Starbucks totally stole my oatmeal idea but I love them anyways

I am totally wearing this for Halloween. Or to temple for the Jewish New Year. Latte, green tea, or...me?

I may not be a barista, but I play one on TV. OK, it's an imaginary TV that only plays inside my head and on the 7and1/2 floor of select John Malkovich movies, but nonetheless, Starbucks must be very impressed with my faux celeb status because they asked me to moderate this Better Breakfast Hour at a 24-hour (!!) Chicago location this morning.

Now, before you start wetting your pants with caffeine-drenched excitement, I should tell you the event was small - only a few bloggers showed up, plus some people from corporate. Everyone was lovely and I learned a lot about how massively involved some bloggers get with their work - the two women, MJ Tam of momviews.net and Jen of function & space actually Twittered from the event, which is one of those Facebook-y words like "poke" and "friended" that I just totally do not understand.

Anyway.

Starbucia, that devilish green medusa-mermaid monster, has launched a new line of healthy breakfast items, just in time to save me from the Fall fat bomb that is the Top Pot Chocolate Old Fashioned Doughnut. Their thinking is that, considering a whopping 70% of Americans skip breakfast on any given day, why not ply us with fiber-rich/calorie-controlled/protein-enhanced products to keep us from embarking on an office-wide M&M scavenger hunt come 3pm.. Which is very thoughtful of them.

Here's what I sampled in my Official Starbucks Flight o' Foods, along with pertinent nutritional points and my honest-to-blog (ew - I just managed to gross myself out with that Juno ref) reactions to each. I am trying to remain impartial, even though Dan has accused me of changing my website address to www.starbucksgavemefreefoodsoIwillwritewhatevertheywant.com :

1) Multigrain Roll with Spreads
Honestly, I thought this would be just totally eh. I'm not a big roll person. But the thing is dense, sweetened with honey, and comes with a single serve packet of almond butter which I have never tried and now wear as perfume, I love it so much. One of the mombloggers pointed out that for kids with tree nut allergies, like her boys have, this is a great choice. Who knew almonds didn't grow on trees? Not I, said the Nutritional Sciences major.

2) Apple Bran Muffin
Sure, the giant blueberry monsters in the pastry case look delish but with these, you know you're only getting 330 calories plus 7 grams each of fiber and protein. It also has chunks of baked apples, tart cherries and is enriched with Omega-3s. And no, it doesn't taste like fish. Boo on fishy muffins.

3) Baked Berry Stella
This snack reminds me of Stella B. Zotis, the leather-obsessed designer who just got kicked off of Project Runway. The muffin/cake thing is star-shaped, which makes my inner 6-year-old all giggly and happy, and contains 15% of your recommended daily needs for Omega-3s. Whole grains, 10 grams of fiber (which is HUGE) and made with cage-free eggs for those of you who take your chicken birthing seriously.

4) Chewy Fruit & Nut Bar
Meh. The other bloggers loved this because you can really see all the ingredients - dried apricots, pecans, pumpkin seeds - but I wasn't doing jumping jacks over it. Just a bar, IMO. I like these better.

5) Protein Plate
The Miz will love this, methinks. You get a hard-boiled egg, cheese, mini whole grain bagel, PB and fruit. With 16 grams of protein, it's like eating a chicken breast except more complicated but tastier. And better for vegetarians who think eating a chicken breast is akin to throwing yourself into a lake of morally corrupt evil. Jen The Blogger did point out that for kids with allergies, this would be a nightmare - wheat, eggs, dairy, nuts. It would be like forcefeeding Tyra a pill that sucks away the ability to smile with your eyes. Or somesuch.

6) "Perfect" Oatmeal
OK, let's get serious. Starbucks totally stole my idea. As you know, I have perfected the art of making oatmeal on the go, bringing Ziplock baggies full of the stuff wherever my travels may take me. My local Starbucks baristas are so familiar with it, they have a Grande cup of boiling water and spoon at the ready when I blow through the front door. So I'm bitter about this oatmeal corporate takeover. That said, I do like how you can customize your oats, with pre-portioned 100-cal packs of dried fruit and nuts or 50-cal packs of brown sugar, plus milk from the bar. But I'll be sticking with my patented baggie o' oats.

