GOOP- It's like POOP, but with a G!

G. Pal wants you to nourish your "inner aspect." Um...Qu'est-ce que c'est?

When I think of Gwyneth Paltrow, the following things come to mind:

1) Ill-fitting pink dress
2) Besties with Madge
3) Fetishy-y shoes
4) Eats seaweed and unhulled rice
5) Dated Brad Pitt AND sported matching haircuts (This means she most likely swapped bodily fluids with the Man God, thus redeeming herself in my eyes from the crime committed in #1)
6) Named her little boy after a baby in a basket (Incidentally, I just asked Dan, "Who was Moses? Was he God?" and he actually put the Cubs season tickets salesperson he was talking to on hold to turn and look at me like I was the craziest person on earth. And he threatened to call my grandmother, who will no doubt be terribly saddened and disappointed to hear that after 16 years of Sunday and Hebrew school, I still asked this question.)

Anyhow. Gwyneth has a brand new lifestyle and advice website inexplicably called Goop.com Um, according to the American Heritage Dictionary:

"goop" (gōōp)
n. Slang
A sticky wet viscous substance.
[Perhaps alteration of goo.]

The sticky wet site is divided into sections like "Make," "Go," "Do," and "Be." She tells us "My life is good because I am not passive about it. I want to nourish what is real, and I want to do it without wasting time. I love to travel, to cook, to eat, to take care of my body and mind..." blah blah blaaaaaah.

Understandably, a BlogLand backlash sprung to life as soon as Goop did. As the bloggers at the LA Times put it, "apparently no one wants to take life direction from the girl who has it all." I *get* the negative reaction - it's like, Oh, really? You like to travel? You love to eat and care for your body? Wow, that is REALLY relatable. Stars - they're just like us! Her advice may come from a good place but when Gwyneth urges me in soft gray font to "Pause before reacting" or to "Go to a city you've never been to," it incites a mini-fury inside me. Like, duh, of course I want to out the kabosh on my PMS-fueled freakouts...of course I want to fly to Rio and dance in the street for beads...but I don't have a private therapist (OK, I do, but still) or lear jet or bazillions of dollars to make all of this happen at the encouraging snap of her manicured fingers. Her Bad Mother at BlogHer put it very nicely when she said, "Gwyneth looks to be aspiring to be a wellness-oriented Martha...but please: I'm functioning on no sleep and am very, very lucky if I can get matching socks on my preschooler and pick stray Cheerios up off the floor, never mind keep fresh flowers around and set aside an hour in the morning for yoga and organic fruitshakes. I mean, it'd be nice, but it ain't gonna happen and I get depressed just thinking about it."

In other words, when Gwyn tells us not to be lazy, to workout, stick with it and "Goop. Make it great," we all kind of have to throw up in our collective mouths a little bit.

It's interesting because, like millions of other women, I don't get my panties in a bunch when, say, Oprah tells me my poop should be the consistency of toothpaste (yes, she said this) or when Jamie Lee Curtis challenged magazines to show women as they really look. Why is this - what makes us relate to one celeb over another? Is it because Oprah came from such a disadvantaged, hard knock background and pulled and clawed her way to the top, while Gwyneth was born into a Tori Spelling-like existence? Or looking to our fellow bloggers, why don't we get all up in arms when our e-friends talk to us about being thankful or taking five minutes to smell the flowers or encourage us to eat organically? Indeed, many of us thrive on such advice and are able to implement real changes in our life as a result of it.

What makes you relate to a celebrity - or any other woman, for that matter? Are there some actresses who just bug the crap out of you and you wish they'd hop in a limo and be driven far, far away? Models or singers who instill hatred totally independent of their bodies? Who do you like/actually want to hear from, and who needs to shut up?

Oh, and in more "Stars - They're Just Like Us!" news, Gwyneth works out "freaking hard" - for proof, click here! I will admit, I do tend to abide by the philosophy she mentioned to Oprah recently about avoiding dieting: "It's worth it to me to do that extra exercise so I can eat what I want and not think about it." Hence the heaping mug-full of Betty Crocker Fudge Brownie mix which I took down last night, with a spoon and a happy face, while watching The Office. Yay Pam and Jim!

