The B-I-G news

No, Palmtreechick, I am not preggers.

But I DO have a different sort of bun in the oven, you could say:

Weighting Game is moving!! My "bun" is the brand spanking new site NeverSayDiet.com, a fresh, new site powered by iVillage that offers real weight-loss and healthy living solutions for women of ALL shapes and sizes who want to feel great, be well and love their body. It's really no different from Weighting Game, except you'll need to change your bookmark to http://www.neversaydiet.com/body-image Eventually, the link will be http://www.neversaydiet.com/lesliegoldman -- I'll let you know when -- but for now, you can also read postings by fitness expert Lindsay Dunlap, "The Curvy Counselor" Liria Mersini, moi, and assorted BlogHer contributors (our beloved Zandria just posted something about Love Your Body Day).

This new site will have TONS of readers - all of whom you can turn on to YOUR blogs via comments (c'mon, admit it, you know you like that) - plus fabulous, original content. Stories on anything from Yoga Booty Ballet to obsessions with peanut butter to daily workout videos ...and at the beginning of the year, I'll be the featured body image coach helping guide readers (hopefully some of you!) through the 6-week NeverSayDiet Community Challenge.

To any of you who have found humor, solace, or friendship here at the Weighting Game, I am begging you really hope you switch out your bookmark so we can continue our relationship and keep talking about all things muffin top, airbrushing and Tree Pose. I'll likely continue to blog here in a limited capacity for the rest of the year, but Never Say Diet will be my major new home.

Lastly, I want to apologize to any of you whom have noticed a dearth of comments lately by me on your blogs. Now that my neck is getting better (doing the Happy Dance here would be the understatement of the decade), my hands have decided that 10 years of hunting and pecking is enough and I've got some major pain going on. I've drastically limited my typing time and recently bought this - I kid you not, it's for ages 8 and up - to relearn how to type without looking like I'm banging out a piano concerto. Last night, I learned where the home keys are. Baby steps.

I love and appreciate you all so much and am grateful for your patience and dedication. It means so much to me.

See you at NeverSayDiet.com!!!

Are you with me?!

PS MizFit is letting me guest blog tomorrow! Check me/us out!

Exciting news coming...

Stay tuned!

I wish everyone a wonderful, warm (it's 18 degrees here) weekend...
x,
Leslie

If Hello Kitty had a mouth, she would tell you to have a fun weekend! Poor Kitty...

My appetite: Lost and found edition

What do Jack, Sawyer, Freckles and my appetite all have in common?

They've all been Lost.

(bad dum bum)

About a month ago, I my appetite went buh-bye for a few days. The doctor had warned me this might happen - I was taking a new medication for some pain in my hands (carpal tunnel? disk-related? busting out one too many cans of whoopass? no one knows) and "anorexia" was a prominent side effect. But I'm not someone who just -whoopsies! - loses her appetite too easily (except for that whole pesky freshman year thing) so I was a bit shocked when, after three days of swallowing the capsules, I didn't want to swallow much else. What a bizarro feeling. I'd find myself wandering into the kitchen like a clueless nomad, unsatisfyingly opening and closing cupboards because nothing looked good. A full bag of caramely delicious, cream-filled Cow Tails went untouched. Not even my beloved oatmeal...or peanut better...or Swedish Fish looked all that special. I remember attending a party for a family friend and sitting at a fancy table with martini glasses full of M&Ms and I barely nursed a few. What kind of an embarrassment had I become?

Within a week, my hunger returned for pretty much everything except -- and I say this with a heavy heart -- sweets. Me, the girl who mixes up Betty Crocker brownie mix with water in a mug to feast on fudge sludge at 11pm. Who straps Rocky Road ice cream (light, but still) to her mouth like a feed bag. Who calls Dan on his way home from work and, filled with PMS-fueled desperation, begs him to stop at Sweet Mandy B's and pick me up a Whoopie Pie. Who finishes off her healthy breakfast of an egg white omelet and fruit with a mini Snickers bar. I didn't even eat candy corn over Halloween. I should have just dressed up as a Black Sheep and roamed the streets of Chicago with my head hung.

