That crazy woman wildly waving a pink boa at the Chicago Marathon? That was me.

Last year, during the most horrendous Chicago Marathon in recent history (Nothing to drink! People wilting like spinach! Fire trucks shooting massive blasts of water at runners to make them stop!), I zoomed all over God's green earth to watch my friend Heidi run. Frankly, I don't have a clue how she - or anyone - did it, as the mere act of CHEERING in that oppressive heat reduced me to a pile of human vanilla pudding once I returned home. I mean, who has to nap for three hours after WATCHING a marathon?

Anyhow, I was able to catch her at four stops last October - that's impressive, people - thanks to a girlfriend/fellow cheerer who understands how to read maps (a topographer, I am not), as well as the most fabulous cheering device ever invented. I know because I invented it. It is the Swiffer Mop-Boa (from here on, to be referred to as the SMB.)

I concocted said device while trying to figure out a way to ensure Heidi saw us amongst the throngs of sweaty, cheeseburger-eating fans and fellow runners dressed as bananas, horses and ballerinas. A small glitter-glue sign simply would not do. In a flash of brilliance, I ran to my laundry room, rabbed my beloved Swiffer and unscrewed the pole. Then I ran back across the family room to my basket o' whore-y clothes (held over from my club girl days and being saved in case I have a daughter one day and she wants to play dress-up in my black liquid latex leggings or tiger print triangle top). There, I fished a fluffy pink boa from the depths of my rhinestone-encrusted bras and attached one end of it to the Swiffer with a hair band. It was....sheer perfection.

Let me tell you, one million Chicagoans, plus assorted Kenyans and Lithuanians, were SO JEALOUS of my SMB. Everyone either wished they had one, or wished they had a friend who was waving one at them as they slogged by. Heidi said she could see me from miles away - in Chinatown, in Boystown, at the finish line - thanks to my soon-to-be-patented attention-getter. Those families holding Mylar balloons had nada on me. There's just nothing like a six foot tall girl waving a gigantic feathered apparatus high in the air to grab your eyes...and your heart. (*sigh*)

I'm not telling you this to be boastful (lie), but to share my idea with the world. The NY marathon is coming up - perhaps one or five WG readers will bring the SMB to the Big Apple? I actually reprised my creation this past weekend for this year's marathon, but sadly, I missed Heidi at two separate stops. I did, however, walk approximately four miles throughout the Chicagoland area with my SMB, making various pitstops at my gym, Walgreens, and the grocery store. I got a number of honks (who knew Mack truck drivers loved pink boas so much?) and a few little girls approached me with their moms, asking to pet it. Of course, I obliged, wrapping my flamboyant Davey Crockett-like tail around their necks (loosely! loosely!) I must say, it was a joy and honor for me to walk the streets of Chitown with the mop hanging over my shoulder, like a hobo carrying a bandana rucksack - only in Leslie's World, homeless people carry boas!

OK, let's turn this into a vaguely relevant conversation, shall we? FitSugar has a quiz up that I have totally copied and am posting here.

I ask because, quite frankly, I have less than one-half of sub-zero interest in running 26.2 miles. And I'm a fitness freak! I just, in my heart of workout-obsessed hearts, don't feel like my body is built for it. More than that, I fear the stress fractures and shredded ITBs and sheer exhaustion that so often accompany training for this kind of event. I walked 50 miles in three days a few years back with my sister-in-law to raise money for Multiple Sclerosis and by the end, my hips were popping out of their sockets and I'd dropped five pounds in 24-hours (OK, the latter was due to an ill-advised breakfast of bacon and choco-chip cookies which landed me in a public restroom for 50 hellish minutes, during which I lost part of my lower bowel, but that's another story for another post.)

I understand that for many people, the physical and emotional challenge of a marathon sings to them like Jordan crooning "The Right Stuff" in their ear (that's a shout-out to you, Gazelles on Crack! Loved your shitrtless pics!) Are you on of them? Have you ran a 'thon? Do you want to? Or think those people are crazy? I mean, not SMB crazy (obvs!) but just plain nutso.

Shout it out like you're wearing a boa in the Comments!

