Things you should NOT do in the locker room

On Saturday, a girlfriend of mine and I were drinking pineapple-infused vodka at a party. (One bottle Absolut + one drained can Dole pineapple rings + five months sitting on a shelf = frighteningly delicious liquid yumminess). As she, I and our respective mates tore into homemade hummus and spinach dip, H's eyes lit up like my on-the-fritz dashboard and she practically screamed through a mouthful of baby carrots, "OMG I have to tell you what I saw in the locker room today!" With those words, the boys made a hasty and rather Pavlovian departure from the kitchen to watch football, allowing H to embark on her story involving this horribly anorexic older woman at our gym (I've actually complained to management abut her before because she is brink-of-death thin and I don't feel it's safe to have little girls in the locker room exposed to that kind of imagery. Management, of course, has done nothing.)

Anyhow, apparently the woman decided the bathroom was, ya know, too private and sanitary a place to do her business and H was confronted with the image of her bent over, totally naked, affixing a pad to her underpants.

This is wrong on so many levels, from the fact that my initial reaction was, "She still gets her period?" to the health issues involved with inserting/applying feminine hygiene products out in the open.

My scary sanitary pad saga comes at a particularly fortuitous time, no matter how gross, because on Thursday of last week (which seems like eons ago, after this weekend of blessed relaxation, debauchery and - coming soon - some insanely exciting news - my friend FitSugar emailed me to let me know she'd blogged all about locker room antics in honor of Locker Room Diaries.

She writes:

"After reading her book, I have noticed how different women approach changing and showering at the gym. So now I am wondering about how you all feel about getting naked in the locker room? Are you comfortable with it, or do you change at home? The showers at my gym are communal, and I have seen ladies wearing swimsuits while washing their hair as well as women shaving all sorts of hair in the shower. Do you shower at the gym? How about the sauna or the steam room? Speak up and tell me how you feel about getting naked in the locker room."

What my book cover SHOULD HAVE looked like.

Responses ranged from "I hardly have enough courage to drop the towel to jump in the pool, let alone shower or change in front of others" to "Why do some women take the opportunity to walk around a public locker room either butt naked or topless and in a thong? I mean, really, I'm curious WHY they do that? What are they trying to prove?" to "Honestly, I don't have a problem with it. Just slip on your clothes and keep moving. It's not a big deal. There are other pressing issues in the world. Sometimes we (Americans) can be a bit prudish about something as simple as nudity."

I think you all (or, at least, anyone who actually cares about me has read my book) know my stance on this: I get naked in the locker room but don't prance around. I often will dry my hair topless if the AC is on the fritz and it's just too hot, but my nether parts are always covered...usually with some very sassy, one-liner-type undies that read "I play mind games" or are covered with black and white images of gay male phone sex ads. And I shall never, ever touch a stool or other piece of furniture with my bare ass. (This happens, and it's horrifying.)

Don't know how many of you hit the gym this weekend but if you did, tell me - Do you get nekkid in the locker room? Hide in the stall? Sashay around with all your bits flying? And what's the most horrifying thing you've seen? No judgment here! Just curious.

Comments

I'm sort of middle-of-the-road about it. I don't mind being naked-ish - meaning, like you, the girls might show but the nether portion is always covered - but I'm not gratuitous about it. Generally the stuff is only showing in mid-change; otherwise, there's a towel involved.

I get grossed out by other people pretty easily too. Seeing them nude isn't a problem...but the shaving and the sanitary pad thing made me throw up a little. And aren't you supposed to shave BEFORE you go to the gym? Or is that just me?

So I guess I'm moderately prudish. I've never really seen anything overtly nasty though, I guess everyone around here is even more prudish than I am. :-)

V.

i used to have a problem getting naked in the locker room. always changed in the stalls in middle school (or hiding in a corner) and never had much need for the locker room in high school. in college, i never showered after practice with my teammates (lived above the rink and rarely played during away games).

but then sophomore year, i get a boyfriend, somehow shower with him ... and suddenly i just don't care anymore. now i don't have much of an issue with it. granted, i'm an underwear girl and like my hoo-hoo covered up, but i honestly like combing out my hair without a shirt on. it's easier. however, the amount of time i'm naked in the locker room is the time necessary. i'm in and out as quick as i can just for efficiency's sake.

and creepiest thing i've seen? a turd in the shower that i had to clean up when i worked at the gym. probably not what you wanted, but still. *shudder*

*hid in a corner. damn verb agreement.