Comments

For lunch today, I had pb & j in a bowl (no bread) and stirred in some pieces of dark chocolate. so I feel that I'm not dieting, and therefore might be just like Gwyneth :)

It's weird which celeb-advice bothers & which doesn't. The architect gags whenever he hears Oprah's name, I don't....but I just don't feel like Gwyneth has much of use to tell me.

I think you've hit the nail on the head with the problem that "real" women have with celebrities telling them how to live: it just doesn't feel authentic or relatable coming from a woman who has all the resources to make it happen as flippantly as she describes it. It sounds so easy to just fly off somewhere exotic when you're Gwyneth Paltrow. If you're in the 99.9%, though, you have to work "freaking hard" just to get a measly paycheck that might just be enough for you to save up for years on end so that you can use all your vacation days for the year to take that trip to a city I've never been to. Oh, but we're supposed to be able to take care of our bodies at the same time? Drat, there goes the gym membership. . .

The difference with Oprah is that she knows who her audience is. There's nothing wrong with grand lessons that involve going the extra mile to take care of yourself and live life to the fullest, but put it in terms that are accessible.

I think it has to do with who you feel is in touch with reality. Oprah, for example, at least has had her struggles. Through her weight challenges and her upbringing and being not only a woman, but an African American woman, you know Oprah knows what's real and appreciates what she's got and the struggle to get it.
Gwynnie has never struggled with her weight (that I know of.) Gwynnie doesn't know what it's like to look at a stack of bills and her paycheck and try to work it out. Gwynnie, for all intents and purposes, does not live in the real world. I do, and I need role models who do.

I also think it's particularly bad timing to launch a website like this when the economy is in the gooper-um-pooper. When families are being forced out of foreclosed homes, banks are going under, the stock market is tanking, and ink slips are flying around like confetti at a superbowl parade. It's sort of Marie Antionette-ish: I'm sure she means well, but it comes off as holier-than-thou.
She does, after all, have not one, but several pilates reformers (at $4,000 bucks a pop) at all of her homes (none of which have, so far, been foreclosed upon)in her private gyms.
She was never a struggling actress. She was on stage at Williamstown with her mom at the age of, I believe, 17 (a contract most actors would gladly sell a limb for).
Yes, she's talented and lovely, and I don't begrudge her any of her success. We also have no way of knowing what her personal struggles have been. But I'm guessing putting food on the table was not one of them.

Stacey and Alyssa nailed my thoughts exactly. I can't think of anything to add to their intelligent and well-said points. Except that I am having a totally adolescent (and slightly perverted) giggle at the name Goop. What? It's late...

Great points made here. Is Gwynneth really so far up her own behind that she believes this will endear her to us?

Personally, I signed up for this site as soon as I heard about it precisely so I could laugh about it with my friends. Celebrities are not one of us. They are hollow vessels whose sole purpose is to be chucked out in front of us for our entertainment day in, day out, like the Barbie dolls we played with when we were little (only these Barbies walk and talk and make their own websites!) I wonder that a stunt like this isn't intended to be pure satire, because that's honestly the only way I can take it. It's a delightful, ridiculous, fluffy distraction for the rest of us to coo, bitch and bond over.

Good work Gwynnie! I pray you keep getting more ludicrous as the years go by.

TA x

Toothpaste, really? Hm. Didn't know that. Making a note.

It so torques me off when a celeb says "It's worth it to me to do the extra exercise" - um, okay, maybe you have time for more exercise. I'm going flat out and doing all I have the time and strength for, and I STILL can't eat whatever I want! If 2 hours a day isn't doing it, I doubt that 4 will, and it sure wouldn't be healthy. [Also, a big, big part of me does NOT believe she eats whatever she wants. That girl lives on an elliptical or a Pilates machine and eats brown rice. I have to believe this to stay sane.]

Anyway, everybody else said it better than I can, especially at 7:30 on a Saturday. :-) So...yeah, what they said.

V.

I think the reason I adore Oprah and hate Gwyneth is because Oprah takes an interest in other people. She is genuinely and sincerely interested in hearing from others, even if she doesn't agree. She helps others with her money and time. But mostly, she doesn't feel it is beneath her to interact with everyday people.

Whereas Gwyneth Paltrow makes a website that will allow her to tell other people what to do without ever having to meet them or talk to them. And have you noticed the website is not a forum for users? It is purely a forum for Gwyneth to tell other people what to do.