Now that about a month has passed, my cravings for sweets have returned...somewhat. And while I can still polish off a plate of espresso-cocoa mousse plus half of Dan's ice cream profiteroles (not that this happened last night or anything), in general I find myself eating less than half the amount of sugary snacks I used to.

This depressed me at first. I'm known for my sweets-a-holic nature. Cookies, brownies, birthday cake - that's my bag! But a funny thing happened on the way to the pharmacist: I've found myself taking a moment to ask myself," Do I really want a fistful of marshmallows right now?" And the answer is often no.

I feel like this is as close to Intuitive Eating as I've ever come. At night, if I find myself hungry after dinner, I've started gravitating toward fruit or hot cocoa or (gulp) yogurt. Yes, I fear I've become one of those crazy bridesmaids in the commercials who spoons a dollop into her mouth and says aloud, "This is "not having to catch the bouquet' good!" Um, cliche, much?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not becoming a treats teetotaler. I just see this seismic shift happening in my eating schedule and have wanted to vent about it for a while. So there it is. I'd love to hear your feedback - have you ever lost your appetite, maybe from the flu, or a new medication, stress or a break-up? And how did you deal with it?

Because being the U.S. military's first female four-star general is not enough

Airbrushing - it's not just for models anymore!

Army Gen. Ann E. Dunwoody was promoted to full general on Friday, making her the U.S. military's first female four-star general.

But according to the AP, in the original photo, she is wearing a uniform with three stars on it (in reference to her then-rank of lieutenant general); in the "after" photo - the one distributed by the Army to the media - she's somehow in military fatigues, a flag waving in the background. And the three stars are gone.

"Hey Army, could you get rid of a few errant stretch marks, too?"

Now, it's not like they gave her a lollipop head or lightened her skin or enhanced her bra size or bulked up her too-thin bod or anything. But still...couldn't they have found a new photo with the four star ranking? Even though the same woman is being represented, is this misleading the public? Yet another example of how pervasive airbrushing is, how it infiltrates areas far beyond fashion magazines and shapes, consciously or not, our view of women.

BTW< did I ever tell you my book jacket flap photo was touched up? You know, for my book on body image? Yeah.

Screw the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show...watch this instead

Don't get me wrong - Heidi Klum prancing around in a red bra and thong and 50-pound sequined angel wings sounds really interesting. A $5 million Black Diamond Fantasy Miracle Bra encrusted with white and black diamonds and rubies? Fascin-freakin-ating. Not not mention empowering and practicalc.

If the idea of watching Giselle the Gazelle strut the runway in dental floss sounds about as appealing as having your eyes poked out with lemon juice-soaked shishkabob skewers, join me in celebrating a real woman's body...and the sleek, leotard-clad physiques of three men:

I think my favorite moment comes during the dance sequence at 2:35 - for some reason the guy in the middle cracks me up when he shakes his tush and turns around in a circle at 2:57. Enjoy your laugh for the day...and tell me if you have any insight into where all of their junk went in those 'tards?

Adipositivity

I just read about this new photo collective called The Adipositivity Project, created to promote size acceptance through, as the website puts it, "a visual display of fat physicality. The sort that's normally unseen." The ultimate goal? Broadening definitions of what it means to be beautiful...

This reminds me of a phenomenally innovative and sensitive photographer I interviewed last year for a story in Women's Health - her name is Holly Sasnett and she takes nude photos of women struggling with eating disorders ranging from anorexia to compulsive overeating. Like The Adipositivity Project, documented by New Yorker Substantia Jones, Sasnett does not include her subjects' faces. Not because they should be ashamed, but because looking at a photo of yourself without your face - or looking at your body in mirror from only the neck-down, for that matter - allows you to take a step back and view your physique as an outside would. One who doesn't live with your insecurities or concerns or fears. I've tried this, and it really works - if I stand on my toilet in the master bathroom, the mirror cuts me off at the head and I see my body in a whole new, more objective light.