Now, for those of you who stuck with me through this smacks-of-Starbucks-payroll-but-I-didn't-get-paid blog, I have a little treat. Leave a comment telling me, oh, I don't know, what your favorite coffee shop treat is or how you take your coffee or who your favorite Gossip Girl character is (*coughBlakeLivelycough*) and in a day or so I'll instruct a select six of you to email me your addresses for an exchange of items which I can't talk about because of legal technicalities but will be emotionally and gastronomically satisfying to you nonetheless.

Love,
Your favorite corporate slut

Comments

Two words: Oreo Cheesecake. Yes, it's fill with artery clogging fat, pounds of sugar and who knows what else but my local starbucks carries this and OMG. It's an mouthgasm. You have no idea.

Two words: Oreo Cheesecake. Yes, it's fill with artery clogging fat, pounds of sugar and who knows what else but my local starbucks carries this and OMG. It's an mouthgasm. You have no idea.

So much for healthy, but I love the Expresso Brownies at Starbucks. It's the best. Add to that a skim latte and a bottle of water and I'm a happy girl. Oh and the fruit salad is pretty swell too.

Skinny vanilla latte! Skinny vanilla latte! Skinny vanilla latte!

Oh, sorry, did I get a little TOO excited at the thought of the treat I can only have a few times a year because I live 1000 miles (literally) from the nearest Starbucks?

But you have me confused: Fishy muffins? Does Starbucks serve those?

Venti Non Fat Chai Latte...hello, lova!

I'm addicted to the Tazo Chai Tea Lattes at Starbucks (and I go in stages where I am addicted to the Old Fashioned Doughnuts, thankfully they are often out of them in the evening when I stop by)

I rarely go to Starbucks in the morning, but I might have to check out their new breakfast items, especially a star shaped Stella. Everything tastes better in star shape!

Fave Sbux treat: oat fudge bar. NOT healthy.

My drink order: tall nonfat vanilla latte with extra foam.

Gossip Girl: do not watch. Please tell me I'm not disqualified.

I'm all about the Carmel Frappucino. I know you can get 'lite' versions, but that's just not as much fun. :)

I'm pretty sure almonds do actually grow on trees - they are related to peaches.

I hate Starbucks with a passion, and living in the Pacific NW, land of coffee, have many other options, but the new breakfast foods do sound pretty good.

No Starbucks on my way to work, so I will stick to coffee from my local Java Moose coffee shop (yes, that is really a coffee shop) and the breakfast I bring from home (fruit & yogurt). :)

Just started drinking coffee and fell in love with a new flavor I found (will leave company name out so as not to ruin your Starbucks theme!)--Pumpkin Pie Spice. Thank goodness it's seasonal or else I'd be broke and wired beyond recognition.

i tried the perfect oatmeal the other day (with the brown sugar). it was good. a little soupy for my test, but tasty.

i'm actually in starbucks season now thanks to the glorious wonder that is the PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE. *drool* i've been getting a tall nonfat one lately and it's just as good. really. i'm scared about adding protein to it, though.

no gossip girl over here, but i do watch project runway. :)

The giant cookies. I don't care which one, and I don't care how many calories it has! They're all delicious and now I want one.

~Count me out of the contest, though. I've got my hookups in GP's old coworkers!~

I'm a medium (or large, depending on level of exhaustion) Coffee of the Day gal, myself. And, yes, I avoid saying words like "Venti" and "Grande" as my own subliminal way of sticking it to The Man.

When I was pregnant I would waddle down to my Starbucks for my non-fat decaf latte every afternoon. Not sure what the point of drinking something with no fat and no caffiene was...but it made this homonally crazed woman happy.

hmmm--the pumpkin spice latte, the tall lite coffee frappacino, or the lite, sugar free cinnamon dolce latte--isn't it great to have so many choices!!

I am SO excited about this new roll out! Thanks for the reviews. (But I will boycott the oatmeal. After all, they did steal YOUR idea!)

I may have just shouted "Hallelujah" across the rows of cubicles outside my door!

Starbucks equals love to me, and their new line of deliciousness equals a cartoon version of me with the little hearts popping out of my eyeballs and a violin solo playing in the background.

Thank you for the reviews!

And my absoulte most favorite beverage is their Chai Tea Latte no water, skim milk because then it tastes so earthy and wonderful...mmm....

I like to get a carmel mach. every now and then or a vanilla bean for my son

Hi, Leslie: I am a relatively new fan of your blog. I read from Mexico City (yes, I am Mexican) since a month or to ago. I like that you don't take health as a pain or as a way to please society's views of what a women should be, and instead you promote health like something that makes you well in the long term.