When I was younger I paraded around not out of body confidence but out of pure ditzyness (is that a word?). I was always leaving and or dropping things somewhere and at the time I was in pretty good shape and didn't always notice that I was in fact nekked.

I am way more aware of myself now and don't get nekked in front of people if I can help it. I think this may be why I like working out at home.

Jenn

Ok there are some things that decency calls for doing in private. Applying menstrual protection is one of those things, IMO. There are bathroom stalls for a reason.

Nudity itself, however, never bothers me. As long as it is contained to the locker room and is part of actually showering / changing / etc, who cares? I mean, that's why locker rooms are there, right? The fact is that cleaning off and changing clothes requires one to be naked, so we create these safe spaces where nudity is OK, and it should be.

At the gym I don't mind being naked. It doesn't bother me at all. However, I try to be sensitive to the fact that my exposed flabby fat rolls might be upsetting or a trigger to others (it is what it is,) so I keep it in check. Hence changing clothes or showering = OK, but I cover up to use the sauna or just walk around.

I keep it covered in the locker room. I put on bra and undies after toweling off in the privacy of the shower. I get dressed quickly in the main room and keep it moving. I'm more along the lines of why does someone need to be nekkid in there? I just really don't want to see all of that no matter what kind of shape you are in. If that makes me a prude then so be it. :)

I used to be quite prudish, having never had to shower for gym class during the high school years. Thank God for that. I spent a year teaching in Japan and joined the local gym. After twelve months of naked Japanese ladies cornering me (while I was scurrying around in the buff) and trying to have conversations, as well as seeing elderly women freely bathing themselves on little stools with buckets and sweating themselves in the sauna, I realized that women's bodies are universal and there shouldn't be any shame. Think everyone's staring at your body at the gym? Try being the naked American chick!

Considering the fact that I change in the bathroom at my house and apartment, I don't think I'm getting anywhere near naked in the locker room. Luckily I did not see anyone naked women in the locker this weekend. I actually only go in there to pee.

I usually change at home but if I did change at the gym it would just be to my bra and panties or in the stall. Not that I actually go to the gym. The oddest story I have is that I bent down to tie my shoe and when I stood up almost had a face full of boobage.

After teaching my first pilates class at Gold's, I went into the locker room to be confronted with a very naked woman standing in front of my locker and taking pictures of her breasts and butt. I didn't ask. I just got my bag out of my locker (trying not to touch any part of her naked anatomy) and left. Now, I just go in to use the bathroom.
At the Jewish Community Center, people are quite happy to be nude in the locker room, but they don't TAKE PICTURES!!!! Also, many of the members are either over 70 or under 10, so they just don't give a darn.
I don't usually hang around naked (too self-conscious about my chubbiness), but I don't mind others who do. As long as they leave the camera in their bag. Of course, if I looked like you, Leslie, I'd go EVERYWHERE naked.

I used to be a hider but now I'm just pragmatic. It's hard to change under a towel and getting dressed in a toilet stall feels icky. So I dress in the locker room. And yeah, my naked bits show. I have actually gotten comfortable enough to joke about it (with my friends - I try not to accost strangers naked). I don't prance around (or take pics - Alyssa!!! I would have died! Aren't cameras banned in locker rooms?) but I don't take unnecessary measure to cover up either.

Weirdest thing I've seen? A group of teenage girls trying on each other's underwear. Um, ew. And also, nobody tell Joe Francis.

Oh. My. God.

Pictures of your girl bits? Sharing underwear?

What kind of crazy gyms are you guys going to??? I don't think any amount of brain bleach could ever repair that kind of trauma for me.