I love these photos because they show beauty where people often assume ugliness or regret live. I 'm not necessarily saying I would be comfortable in the exact bodies they inhabit...I'm still on my journey to love the one I have right now. But as The Adipositivity Project states, the women behind these images "are educators, executives, mothers, musicians, professionals, performers, artists, activists, clerks, and writers. They are perhaps even the women you've clucked at on the subway, rolled your eyes at in the market, or joked about with your friends. [And] this is what they look like with their clothes off."

(Photos courtesy of Substantia Jones)

When healthy eating becomes an obession

Back in 2001, I wrote a story on orthorexia - an obsession with "healthy" eating - for The Chicago Tribune. I interviewed a "recovering orthorexic" named Kate Finn, then a 34-year-old Venice, Calif., yoga instructor,whose descent began as an experimentation with the raw foods lifestyle and led her a hospital psychiatric wards eating-disorder unit, where she as admitted at 5 foot 8 and 85 pounds.

Kate started out innocently enough, a moderately healthy vegan who ate no animal products, ample vegetables and lots of junk food. Following the advice of friends, who proselytized about the increased clarity and energy that come with eating only uncooked vegetables, fruits, nuts and whole grains, she became a raw-foodist. Though the stomach problems that had long plagued her relented, she began to lose weight.

Next, an acupuncturist diagnosed her with a "weak spleen" and suggested she eschew all raw foods in favor of cooked vegetables, soups and even meat. Talk about mixed messages. One man urged Finn to eat nothing but sprouted wheat. Another time, while working at a health food co-op, she asked one customer how she was doing. "She said, 'Not well. Yesterday I ate some cooked food.'"

Kate told me her "Aha!" moment came when she spotted an article on orthorexia in a yoga magazine. "I was like, 'Wow, that's what I have,'" she recalled.

Sadly, Kate is no longer with us. She died from complications of orthorexia. From her obsession with eating "too healthy."

Back in September, I introduced the concept of orthorexia here and asked if this was something you'd ever struggled with. The majority - 58% - said "There have been times when I became way too focused on eating only "good" foods, but it never got out of control." Which made me feel happy and relieved...and yet some of the comments were concerning.

One reader said, "I once invoked a sugar, wheat and dairy embargo, it started under the guise of an experiment for my health, but once the pounds starting dropping off my motivation changed rather swiftly...it made me a little crazy to be so deprived, I'd spend my evenings wandering the aisles of my local supermarket, gazing longingly at all the forbidden fruit, while feeling all smug and superior to those who didn't have my self control."

Another said of her strict control over everything that went into her body, "People would always tell me 'You are the healthiest eater I know!' and 'I wish I had your self-control!"' and 'I bet your intestines look like brushed steel!' But there are real costs, both physically, mentally and socially with orthorexia. Even though my weight never got freakishly low, I still lost my period and had severe vitamin deficiencies. I was tired all the time. Plus I couldn't eat cake at my kids' birthday parties! Who wants to live like that?"

I'm so glad she summed it up with that moment of clarity. When eating begins to interfere with your life, monopolize your time or dictate how "good" or "pure" you feel, there's a problem. You wanna go organic? Fine. Cutting out dairy and wheat? I understand. But when it gets to the point where you've cut out milk and wheat AND eggs, cheese, soy, corn, oats, bananas, avocados, broccoli, tuna, apples, butter, spinach, oregano, tomatoes and more (as did one patient of a doctor I interviewed on this topic for the Tribune), clearly you are not in a "healthy" place anymore.

I'll be posting my Today Show segment on this topic shortly - both myself and iVillage nutritionist Madelyn Fernstrom are being interviewed. Hope you tuned in and can join the discussion here!

TTFN - Today Show tomorrow!

Blogging before sunrise, catching a plane to NY. If you're in front of a TV, I'll be on tomorrow (Friday) morning, I *think* in the 9 o'clock hour, talking about the obsession with eating healthy.