About your Starbucks question, they recently open one near where I live, but I haven't had the opportunity to go. Any way, in general I love cappuccinos in every possible imaginable combination.

Ah, and I just answered because I wanted to left a comment, I know that if you are giving something away after some sort of lottery or something, in my case it will be very difficult, :)

How timely this post is! I walked down to the 'bucks (one of three within a 7-minute walk from the office) just yesterday to grab a grande mild I was immediately drawn to this oatmeal thing! Is it instant or rolled oats, I asked? What are these stir-ins? I swear you have never seen a more excited person! Thanks for the blog test!!!

Favorite coffee shop treat: dark chocolate covered espresso beans (some students turn to adderoll for an extra boost, I just go to Starbucks...)

wow.

pretty impressive.

(*scratches head) didnt I read recently that howard schultz just shed a bunch of weight?
I wonder if that had anything to do w/the revamped menu.

M.

YAY! I love Starbucks. My nutrionist turned me on to the Grande Skinny Vanilla Misto...it only has about 80 calories and it taste like a Skinny Vanilla latte! It has the added bonus of being about $2.50 less as well! In non starbucks stores this is a cafe au lait!

MMMMMM...coffee cake!!! Iced white chocolate mocha with whipped cream, yum! Gotta be careful, though. I just had a whole bunch of dental work done.

I LOVE the doubleshot coffee, and the fruit and cheese plate. Gotta try that multi-grain roll next. And perhaps Alaina's new favorite...

I used to be a Starbucks barista several years ago - back in the days when I couldn't have cared less about how many and what kinds of calories I ate! My favorite thing to make for myself was an iced grande white chocolate mocha with --get this-- caramel sauce generously drizzled over the top of the ice instead of whipped cream, because WC desintigrates into an icky texture on top of cold drinks - ew!

I also LOVED LOVED LOVED having a pumpkin scone whever I could get my hands on a "freebie" ("oops! I touched it with my bare fingers on accident - must not sell it to a customer!")

Now that I'm older (cough-PutOnWeightEasier-cough) and wiser about my food & drink choices, my fav drink is a tall soy chai latte (hot). Only about 175 calories and mmm, the chai and the (vanilla) soy are a perfect flavor match.

And I don't have a TV, so sadly I cannot watch Gossip Girls or any of these newfangled shows I've been hearing all about. Boohoo.

You have me drooling all over my keyboard right now. (Ew.)

Heart Blake Lively.

I love going into coffee shops and just staring at the wonderful selection they have behind that glass window. So much deliciously large comfort foods, all together as one! I love lemon/blueberry loaf cakes, banana bread, and blueberry muffins. Also those MASSIVE warmchewygooey chocolate chip or peanut butter or gingerbread-type cookies.

Um. I think I might just have named every baked good that is at most coffee shops. Yummy!

Seriously, oatmeal is not a new concept and now they're going to make tons of money off it. I bet I'll order it!

Anyway, v. jealous of your tasting experience.

Heather

My drink of choice when it's cold out: Venti Skinny Hazelnut two splenda latte (yeah, my husband still can't remember it!) I don't feel too bad about that one. My hot weather drink of choice it a grande mocha frap. Not healthy, but soooooo delicious.
Thanks for the reviews!

Very jealous to read about your new US additions (and undoubtedly US-only giveaway!). My friends are all boring ethical warriors so shun the 'Bucks but when I'm working down in London on my own I often stop in for a coffee. However I usually sit there hungry because their tasty delights are all waaaay too naughty for me. So the THOUGHT of us EVER getting healthy breakfast options over here makes me weep.

Are the 'Bucks people reading this?

BRING THE HEALTHY STUFF TO THE UK!

I don't want to be hungry just because your coffee is good and you always have somewhere to sit.

Thanks

TA x

Leighton Meester!

Blair is definitely my favorite. She's so much more interesting than Serena. Also, I like brunettes.

(pick me!! I

Double tall 1/2 sweet soy no-whip no-sprinkles cinnamon dolce latte

Can't stand starbucks but I read the entire entry! =)
Also have to go with Leighton Meester...so awesome
Love ya Leslie!

I know this post is supposed to show the Starbucks love but I cannot live without the Panera Hazelnut Coffee. Love, love, LOVE it!!! Every weekend morning, I sprint across the street as soon as the shop opens and get this large cup of deliciousness. And some bagel pieces from the sample display--since I am usually the first one there, the samples are not all germ-y yet.