Comments

I was supposed to do the Portland marathon this year, but was derailed by my 'falling off a crate' injury. I've done a half - and it was awesome.

Next year, I'm hitting that 26.2!

(Thanks for the shout-out!)

I was just talking to a friend yesterday who ran the marathon in Chicago over the weekend! She had a great time in the city, and the next time I see her I'll ask about the pink boa!

I am a serious runner, but I feel marathon running will lead to injuries in most people, so I just run in the 5-10 mile range.

i trained for a half in may, but i fell 5 minutes into it (well, someone PUSHED me, to be exact). going to try it again next may

At mile 10 of the Baltimore Half Marathon in 2005, one of my running mates convinced a cross dressing spectator to give up his pink boa. I was SO jealous. By mile 11 she was bored with the boa and started to throw it away. I grabbed it from her, looped my fingers in the end pieces, and ran with the boa trailing behind me for the last 2.1 miles! My favorite photo from that race is me at the finish line with the pink boa, my medal, and a silver mylar blanket!

I honestly believe that some people are built for running and others are not. My husband and his sister can run for days, but I have trouble with anything more than a few hundred yards, even after training for a while. (Plus it HURTS!)

LOVE the SMB!!!!!! Brilliant!!!!

I've been thinking of walking a 1/2 marathon, maybe with Team In Training. We'll see. But running? Heck no!

The SMB is a brilliant idea!

I'm also intrigued by your "basket o' whore-y clothes". What a cool thing to have handy, as you never know when you may be called upon to dress like a ho!

And I'm with you: zero interest in marathon running, especially after hearing about the whole crapping your pants issue which happens to some runners--it may be a fairly remote possibility, but I ain't chancin' it.

we need to see some visuals of the SMB! What a great friend you are to go out and cheer your friends running in marathons especially in that heat. Having someone there to support you can make all the difference (speaking as a runner) :)

I'm signed up for a half marathon in December. If I manage to graduate by May, I'll likely sign up for a marathon in whatever city we happen to move to. It's definitely a huge goal of mine to make it 26.2!

I've run a marathon. I loved it! I'm planning to do one every year until I can't move anymore (this guy did it at 101 years old: http://abcnews.go.com/International/Story?id=4385601&page=1)

The crapping your pants deal is known as "Runner's Trots," and it sucks. It also happens to a lot of people.... I guess it just comes with the teritory.

Having run races, I can tell you that the fact you were there for your friend was HUGE for her, and the fun SMB added to the joy! Running is hard work and having supporters in the crowd means more to the runner than you will ever know :-)...PS I would totally want to pet your SMB too...so precious!

So, why no picture of this SMB? Does it really exist????

And I too, have absolutely no marathon running desires. I am not a runner anyway - I LOVE just about any other exercise though. I have been thinking about walking a marathon - I've heard of a lot of them specifically for walkers.

Oh, how I wish I could run a marathon. Even a half marathon. Heck, I'll be thrilled to no end if I ever manage to make it through a 5K in one piece. Alas, as Alyssa says, some of us just aren't built for running. Or at least that's what the physical therapist tells me. :(

In the meantime, I shall continue to be inspired by all the amazing folk to push themselves to the limits of human capability. You're all heroes!

I trained for a marathon last year and then got a stress fracture in my shin 3 weeks before the race. This year I didn't train for a marathon but ran 26.2 miles on my own (didn't have a race bib and didn't feel like being a bandit) and felt great! Although I gained 5 lbs in the process, which didn't feel so great. So having run the distance of a marathon I feel done with it. I've proved to myself I can do it and - honestly - I have no desire to ever do it again! Am I the only one who has ever not wanted to do it again? That's not even an option on your/Fit's poll!!

PS> I'm with cranky - let's see the contents of your 'ho basket!! Take pics pleeeeasssse???

I would rather stick pins in my eyes.

Just finished my fourth marathon. Yes, I struggled with pain and injuries when the long mileage days got up over 14. In 04 I ran one just after having Benjamin and I felt more elation and success with that one than with the most recent one. Honestly, I want to run a qualifing race for Boston, do Boston, and then I will STOP running marathons. I love little three and six mile runs, triathlons, and bike racing more. Much more fun and easy to train for.

