So many boys, so little chance

I don't know what you were doing Saturday at 3pm but me? I was surrounded by hundreds of half-naked men wearing teeny little bikini briefs, drinking giant pina coladas and dancing to techno music.

That's right - I headed back to my old hood, Boystown, for the annual Northalsted Street Days. I used to live right on Halsted, in the epicenter of Chicago's funnest neighborhood, directly over a vibrator store called Batteries Not Included. It was a fun place to live, to say the least. I never got hassled. Men stopped me on the street to let me know my tag was sticking out of my tank top and by the way, I had gorgeous shoulders. Everyone was accepted and tolerance filled the air like the smell of sugar escaping from a bakery. I was in my "transition" phase, immersed in the club scene and obsessed with wearing as little as possible without being arrested. During Gay Pride parade, I remember getting dolled up in a black spandex miniskirt, a tee-shirt that said "I'm With Dirk" (leftover from a Rollergirl Halloween costume), no bra and a leather dog collar that has the word "BITCH" emblazoned in hot pink. Oh, and I wore my hair in pig tails. And drank from an open container on the street with my friend Trish. I remember almost the whole parade, up until the point a large topless woman with bumper stickers covering her two nipples (which had a chain dangling between them, natch) grabbed the two of us as if we were no more than rag dolls and kissed us. Photos were taken - I don't know what happened to them or else they'd be posted here.

Instead, I give you this:

boystown.jpg


You're welcome.

This is the kind of stud that I saw everywhere I turned on Saturday. Sure, there were guys who weren't quite so hairless, or ripped, or were actually wearing khaki shorts over their undies. (Prudes!) But for the most part, men were near-naked. I wore a sportsbra tank and Lucy shorts (oh, how times have changes) and went with my cousin who, quite blessedly, just moved to town, along with his new husband - a Jewish doctor! Anyhow, we traipsed through the crowd and I have to say, I have a bit of a new perspective on this whole naked-men-in-undies-thing.

One bar in particular seemed to be extremely popular, no doubt due to the tan, oiled-up, 12-pack-looking 18-year-olds behind the bar. They were just such obvious eye candy and I had to wonder, "Don't they feel objectified?" It was like those girls who work the beer tubs in horrifically cheesy Spring Break bars. Just naked skin for everyone to stare at. I don't know why it surprised me so much - anyone/thing can be objectified. I guess I'm just so used to women being the target that it stunned me a bit to see guys on the other end.

Then we passed a dunk tank with a guy in tightie whities and I saw things I'm not supposed to be seeing and I stopped thinking clearly.


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August 11, 2008 at 11:58pm | Permalink | Comments (16)

Comments

this post made me (laugh &)think 2 things:

just finished Michael Tolliver (read Tales of the City?).

saw a documentary on BEARS this past weekend and it was so interesting to me how they talked about themselves developing as a 'rebellion' (my word I think) to the YOU GOTTA BE SKINNY BUFF AND HAIRLESS TO BE ATTRACTIVE of the gay community.

their version of the female fat acceptance movement.

Posted by MizFit on August 12 at 06:08am

Boy MUST be a swimmer, there is a distinct lack of anybodyhairwhatsover on that bod!

Posted by WundaLucy on August 12 at 07:35am

Um, Yummy pic!!

...A dog collar??

...I wear my hair in pigtails now, but only while I'm working out.

Posted by Palmtreechick on August 12 at 08:12am

I went to Gay Pride in my city last weekend! Typically colourful although spirits slightly dampened by the British wet weather.

I always feel a bit guilty for lusting after beautiful men who are clearly gay, and hence stand to gain nothing from my admiration. But maybe that's a result of the objectification thing you talk about.

And it doesn't stop me doing it, either....

TA x

Posted by TokaiAngel on August 12 at 08:20am

I was in Chicago last year at this time for a conference and ended up meeting a guy friend during this party. That was an AWESOME night! (Oh, but what a rough next day...) I was surrounded by HOT guys who would buy drinks for me, but I could flail around like the un-coordinated white girl I am and not give a rip. Not like anyone was there to pick me up.

I liked how these guys would just walk up to someone, say "I'm Mike and you're hot" and start making out. Maybe that's taking it a bit quick, but man it was nice to watch them skip the tap dancing us hetero folks go thru.

Posted by Maggie on August 12 at 09:48am

I miss the gay bars I used to hang out in in LA. I think I need to find some here.

Posted by Amy on August 12 at 10:22am

Helloooooo. Nice photo.

Would love to see that dog collar - too funny!

Posted by FatFighter on August 12 at 10:47am

Thanks SO much for the yumminess. Perfect pick-me-up for the day (too bad he'll never actually pick me up).

I think the objectification is just as prevalent in the gay community as everywhere else. The buff, gorgeous gay guy is the skinny, gorgeous girl.

Posted by Gemfit on August 12 at 11:18am

Am jealous! That would be fun. I've never been to a gay bar. That must be remedied.

Posted by Sagan on August 12 at 12:23pm

He is so yummy.

That sounds like SO much fun! I love my gay male friends...they know how to make a girl feel better and how to make you laugh. And they are REQUIRED when trying to look good on a night out.

Posted by CDlover on August 12 at 02:10pm

How fun!!!!!!
I used to hang out at gay bars. They're so much more fun for hetero gals than regular bars!

Posted by Alyssa on August 12 at 03:55pm

i have a few gay friends and they said the pressure to be thin, tan and attractive is unbelievable. they say that unattractive heterosexuals can find companionship in eachother, but you have to be attractive to find a gay mate.

i dont really know what that says about them as a group, but I havent met a gay man that disagrees with that statement.

www.groundedfitness.com

Posted by Grounded Fitness on August 12 at 04:00pm

Speaking of attractiveness..Did y'all see this... so sad! The girl with talent was not deemed pretty enough so a "pretty" girl took her place and lipsynched.

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news?slug=ap-china-lip-synchedsong&prov=ap&type=lgns

Posted by Elle on August 12 at 05:54pm

Oh, wow! Sounds like a fun time! I'm so sad I missed all the eye candy... :)

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