Back to ya soon. Enjoy your days and pray I'm not sitting next to a snorer or a chatterbox - this lady needs to catch a few Zs. Blinged-out neck brace in place, of course.

x,
Leslie

Dear Dan, I'm sorry I almost bit off your upper lip yesterday morning...

11/12/08

Dear Dan,

I'm sorry I almost bit off your upper lip yesterday morning. It was an accident, I swear. As I was washing off our new red seedless grapes, popping those juicy jewels into my mouth, I wanted to share them with the man I love. I called you over and was just being spontaneous when I softly held that quarter-sized grape between my teeth, pursed my lips and offered you to take a bite. Then, when you did, I got so excited that my mind roamed to my Happy Place and I didn't realize I was actually tearing into your soft, beautiful Angeline Jolie-esque upper lip. Sure, I was momentarily puzzled that the grape was so difficult to bite through but I'm not one to back down from a challenge. Thank you for screaming and only pelting me with three grapes in your agony and frustration. It could have been worse.

But you know what? You're the one who asked me to help you incorporate more fruits and veggies into your diet! I learned it from watching you! I was just trying to sneak some antioxidants into our morning Veteran's Day foreplay. Can you blame a gal? And besides, did you learn nothing from the Tongue-Biting Incident of 2006? When we had a picnic in Lincoln Park and, under the warm summer sun, you offered me a bit of your pickle (heh). Loving salt, and you, I accepted, and then proceeded to actually bite a small chunk of your tongue off. And I swallowed it. The romantic in me likes to reflect on that moment and tune out your spider monkey-like shrieking think "You became a part of me that day." But the gouge that remains in your tongue to this day should serve as a reminder that I am not to be trusted. I am clumsy and flailing and my mind wanders. I have problems focusing on the task at hand, which, as you pointed out this morning between man sobs, is the likely culprit behind my countless falls, spills, tumbles, bruises and bike accidents.

As my wise friend Alyson said when I recalled the grape incident to her: Fool Dan once, shame on Leslie. Fool Dan twice, shame on Dan. You should be more careful when accepting/offering food-and-kissing-related invitations in the future.

But I still love you.

xo,
leslie

What do boobs, butts and toes have in common?

(drum roll...)

Cleavage!!

Would you check out the, um, personality on Salma?!

Yep, cleavage is the topic of the day and I wanna hear what you've got to say. This is for an upcoming Today Show segment on the topic (how much do I love that my work involves getting asked to speak about boobs on national TV? Seriously, I have the breast job ever.

Take a look down at your girls, then type out your thoughts about cleavage. Are you personally pro or against? What about when you see another woman in a bar, showing off two heaving mounds - desperate and unattractive or sexy and confident? How about at work? Remember when everyone freaked out over Hillary Clinton showing some crack? Does age matter? Most important, tell me what makes you decide whether to flash 'em or stash 'em.

Comment me.

Oh, and JUST KELLY, STACEY (Rampant Whistler) and GEMFIT - email me at leslie@lrdiaries.com Sweet oatmeal dreams to you...

x,
Leslie "34 B Display Case" Goldman

PS I swallowed a drop of phytoplankton today. On purpose. Don't ask.

The Big O

I done died and gone to oatmeal heaven. It's an Oatmealpalooza Fest in my tummy and I. Am. Freaking. Out.

Where I am: Quaker Ground Zero Headquarters in Chicago
What time it is: Saturday morning
Who I'm with: A whole slew of the most fabulous bloggers, including MizFit and Stephanie from Back in Skinny Jeans.
Why: Quaker Living Proof Weekend

Well, it appears my lifetime dedication to spreading the word about oatmeal-in-a-Ziplock has paid off and I am Living Large with Quaker. Last night, the people behind The Man (code name: Larry, it's just been revealed) put us up in the gorgeous, swanky Hard Rock Hotel in Chicago (John Lennon stared down at me as my husband and I snoozed, with an unreal view of Michigan Avenue out the floor-to-ceiling windows.)