Hate it. Hate her.

I just can't relate. Her workouts look lame too. "No woman should lift more than 3 pounds??!!" You have got to be kidding me. At this point, I can't think of an actress or movie star that I really can say- gee you're cool. Not an oprah fan either. Who has time to watch TV let alone get to the movies?

more importantly (wink) how on earth will Gywnnie be able to do it all with her two hour a day workout?
can she still find the time to flail about the three pound weights AND provide us with our goop??

and TA I signed up as well for the same reason.

and Gwynneth can only HOPE to get more ludacris :) as time goes on.

or perhaps she dont love Christopher Bridges as I do.

I didn't sign up because I don't need more junkmail. I'm really bothered by how little content her site has. If you're going to make an admittedly nifty site and claim to tell us how to make our lives better at least PUT SOMETHING ON THE SITE! Every link I clicked gave me the same message. Don't make a big deal over your blog if you aren't going to post something.

And honestly, the whole concept of her site reminds me of "Real Simple". Don't get me wrong, I love Real Simple, it's a guilty pleasure for me. But it doesn't always offer practical advice for people that aren't independently wealthy.

Still, I'll probably check back from time to time when I'm bored--it seems like it could be at least mildly amusing.

Wow. That site made me giggle. I want my own site. I'll call it "JOOP".

What the heck does "GOOP" stand for? "Gwenyth's Outrageous & Obvious Passages"?

I don't know... to be honest I feel kinda bad for Gwyneth Paltrow right now. I've always enjoyed her as an actress and she seems nice enough; I think she had really good intentions with her website. It's just that we DON'T understand it because we aren't from that social class, I suppose- we can't relate.

But I think that as, well, weird, as the site seems, she doesn't really deserve to have everyone criticize her for it. I think she's TRYING to appear relate-able and real- which is part of the problem. It's trying to hard. But I think its just on a basis of trying to connect with us average folk.

I've always thought of her as pretty harmless. I like her.

Celebrities - don't care. Doesn't bother me. Good for whoever manages to be happy. If it bothers you, don't look!

I have to chime in on the diet-doesn't-work-for-me thing; I've discovered that that is exactly right. I tend to be fittest and lose weight if I'm exercising and eating well (by well, pretty much what I want without too much processed food/junk). If I start looking at calories or trying to cut out too much fat or carbs, my weight either stagnates or goes up - I think that, because I'm very strong, I give myself too little calories for fuel (even at the upper end of what's desirable for someone of my height/weight), and my metabolism freaks out (I have doctor-proven hypoglycemia, which probably doesn't help) and my body goes into starvation-mode and tries to store fat from everything. But if I eat until full and have whatever I'm craving (but not junk), I exercise better and get fitter AND thinner! (But not scary-thin. I have hips and breasts and a sexy firm round backside if I do say so myself!)

For me that the difference is that while Oprah has experts on her show giving advice, Gwyneth is her own expert. Plus, Oprah earned her stripes over time and Martha (and others) have credentials behind their names. I don't see a reason to care about what she thinks. I will never have a staff of people at my disposal to make my life easier, so every day is focused on doing the best I can with what I got.

Strangely enough, I have absolutely no interest in how Gwyneth thinks I might better lead my life.

On the other hand if her mom started an advice website I'd be all over that. (I've always been a big Blythe Danner fan).

I usually just let celebrity advise wash past me and don't really give serious though to it. Because as other posters have mentioned, they have different priorities than the "real" person. Their schedules (and paychecks) normally allow them more time and resources to work out, eat healthy, that kind of thing. So everything from celebrities comes with a grain of salt.

And it is all about being relatable. I tend to relate to the celebrities who buck the norm, like speaking out against the crazy thin body image society calls for, or getting involved with political/social causes (instead of just soap-boxing about their diets/exercise/whatever).

I tend to ignore celebrities all together. The only difference between us and them is what they can afford and who they know. "Talent" is a matter of perspective.

My first impression was, "um ok, we're off to a really cold out of touch start." It will be interesting to see what kind of content is available at the full launch. Hopefully Gwyneth will warm up by then. If not, gotta say that the crystal ball is not showing promise for her at least in the blogosphere.

Don't pass the Goop. How about a Delicious Monster smoothie?