke. So I think I have no way around being considered "plus size' in the fashion type world when I am not overweight at all. I worked out constantly in college, ate terrific, took modern dance, pilates, did weight training, etc, and I was still a size 10. Now I don't do all of that and am still a size 10. Just with a little tummy, which my husband actually loves.

I thought of something else. I am 5 foot 10, curvy, big busted, etc. I'm not toned right now, but I'm not flabby either. When I have been toned, exercised a lot, and ate great (no alcohol either), I wear a size 10. When I don't do it, I'm still a size 10 but have a little belly. I have a little belly flab right now; that's it.

My husband says I'm right for the size I should be and that I look beautiful. He may be biased, but he does see me naked, which no other man does. :) he he he.

Well, my actual physical skeleton I don't think is the size of a person who wears size 6. Seriously. I don't think my SKELETON would be a size 6, no joke. So I think I have no way around being considered "plus size' in the fashion type world when I am not overweight at all. I worked out constantly in college, ate terrific, took modern dance, pilates, did weight training, etc, and I was still a size 10. Now I don't do all of that and am still a size 10. Just with a little tummy, which my husband actually loves.

I think it all depends. The way I was raised a US 6 is fat too.
My measurements are 34A 26 36, which is like a size 2 or something,
and I'm trying to loose weight. My boyfriend loves how thin I am, and how small my breasts are, but I could be thinner, you know? Nobody is pressuring me but myself, when I look in a mirror I think 'Huh, tons of women would die to look like this.' Its almost like I want to loose weight just to fit in with all the women on diets. Personally, if I ever get to be a size 6, I will never rest til I'm thin again. 6 is average, not thin.

(mae)gen, I feel sorry for you.

I feel sorry for the women who are happy being beautiful and curvy who think looking like me would make their partners happier. For every body type there's somebody who finds it attractive. My standards or the fashion industries standards or whoevers are all going to be different. :)

this article definately suprised me as well as put things into perspective. i like to see that the world is beginning to become more comfortable with themselves. me on the other hand i have a ways to go even though i am under weight i still have to learn to love me for me and in the mean time i take compliments from others with a grain of salt, because if i can't look in the mirror and love me then i can't rely on the nice words of others...but i definately feel like this article will help me not beat up on myself so much but be happy that i am a size 2 and not freak out if i gain weight. vain i know but us smaller girls still have fears in us as well
but health is the way to go not sickly looking

i think a lot of you women have serious problems...if you give me any three of those body types, I would thoroughly do damage (aka sex) especially the thicker two...most men, especially those with any sexual experience do not like skinny women..but there is something prestigious about "bagging" the skinny girl that girls glamorize!

The last time I was a size 12 - I WAS 12! I have a plus-size body via genetics. Thank heavens I'm married to a man who loves me for who I am and enjoys my "full figure." Our culture's obsession with rail thin/Hollywood looks is a product of fantasy, not reality. And, good luck to all the now skinny girls - in a few years or decades you might still be thin, but you're going to sag honey!

this article is a load of huey written most likely to excuse those extra few pounds many women have. it is the waist/hip ratio that is most important, along with the waist/bust ratio... and of course height is a big factor, in "dress size" too. I have been hovering between US 8 and 10 for the past 6 years. Men all seem to think I look great-- that is what they say-- and I am not busty or showing a lot of skin. I think attitude is important, and most men are not attracted to flab or poorly fitting clothes... or muffin top. They like flat stomachs. I've been told it a thousand times... and I believe it! But what is more important than any number - weight/dress size/ height/etc. is HEALTH! So just eat healthy stuff, and don't rationalize away unhealthy stuff.... with stupid articles like this one. Who cares? There's a lid for every pot... Just be healthy!

Does anyone wonder what we could all accomplish in life (myself included) if we spent less time worrying about if we're men's ideal size and more time worrying about things that actually matter? i'm guilty of this too. i just spent almost $200 on a pair of jeans marketed to make you look 10 lbs thinner. just think about if i had donated that $200 to a good cause. or what if the amount of time we spent reading gossip magazines or going to the salon was spent mentoring a kid or helping an elderly neighbor?

I know this is going to sound real dumb. The pressure put on females is greatly high....but as a male alot of guys I know hae the same problems with self image. Being to scrawny, not enough muscle, not enough facial hair, its goes on and on. I didnt have any realtionships going through school while all the girls where going for the big jock types. As much as every big actresses all have a similar build...all the male actors seem to be the sameway...so my question is from a womens point of view what is the ideal size the like in a man?

This one's for the guy:

I used to really really be into scrappy little cowboys. They don't do it for me now.

Now I'm with someone who's a pretty stocky, former football player who gives THE best bear hugs, hands down.

Just as it's different for all men, it's different for all women. We like what we like, and that's that.

Someone earlier said that when you love someone, you see them for them, not the packaging. Focus on that!

I don't believe for one second that men actually prefer a size 12 to a size 8. They're lying to they can seem less shallow and therefore get a size 8. I've been the victim of bullying by men too much to believe them when they say such a big, fat lie.

It's true, different women are attracted to different male body types. But just like the evolutionary waist-to-hip ratio & big breasts attraction that applies to men, I think the same could be said about most (not all) women's attraction to built/buff guys. Big breasts and a small waist-to-hip ratio symbolizes fertility, nurture, blah blah...For women, a built male body would subconsciously symbolize strength, security, fertility...you get the point.
I personally don't find myself attracted to men that are deemed built or have bulgy muscles.

wel i agree dat most of man interested in women 's sizes (even they hav no idea abt it)i hav gud gud figure n my bf loves my curves bt d most important thing s dat if u lov sum1 lov her wat she s, dont go on jst packaging!!bez it can be lose n gain bt lov wil be forever between us !! so no matter wat siz u r!