BTW I'm not the savviest when it comes to technology - I still use a LeClic camera and an abacus, for example - so for up-to-the-minute pics, check out Kath Eats Real Food...she's doing a really nice job chronicling this shindig. How does she make a bowl of oatmeal and a spoonful of organic PB look so freaking delish?

So, right now we're in the Quaker building, listening to a woman named Shelley Haus who has the coolest job title ever - Director of Breakfast. We were just treated to the phattest oatmeal buffet, with all sorts of oats, toppings (brown sugar, cinnamon, golden raisins, strawberries, blueberries, walnuts, heaven), and fresh, sliced fruit. So my most ideal breakfast, basically. The bloggers are heated up right now, talking about the high amounts of sugars and fake additives in some of the newer oatmeal bars. I'm trying to stay a little quiet - not like me at all - because my neck is not doing so swell in this chair (although it is made from recycled soda bottles, so at least I'm eco-chic in my pain.) We all have personal laptops and mine is propped up on a box of Quaker shredded cereal. The air feels full of innovation, excitement and health-consciousness, and I feel like the Quaker people are taking our comments to heart. We've been treated to a slew of brand spanking new products, and got some cool oaty info, such as:

*Oatmeal is recession-proof: 22 cents per serving; 36 cents for a big, overflowing, hug-from-the-inside bowl (my description - and no, I was not paid to say that)

*A part of the oat is called the Endosperm, which makes me giggle.

*Americans throw down 346 million bowls oatmeal/year - I estimate 100 million of those are consumed by the oat-obsessed bloggers in this room alone - and if you took all the tubes of Quaker sold in a year and unwrapped them, they would stretch around world TWICE.

*80% of US households have oatmeal in their cabinets at any given time

*Steel cut oatmeal is THE SAME THING as quick or instant oats! So get of yer high horses, steel cut devotees. They all have the same exact nutritional value: Instant or quick oats are just smushed steel cut oats.

More soon...In the meantime, Quaker wants to know if their oatmeal has worked for you - weight loss, cholesterol lowering, healthy snacking, boosting whole grain intake, saving money, making your kids happy. Leave a comment below, either telling me that OR what your favorite way to enjoy oatmeal is, and I'll land you a nationwide commercial pass the info along PLUS three randomly chosen commenters will get hooked up by me via Quaker, with details to come...

Raise your hands if another woman's face was two inches from your naked butt yesterday! (raises hand)

Yeah. So, I went for my annual skin exam today (oh, Banner Day Camp, how I long for those carefree days of lifeguarding while wearing nothing but a yellow and pink tie-dye monokini, SPF 0.50 Hawaiian Tropic oil, and a smile.) My dermatologist - flanked by a medical student - was charged with the uber-fun job of inspecting every inch of my body, using this microscope-type thing that looks like the tool jewelers use to appraise diamonds. I was naked, save for a faded blue medical gown, open in the back, a way old gray Victoria's Secret thong that I got for free and - I kid you not - fuschia socks that scream "Muy Sexy" in silver lame thread (a gift from my friend Michelle in NY...we have a tradition of surprising each other with the ugliest socks possible whenever we meet up.)

Anyway, the doc was checking me out. Shoulders? Good. Under the boobs? All clear. Bikini line? Stellar.

Then: "Turn around, please."

Oh, sweet Jesus. The open-in-back hospital gown looks good on nobody, especially with an unflattering strand of white elastic going up the butt. But she's a doctor, and she's seen worse. Right?

"Nothing behind the neck," she reported. "Upper back looks good." And then, the direction of her voice changed, sounded farther away. She was crouched down, staring at my butt. And she said, I swear to Gawd, "I just need to spread your butt cheeks and make sure everything's OK in there."

Makes your day seem pretty boring by comparison, huh?

My takeaway: Dermatologists deserve to get paid heaps of money. They have to look at and often touch horrid things all day long, from zits to boils to rashes. And they have to pull apart butt cheeks to check for melanoma. You know, in case anyone's been baking in a tanning booth with their arse spread wide open.