I would love to do a marathon! I got into running because of my dad (who is 52, runs half marathons "so he can eat whatever he wants" :-P) and have done various 5ks, 10ks, and half marathons with him; if he decided he wanted to do a marathon I would definitely consider it!

I love running.. but there is NO way my body could handle running a marathon. I've had shin splints on and off for the last four years or so even to the point of stress fractures.. add that to the occasional tendinitis, my legs will pretty much explode. I love me a good 5K though!

Nah - I love running, but I want my knees to last me for more than a few more years. I would, however, definitely walk one - didn't even know that was an option! I will require a significant fan base all sporting SMBs in a rainbow of colors to make it through to the finish line though. ;)

No marathons for me! My back injury has put me off anything extreme for ages, I never want to suffer this inactivity again!

LOVE the boa idea. I might put eyes on mine and make it a woolly worm!

TA x

my best friend ran a marathon and peed blood for the entire next week. something is just not right about that.

loved this post, by the way. hilarious. and yes, i think you are on crack. either that or some serious seratonin.

Yeah, I'm...um...not really marathon material. I don't really run. Maybe for two minutes at a time on the treadmill (and I'm proud of that, my limit used to be about four steps!) but that's it. I'll speed walk for DAYS, no problem. But running, not so much.

But I completely admire those who do. I understand it's an enormous feeling completing one, as well it should be!

V.

Im a marathon fanatic.

as a cheerleader.
you running? I cheering.

sadly, Im still pretty much:

MizFit Runs If Chased

I'm 4 weeks away from running my first (and most likely last) marathon. I've managed to avoid injury so far. I use the 3 run/week style plan to train. I think that might help in reducing injury.

I wanted to do this because when I did my last half I felt a little "less than" as I watched the marathoners split away from us halfers. I want to know that just once I can go the distance. I have no dreams of going to Boston so one time should be enough. Even with only running 3 times a week this training gets to be a bit much.

I saw my friend today and YES, she remembers a crazed lady with a pink boa!!

I don't run unless I'm being chased.
That said-my knees just weren't made for it, and neither were my exertion induced asthma lungs. I commend anyone who runs a marathon.

Ummm...I want to see a picture of your feathered invention!

I definitely want to run a half marathon at some point, but considering I can barely motivate myself to run a 10k I don't really see it happening in the near future.

mazel tov to all those who have ran!! and to those who are dying to see the SMB, I may take a pic tonight...keep your eyes peeled!

part of me wants to run a marathon. realistically, until i get my feet fixed (feet of DOOM ... or just really bad bunions. either way), i'm not going to be able do do anything more than a 10k and even then, i'm not sure if the ol' feet are going to hold up for 6.2 miles.

in general though, i've told myself the day i have a real urge to run a marathon is the day i sign up for a half-ironman (or a full one). might as well go all the way, eh?

you rock, leslie!!! i am working with the bank of america chicago marathon now and we have heard so many positive things :) we need more brilliant spectators like you! heck, i'd love to fly you out with me when i run the USA half marathon champs in january :)

I was there running Chicago! Sad to say, I have no recollection of the amazing pink boa, but you may have been on the sidelines when I was having my mini-nervous-breakdown in the early miles, so I was kind of glazed and out of it.

But what changed my attitude and got me mentally "back on track" were all those amazing, generous Chicagoans cheering and offering bits of kindness from the sidelines. Between the guy who gave me green apple Jolly Ranchers and the blessed angel of ibuprofen around mile 13, I knew I couldn't quit. So shake that boa, because I guarantee you made a difference in a runner's morale.

I'll run a marathon again, for sure. But for my hometown marathon in February, I've decided that cheering others will be my contribution, rather than the run, as a way to pay it forward.

No running for me. I have never been a good runner. But I'm a swimmer, and I hear, making the change from swimming to running can be pretty brutal. I'll stick to swiming, I'd rather swim a mile than run a mile.

I remember reading one of your posts about the boa and the Chicago race last year. Can't believe I've been reading your blog for that long haha! =)