I'm another practical type. Post workout, I strip down to naked, wrap a towel around myself, shower, then dry off in the shower stall. Then I walk back over to my locker, drop the towel on the bench and put on my clothes. So, yeah, I'm definitely full-on naked for a minute or so, but I don't walk around naked.

I'm all about the naked. Well, I keep my knickers on, but how am I supposed to moisturise all over if I'm wearing a bra? Part of me is absolutely dying that people are looking at me and judging me, but I'm too stubborn to change in the cubicle. I know I hate my body, but that doesn't mean other people should. I know - weird.

Our gym-goers are pretty normal, so no horror stories. Although I change from Spin at the same time the Pole Dance instructor changes every Friday, she tends to take everything off but her 4-inch heels and then struts about the place chatting to her students.

It's the stuff of men's dreams!

TA x

I remember once my friend from work came to the gym with me. I am the kind of person who shows up ready to go, so I was a little shocked to look over as we were talking and see that she was completely naked. Luckily I rolled with it and didn't make things awkward... but I'm definitely on the "prude" end of the spectrum!

I'm kind of partially prude - I don't have trouble getting naked to take a shower, but I walk to the shower with a towel wrapped around me. And I'll change out in the open, but don't get totally naked. I don't see the point of walking around totally naked unless you're going to a shower.

I have to say I almost threw up in my mouth about the shaving in the shower. I hope they were just shaving their legs, which is much more palatable. I dunno, just seems to be something that should be private. I had more problem with that than the pads.

Ha ha! Locker room nakedness has become a topic of almost daily conversation between my roommate and myself.

It was actually a resolution of mine this year to get over my anxiety about changing in a women's locker room--a goal which, I'm proud to say, I accomplished on January 2. After all, if women over twice my age could do it without making a fuss, why shouldn't I? Then again, there's a difference between changing and, as you put it so eloquently, "prancing around." Just yesterday I saw a woman leave a toilet stall, step up to the sink and wash her hands, and then go back into the shower all completely nude. Showering/changing/etc. is one thing, but is it so difficult to wrap a towel around yourself if you're going to be walking around like that?

The especially delicate thing at my gym (and what I have the biggest issue with) is that we often have to share the locker room with women who have young children. Sure, Mom must be fine with it, but I didn't sign up to be your kid's anatomy lesson, thanks much!

damn.

I really need to do more traditional working out at a gym.

Ive seen nothing as good as ANY OF YOU describe in a long while...

I walk naked to & from the shower. I do not sit naked on the benches, because that is skanky. Other than the shower trips, I'll usually have a minimum of panties on, and more often a bra.

Oh - and I ALWAYS, shower, pool, wherever, have something on my feet.

I'm a naked girl. It's a locker room, and I need to take clothes off to put other clothes on. But i don't prance, bend over, or change my sanitary napkin in public. ew. yuck. gross.

I have to go with the -it's a locker room. people are going to change. or shower. I change and shower. This is different from hanging out naked for 15 minutes, but not something I'd freak out about. I also have to say-did you really suggest that a woman be banned for being too thin? While she may need help, I wouldn't want to see that become a trend. I mean, if that lady is a danger for children to see, when is being too fat going to be subject for getting banned?

back in the day when i was much less of a literal starving artist than i am now and could afford a gym membership..haha..
after working out i'd change my shirt most of the time, but that was about it. there were days when i didn't even do that.
i never felt welcome in the damn locker room, and i was never sure why.
i do remember this one creepy lady who used to leave about the same time i would, and she would always attempt (i think) to talk to me, but she'd sort of say it like she could be talking to herself.
one of the last days i was in there, she came in a couple minutes after me and started changing, saying "well that was good!" to no one in particular.
creepy lady might've been the reason why i got the heck out of there as fast as i could, i'm not sure.

No nekkidness for me here! Few women in our locker room actually bare it all. Really, the naked people sometimes make it awkward! (I mean, should I really say hi and introduce myself while making sure she KNOWS I'm not looking you-know-where?!)