Does this remind anyone of the time I went for a citrus-sugar body wrap and the aesthetician asked me if I wanted her to massage my breasts?

Why do these things always happen to me? And why do I always feel compelled to broadcast them to the world via the blogged word?

I know! Because if I can't laugh at myself, where would I be? Seriously.

My end result: No butt crack skin cancer. And yes, she made me remove my Muy Sexy socks so she could check between my toes for suspicious moles. Doc be thorough.

And now, Reader Meet-Up News!

Oatmeal + Vodka = Best of both worlds

The Quaker Blogger Convention is this weekend and a slew of us bloggers are holding a meet-up for readers! Two meet-ups, actually. Here are the details:

Saturday night meet-up:
Nov. 8 at 10pm
Hard Rock Hotel Rocks Lounge
230 N. Michigan Ave, Chicago, IL 60601

Sunday morning meet-up:
Nov. 10am
Panera Bread
635 N. Fairbanks Court, Chicago, IL 60611

Who else will be at either/both (besides moi, who will be at the Saturday night event)?:

Steph of Back in Skinny Jeans
Carla of MizFit Online
Roni of Roni’s Weigh
Jennette of PastaQueen
Tanya of I Ate a Pie
Lisa of Workout Mommy
Monique of Big Fat Deal
Amy of Super Healthy Kids
Jason of Twit2Fit
Anne Marie of This Mama Cooks
Jenna of Eat Live Run
Kath of Kath Eats
Lyn of Escape from Obesity
Alanna of A Veggie Venture
Anne of Elastic Waist

I'd check their blogs if you're interested in, I dunno, actually talking to someone other than myself - some of us can only do Saturday night, others are up for brunch, most are doing both. It will be so much oatmealy, martini-soaked fun and I hope some WG readers can make it!

Off to New Joisey to give a talk to The College of New Jersey's Bod Squad!

X,
Leslie

Kate Winslet stands up against Photoshopping. Oh, and WE HAVE A NEW PRESIDENT!

Remember this:

Back in 2005, Kate Winslet appeared on the cover of GQ looking like a much taller, thinner version of herself. Being her normal kickass self, the actress came forward and spoke out against the Photoshopped image (GQ admitted they digitally altered her bod), saying, “I actually have a Polaroid that the photographer gave me on the day of the shoot… I can tell you they’ve reduced the size of my legs by about a third. For my money it looks pretty good the way it was taken.”

*Love*

Now she's on the cover of Vanity Fair (full disclosure: I do not read this magazine, making it one of about just three mags I am not hooked on. The others? Kittens and Ammo Monthly and Shorty: The Magazine for Petite Women.)

In VF, Kate (I can call you Kate, right?) says, "I never had huge ambitions - never. I was fat. I didn't know any fat famous actresses. I just did not see myself in that world at all, and I'm being very sincere. You know, once a fat kid, always a fat kid. Because you always think that you just look a little bit wrong or a little bit different from everyone else. And I still sort of have that."

(As an aside, a Vanity Fair spokesman has admitted to "a minimal amount of retouching" in their cover, and Winslet's publicist said there had been some skin tone correction, but her body had "not been airbrushed at all.")

As a formerly chubby girl myself, I can so relate to Kate's "once a fat kid, always a fat kid" mentality. It stinks but it's often true. When you grow up being teased for your size, not being able to fit into the coolest fashions or being picked last for gym class tee ball...that sticks with you. Even though many of us outgrow childhood chub (thanks, Synthroid!), we can have a hard time reconciling our past and remembering that just because stupid Matt Idiotberg called us a cow in fourth grade doesn't mean we aren't beautiful and strong now, regardless of our weight.

I'm thankful for a celeb like Kate who stands up for women everywhere, really, by breaking the secret society-like silence surrounding Photoshop and for loving her body as it is, unstretched and unmanipulated.

PS On a totally unrelated note, my local Starbucks manager bestowed upon me this morning a free Starbucks Gold card - weee! Every store manager received three gold cards to hand out to customers deemed the best. And I was one. Looks like camping out at the Handicapped table every day for the last five years has finally paid off! But I'm still bringing my Quaker oatmeal-in-a-bag. I will never stop that, not for all the 10% discounts in the world...

