Strangers with produce

There I was, minding my own business, peeling an orange in the late September sun on State and Delaware in Chicago. I looked cute, yes, but not spectacular. I wasn't even wearing my booty-enhancing shorts. Just a Lucy running skirt (FORESHADOWING ALERT! FORESHADOWING ALERT! Stay tuned tomorrow...really) and sports bra top, about to hit the gym.

I attribute what happened next to either
a) Scurvy
b) Male hormones
c) Just a nice guy with pure intentions (note - this never happens)

"Would you mind if I shared your orange?"

The voice came from behind me and I turned to see a nice-enough-looking young lad, mid-20s with a backpack on, smiling over my shoulder. He did not appear homeless of malnourished. I should know better than to share fruit with strangers but I was on a busy street and hey, maybe he was just thirsty. Plus, I appreciated his originality and approach (he could have just whistled or hooted, right?), so I rewarded him like a good little puppy with not one, but TWO juicy orange segments. This was actually less a show of generosity and more my not wanting to get juice all over my fingers when peeling a single segment off.

Alas, he did not only want some of my fruity booty.

Scurvy Boy: "SO! What are you doing?"

Me: "I'm just eating an orange."

Scurvy Boy: "And you got all dressed up in this (motioning to my workout gear) to eat an orange?!"

Me: "No, I did other things today, too. Besides eat the orange, I mean."

Blessed pause. Interrupted by...

Scurvy Boy: "So...who ARE you?"

Me (now copping a mild attitude): "I'm just a girl. Just a girl with an orange."

Here, I now realize, would have been the perfect time to insert the words "happily married' between the words "just a" and "girl." But I was more concerned about getting this guy to Vitamin C his way about of my private space.

I remained silent and realized he was beat. There would be no witty banter. I would not be asking him where he was headed, or what he did for a living, or even what he looks for in a good cantaloupe.

Scurvy Boy: "That's all I'm gonna get?"

Me: "Yup. 'Fraid so."

And...scene.

Comments

Did he EAT the orange sections that you gave him? I am majorly impressed with your generosity in sharing it with a stranger on a whim. Definitely creative of him to try and score some free orange AND some digits :-)

Wow. . . I'm sitting here wondering what I would have done in that situation, and I can't even think of anything!

Points for creativity, I guess! Strange and random, though.

I, personally, would have done this classic maneuver: Blatantly use the left hand to brush some hair out of your face, thus showing off the wedding ring. Make sure to do it slowly enough so that Scurvy boy notices it. Works pretty well, although some guys still don't care.

Seriously?? That's such an interesting and BOLD approach, huh? I love your line, "Just a girl with an orange." Way to stump him. :)

Totally agree with FatFighter: very new and unique approach, and an AMAZING response!

CREEPY!!

Definitely a bold approach, I appreciate that, that takes balls. Also sounds kind of awkward too. I can't imagine going up to someone and asking for their food. I loved how you kept referring to him as Scurvy Boy though!

Hehe, that's funny. Gotta hand it to him for the originality of asking for the orange! Way better than someone yelling "you're hot!" out of a car... although still somewhat creepy:)

Girl, I loved the exchange of the words and um the fruit! LOL...that was awesome...bet it made you day too huh...how original of him!!!

But what happened...did he get the hint and move on??? any other word exchanged???

that was rather fantastic - on both your parts.

Ha, I'm pathologically possessive about my food, so I would have given him a black eye (with my free hand, naturally, heaven forfend anything should happen to my snack)!

I love the "just a girl with an orange" line. It sounds like it should be part of some profound Chinese proverb.

TA x

I'm not sure what I'm more impressed by -- your ability to turn a guy into a citrus craving bafoon or your ability to wear a sports bra top out in public without a second thought...

haha - slackermama, I most certainly was NOT only wearing a sportsbra - it was a tank top with a built-in shelf bra. What kind of an athletic tramp do you take me for?

Mari - he moved on but somehow we just happened to "run into" each other twice more on the same street. I prefer to think he was not stalking me but...

blech!

If you ever get tired of getting hit on by sweet young things, all you need is a passle of toddlers hanging off your legs and - whammo - problem solved! You can borrow mine if you are in the market;)

BTW, I am rather impressed with his creativity and guts. But hey, at least he got some free orange segments out of it! lol

I agree with Charlotte, creative and courageous. Me? I would have run away. I have strangers.

Do they make booty dehancing shorts?

I think I would have talked to him for a minute just to reward the fresh approach. Plus it always feels so good to get hit on by a stranger in a creative manner. Makes you feel like they not only noticed your hotness but took the time to come up with something original to say. That takes some brains and guts. LOL

Jenn

wow! bold and creative, I love it! I too would have engaged him in conversation simply because he wanted to talk to me!
how sad is that? LOL!

Note to self: buy oranges. :)

Thank goodness you were eating a fruit that sections off easily. I would don't know what his line would have been if you were nibbling on a banana...haha.

A for effort, but F for follow-through! He didn't have anything clever to say after your "Just a girl with an orange" comment? Bad form! Great story, Leslie. :)

I smell an Oscar - Girl With An Orange, sequel to Girl with Pearl Earring. I guess Scarlett's playing you, huh? :-)

This was a great LMAO moment, thanks. Poor little guy...you gotta give him credit for ingenuity and initiative, but definitely not for conversational ability. But at least he did know when to quit.

But yeah, I'd have been so pathetically grateful for the attention, I'd have probably given him the orange and offered to buy him more. :-)

V.

I love this!! Now how come I didn't get hit on when *I* went out on the Chicago streets?? Is it because I forgot my orange? Or was it the toddler on my leg?