But I do start my workday mornings with Starbucks (only because there is not a Panera near my office).

I have "patented" my own *$ idea... Order a Venti Iced Cafe con Leche
Put in sugar free syrup(s)
Tell them light ice
Then ask them to blend it
It comes out as a low calorie, CHEAPER frapalike.
AND it gets aerated and a good barista will give you the extra in another cup. Yum.

Creative slutty college girl costume? I'd totally wear that ;)

Anyways, the oatmeal sounds delish, but I'll stick to my Sam's Club 55 count Quaker Oats variety pack. Only $9!!! Faaantastic.

I'm excited! I'm glad you got the inside scoop. My hubbie and I used to go to a local fair trade and organic coffee shop called Pachamamas every sat. morning and I loved their iced coffee but sadly I don't think they made it money wise due to bad local so now we're back to Soybucks as I like to call it. It's always difficult for me to say what I want and get it right and I hate when I forget the iced part and I end up getting handed a hot drink.... it's a grande iced caramel white chocolate mocha - soy - extra shot. It was a special one time and now I'm hooked and the people don't always know how to add the caramel but I like it added as a syrup and it drizzled on top! I'm excited about the new line because I might actually get food now! The only thing I've ever tried is banana nut bread because you can't mess that up! I don't watch T.V. but I have read the gossip girl books - way addicting.

They've closed down a tonne of starbucks here in Oz in the last month, but the one around the corner from my work is still there.
I don't tend to go there very often though because Sydney has a MASSIVE coffee/cafe culture, so you can get a great cup of coffee just about every 5 metres in the city. Hmmmmmmm coffeeeeeee.

I don't like coffee or anything to do with it, haha, I'm a horrible person, I know.

The coffee shop down the street that I used to frequent just closed down, it was called "Murky Waters" which sounds kind of awful, but they had really awesome home-made cookies that had me in there every couple of days. :)
I shudder to think of their calorie content, so I never asked.

Well, Blair is my favorite character, but I love me some Blake Lively!

Okay, I just ate but now I am totally craving every single one of these. And there's a Starbucks about a block away. Could be a problem. I'm getting a Baked Berry Stella, I can tell you that, if it takes me a year. How can you not love a star-shaped...well, anything?

Personally, my favorite thing is when they have those pumpkin chai spice latte thingies. I think they're only seasonal but oh my GOD are they amazing. Otherwise, I'm boring plain-vanilla chai latte girl.

And now I must call my Starbucks and see if they're offering this stuff yet. I"m not even kidding.

V.

Oh, pick me! I love the new smoothies! The mango orange banana is great!

skinny cinnamon dolce latte! yummmm.

xoxo

this must be starbucks week in the blogosphere *wink*

your comments cracked me up!

My fave drink is a skinny pumpkin latte.

And I hate to admit, but I heart gossip girl. Dan & Serena are my favorites, and both are gorgeous!

The only time I see Starbucks is in airports, but I Ah-Dore the Mint Frappucino - and it can even be light... or so I hear.

I totally agree with you on the chewy fruit and nut bar. They were giving out samples at my Starbucks earlier this week and I was decidedly underwhelmed. That multigrain roll sounds excellent, though; almond butter is just about the greatest concoction on the planet. . . right after cashew butter.

My drink of choice: venti decaf Americano with half & half, one packet of cane sugar, and a sprinkling of cinnamon. Or, if I'm feeling dangerous, a soy chai latte.

I absolutely looooove hazelnut mocha...with "all" the trimmings...I only have it ever so often because it does not agree with my waist line, but a girl's gotta get her fix now and then ;) Otherwise I make my own at home...homeade coffee from freshly grounded hazelnut coffee beans...yum!

Hot cocoa from Starbucks... so chocolatey and yummy!

oh, I don't know.... skinny vanilla latte, coffee back with faux sugar, SERENA!

Ok I read Oreo Cheesecake in the comments above and now that's all I can think of.

So is it an Oreo Cheesecake? Can it be?

Jenn

I don't do coffee but I definitely do the Lemon Iced Pound Cake once every blue moon. Oh and Team Blair!

I hope the mom with the child with tree nut allergies does NOT give the kid almond butter. Almonds do in fact grow on trees. check out www.foodallergy.org

Double Tall Skim Sugar Free Cinnamon Dolce Latte...i refuse to say "skinny"!

Starbucks goes skinny... I'm pretty excited about this. I need to get to my nearest one and see/taste the options for myself.