Society needs to get over this "ideal woman" bullshit. Women come in all shapes and sizes and this is not going to change no matter what. Women today need to love themselves, no matter how they look. If we all were a size 2 men today would be looking for love on the internet only. We must return to the real sense of life. Just do YOU. Forget abot what you see o TV and in he magazines. It's all FAKE anyway!!!

Society needs to get over this "ideal woman" bullshit. Women come in all shapes and sizes and this is not going to change no matter what. Women today need to love themselves, no matter how they look. If we all were a size 2 men today would be looking for love on the internet only. We must return to the real sense of life. Just do YOU. Forget abot what you see on TV and in he magazines. It's all FAKE anyway!!!

Society needs to get over this "ideal woman" bullshit. Women come in all shapes and sizes and this is not going to change no matter what. Women today need to love themselves, no matter how they look. If we all were a size 2 men today would be looking for love on the internet only. We must return to the real sense of life. Just do YOU. Forget abot what you see on TV and in he magazines. It's all FAKE anyway!!!

I would hope in a perfect world this is all true, but then why do men subscride to maxim, fhm, and playboy? all featuring thin, size 2 girls? I know there are some bustier girls in their, but their butts aren't that big :D haha!

I would hope in a perfect world this is all true, but then why do men subscride to maxim, fhm, and playboy? all featuring thin, size 2 girls? I know there are some bustier girls in their, but their butts aren't that big :D haha!

The thing with weight is such a "western" thing, I just went t Africa, and found out African men just love curvy women and really dislike skinny women, so if u are feeling too fat then pack up and move to were its appreciated. I found out that if u are stick thin in some places within africa u b asked if something is wrong with u!!!

I don't think any of my male friends have a clue which size is which, and there are so many factors involved - height, body shape etc.... Plus, everyone likes different shapes, surely? I have guy friends that love slender girls, guy friends that go for curves, and guys who I think just go for whatever they can get. Haha, life's rich tapestry!

Cxx

I think the problem is a combination of a lot of things but mostly that American women don't seem to want to accept or "get" the concept of height/weight proportionate dimensions. I am 5'9 and wear a size 6. The model, Kelly Brooke is probably taller. When I see her I don't doubt she is the size she is. I look about her size but I am tall. American women are on average 5'4, I believe but wear that same size. Well, duh, of course YOU (and most of the women you see) are going to look heavier at that size than a taller woman. I'm not even really that tall ro skinny but am constantly getting comments about how lucky I am to be tall and slim. However my height and weight are in proportion. Some of that is genetics.. my waist is smaller than my hips and chest making my chest look fairly large in contrast and giving me a rounded at the hip area. However some of it is diet and exercise. If I gain 10 pounds my waist to hip ratio looks different (they are about equal) giving me a dumpy chunky look. Its about the proportion

I agree. In the U-S there are women who are 5'2 wear a size 10 and then bitch about how the fashion world is unrealistic. No, its unrealistic to think at that tiny of a height you should be wearing a double digit size and that somehow that is the norm that should be reflected. I'm 5'6 and wear a size 6. I look a little heavy compared to that model, but hell she probably has 4 inches in height on me at least! And frankly though I am not technically overweight; if I toned up I probably would go down a dress size or two. When I worked out I was a size 2 or 4. I've also had kids and I'm married. I didn't gain 22 lbs as a result of those things though and I resent women who keep this myth alive that childbearing and marriage is an excuse to gain too much weight. I am not saying women should be rail thin but if you are as wide as you are tall only a man who likes round is going to be attracted. Your waist, chest and hips morph together. Men don't know any sizes really, but they definitely notice proportion.

Just be happy with yourself and if not change it to what you are satisfied with. If you are changing just to look like someone else, you may not even be happy then. Be the best you, not some "ideal". Time wasted on pleasing others may take away from pleasing yourself. I am happy I look like me and not some cookie cutter image. Its all real and I am happy with it.

Somedays I feel heavy and other days I feel fine and the weight doesn't bother me. I'm a 42DD and getting thick in the waist also. I asked my boyfriend if I needed to lose weight and instead of lying to me, by saying no, or being mean and saying yes, he said "Can you?", Then and there I knew he was the one for me, always and forever, no matter what size I am.

I honestly think that the guys in the survey were just putting out a front so they didn't seem shallow. I live in a town of about 3000 people. I'm considered morbidly obese but in reality I'm not that bad comparatively speaking. The point is that I haven't been hit on by any guy for almost a year now and I'm very confident about my body. I sing in a band onstage so I have to have some sort of confidence. I'm not saying all but alot of men are very shallow creatures that care about only one thing and that is how they will look if they date a certain girl. To them I say get over it and get with someone that knows how to eat what she wants and doesn't worry all the time about what she looks like. One more thing I don't wear makeup all the time either usually only when I go out with my girlfriends. I feel bad for all those a**holes that will never know real companionship.

Lilli said "I personally don't find myself attracted to men that are deemed built or have bulgy muscles."

I dated a guy who was skin and bones and that was the last time I dated anyone that skinny. I could reach all the way around him and felt like I was hugging myself! Not my cup of tea. My husband is the same height as me but has lots of muscle and build to him. It was one of the things I loved about him. Something to hang onto is wonderful ;-)