PS Part 2 How absolutely unreal was last night? Tears and champagne were flowing over here...

More cushion, more pushin'?

So, ya know how there's that tired old stereotype that skinny girls get more action and heavy women are thirsty for lovin'?

Yeah, well it turns out it's not true! Fancy that - a weight-related bias that is actually totally unfounded!

You can thank researchers from the School of Medicine at the University of Hawaii and Oregon Health & Science University for Spam and beavers the news that a woman’s weight does not seem to affect her sexual behavior. As a matter of fact, overweight women were more likely to report having sex with men than women considered to be of “normal weight"...thus perpetuating the other rumor that chubby girls are easy.

Dr. Bliss Kaneshiro (this is real - not her porn name) wanted to study the impact of BMI on sexual behavior, seeing as how certain studies have suggested that obese/overweight women are at increased risk of becoming unintentionally pregnant (that would be as a result of contraceptive failure, sexual behavior or the frequency of intercourse.) But Kaneshiro found no significant difference; 92% of overweight women reported a history of sexual intercourse, as opposed to 87% of women with a normal BMI.

Another researcher involved in the study said the key takeaway from the study is that doctors and health care professionals should avoid making assumptions about sexual behavior based on outward appearances. “Some medical practitioners may not do appropriate follow-up with women who are overweight, they might assume they aren’t having sex unless they are told otherwise,” said Oregon State University professor Marie Harvey.

How sad is it that doctors need to be reminded of this? It's sad but true. We all make judgments based on looks and I bet some docs might assume, I dunno, a person confined to a wheelchair or a person with horrible acne doesn't need to be screened for STIs as vigorously as, say, a young women with breast implants wearing a short skirt and high heels. But Miss Sassypants might be a virgin while the guy in the wheelchair is hooking up left and right.

Just sayin'.

In other news, Twinkies are now being sold in 100-calorie snack packs. Will wonders never cease. You know what? I'm going to start selling homemade Rocky Road fudge in $5, 100-calorie snack packs. Sure, you need a microscope to locate the itsy bitsy teenie weenie sliver of fudge...but it's only 100 calories!! I shall be rich! (Cue evil, sinister laugh).

My question of the day (choose one):
1) Have you ever linked, subconsciously or not, a woman's weight and her sexual proclivities?
2) What food would you most like to see 100-calorie-snackpackified?

Because only boys need strong muscles

Barf.

I saw the most ridiculous commercial the other day for One A Day® Teen Advantage. It showed a couple of teenagers frolicking around town - in a distinctly non-sexual way, I should add, which shocked me since Gossip Girl has me believing all 17-year-olds are too busy gulping gin martinis and grinding in the back of their private limos to do anything else. Anyhow, mixed in to the commercial, of course, was product information about the benefits of these new gender-specific pills. And it ended with the kids holding signs professing their support for these new Boy and Girl vitamins, with the young woman smile-shouting, "For her healthy skin!" and the guy chanting, "And his healthy muscles!"

Get it? Because girls only care about their looks! And only boys need to worry about being strong! It's so obvious, and as easy as popping a pill! Um, offensive, much?

This reminds me of that Target ad with the girl in the snowsuit lying spread-eagled over the giant red bulls-eye. Seriously, how does some of this crap get through layer after layer of approval from the ad agencies and product companies themselves? Did no one stop One-a-Day and say, "Hmm...maybe we should rethink promoting vitamins for girls as being good for their pretty little faces, when we're telling boys our pill can help them grow up big and strong"?? Don't we ALL deserve a little magnesium and Iron, regardless of whether we pee standing up or sitting down. To that point, many girls need to employ the quad-shaking Squat-and-Hover while peeing in nasty public bathrooms, making improved muscle function all the more necessary.

Perhaps I'm over-reacting. I understand that this is not as bad as, say, this.

But still. This is one pill I just can't swallow.